Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain

   

VirMan - FF - A Cindrella Story (Index & Imp Note)

Post Reply New Post

Page 1 of 17

Page 1
Page   of 17
Page 2 Page 17

Forum.Maniac

IF-Rockerz

Forum.Maniac

Joined: 14 October 2011

Posts: 5384

Posted: 20 October 2011 at 2:19pm | IP Logged
Hey Guys! This is my First Attempt at Writing an FF, So Plz Read it and Tell me if i Should Continue or Not.

Prologue


Manvi stared out the window of the bus & thought about
the past 24 hours which were going to
change her life or maybe her life had already changed the day she had met Jeevika,
her best friend.


She turned her head
and stared at Jeevika sleeping peacefully on the seat next to her. It hadn't
even been 6 months since they had met but Jeevika had become a very important
part of her life. She had become her saviour.


Manvi shut her eyes and her mind travelled back to the day
when the new girl, Jeevika had joined her college. Manvi had heard everyone talking
about how bold & beautiful she was, and then Jeevika turned out to be in
Manvi' s class. For days, Manvi used to just admire her, she brought colour and
life wherever she went and Manvi used to long to become like her or become her
friend but just like everyone else Jeevika also hadn't noticed her or so she
had thought.


One day, without any word, Jeevika came and sat beside Manvi
and started an easy conversation with her. Manvi was genuinely surprised
because no one had ever sat beside her for all the years she had been in the
college because of her past.



Now Everyday, Jeevika used to
sit beside her. Manvi tried her best to avoid Jeevika because she feared what
had happened in the past could happen again with Jeevika, but Jeevika was
stubborn, she wouldn't give up and Manvi had to. She told her everything about
her past hoping that it would keep Jeevika away from her but instead it brought
them closer. Jeevika had understood everything and had restored her faith in
herself'almost, because every now and then the thought came to her and now it
scared her even more than before because she couldn't afford to loose Jeevika too.




CHARACTER SKETCH
Manvi as Cindrella - Manvi was once a very bubbly, fun and lively girl but after the death of her parents and because of her step mother ,she turned into shy, silent type. Her step mother has always blamed her for her parents death saying that whoever she loves dies, that is why she is afraid of mingling with anyone until she meets Jeevika.
Jeevika as Fairy God mother - Jeevika is Manvi's best friend and the exact opposite of Manvi. She dislikes Manvi's step mother very much thats why she makes a plan and flees to Mumbai with Manvi. She loves Manvi like a sister she never had. She wants to bring back happiness in Manvi's Life.
Virat as Prince Charming - Virat is a handsome, flirtatious, spoiled rich guy who gets whatever he wants. Virat loves his brother, Viren which has been a cause of rift between his father and him.
Viren - Viren's parents, who were Vashika's friends, died when he was very young. So, Vashika adopted him despite of her husband not wanting to. Viren loves Vashika and Virat very much and always feels grateful to them. He is a handsome, silent and a very studious guy whose doesnt want to divert his concentration because of girls,like his brother.

PART 1 - PAGE 1
PART 2 - PAGE 2


PART 3 - PAGE 4
PART 4 - PAGE 7

NOTE : Its hard to pm evryone who are not in my buddy list so plz send me a buddy request. I'd be really grateful :) And i hav xams so will update after 25th Feb coz thats wen they end...I m really sorry but cnt help it :(

Edited by SanaR1108 - 26 January 2012 at 1:14am

The following 47 member(s) liked the above post:

simron...laila889s_sanjiMus@cutegurl224kelowna16-Pankhuri-niya_skavyakomaliMairMayuriCutiee_Ashh2cute4u_22sparkling-starluvlife84sonika_virmanNiShal4LifeluvzindagiAashika_virmanOYesSheDidarhiforever22KaranKundra4EvalaynabeintehaaZaYaAzmiiHonkytonkjenna_paysha1989princess.5-Amri-PhoenixRadarsnehalovegurtihooriia_x..Labyrinth..moksha89SugarCubes-Nahi-CavingInpreethisxxXSejalXxx-Antu-_-Aslan-IAmAaruRach-dc...Natasha...love_never_diesVarunKiBiwisnowflake.__Sneha__

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "VirMan - FF - A Cindrella Story (Index & Imp Note)" in Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

Forum.Maniac

IF-Rockerz

Forum.Maniac

Joined: 14 October 2011

Posts: 5384

Posted: 20 October 2011 at 2:22pm | IP Logged
Chapter 1

Manvi woke up to the sound of someone calling her name.

