Balika Vadhu

   

From Jagya's point of view (Page 8)

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pjyo

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pjyo

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Posted: 17 October 2011 at 7:09am | IP Logged
Originally posted by khusi_*

Originally posted by pjyo

If he really cared to make his relationship stable he would have got divorce from anandi,if he can beg for her for money why not  beg  divorce from anandi too...-just for gauri to feel completly secure and to prove to her  "even legally iam not connected to anandi any more" ..
And  he wasnt concerned about anandi's pain AT ALL- Infact he gave  a damn what happened to her..he himself said to sumitra,"i have thrown anandi out of my life,you too throw her out"-.Shocked... this isnt how you behave if you are  bothered about someone's pain..
exactly...u dont care fine...but the ppl(sumi,bhairon) who r also somehow responsible(conducting child marrige) for A's prob can take care of her...who r u...say them..throw her outAngry
phew...i cant even find a single +ve point in J.
 
and money matter...
if in near future...j will get finanacial help from any other source...i am sure..he can go to any extent to destroy her life!!...calling her mentally not stable or even characterless!
wohi toh ,his extent of selfishness shocks me-how could he ask anandi to be thrown out,the same girl who saved his life...is he soo emotionally dead.Ermm.people are more caring even towards a pet-feel sad when they have to let go here he has lived 16 years with anandi and wants her thrown out ..horrible..Stern Smile..
and selfishness toh dekho ,when he neded money he has no qualms begging in front of her..--Its like he has only changed the dynamics of their relationship -not romantic anymore but expects everything else to be just the sameErmm-.hamara rishta badal gayaa but bapusa se meri recommendation karr do for money..as sumitra said jagya will always need anandi...Ermm


Edited by pjyo - 17 October 2011 at 7:09am

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doyelpakhi

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Posted: 17 October 2011 at 7:17am | IP Logged
And  he wasnt concerned about anandi's pain AT ALL-


That's exactly I say! He was not concerned about A at all.

As far as the divorce case is concerned - I agree with you
pjyo

At the same time  the lawyers have frightened him by saying that he will go to jail because as he not only has committed infidelity but he has fooled the court by his fake registry marriage.

So even if A files case, if the fake marriage comes out before court, there is high chance that court will punish him for fooling the court.

If J really needs to get divorce without being in jail, not only A but her lawyers have to discreet about JG relationship too ;)

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doyelpakhi

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Posted: 17 October 2011 at 7:50am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vasuja

Originally posted by doyelpakhi

@vasuja

J hid everything from G because he doesn't want G to get angry at him or create trouble in his relationship, NOT because he thinks G unworthy to learn about his life.

You can call J dishonest and coward that he can't even tell the truth to G for the fear of her reaction, but the fact remains he does everything to keep his relationship ummm, what shall I say, "stable" and does not want want any quarrel or bitterness in their relationship

But in case of A, he did not hid facts because he was concerned about A's pain - he was inflicting enough pain on her by his attitude ; he hid it from her because of the family.

So there is a vast difference in the way J treated A and G. Of course, he should not have done that - but it shows the importance J gives to A or G in his life.


i agree with u doyel. To hide the things and do inspite of knowing she will dislike it will not be a right thing to say. Many men hide illegal activities and extra marital affair from their wife: can it be said they do it to save the relationship. When one does a thing that is disliked to the core by their partner then it is called disrespect to their partner's love and trust... But i can agree it is not a big deal becoz Gauri is ok with it. Looks like till Jaggu stays by her side, share household responsibilty and do not have any contact with Anandi to her knowledge she is ok with him in hiding things...She can accept all jaggu deceit in name of love...I do agree J gives importance to G and that is by taking her tantrums and hiding things to balance the relationship, but is he truthfula and respects her feelings? I doubt it...J gives importance to G, but is it sacha pyaar i am not sure...Sacha pyaar basis is trust and sharing everything according to me. But standards of true love does vary from person to person. So may be J does have sacha pyaar for G, the same way he had for A and later fell out of love.



very true! J's running after A's car or midnight conversation with A were all done keeping G in dark  - at least J thought he has kept her in dark - but the main point is - were those really necessary? Wink specially when he knew that G will hate it!

