FF:Maurya- The Samrat [Part23 updated on pg 56] - Page 12

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justjayati thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
yes tiny u r absolutely ri8!!!!!!! 
First of all. cornelia's and other's too speaking hindi is completely a work of fiction!!!! Yes no hindi was present at that time!!!!!

secondly, pali and prakrit as i told that was spoken by middle class common men... and jains and buddhists using these languages kind of popularised them also... in the eyes of people who spoke sanskrit... pali and prakrit no more were languages that distinguished the rich from common folks... that's why they used it so that everyone can understand it!!!!
The thing which u wrote is correct and was the same thing i wanted to write...

My FF being a fiction has many fictious aspects one of which is the use of hindi language... Although most of the facts are truly historical but still If i would have made cornelia say "pali and prakri"t instead of "hindi" in her dialogues inspite of the fact that i am writing the ff in hindi... then it might have confused the readers,,,, that' why i decided to make her say hindi in her dialogues... hope u understand what i'm trying to say!!!!!!!!

thnx for ur valuable comments... I really do appreciate it!!!!!👏 and hope that u always keep giving me such good suggestions and sharing ur thoughts!!!!!!!

Thanks a lot!!!!😊
justjayati thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Part-9

Where is Amatya??? Finally revealed!!!

Outside Cornelia's camp

[Cornelia was about to enter the camp when Omegas arrives]

Omegas: Helen!!![then observing some soldiers nearby] Rajkumaari Cornelia!!! Aap kahan reh gayin thi?? Aapko suchit karne ke liye maine apne vishesh suraksha sainikon ko bhi bheja tha parantu unka bhi kuch nahin pata!!! Aap thik to hain na??

Cornelia: Haan Omegas…. Main bilkul thik hun…[then remembering something] Aur wo suchna patra to…. Ahhh!!! Main kaise bhul gayi… ye sab us bhartiya ke kaaran hua!!!

Omegas: Bhartiya??? Kiski baat kar rahin hain aap???

Cornelia: Kuch nahin….. Wo sab chodo aur bataao ki uss soochna patra mein kya likha tha tumne??

Omegas: Aapke bhai , Rajkumar Antiochus aur Rajkumar Alex, dono kal ratri se naa jaane kis baat par lad rahein hain… Badi mushkil se unke beech haathapaai hone se roki hai!!! Ab aap hi unhe samjha sakti hain… Shigra chaliye!!

Cornelia: In dono ko samajh mein kyon nahin aata kuch??? Aisi visham paristhitiyon mein bhi dono apna yudhdha band nahin kar sakte… Agar pitaji ko pata chala is baare mein toh kitne dukhi honge wo!! ….. Chalo!!

[they then move to the camp where Antiochus and Alex were present… The camp was quite far away from the main camps as they were not participating in the war.In the tent the both princes were about to physically harm each other when Cornelia interrupted.]

Cornelia: Bas karo tum dono!!! Agar ab kisi ne kisi ko chua bhi to bhul jaana ki Cornelia naam ka jeev iss sansaar mein kabhi paida hua tha…

Antiochus and Alex [together]: [pointing towards each other] Isne shuruwaat ki thi!!!!!!

Cornelia: Mujhe nahin sun na hai ki kisne shuruwaat ki thi!!!!! Tum dono samajhte kyon nahin??? Sthitiyan iss samay humare virudhdha chal rahin hain… Agar aise mein tum dono aapas mein hi ladoge toh pitaji par kya bitegi??? Isliye abhi ke liye ye sab band karo…. Waapas Macedonia jaakar main khud tum dono ko apne saamne khada kar ke ladvaungi!!!!!!! Par abhi ke liye nahin!!! Tum dono iss choti si baat ko samajhne layak bade toh ho hi gaye ho!!!! Antiochus!! Jaao apne shivir mein….. Tum dono ko saath rakhna khatre se khaali nahin….

Antiochus: Par Cornelia!!!

