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Freethinker112 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 03 February 2013 at 9:09pm | IP Logged

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Posted: 03 February 2013 at 10:21pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Freethinker112

TFS..
 
 making Holy Water by boiling the Hell out of it...Wink
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Posted: 03 February 2013 at 10:39pm | IP Logged

Notes:


Notice at Church: Don't leave ur mobiles, purses, wallets, handbags, girlfriends unattended. Others may think it is an answer to their prayers.

if you're 40+ and never married, just say you're divorced so people won't think there's something wrong with you...
 
Dear women, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest ... Eat a banana!
 
a man and his wife were having an intense fight when the wife told him to get out. so the husband packed his things and as he was leaving, the wife said "i hope you die a slow agonizing death"the husband replied "oh, so now you want me to stay?!!!
 

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Freethinker112

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Posted: 04 February 2013 at 12:49am | IP Logged
 
LOL


Edited by Prometeus - 04 February 2013 at 12:50am

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Freethinker112

Freethinker112 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 04 February 2013 at 1:03am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Prometeus

 
LOL

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Posted: 04 February 2013 at 11:44pm | IP Logged

One mind blowing interview
-----------------------------------------------------------
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from Baban Rao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: Baban Rao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is – due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') – "I can't invest so much of money". No baap actually said – "I will never waste so much of money on you". So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name – Baban Rao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.

Interviewer: Ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6!
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No no, I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher studies?
Candidate: He he he, are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platforms. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense – C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is – most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Info Tech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone calls and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like – 'Showstoppers ' , 'hot fixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress Code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there are Olympics coming up in China in the current year, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before and that is why I kept on asking you questions. Welcome to INFOSYS.

---------------------
The fellow was appointed in a newly created section 'Stress Management' in the HRD of Infosys...

source:email4wrd
Freethinker112 IF-Sizzlerz
Freethinker112
Freethinker112

Joined: 16 May 2012
Posts: 13742

Posted: 05 February 2013 at 12:42am | IP Logged
**Edited: Picture inappropriate for IF**

Edited by souro - 05 February 2013 at 9:21am
Freethinker112 IF-Sizzlerz
Freethinker112
Freethinker112

Joined: 16 May 2012
Posts: 13742

Posted: 05 February 2013 at 5:22am | IP Logged

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