Still - J has shown much more concern or importance to G than A. He has only shown importance to A when she has fulfilled his requirements! Ouch

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doyelpakhi

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Posted: 17 October 2011 at 10:53am | IP Logged
kya anmol sa ! sirf like karke chor dia ye post! no support for jaggu dada ! Big smile
 
since I have become the :"devil's advocate" in this post - I would like to state a few more points in favor of the devil ie. our Jaggu dada!
 
Even if we see it from the legal point of view, then government of India has allowed people to file for divorce withing two years of attaining adulthood. So by 20, one has to decide whether one wants to stay with childhood bride/ groom. Why is government of India giving two years time? Why not it's saying that one has to decide first whether to continue the marriage or not at 18? I am not any legal expert, but what as a layperson I can understand is that government is giving time to the couples to make the decision after knowing each other. After being legally adult, there is no problem if a couple stays together. So two years is enough to decide whether they can live together or not.
 
On the other hand, if we look at practically, couples, bound in child marriage, start staying together since the age of 14-15 which means that  even if one wants to nullify the child marriage, both parties get the time to know each other for some years.
 
By that logic, Jaggu dada has started staying with A at 18 and by 20 our Jaggu dada had decided that G is his choice. Even if we say that J has accepted the marriage done in childhood truth is A and J did not really know each other - J has changed a lot in his mentality which is very natural.
A has accpeted him as she could not even think of abandoning J but is it necessary that J has to accept her too even though there there is so little compatibility?
 
When the government is giving time to the couples to know each other before deciding, then what's the problem if J decided to terminate his relationship with A after having a relationship with her???
 
Personally, I think someone's real character comes out when he /she comes out of the shelter of parents and start dealing with the world on their own. It was then we become practical and know what we really want in life, what we can really do in life. That's why J, when started living in Mumbai independently, he became clear about his wishes and ambitions which again is very natural.


Edited by doyelpakhi - 17 October 2011 at 10:57am

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pjyo

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Posted: 17 October 2011 at 1:56pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by doyelpakhi

And  he wasnt concerned about anandi's pain AT ALL-


That's exactly I say! He was not concerned about A at all.

As far as the divorce case is concerned - I agree with you
pjyo

At the same time  the lawyers have frightened him by saying that he will go to jail because as he not only has committed infidelity but he has fooled the court by his fake registry marriage.

So even if A files case, if the fake marriage comes out before court, there is high chance that court will punish him for fooling the court.

If J really needs to get divorce without being in jail, not only A but her lawyers have to discreet about JG relationship too ;)
Exactly doyel,at that time he was concerned only about how to keep gauri in his life by hook or crook...he had already  used and thrown away anandi by then ,so why bother about her anymore..Stern Smile
And  why not go to jailWink he already has 1 small experience in jail yatraLOL,it would serve him right to be in solitary confinement for a while,no more legal illegal biwis to pamper him,no luxury ,enough free time to think how his lies have messed up people's lives..Stern Smile..
Winkbut knowing this manipulative guy he would turn even that to his advantageLOL --
He will tell gauri "i went to jail just to get legal status for you,so no more questioning me EVER  " ... As usual anandi will start feeling guiltyD'oh  because  jagya went to jail seeking divorce from her and she will  start recommending ,"Bapusa, forgive jagya,accept him back,he has suffered enough,he needs you all now".Silly.So family reconciliation followsSleepy with dadisa back to pampering ladesar and parpothaa too..Silly.
jail returned jaggu wouldn't return to mumbai but land in jetsar hospital ,Coolbossing over everybody in hospital while others work  plus living in haveli getting free ghar kaa khanaa too..LOL
life aaram se katt jayegi jaggu   ki..Silly



