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I need your help, guys! (Page 2)

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Joined: 04 March 2009

Posts: 32111

Posted: 14 October 2011 at 11:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by K.Consciousness

Originally posted by havokhotline

Hey all. :)

I have to prepare a speech for three minutes. On any topic. And it has to be funny.
Can y'all think of any humorous topic about India?

Respected teachers and dear friends,

Today, I would like to talk about Langurs running rampant all over India. I would like to talk about those hundreds of thousands of naughty little rebellious monkeys wandering our streets unrestrained, all the while terrorizing men, women, children and the elderly. Yes, terrorizing grown men too! What a shame!

Why is their population on the rise? Where are these coming from? Why are they here? How come they didn't evolve into humans yet, even after eating our food and seeing us play cricket, watch TV and go to schools and offices? Is the evolution theory wrong? How come they are not cooperating with us like the Vanara sena did with Lord Ram in Ramayan? Was that just a myth?

It is one thing if they behave well like the rest of the animals (cows, goats, chickens, pigs, cats and dogs) roaming around on our streets. But they are not. They are trying to steal our food; they are trying to invade our schools and offices wreaking havoc and disrupting our work. OK, may be it is not such a big problem in the offices because they don't work that much anyway but it is still a nuisance in schools.

 Just the other day I have seen a movie called Planet of the Apes. I understand the anger amongst those apes for the cruelty heaped on them by humans in that movie. The humans in that movie had it coming to them. But what did we do to these bandars?

I get it. I think one of the main reasons why the monkey population in our cities is on the rise is because of deforestation. Most of the forests where these monkeys are supposed to live are being turned into human habitats because our own population is on the rise since, like, forever. So where are these poor creatures supposed to go?!

Another reason that I see as to why the wild life is moving out of forests is the ever increasing demand for wood and timber that is causing us to cut down trees in record numbers. If monkeys can't live on trees, taking to the roads is their only other option, is that not right?

I take this opportunity to appeal to one and all to please do everything you can to ensure that the monkeys and other wild life stay in the wild. Otherwise, don't go running to the government whenever a monkey bares it teeth at you or don't go complaining when a certain Danny Boyle makes a movie titled SlumMonkey Millionnaire about the monkeys gone wild in India.

Thank you.

LMAOLOL...Mr K...u r awesome...only u can write such a funny story and yet give such a powerful message in it...I wouldn't  ask the student to use it as her speech as that would be cheatingLOL but she can certainely take inspiration from this..

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Joined: 24 September 2007

Posts: 44239

Posted: 14 October 2011 at 2:25pm | IP Logged
Nice piece Mr K.LOL

Why are there no monkeys in China?
They eat them. They eat anything that moves except humans.
Should India do the same? India can never stoop so low.




Joined: 09 March 2010

Posts: 10715

Posted: 14 October 2011 at 4:49pm | IP Logged
I tell you the most happening topic in India right now (Based on Twitter)

Mayawati's Statutes Vs Rajiv Gandi's Chowk

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