If you luv- Divorce'/widow/widower will u

Hi Debators i thought of this topic as an offshoot of pre-marital sex . When some debators said that one can not get past previous relationships and settle and be happy in a new one (marriage).


If you fall in love with a widow/ widower / divorce' !! Will you be able to marry her/ him ????????? Or will you worry that this person

a) Isn't a virgin any more , therefore isn't good enough !

b)  will always think of his / her ex and will never ever get over him / her.Basically will remain emotionally crippled !

c)  During an intimacy will you be ridden with jealousy and think of how your husband/ wife was with her/ his ex ???????????????

I thought this discussion , ( has certain links to pre- marital sex) and will be interesting to think about these questions while on a seperate thread we debate about another topic !!

wow me first...like the other topic

well it all depends on whether u really love them or not. If you really love a person i dont think it matters that they were married before marrying you. yes they might think about their ex (especially if the r a widow/widower) but that wont lessen your love for them or their love for you. someone's past shouldn't scar their future. i dont see anything wrong in marrying a divorced or widowed person

Well if I fall in love with that person, I would not worry about anything but just go ahead with my feelings and marry him. In life you have to take chances otherwise how would you know what might have been.   If you want to live life to the fullest, one might consider that reality check is always there so make life what you want it to be not what life wants you to be

Certainly i would worry a lot abt this society.But later on i hope i will make up my mind to marry that person itself..

Aparna, with all three catogories.. divorcee,widow,widower they all have been "married" first and then sex was involved. So to me this is whole different angle. I have never been in similar situation nor have someone very close to me been there so it's hard for me to guess what would I do...my first reaction is I cannot fall in love with someone if I know before that he is widower or divorcee to be frank. However, if I do fall in love-

a) Isn't a virgin any more , therefore isn't good enough !
Well in this case they are not virgin, yes, but they were already married so it's different case. He had already comitted to somone before so that does not mean he is not good enough. Its his fate that he got lost is spouse or marriage didn't work out...probably in such case I would accept the person.

b) will always think of his / her ex and will never ever get over him / her.Basically will remain emotionally crippled !
Could be yes. It would be challenging for me to get over it. May be after some time I would accept the situation and get used to it.

c) During an intimacy will you be ridden with jealousy and think of how your husband/ wife was with her/ his ex ???????????????
Probably not. Past is past and over years we do tend to accept the situation..however human heart/brain wanders a lot so i can't tell you perfect yes/no but being jealous about dead wife is not correct and about divorced one not sure.

i wud marry

well said Sharlia...i think the same

i totally agree!if u luv dat person and dat person luvs u den dere shud b no probs!