Debate Mansion

   

Loosing Virginity Before Marriage-DOTW (Page 2)

Post Reply New Post

Page 2 of 9

Page 1
Page   of 9
Page 3 Page 9

*dolly*

IF-Sizzlerz

*dolly*

Joined: 22 January 2005

Posts: 13664

Posted: 27 January 2006 at 12:07pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by Aparna_BD

Originally posted by dolly

Deciding to have sex is a big step for anyone, whether they are a virgin or not, and the risks of disease and pregnancy are very real. Women CAN get pregnant when they have sex for the first time.Not only should you worry about getting pregnant, there is also the possibly of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.
having said that just be a cautious adult and practise safe sex.I beleive this topic is for both sexes, i mean losing virginity in both cases.

Sex before marriage doesn't concern me one way or another. I feel if you feel its right than don't deny it. On the other hand I don't think that it should happen before the age of 18 years old.Although i say after college would be better. I feel as though with today's tempting offers for sex, it is hard for younger children to turn it down. A whole lot of children from ages as early as 10 to ages 17 are loosing their virginity in all the wrong ways. It could be loosing it from an unwanted force or just from bad choices, one way or another the younger kids today are a lot more likely to loose their virginity before marriage.
My opinion is that one should only have sex when they are ready.

'Ready' means when they are mature enough to do so. This could mean that they could be married, but in todays society where marriage is withheld alot longer, I think it is much more understandable that sex should occur once both people have finished their studies (obtained their degrees), have landed themselves full time jobs and are capable enough to take care of themselves.

I think sex at a young age or teenage sex is wrong. Because in reality the girl will be the one loosing out. The guy can easily leave, the girl will have/terminate the baby, the guy will have no emotional or physical loss, the girl can suffer depression, the guy can easily find another girl.




*A young mind is a wondrous thing, and can as just easily be persuaded in the wrong direction as it could be in the right direction. *


I agree with you 100%  !!  especially what i underlined..

Also reiterating people , (including women) in our society are marrying late . (many of my friends and Cousins married in late 20's ). They are working women and chose to delay marriage . A woman then is certainly 100% ready and if she chooses to have a lover or sleep with her fiance, boyfriend .........then who are we to pass judgements??Tongue

I agree with u aparna, on this.I too got married when I was almost 27, because that was the age I was ready and settled, with a job and my education.Tongue

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "Loosing Virginity Before Marriage-DOTW (Page 2)" in Debate Mansion forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

sameer.84

IF-Sizzlerz

sameer.84

Joined: 10 May 2005

Posts: 10000

Posted: 27 January 2006 at 4:02pm | IP Logged
God prohibited sex outside/before marriage as a blessing and not as a burden.

its equal for both sexes.

we can see the results such as AIDS and abortion,
lust replacing love, one-sided love, cheating and hence heart breaks, jealousy ,suicides, rapes, murders.

I agree that its not always bcuz of pre-marital sex but its playing a heavy role. its not fiction but truth...just watch crime reports on news channels!!

wht will you do if the person just fulfills his/her desires and leaves you as there wont be any commitments as in marriage bond.

if someone can do with you, he/she can do with some else too.

as a God-fearing person, i'll wait until marriage and can never say pre-marital sex is OK.

mkzara

Goldie

mkzara

Joined: 29 October 2005

Posts: 1818

Posted: 27 January 2006 at 5:13pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by sam_84

God prohibited sex outside/before marriage as a blessing and not as a burden.

its equal for both sexes.

we can see the results such as AIDS and abortion,
lust replacing love, one-sided love, cheating and hence heart breaks, jealousy ,suicides, rapes, murders.


I agree that its not always bcuz of pre-marital sex but its playing a heavy role. its not fiction but truth...just watch crime reports on news channels!!

wht will you do if the person just fulfills his/her desires and leaves you as there wont be any commitments as in marriage bond.

if someone can do with you, he/she can do with some else too.

as a God-fearing person, i'll wait until marriage and can never say pre-marital sex is OK.

well marriage isn't really a commitment because the divorce rates r so high these years so u cant say that someone who is married to u wont leave u. i also feel that if for someone sex is so important that they r likely to commit suicide and stuff then they should their partners sensibly. that should always be the case people should practice safe and responsible sex. for me i feel that yeah personally i dont believe in sex before/outside of marriage but i dont have a right to make anyone else follow my morals. i mean if two other people feel that they are ready and consciously make a decision then who r we to judge. i mean what someone else does is their own business in this world and the one after it. i really just feel that in our culture women have it harder as Aparna Di said. (i hope u dont mind because a lot of people have a problem being called older but i am assuming u r older than me cause u said u were married and stuff and if u mind or u rnt older than i am sorry) we have to deal with a lot more crap while guys have it so freaking easy. i mean if it is wrong for one gender than it is wrong for the other. our culture is on a whole more repressive towards women and thats a fact. even if it waas equal i just feel we dont have a right to tell other what to do.



