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Someone Like You (Ch12 - pg33) ArHi FF (Page 4)

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FebruaryFlower

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FebruaryFlower

Joined: 17 July 2010

Posts: 3128

Posted: 23 October 2011 at 5:16pm | IP Logged
Fab update Nali!!
Shyam is so unbearable!!
Hope Arnav finds all this out soon.
Looking forward to the next part dear!
Thanks for the PM!!
Smile

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Nali4180

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littlemoi

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littlemoi

Joined: 22 August 2011

Posts: 4273

Posted: 23 October 2011 at 6:07pm | IP Logged

you are an awesome writer!!!

read all the chapters in one go and all were fantastic!!
plzz plzz add me to your pm list!!
 
 

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Nali4180

sharie2525

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sharie2525

Joined: 04 August 2011

Posts: 172

Posted: 23 October 2011 at 9:40pm | IP Logged
i really don't want that shyam 2 succeed in his plansss 

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Nali4180

Nali4180

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Nali4180

Joined: 03 September 2010

Posts: 146

Posted: 24 October 2011 at 7:15am | IP Logged
Originally posted by littlemoi

you are an awesome writer!!!

read all the chapters in one go and all were fantastic!!
plzz plzz add me to your pm list!!
 
 
Thank you for all your lovely comments, This is my first fic and it means alot that you like my stuff. Ill try to get an update out soon. Embarrassed

Nali4180

Groupbie

Nali4180

Joined: 03 September 2010

Posts: 146

Posted: 24 October 2011 at 7:17am | IP Logged
Originally posted by pardesii

I'm reviewing both chapters at once so forgive me if I overlook something. The 'jalebi juncture' as I shall refer to it was splendidly in character as we know Khushi is a worry-eater but the line about 'eating them out of house and home' amused me as it's that dry sarcasm of Arnav that we all love. Plus, he has that feigned detachment in place that he refuses to outrightly ask about Shyam, and when he does get a chance his jealousy gets the better of him and he switches back to his abrupt mode. Good thing ASR is renowned for his prickly demeanor or else Khushi might have sensed his jealousy. Or not since it is KKG we're talking about, the one who fussed about him beating up the goons for pushing her without taking it to it's rightful conclusion.

Arnav is smart. He went straight to looking for a paper trail for this guy but why can't he get desperate enough to go on a stake-out outside her home! Or am I jumping ahead as it'd be too hard to justify him stalking her yet if Khushi is in danger due to her tenant than presumably so is the rest of the family? Oh can you maybe get Arnav to take Akash to meet Payal so he can indirectly hit her up for more info on Shyam. (okay so that is my thinly veiled attempt to ask for an Akash-Payal scene since I like these too as much as ArHi).

Shyam is one cunning villain in this fic. Faking the coma to increase the pressure on Khushi. Only does this mean he will keep Shashi drugged until they are at the mandap? I hope Khushi somehow has a mini breakdown in front of Arnav again so he learns of her impending marriage but not until we see more jealousy from him. I want the J factor to make him more expressive despite it going against his carefully built up armour.

Alas, I must point out I adore your style of writing. It's really descriptive and well paced.
Wow pardessi, i love your fab analysis for the fic and you've given me food for thought. I'll take your recommendations into consideration. Just wait for the next update and keep your eyes pealed.

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veracity

prishanthi

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prishanthi

Joined: 24 October 2011

Posts: 7

Posted: 24 October 2011 at 12:04pm | IP Logged
sorry for bad english but really your story very good. mujhey yeh bahut accha lagta hai!!!!!!!!! i like how you write arnav. he my favourite. please make couple happen quick.  

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Nali4180

pri12

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pri12

Joined: 15 April 2011

Posts: 4527

Posted: 24 October 2011 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
niceee...plzzz pm me whn u updte next part

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meenaluma

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meenaluma

Joined: 10 August 2011

Posts: 7172

Posted: 24 October 2011 at 1:07pm | IP Logged
plz add me 2 ur pm list its superb

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