Edited by pjyo - 17 October 2011 at 1:56pm

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Posted: 17 October 2011 at 2:03pm | IP Logged
Great posts and topic!..I have a disagreement with the age of attaining majority for guys...in terms of marriage 18 is not the age for men to attain majority...it is 21 for men. for men who have gone through child marriage the  age to decide you want to change your partner is 21+2=23---not 18, not 21, not 20.
He had been spineless, ignoramus when it came to even a simple internet search of laws, he was insensitive and he lied and cheated--thats what makes him a culprit. But nothing takes away from him the fact that he had all the right in the world to make a choice of his life partner, even after having consummated the marriage at 18. People might say, what is the guarantee that men won't mature till 30/40/50...thats upoto those men ...but  majority guys just entering into 18s and 19s, are definitely not mature enough to know exactly who they want to live with. we should start marrying children in that case--because whats the point in delaying anything, when so many of them don't grow up till 40. An eighteen year old, even he sleeps with someone is definitely not grown up enough to know whether he wants to spend his life with that woman or not, no matter whether he matures later or not.

Same way..I know a lot of people..who go to different countries only to study...and decide thats where they want to live. Living at a place of your choice is really not a bad thing in my opinion. Why would social service be everyone's priority?? Why can't people like or dislike anything, unless there is something criminal attached to their likings??

As it was correctly mentioned earlier...Jagya is a culprit of cheating and insensitivity...but thats not what his family seems to really be angry with. They are only angry with the choices he made for himself...how could they never realize that it was their job to give him the freedom to make his choices---a freedom they never gave to him, ? I agree parents do a lot for their child...but how can they forget to give the child due freedom when required?? human parents make lot of  sacrifices!...Even birds do; she painstakingly builds a nest for her children...gets twigs for them...teaches her children how to fly...but when the right time come--she pushes the children out of the nest? If she didn't want them why would she do so much for her children-----because its time for the children to get out of shadows. Even birds understand the law of nature, umbilical cord can't be intact forever!...why can't hiumans understand it?? Parents make extra sacrifices for their children, so that one day their OWN dreams are realized through the children--how fair is that?? A life, a soul enters your home...don't snatch his freedom of life from that soul--by placing conditions on your taking care of him-----its like doing business with a little life even before he learns to understand what the parents business terms are all about!...If kids are selfish and manipulative...I will say parents who provide education to their children on the condition of fulfilling their own dreams-such parents too are selfish and manipulative in a way. When those parents get old and cant take care of themselves...children must unconditionally take care of them, but not based on how much the parents invested. love and taking care is unconditional among parents and children--there is no business.

I also agree that the way Jagya has a choice in terms of making his decisions--his father has an equal say in deciding what he wants to financially support him or not, while Jagya is a grown up adult. He is perfectly ok in his place in deciding that part. What is not ok is---forgetting where they went wrong with their own child--how can they completely acquit themselves from not giving ANY freedom of choice to their own son. Probably they went wrong because they didn't know any better given their situation...they never saw that freedom in their own life, but while realizing they took away the freedom of choice from Anandi...how come they never thought for once that they took it away from Jagya too?? Anandi is good , because she chose to suffer...Jagya is bad, because he chose to not suffer?? As per the elders of the Singh family--- Anandi serving memebers of the family...and Jagya staying silent about his choices, while carrying out their wishes would be the BEST THING !!...

I am not absolving Jagya from being a liar, cheat, ignorant and abusive at a point of time. But given everything--when he was 18..he consummated with Anandi...then went to medical college to fall in love with Gauri.   His change of heart at this point of time was his fundamental right, as a human and as a citizen. All the lying he did...I am against it...but I am completely not against his decisions--that he should have emphatically exercised, if he was sure of those. At the same time Singh family did wrong with Anandi...they have a right to deny Jagya all the family wealth...but forgetting what wrong they did with Jagya also, is not right...when they pass skewed judgments. They have all the right to condemn Jagya for his wrong doings, but at the same time conveniently ignoring their own approach of denying freedom to their own growing child, using emotional bargains---not fair!...




Edited by hima_123 - 17 October 2011 at 2:17pm

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