Edited by mkzara - 27 January 2006 at 5:15pm

Aparna_BD

IF-Dazzler

Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005

Posts: 4926

Posted: 27 January 2006 at 6:15pm | IP Logged
No Zara i don't mind being called di !! Ya and i am older , but its your choice if you want to call me Di or by my nameSmile .( I think you were telling that to me in the bracket ....right ?)

Sam_84 said "God prohibited sex outside/before marriage as a blessing and not as a burden.

its equal for both sexes.

I agree that its not always bcuz of pre-marital sex but its playing a heavy role. its not fiction but truth...just watch crime reports on news channels!! "



Sam - sex is a personal choice for every one and we should be making judgments on them . When we refer to GOD in general we often refer to the books written and recorded by Man . Example Quran was recorded years post Prophets death(source:Asra Q.Nomani ....a Muslim scholar)  and so was Bible after Jesus's death ....same goes for Ramayan and Geeta , except for Guru Granth (one of the few that was recorded ditectly by the Guru). So i don't personally believe in following a book blindly .....but i like to use it as a Spirtual guide for growth( Not meaning to offend anyone .....but these are my views on religon) .
I know these Holy books were written centuries ago by people who could NOT envision what will happen to the world centuries later.Then people married very young , infact before puberty . In these times ..........people marry as late as 30's . What should they do about their sexuality at 30 ............deny it due to fear of what the religon says ???

Sam said "we can see the results such as AIDS and abortion,
lust replacing love, one-sided love, cheating and hence heart breaks, jealousy ,suicides, rapes, murders."

AIDS as you may know doesn't just spread through sex but through infected sources too ,the Stats show in India ,maximum abortions are by married women ,Whats wrong with lust ? ,one sided love - In Arranged marriages there is often sex initially without any love from both sides ,cheating is a problem married / unmarried....infact more married desparate people cheat, jealousy ....huh what???? , suicides - there are suicides because pre marital sex is taboo ..........if it wasn't ,woman won't feel the neccesity to commit suicide , rapes - have you heard of rape within marriage ? and we over here are talking about 2 consenting adults having sex .......so where does rape come in . Murder - there is equal amount of incidences of murder in a marriage eg: famous Peterson case & the  Black basket ball player , And the host of India's most wanted etc.

Sam said "wht will you do if the person just fulfills his/her desires and leaves you as there wont be any commitments as in marriage bond."

Sam we are talking about consenting adults who know the consequesnces and aren't teanagers who are naive .A boyfriend is as likely to break his promise as a much a married man . And two people having sex don't neccesarily want a commitment but a relationship . When an adult has urges at 20's and 30's and isn't married ....its but normal .

Sam said "if someone can do with you, he/she can do with some else too."

Sam that is a statement with no basis. It has no meaning and i won't bother defending this .

Rest is upto you if you are a Virgin , non - Virgin and want to stay a Virgin . Its just a freaking tissue for a woman for gods sakes.  Why hype about it so much .

Another thing i remember about school in my time was , there were three types of girls - the prudes ,the hypocrites and lastly "whats the big deal " girls.
As you may know i always fit in to the latter most . As for what are the hypocrites . Very fascinating breed . They would pretend they were as pure as Ganges while having a boyfriend - but would remove their shirt , allow petting and some other stuff ..............but they would preserve their tissue .
The prudes were the actual virgins like the Madona song " like a virgin" for their wedding night !!Smile


Edited by Aparna_BD - 27 January 2006 at 7:04pm

sameer.84

IF-Sizzlerz

sameer.84

Joined: 10 May 2005

Posts: 10000

Posted: 27 January 2006 at 10:19pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by mkzara

mkzara: i mean if two other people feel that they are ready and consciously make a decision then who r we to judge. i mean what someone else does is their own business in this world and the one after it.

sam: its a public forum and i just gave my views

mkzara:we have to deal with a lot more crap while guys have it so freaking easy. i mean if it is wrong for one gender than it is wrong for the other.

sam: that wht i told that the principles needs to be equal for both.

sameer.84

IF-Sizzlerz

sameer.84

Joined: 10 May 2005

Posts: 10000

Posted: 27 January 2006 at 10:19pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by Aparna_BD

 

aparna:  Example Quran was recorded years post Prophets death(source:Asra Q.Nomani ....a Muslim scholar) 

sam: its false as many ppl used to recite it completely once a month in prophet's time. no dearth of false self-styled scholars in these times!!! i wont go any further here.

aparna: AIDS as you may know doesn't just spread through sex but through infected sources too ,the Stats show in India ,maximum abortions are by married women ,Whats wrong with lust ? ,one sided love - In Arranged marriages there is often sex initially without any love from both sides ,cheating is a problem married / unmarried....infact more married desparate people cheat, jealousy ....huh what???? , suicides - there are suicides because pre marital sex is taboo ..........if it wasn't ,woman won't feel the neccesity to commit suicide , rapes - have you heard of rape within marriage ? and we over here are talking about 2 consenting adults having sex .......so where does rape come in . Murder - there is equal amount of incidences of murder in a marriage eg: famous Peterson case & the  Black basket ball player , And the host of India's most wanted etc.

