I thought I'd pen a one shot story on my version of ashuthosh"s thoughts. While this could be a little ooc, its just a part of my imagination.
Do let me know how you all liked it...all comments are welcome :)
It had been years...yes...years since Ashutosh had felt any other emotion other than a sense of staggering grief. The loss of his father and the agony that came with it had made him abandon the world; he had built walls so high around himself that even if someone wanted they couldn't penetrate. He was committed to his profession, his hospital and his patients. His life revolved around that, and he made no attempts to make it otherwise. He had given up on his one love of music too. It just brought back toomany painful memories. Truly, he was a man living in a world that was disconnected from him in an emotional manner. Yet, over the last fortnight, he couldn't place the feeling, the vague sensation of unrest that he was experiencing. What was it? Why was he awaiting the next day ? why did it matter to him what decision a particular intern took ? Dr. Nidhi Verma, why was this name plaguing him ?
From their first meeting to their last, in the past two hours he had gone through them all a million times in his head. He had never pegged himself to be a man of details when it came to anything apart from work. But in the case of Nidhi Verma, he remembered the minutest details. Full of life, Nidhi embodied everything he wasn't now. Eyes brimming with mischief, she would flit across the hospital floors chatting up with the nurses and patients alike. In the two weeks that she had worked there, without a doubt she was the favourite intern at the hospital. Her calm demeanor with the kids, how she got them to listen to her, how she enthralled them with her fascinating stories and vivid images struck a chord with him. It reminded him of his father, and how the old man would paint images during his childhood just to get ashutosh interested. Was this why he was drawn to her? why did she feel so familiar ? What was it about her that got him to be off guard ?
Ashutosh had earned the name "hard stone" for a reason. Not in all the time since he ran this hospital had any intern dared to toe a line with him. But not her, she had a mind of her own... he smiled to himself as he recollected the sight of her hunched over his table, wearing his coat, rummaging his desk. The childish enthusiasm with which she tried to worm her way out of it had filled him with a weird kind of warmth. He had been astonished with the feeling then too, and had made a mental note to distance himself from her. Well, that had just ended in disaster. He still couldn't believe that he had literally threatened her with a murder charge. One part of him knew why he reacted in this manner, he wanted to shield her'shield her from the grief of having to lose a patient so early in her career. But another part of him chided him for picking the manner in which he chose to show it. Nothing justified making her cry. She had sobbed infront of him, and what had he done'. Aggravate the situation further by his biting speech. Post the outburst, all he wanted to do was go console her, tell her that the kid would be alright and that he had her back. His hyper rational self was questioning him though, why did he have her back ? why did he want to protect her ? he was waging a battle with his inner self and the rationality won. Heading home, ashutosh knew that the night would be a long one. He wasn't alien to long nights, but this time the feeling associated with it was different. Racing to the hospital the next morning, he was mentally rehearsing what he'd say to her. The sight that greeted him there completely wiped his mind of all other thoughts. Lying on shahenshah's bed, there she was, tousled hair, a slightly swollen face, sleeping unaware of his presence. She was the epitome of angelic beauty and he didn't want to do anything disturb it. She stirred lightly after a few minutes, and he controlled the urge to remove the errant strands of hair off her face. Softly he told her to meet him in his office. As she left, he noticed the earrings, he picked them up gingerly and put it in his pocket...not particularly attaching any significance to his action but constantly aware of their presence on him. She entered his room, the effects of the previous night evident in her tired face...he felt a pang in his heart...something that was amplified when she refused to sit. Unable to resist, he voiced his thought..'Aap gussa hain mujhese ?' Her startled face, pause and reply made him realize he was clutching the arms of the chair...only to release it when she answered in the negative.
'Haq'... one word that had made him even more restless...did he really have any claim on her ? He understood ofcourse that she probably meant a professional claim as he was her boss...but his head swirling with thoughts and emotions were thinking of different possibilities.
He looked at his clock, four hours since mallika had left him...four hours since he was contemplating his internal turmoil...four hours since he was trying to reject his theories and miserably losing...four hours since he was thinking about nidhi...he hadn't received any answer to his behaviour..he was as clueless as he was four hours ago...the unnamed emotion puzzling him as well as calming him at the same time..treasure...that's what her name meant...a treasure he knew he didn't want to give up..why...he didn't know..but he couldn't...
He glanced at the clock again and sighed...though daybreak was almost there...there was a long while before he'd know what she had decided...
Four hours gone, four left dr.ashutosh...maybe tomorrow would bring more answers...he'd know more tomorrow...a new day..a new beginning ? Only time would tell...
Edited by Priya_128 - 13 October 2011 at 7:53am