Thank you, you PMed me and I felt 'whoa' being able to read quality in I-F.
'Surrender' is a very misleading title to any piece of writing, I-Fwise. Meaning, I have read cheesy, almost nastily cheesy FFs under this name, chasing my sanity. Naturally, I was expecting something reminiscent here, solace was - you have grammar!
But then I read it and my apprehension was shunned. This may not be the best of yours, as you don't find it very polished. However, it made a poignant read to me. Personally, the sentiment it captures is eloquent. The potent masochism and sadism here is visible and everything. Such ideas do strike you in the head, you know? I have spent the the past one year writing whatever struck me and it was dark and critical of life and people all the time, and obnoxious sometimes because people had started to tell me it was getting more painstaking by the minute to comprehend the themes of my stories and even the way I wrote, all complexity.
Nonetheless, I like reading pieces like this OS of yours. I connect with stern, mindless people who have all day to waste pondering about death and life over a glass of wine and surrendering to flames in order to burn to ashes, to be very precise. I am also finding it very amusing to be able to leave back five-hundred cents in the name of two cents, after all.
And possibly the reason why such a horrendous author as yourself landed over here, in this highly stranded section could be this - you might actually be worse than you've realized yet. No wonder a handful of people read from me too. We are horrific.
P.S. I can't really be modest. Sorry, I know I am a super writing!