sam: i already told that the premarital sex is not the only reason for crimes BUT its one of the major reasons today.

we are talking bout society as a whole. if sex between consulting adults becomes lawful, wht will the desperate ppl do if they dont get the consent of the other???........sexual abusement and rape!! isnt it?

u have to look at the negative side of premarital relationship too...

lalit1

IF-Dazzler

lalit1

Joined: 28 November 2004

Posts: 4904

Posted: 27 January 2006 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
i am also one of those who believes that premarital sex is wrong so will never indulge in it because of my conservative values but who am i to judge anyone else if he/she does

but yes having come from a very elitist delhi background
where premarital sex happens as young as in college /high school (i mean i had school friends guys and gals who had indulged in it )i feel that there are many who indulge in it just to be cool (esp teenaged boys/girls ) without taking care of consequences
that is the kind of premarital sex i would not advocate

but if a person whos successful in his /her career and wants to indulge in casual or long term relationship without any commitment to satisfy bodily needs i wouldnt say thats wrong

bottomline is that u r responsible for your own deeds
i have chosen not to indulge in it its my choice

someone else may choose otherwise i must respect that
having said that i hate it when ppl (esp girls) say that i thot he loved me so i did it and now he doesnt love me
u urself are responsible for your behaviour nobody else

end point: a person shud make his choice and be responsible for it
i was always labelled as conservative or backward in the school that i was but i didnt feel ackward bcos it was my choice to stay away from it


Aparna_BD

IF-Dazzler

Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005

Posts: 4926

Posted: 28 January 2006 at 2:03am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sam_84

Originally posted by Aparna_BD

 

aparna:  Example Quran was recorded years post Prophets death(source:Asra Q.Nomani ....a Muslim scholar) 

sam: its false as many ppl used to recite it completely once a month in prophet's time. no dearth of false self-styled scholars in these times!!! i wont go any further here.

aparna: AIDS as you may know doesn't just spread through sex but through infected sources too ,the Stats show in India ,maximum abortions are by married women ,Whats wrong with lust ? ,one sided love - In Arranged marriages there is often sex initially without any love from both sides ,cheating is a problem married / unmarried....infact more married desparate people cheat, jealousy ....huh what???? , suicides - there are suicides because pre marital sex is taboo ..........if it wasn't ,woman won't feel the neccesity to commit suicide , rapes - have you heard of rape within marriage ? and we over here are talking about 2 consenting adults having sex .......so where does rape come in . Murder - there is equal amount of incidences of murder in a marriage eg: famous Peterson case & the  Black basket ball player , And the host of India's most wanted etc.

sam: i already told that the premarital sex is not the only reason for crimes BUT its one of the major reasons today.

we are talking bout society as a whole. if sex between consulting adults becomes lawful, wht will the desperate ppl do if they dont get the consent of the other???........sexual abusement and rape!! isnt it?

u have to look at the negative side of premarital relationship too...



Sam as for Asra Nomani a scholar , i don't want to comment on anything you said since you obviously don't know who she is .Briefly she is a writer for Wall Street Journnal , Washington Post , New York Times ,Time mag....she covered the Afghanistan war for CNN . Worked for BBC , PBS , NPR . ..............if you still think she is self styled ......*shrugs*....i suppose then i can't argue with that .Tongue

As for your comment that premarital sex had lead to too many crimes ......please lead us through articles to these famous crimes and some statistics to show that most crimes happen because of that .

As for desperate people ..........they will continue raping ............i don't see what that has to do with consenting adults .

Rest i can say most children when they reach adult hood change their mind about many many many things , You may too when you reach my age . I am 31 , when i was in 20's . I saw people around me ( friends, cousins) all loosing their virginity to their boyfriends , girl friends.....................these are happily married men/women , with families .

In introspection i personally i saw no one scarred by it !!!!! And no crime ...that you have indicated about that was commited . Lastly , i think it will be a bit fair if you discuss what an adult should do not do once you reach adult hood or are a step away from adult hood . I don't want to continue a discussion considering you are barely 13 mate and i am 31 !!Embarrassed

BTW , pre - marital sex isn't unlawfull like you mentioned in my India(unlike some Countries). Just taboo !!




Edited by Aparna_BD - 28 January 2006 at 1:57pm

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
love marriage vs arrange marriage mspari 3 4105 16 October 2008 at 10:19pm
By Huduga
Arranged marriage or love marriage uk-girl 3 2306 31 July 2008 at 1:28am
By Anuradha
Love marriage VS Arrange marriage The_Other_Woman 4 2340 16 February 2008 at 5:57am
By raj5000
b4 marriage something and after marriage!

2 3 4

eijaz_anita4eva 27 2787 20 April 2006 at 7:04pm
By Munise
Love marriage Vs Arrange marriage sarab 9 2116 30 December 2005 at 8:27pm
By mad_cap

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Debate Mansion Topic Index

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.