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Loosing Virginity Before Marriage-DOTW (Page 8)

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Willows

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Willows

Joined: 26 December 2005

Posts: 456

Posted: 02 February 2006 at 11:18pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by sam_84

God prohibited sex outside/before marriage as a blessing and not as a burden.

its equal for both sexes.

we can see the results such as AIDS and abortion,
lust replacing love, one-sided love, cheating and hence heart breaks, jealousy ,suicides, rapes, murders.

I agree that its not always bcuz of pre-marital sex but its playing a heavy role. its not fiction but truth...just watch crime reports on news channels!!

wht will you do if the person just fulfills his/her desires and leaves you as there wont be any commitments as in marriage bond.

if someone can do with you, he/she can do with some else too.

as a God-fearing person, i'll wait until marriage and can never say pre-marital sex is OK.

Very well said Clap it is resisting the temptation which is an achievement, justifying gratification is an indicator of the guilt.

Yes indeed god has blessed human beings with an option to make choices, and the burden is a perception and should not be used as garb.

Commitment is important or else, even the people in flesh trade do this routine, atleast with an objective of supporting one's lives.

Yes indeed it is the values which makes us god fearing and these are the values which guides us  to the right direction and having pre martial sex is something which was always looked down, the very fact that it is being debated is reminder that pre martial sex is a no no. 

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Goldie

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Posted: 02 February 2006 at 11:21pm | IP Logged
[ Does sanctity of marriage only allow you to love freely ?? Thats not right .
[/QUOTE]




Aparna, i accept the quotes to some extent  which are highlighted...A person can love another person with full heart before marriage but when we come to sex it is not so.At the outset they know that it is not correct and hence the guilt.A girl who had an affair is always looked down upon and she has to always carry the stigma of being illegal .She will think abt her future and starts thinking whether that guy will marry her or not...later on it will add some insecurity feeling to her.This is something which can be avoided if temptations are reduced.

After all a person with broken marriage is accepted by public since it is not his fault.
Ofcourse we the society pity them and some people use it as an opputunity to put them down.



Edited by kavith_2305 - 02 February 2006 at 11:23pm

Willows

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Willows

Joined: 26 December 2005

Posts: 456

Posted: 02 February 2006 at 11:32pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by lalit1

i am also one of those who believes that premarital sex is wrong so will never indulge in it because of my conservative values but who am i to judge anyone else if he/she does

but yes having come from a very elitist delhi background
where premarital sex happens as young as in college /high school (i mean i had school friends guys and gals who had indulged in it )i feel that there are many who indulge in it just to be cool (esp teenaged boys/girls ) without taking care of consequences
that is the kind of premarital sex i would not advocate

but if a person whos successful in his /her career and wants to indulge in casual or long term relationship without any commitment to satisfy bodily needs i wouldnt say thats wrong

bottomline is that u r responsible for your own deeds
i have chosen not to indulge in it its my choice

someone else may choose otherwise i must respect that
having said that i hate it when ppl (esp girls) say that i thot he loved me so i did it and now he doesnt love me
u urself are responsible for your behaviour nobody else

end point: a person shud make his choice and be responsible for it
i was always labelled as conservative or backward in the school that i was but i didnt feel ackward bcos it was my choice to stay away from it

Exactly, judgment is something which is better administered by the all pervasive almighty god, we human beings are just his creatures with various desires and strengths and the values help to enhance the right strengths and controls desires.

 

I am a firm believer that it is what we stand for, is the identity for oneself and dignity is something which is compromised on most of the occasions, when pre martial sex is a norm.

 

Yes indeed as the word goes, deeds are something done by oneself and hence the consequences cannot be someone else's.

 

Well I would prefer to be called conservative then to indulge in something which is against what I was taught when I was pure and away from all the evils of the world.

Willows

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Willows

Joined: 26 December 2005

Posts: 456

Posted: 02 February 2006 at 11:39pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by sowmyaa