Cornelia: Tumne suna nahin maine kya kaha???? Jaao!!!!

[Antiochus said nothing further and moves out of tent with thumping steps to show his aggression]

Cornelia: Aur Alex tum!!!! Tumhe toh main samajhdaar samajhti thi!!! Tumse aisi asha nahin thi!!! Ab jab tak hum waapas Macedonia nahin pahunch jaate….. tum Antiochus ke saamne nahin jaaoge!!! Usse kisi bhi tarah ke vaad vivaad mein nahin sammilit hoge!!! Main jaanti hun ki main tumhari behen nahin hoon…. Par phir tumhe apna bhai maana hai aur ye asha rakhoongi tumse….. ki tum meri baat ka maan rakhoge….???

[Alex too says nothing further and nods his head in consent. After this, Cornelia and Omegas come out of the tent. By now the sun is half visible throwing its reddish light all over the mountains and the sky just like as if nature has spread its all red colours in the environment. Seeing this beauty of nature Cornelia is speechless, she tries to say something but the present tensed situations overcame the beautiful nature.]

Omegas: Helen??? Kab tak in dono ko aise door rakh kar paristhitiyon se bhaagogi??? Jo prashn inke man mein hai wo hi mere man mein bhi hai… Ye dono ab bade ho rahein hain aur jald hi Samrat Seleucus ko inmein se kisi ko apna uttaridhikaari ghoshit karna hoga!!! Par kise?? Apne putra Antiochus ko jise ve itna sneha karte hain yaa phir Samrat Sikandar ke putra Alex ko, jise wo itna maante hain aur jo pure Greek samrajya ka asli vaaris hai????

Cornelia: Vishwaas karo… Main aur Pitaji bhi is uljhan mein hain…. Issliye hum dono ne iss baat ka nirnay samay par chod diya hai…. Abhi ke liye wo sab chodo!!! Ye bataao ki Cassender ke iraadon ka pata chala??

Omegas: Are haan…. Ye toh main batana hi bhul gaya…. Us soochna patra mein maine ye bhi likha tha… Cassender ne iss samay Magadh ke kaaran…… akramaan ko kuch mahino ke liye taal diya hai…

Cornelia: matlab wo tabtak aakraman nahin karega jabtak Magadh ki senaayein tainaat hain???[a bright streak of light comes in Cornelia's eyes] Aur agar Greece aur magadh ke beech mitrata sandhi ho gayi to… Cassender Greece aur magadh ki sangathit sena ko kabhi hara bhi nahin paayega…..!!!

Omegas: Aisa hi ho to behtar hai kyon ki pata chala hai ki………..

Cornelia: Kya pata chala hai??? Nihsankoch ho kar kaho mitra!!!

Omegas: Cassender keval Seleucus ko haraana nahin chahta…. Balki vo vivaah karna chahta hai …….. tumse!!!!

Cornelia: Kya???? Wo paagal ho gaya hai kya??? Kitne vivaah karega???? Wo bhi mujhse ??? Aayu mein wo mujhse bahut bada hai…. Ab toh keval ek hi asha hai…. Pitaji sandhi ki sharton ko swikaar kar lein… Anyatha use mujhse vivaah karne se swayam main bhi nahin rok paaungi!!!! Oh zeus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile Indian Camp

[a soldier enters Chankya's tent]

Soldier: Pranaam Acharya!!! Samrat bhraman se aa chuke hain.. aur isi chawni ki orr padhar rahein hain..

Chanakya: Thik hai …. Jaao….

[Soon CGM enters]

Chanakya: Chandragupta!!! Tum kahaan reh gaye the???

CGM: Are Achaarya wo main bas aise hi nadi ke paas gaya tha…. Aap bataiye… koi mahatvapurna baat??

Chanakya: Haan… Main parveteshwar putra Malayaketu se milne kal raat gaya tha… Wahaan se jo soochna mili usse ye hi lagta hai ki Amatya Rakshas yavano ke shivir mein hain...