Jeevika: Manvi Utho, Hum Pahunch Gaye Hain.

Manvi: ( confused) Kahaan Pahunch Gaye?

Jeevika : Mujhe Lagta Hai Tum Ab Bhi Neend Mein Ho….( excited) Manu Hum Shimla To Delhi Pahunch Gaye Hain Jahaan Se Humein Mumbai Ki Flight Leni Hai, Remember?

Manvi: (hysterical)Oh My God, Jeevika! Humein Vapas Chale Jana Chahiye, Mom Bohot Gussa Hongi Jab Unhe Pata Chalega Ke Main Bhag Gayi….Oh My God! Mujhe Toh Yakheen Hi Nahi Ho Raha Hai Ki Main Bhag Kar Aa Gayi Hoon.

Jeevika: Haan Manvi, Tu Finally Bhag Kar Aa Gayi Teri Us Khadoos Step Mom Ko Chod Kar….Mere Saath, Toh Chinta Mat Kar Woh Tujhe Dhoond Bhi Nahi Payegi Aur Jab Sabko Pata Chalega Tu Bhag Gayi Toh Unki Bohot Badnaami Hogi….Oh! I Wish Main Unhe Embarrass Hote Hue Dekh Sakti.

Manvi: Jeevi  Tu Pagal Hai ( laughs)

Jeevika : Haan Hoon Aur Ab Jaldi Bahar Chal Hum Akhri Passengers Bus mein Bache Hue Hain

Manvi Looks Around.

Manvi: Arre Haan, Chal

In The Taxi, Jeevika Notices That Manvi Is Lost In Her Thoughts.

Jeevika: Main Janti Hoon Ke tu Kya Soch Rahi Hai…

Manvi Raises Her Eye Brows

Jeevika: …Yehi Na ke Kash Tu Meri Jagah Kisi Ladke Ke Saath Bhagti.

Manvi: Nahi Main Aisa Bilkul Nahi Soch Rahi Thi

Jeevika: Jhooti, Main Sab Janti Hoon & Don't Worry, Tu Apni Nayi Life Shuru Karne Ja Rahi Hai & I Am Sure Tujhe Apna Prince Charming Mumbai Mein Zaroor Milega.

Manvi: Mujhe Koi Prince Charming Nahi Chahiye.

Jeevika: ( thinks) Tu Chahe Ya Na Chahe Par Who Zaroor Aayega Aur Tujhe Har Who Khushi Dega Jo Tu Deserve Karti Hai Aur Joh Tujhe Aaj Tak Nahi Mili, Mujhe Poora Yakeen Hai.

Manvi: Waise Hum Wahaan Land Kab Karenge?

Jeevika: Do Baje.

*******

In An Exotic Mansion, Separate From The Busy Streets Of Mumbai. The Morning Rays Reflecting Through The Windows Of Virat's Room, Who Is Still Curled Up In His Blanket. Vashika, Virat's Mom Enters The Room.

Vashika: Virat Beta, Utho. Tumhe Dad ke Client Ms. Mansi Ko Pick Karne Jana Hai.

Virat: (sleepy)Ma Aapke  Laadle Bete Viren Ko Bhejdo Na Plz.

Vashika: Main Bhej Deti Beta Par Tu Apne Dad Ko Janta Hai Na, Viren Gaya Toh Woh Bura Maan Jayenge, Woh Chahte Hain Ki Unka Khud Ka Beta Jaye

Virat: ( angry) Woh Bura Mane Ya Na Mane, I Don't Care.

Vashika: Acha Theek Hai, Unke Liye Nahi Toh Sahi Mere Liye Chale Ja, Main Unhe Promise Kar Chuki Hoon Ki Main Tujhe Bhejungi….Jayega Na.

Virat Sits Up In His Bed

Virat: Ab Aapne Promise Kiya Hai Toh Jana Toh Padhega….Waise Flight Kabki Hai?

Vashika: Do Baje.