I would personally feel about keeping virginity until marriage. I don't want society to follow the same norms though... I think virginity is the greatest gift you can give to your partner be it husband/wife. Probably people in west are pretty much casual about dating and loosing verginity that for their spouse it's not a big deal if they have lost their virginity before. However in Indian marriage if your spouse comes to know after wedding that you have already lost ur virginity before marriage it could affect your married life. Also, let me ask you this question...those of you who think that it's ok to loose virginity before marriage...and say if you did loose ur virginity before marriage and don't end up with that person will you tell your husband/wife to be before marriage that you had slept with someone? To be frank someof you may, I probably would not. 'coz in India loosing your virginity is still a sin and you cannot escape from that truth. Yes, my openion may be different but I am "scared" to loose my virginity because of society and even though I feel like expressing my boyfriend my physical love I probbly would not due to that fear. I also believe that no matter how old are you you should know how to "control" your lust. For me sex without commitment for lifetime does not mean much its an empty feeling. For me physical intimacy is related to emotionl, spiritual and commitment for lifetime. I would probably break down if I end indulge in physical relashionship and then no wedding bond. It takes years to creat that bond and to me marriage is very sacred and holly thing and so is loosing one's virginity. Specially for indian girls who are very sensitive with love when thery love someone they are really involved ...i would personally think if you get involved in a relashionship it gets harder for you to cut urself once it breaks, and if that relashionsiop had sex involved I think it would be hard to give same love and lust to your future husband specially for indian girls. Bottom line, I would not be able to accept my husband if I knew that he had lost his virginity before marriage. I think being physical is most intimate thing ..once you get one soul to soul then you can be comfy going physical with someone so if you already lost ur virginity i would be doubtful if he could really love me that much again and probably it would creat drift in relashionshiop later on. however, if you end up with that person its perfect but life is box of chocolates you dont know what you'll get next.

you said it sowmyaa, i envy you for the choice of words,very well writtenClap.Indeed what you can give to oneself and other as you enter into a proposed long lasting relationship is a gift and if you loose this most precious gift then i would believe such a person is a pauper.

tanushree

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tanushree

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Posted: 03 February 2006 at 3:58am | IP Logged
As long as the individual is mature and responsible and its an act of love its just fine.

hazelgirl

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hazelgirl

Joined: 25 June 2005

Posts: 5747

Posted: 03 February 2006 at 4:00am | IP Logged
well said soumyaa Clap

well...i have no problem in accepting my partner if he has already lost his virginity but for me i wud prefer being a virgin till marriage.

and as far loosing ones virginity..if that person is matured enough to take on responsibilities ahead thenn..ur welcome Tongue

mist

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mist

Joined: 26 December 2005

Posts: 156

Posted: 03 February 2006 at 4:41am | IP Logged

The previous responses especially of sowmya and willows and dolly re instate what someone else said earlier. This topic is no longer a debate and is now a clash of ideologies. It is like debating which religion is the best. So finally let me too post my personal view.


Originally posted by Willows

Originally posted by sowmyaa

so if you already lost ur virginity i would be doubtful if he could really love me that much again and probably it would creat drift in relashionshiop later on.

Indeed what you can give to oneself and other as you enter into a proposed long lasting relationship is a gift and if you loose this most precious gift then i would believe such a person is a pauper.

I disagree. When I enter a relationship the thing I would hold most sacred is the promise of acceptance and respect and love and emotional security. Previous liaisons dont matter to me. I dont believe my partner will never feel any attraction  to another beautiful woman but neither do I  labour under the fear that I will never measure up to his previous interests. But I respect and appreciate all views against the motion.

Willows

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Willows

Joined: 26 December 2005

Posts: 456

Posted: 03 February 2006 at 4:50am | IP Logged
Originally posted by mist

The previous responses especially of sowmya and willows and dolly re instate what someone else said earlier. This topic is no longer a debate and is now a clash of ideologies. It is like debating which religion is the best. So finally let me too post my personal view.


Originally posted by Willows

Originally posted by sowmyaa

so if you already lost ur virginity i would be doubtful if he could really love me that much again and probably it would creat drift in relashionshiop later on.

Indeed what you can give to oneself and other as you enter into a proposed long lasting relationship is a gift and if you loose this most precious gift then i would believe such a person is a pauper.

I disagree. When I enter a relationship the thing I would hold most sacred is the promise of acceptance and respect and love and emotional security. Previous liaisons dont matter to me. I dont believe my partner will never feel any attraction  to another beautiful woman but neither do I  labour under the fear that I will never measure up to his previous interests. But I respect and appreciate all views against the motion.

Dear Mist;

I appreciate your views, please be assured, i would be the last person to make it a religious issue or clash of ego, for i have none, further you would observe, i have replied to the post only today, further what i wrote was my personal experience regarding the gift, though i welcome your disagreement, i always believe all human beings are special and different and they cannot be same in any manner unless they are twins.

I still believe when you marry there has to something that you offers to each other and that most important thing is trust, and it is presumed in the marriage that both the sides are virgin and hence the best possible gift for each side is this trust and i believe one who has no trust is indeed a pauper, for me the most valueable thing is the values.

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