.: 5th Writer of the Week :.

Congrats Sookie

Thanks Aahaana :-)

Here is few warmer ups

Do you yawn in your sleep? 

I don't know. Once I get the CCTV recording which was done while I was sleeping last night, I can check and confirm. Or to be thorough, I might as well check for past one month just in case. Sounds cool?

Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on? 

It's little complicated than that. Glow-in-the-dark takes a very long hike when the lights are on since they have issues with co-habitation. As soon as the lights go off, glow-in-the-dark is summoned by the objects associated with them and they start glowing. (Its a case of break-up gone messy)

How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.

Simple! Since all lemons are utilized for washing liquid no lemons are left for lemon juice. So they use artificial flavorings. Once we run out of artificial flavorings, we may even start using liquid soap as a substitute for lemon juice. 

Do you wake up or open your eyes first?

It's different actually. In my semi-sleep state, I grope around for my laptop, login and hit F5. Two seconds later I open my eyes to slashdot.org. Four hours later, I wake up.

Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

Who doesn't? He kept it in a cage right next to phoenix. It was guarded by unicorns since woodpecker would probably wood-peck (closely related to henpeck) Noah's ark.

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

Writers are coolest form of Homo Sapiens. That's all there is to it.

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

There is no need to do that. Simply ask him to wave a "hello hi bye bye" (okay, I can't believe I actually wrote that and it rang in my mind in Maami-ji's accent!!) to people and he will be occupied.

If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

You watch a lot of television lady. Come to my house and check the number of deadbolts I have on one inch thick teak door. They need a SWAT team to break the door open with that huge log thingy they use; if they are lucky, that is. I might actually open the door for those bozos for the racket they would be making outside my house. If they even scratch it, am suing them for vandalism of personal property.

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

It's like Death Note. (Heard of that Manga/Anime/Live action? Where if you write name of a person in the book and then they die within few seconds.) Only that there is no death but the reader get to vent out their frustration by writing made-up curses on author or the characters of the book.

Its cheap psychotherapy, really.

Why can't donuts be square?

World is obsessed with Circles and it has become the default Shape of any edible object. That's why. I mean you have pies, pizzas, laddus, dosa, idly all in circular shape including donut. Frankly I believe circle is extremely overrated. Its time square or polygon to take the podium. 

Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?

I completely agree with this. But my mom doesn't, unfortunately.

What happens to an irresistible force when it hits an immovable object?

Twilight Saga happens. (I won't explain any further.) :D

If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?

Of course there is! Speed of smell is directly proportional to sanity of the person and inversely proportional to the level of stinkiness.

formula is,

sm = l * S/ss

where,

sm = Speed of smell

l = lambda, constant, also called as rotting factor which is 1.4 for food items. (Refer handbook to know constant value for other items)

ss = level of stinkiness - logarithmic factor derived after referring a table (similar to Clark tables) which has items emitting smell, days in rotting condition and stink factor all combined in one.

Why do overalls have belt loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?

Either people are greedy for wearing too many accessories or too paranoid to leave the thing alone. Had I been the designer for overalls, I would have introduced something like garter on it too. Can't trust straps and belts these days, you know?

Do people in prison celebrate halloween... if so how?

Of course they do! But not when the rest of the world celebrates. You should be in prison for one whole year and only then you will know the secret halloween celebrations. I can't tell you cause am sworn to secrecy. So sorry.

Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?

Actually yes, for a fact. A close friend's brother works at Airport as a security guard so I actually know answer to this one!!! :D :D

Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they're English?

Also reason why more than half the stuff in medical school textbooks are in Latin. Latin is dead language and the only way to keep it alive is shove it down the throats of us very much alive people.

Besides world thinks that anything in Latin gives an aura of authority and tinges it with ancient mystic crap. Can't help if JKR was a sucker for that.

What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?

"I don't know" in Greek. Seriously, "Its all Greek to me" - who says that these days? I don't. I mean I had to Google this question to figure out what the heck it meant :D

What happens if a queen gives birth to a pair of siamese twins? Who gets to be king?

Incomplete question. The twins are boys or girls? (*sniggers* after cleverly escaping from further thinking to answer the random question)

Do all-boys schools have girls bathrooms? Conversely, do all-girls schools have boys bathrooms?

Do all-boys schools have only men teachers? Do all-girls schools have only women teachers? If yes, then can this be guaranteed for future too? If yes, then its sexist. If no, then you gotta have it. :-)

Here is a real life incident:

I was working in Swiss 3 years ago and the building I was working in had 3 floors in which only the top floor had ladies room with single stall. The reason - in the entire building, there were only three women (including me) employees. But as per regulations, they cannot not have a ladies room in a work environment :-)

What would happen to the sea's water level if every boat in the World was taken out of the water at the same time?

No change! Because whenever a boat goes in, water disperses out. Once boat comes out, water goes in. Voila!

How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?

In which country? Come to India, there will be traffic jams on highway because some moron would have created a huge blunder while putting up a road sign, forget billboard, causing every darn car owner to honk as if the collective sound waves of honking will miraculously solve the problem.

Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?

Do the French people eat French fries, or are they just called fries? Answer to both the questions are same. I think.

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

1445.653637365 kilometers. The data is 100% accurate and 101% confidential. Meaning if you tell this number to someone, they won't buy it because they don't know and will call it wrong or laugh on your face. Frankly, that's not my problem.

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Exactly why we say - Intel inside Idiot outside. Apply the same analogy. Besides, Department of Exterior sounds dirty.