The following 45 member(s) liked the above post:

Mus@amee1marishka.khanritika.123anu0555srujanahpvrniha12345Mysterious.Lady2cute4u_22sparkling-starluvlife84chingaminglove.1MairMayuripulu1995kelowna16kavyakomali--Preeti--jenna_pAzmiiHonkytonklaynakarthik80OYesSheDidRuchi-interestarhiforever22KaranKundra4EvabeintehaaZaYa..Labyrinth..BrunoMarsPhoenixRadarmoksha89snehalovegurtiCavingInIAmAaruRach-dc-Antu-_-Aslan-preethismiss_bennetSugarCubes-Nahi-VarunKiBiwishalini_sRKDramebaazsnowflake.

marishka.khan

Groupbie

marishka.khan

Joined: 17 September 2011

Posts: 69

Posted: 20 October 2011 at 2:44pm | IP Logged
You wrote well
But i have to say i would have loved it more if u would have made the characters a bit more believable as in more close to the actual ones.
The bond between maanvi and jeevika is sisterly and you made them best friends,it's kind of not the same.It's just my point of view.i sincerely hope u dont take offence.
As i said you wrote well and shall continue Big smile

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

kavyakomali

Forum.Maniac

IF-Rockerz

Forum.Maniac

Joined: 14 October 2011

Posts: 5384

Posted: 20 October 2011 at 2:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by marishka.khan

You wrote well
But i have to say i would have loved it more if u would have made the characters a bit more believable as in more close to the actual ones.
The bond between maanvi and jeevika is sisterly and you made them best friends,it's kind of not the same.It's just my point of view.i sincerely hope u dont take offence.
As i said you wrote well and shall continue Big smile

Virat And Viren's character is the same but manvi and jeeviaka's characters are opposite, but manvi will change in further chapters after meeting virat ofcourseWink and become more like her original self  and i will work on jeevika and manvi's bond, make it more sisterly and no offense taken, i actually expected u all to say something critical so that i can improveSmile


Edited by SanaR1108 - 20 October 2011 at 2:52pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

kavyakomali

marishka.khan

Groupbie

marishka.khan

Joined: 17 September 2011

Posts: 69

Posted: 20 October 2011 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
Yayyy!=D
Well then all i have to say is I am waiting anxiously for you to update the next partBig smile

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

kavyakomaliForum.Maniac

--Preeti--

Senior Member

--Preeti--

Joined: 04 November 2010

Posts: 939

Posted: 20 October 2011 at 3:06pm | IP Logged
I love the different concept of how they arent sisters :) And keep it up and do pm me whenever u update :) Big smile And a suggestion u should do a character sketch :) 

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

kavyakomaliVarunKiBiwi

Forum.Maniac

IF-Rockerz

Forum.Maniac

Joined: 14 October 2011

Posts: 5384

Posted: 20 October 2011 at 3:08pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by punjaban7

I love the different concept of how they arent sisters :) And keep it up and do pm me whenever u update :) Big smile And a suggestion u should do a character sketch :) 

Ya i will do a Character Sketch if i get good responseSmile

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

kavyakomali

miss_bennet

IF-Rockerz

miss_bennet

Joined: 24 November 2008

Posts: 6436

Posted: 20 October 2011 at 3:14pm | IP Logged
nice one sana!!! I guess Virat will confuse mansi with manvi and end up picking her instead...

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

TUK...NYCkavyakomali

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
Kuch love jaisa- VirManFF part22:pg81 updt19/6/13

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 83 84

-Priyam- 669 153964 27 January 2014 at 8:13am
By pink1
Megz's VirMan Fantasy: Soumini gets VirMan married

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

IndigoBlues 68 27791 01 October 2013 at 12:36am
By hemameenu
VirMan OS&SS : Note - pg.70

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 72 73

ashred12 579 106630 11 May 2013 at 10:24am
By JESNIA
ll Spice&Spicy llVirMan SS Ch5-PG15|April30

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 16 17

RKDramebaaz 133 30043 17 January 2013 at 1:11am
By sweetyyyyyyy
VirMan SS- tere ishq mein..(part 3 updt/ PG 09)

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 12 13

sweetshab 100 21001 13 May 2012 at 2:17pm
By misaki

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.