CGM: kya???? Par amatya wahaan kya kar rahein hain???

Chanakya: Shayad kisi rajkiya insaan ko Bhartiya sanskriti aur bhashayein sikha rahein hain…. Waise maine mehir ko iske bare mein soochna prapt karne ke liye ek patra bhej diya hai…

[listening this, suddenly the words spoken by Helen about the 'acharya' who teaches the princess comes in CGM's mind]

CGM: Achcha Achaarya... Ye bataaiye ki kya Amatya kabhi Takshshila ke adhyaapak bhi reh chuke hain??

[CGM asks this because he remembered well what Helen told him about her Acharya i.e. he was earlier a teacher in "Takshashila"]

Chanakya: Haan!!! Shuru shuru mein who Takshashila mein rajneeti ke Vishay mein padhate the… Wahin toh Magadh ke purva Amatya… Amatya Shakhtar ne unke adbhut gunn aur rajneeti ke bare mein samajh ko dekh kar unki bhet Dhananand se karvaayi thi….

[A smile comes on CGM's face which soon turns into a laughter...]

Chanakya: Kya hua??? Tum aise has kyon rahe ho???

CGM: Aapne sach kaha tha acharya…. Niyati ko samajh paana asambhav hai…. Mehir ko bol dijiye, use kuch pata lagane ki aavashyakta nahin… Amatya ka pata chal gaya hai…. Wo yavan chavni mein aavashya the ….. parantu ab ve Macedonia ke liye ravaana ho chuke hain….

Chanakya: Macedonia??? Tumhe kaise pata???

CGM: Lambi kahaani hai Acharya…. Phir kabhi bataaunga!!! ……. Aur haan… jis 'rajkiya insaan' ko ve padha rahein hain…. Wo aur koi nahin balki rajkumaari Cornelia hai….

Chanakya: Sadhu! Chandragupta!!!!! Sadhu!!!! To tumne sandhi ki sharton ke bare mein soch liya??

CGM: Bilkul!!!!

[a mysterious smile comes on CGM's face which is immediately read and understood by Chanakya]


Part 9 done!!!!!!!! Guys kaisa laga???? Feel free to comment!!!!!😉

wayward thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Really !! Aap Bhi Naa !!!! Chandu Ko Helen Se Bhi Milva Dia Aur Amatya Ko Bhi Bhaga Dia !! Sach Mein Aap Bhi Naa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tiny15 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
@jayathi well done!! u really write v.gud FFs!!👏👏👏waiting 4 more!!
ashi.melodyfire thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
well dear !!!!!

superb update 
sach main tum sab ke ff ke samne mere ff ki age toh minus mein chali jati hai 😆

if u dont mind toh mein ek suggestion doon?
chalo de hi deti hoon 😆
elder bindusara ka role humare ashu urf ashu ko bana do na plz😳
swethasyam08 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
wow too good. poor Amatya. u r making him to run away a lot  😆 



Swetha
RoseFairy thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
awesome update jo...u r one of d greatest writer in cgm forum (one of means abhiram and ankita bhi hai😉)...but the story is getting more and more interesting...now update soon dear
justjayati thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Thank u all for ur appreciation and support...

@Aru
Un witers ki list mein apna naam bhi jod lena!!!!

@Ashi
Yaar!!!!!! itni taarif karogi toh main 7th nahi balki 70th sky par pahuch jaaungi...

@Swetha...
Yes... amatya race ke liye prepare kar raha hai... khud ko!!!!!!! that's why i m making him run so much...😆

@pallo, tiny, radhi... and everyone...
Thnx for liking it ...

Will update soon!!!
Amor. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
1 more interesting part
continue soon
chand1234 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
The story is getting interesting day by day 😛 
Keep up the good work and never ever end this story 😉 😉

U write AWESOME !!!!! 👏 👏 👏

Waiting for the next part :-))))0