Joined: 25 May 2005
Joined: 21 October 2010
Mera adhura jeevan, uski adhuri kahaani
meri adhuri kavita, mere adhurepan ki nishaani
adhkhuli aankho ke adhure sapne,
adhuri khwahishe adhuri chaahate
adhuri chhitij ko uljhaati adhuri dishaaye,
gujare haalat se uljhaa mera adhura kal
adhure sooraj sa Roshan mera adhura bhavishya,
adhure aaj mein dhoondhata ek adhuri muskaan suhaani
adhure rishto ki adhuri si khushiya,
adhure se log adhure se hum
maut ki mohabbat bhi hai adhuri,
zindagi se yehi ek shikaayat hai puraani
duniya mein kitne aise adhure jeevan,
har jeevan ki aisi kitni adhuri kahani
usme meri bhi ek adhuri kavita,
usme meri bhi ek adhuri kahaani
He made every bit of my nervousness fly away in one second...I was dumbfounded but happy. He didn't want it either! Finally taking in a big breath as if taking out all the worry...He continued to speak in his deep stern voice "I can't do this; you already know that I loved someone before, I gave her my heart, and I never got it back. I can never love anybody the way I loved her, this marriage was only for my family'And I know you also got married to me for your family too'the entire arrangement is just ridiculous" His head turned slightly in my direction but still no eye contact he stared at the window ahead. I could sense irritation and a bit of anger in his voice as he said "Sorry, but this 'thing' that's expected to happen between us will never happen" that was harsh, he got up abruptly and headed toward the huge window ahead.
?As much as his tone scared me a bit, I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe that everything worked out. Thanks to my Bappa [ganpati bappa- am sure Sikh worship him aswell..if am wrong i sicerly apologise..do correct me...] what I don't want won't happen. I knew Bappa would never hurt me. But the family'what about our families?'I spoke out "Ek minute" he stopped in his trail, slightly turning his head turned his head in my direction to show that he was listening. I got up, off the bed "What's next?" I was sure I confused him now, because he turned himself to face me and his expression was that of annoyance and confusion, he creased his forehead, and stared at me.. "Uh'I mean, well you know according to everyone we're married'.whatever happens or doesn't happen in here they will never know, but once we leave these four walls, through those doors there is two families we need to face' yours and mine'" His crease suddenly disappeared. It seemed as though he was in deep thoughts now...he stood silent so I continued to speak "like you said, neither of us care about this relationship, neither of our hearts wants this relationship, it was all only so we don't break the hearts of two families so we broke our own instead" He seemed surprised by my talks, I guess he must've also thought that I might be thinking now that we're married we have to adapt'nope'I don't think so'I can't just give myself to any guy like that, there has to be meaning to every feeling, every touch and that sure won't happen with us...my heart sank as I thought more about this, would this mean I would never be able to feel what it's like to be with the one you love...to love someone...or to be loved... because this is it...my life has been chosen with a man I don't love...
He looked at me then turned away slightly and nodded. His voice spoke again this time, it sounded more as if he was thinking about something...little hesitant...while speaking' "We'll just have to act.." what did he say we'll act? .. "Kya? We'll act?" uh that would be awkward.. he spoke in a annoyed sarcastic tone "does it look like we have any other option? It would only be around them, and most of the day I'll be at work and you'll have your own things to focus on, we won't have to be around them often, it would only be for like eating and gatherings we would have to act and that too won't be too complicated'put on a fake smile, that should do it and stand near each other which looks like we can do that too'" he sounded very demanding and quite agitated, he turned toward the window again. Was I thinking too much about this? But I had to know what to do'they would know that something was wrong if I never even looked at him outside of this room.
Ok so all this would mean is that I just need to bring him his chai every morning, and serve him food...ok that's not too bad. There's few to fool, I can do it...no problem. But how about in these four walls' I definitely can't go out of this room to do anything then everyone would know we are not living as one. I needed to ask him' "Uh'.voh'.umm" He turned his head towards me and sighed and in his annoyed tone said "bol" so I did .. "Well how about this room? How will this work 'er'what I'm trying to say is '.uh'.how will we share the room? I do have to stay in here if we want to make it believable, whether we like it or not" He stared at me for a while then turned behind him, he made his way over to the closet, opened it and pushed all his stuff to one side then turned to me and spoke "that settles the clothes'.your welcome to also use the dressing table,? and as for the bathroom, I will clear my stuff to one side and you can put your stuff there too'that should cover it" his voice was calmer yet still stern. He headed back towards that spot again'geez I don't see why he keeps going over there it's just a window. But there was one more thing I had to ask "Wait one more question'sorry'thanks for doing all that so quickly but where do I sleep?" he was quick to turn around to face me, he stared ahead at the bed behind me, I guess he didn't get that far yet. "I could sleep on that couch over there" I don't really care where I slept, but I think he did, he looked at the couch and cringed at the thought of it, his expression was that of disapproval and then he spoke calmly, it even surprised me "No, that couch is not meant for sleeping on, it would be way to uncomfortable, it's a hard sofa, I can't make you sleep there". Well where am I supposed to sleep? ' "Well you know to be honest I'd rather that couch then the floor" He gave me irritated look and spoke sternly again "Floor? Who said anything about the floor? I have an idea for this too'wait" Was he blind, that's what I was doing standing here waiting, waiting for a reply, a place to sleep! He walked towards his closet; he opened the closet door and rummaged through it for a while then pulled a bag out, he grabbed some other things too, I'm not sure what, looked like tools? I don't know. He turned towards me and headed my way. He stared at me and gestured me to get out of the way. I didn't know what he was up to and I didn't really care, I just needed a simple answer where am I supposed to sleep? But no of course he couldn't answer that right. I headed to what I think is his most favourite spot in this room, the window. There was a lot of tearing and ripping, maybe cutting noises, I couldn't tell what he was doing so I decided to check out what was so amusing with this window. I went closer to it. It was amazing. The view'of the city lights at night, and this window led to a balcony, a small one but beautiful, it had lots of small trees growing in pots and a small, it also had a hanging chair, it was semi bubble shaped, I wanted to go out and swing on it, it seemed quite peaceful out there. Now I see why he kept coming over here. Standing here, just looking into the dark sky filled with the light from the moon, the view of the rest of the city and the environment of that balcony'WOW.
Suddenly I heard him clear his throat. I turned around to see what he had been working on, and god what I saw shocked me'I definitely did not expect that, my jaws dropped. I quickly regained composure and said "Arjun.yeh...yeh aapne kya kiya" I stared ahead as he turned to look behind him at what he did. This meant that we were sharing the bed? Bappa mujhe bachao!. My shock must've been visible since he turned back towards me and replied to the questions in my head "Um'yeah you sleep this side and I'll sleep that side, there's nothing complicated about it'I created this for the divide and for your comfort..." his voice was cold and he walked right passed me opening the window and climbed through to the balcony'I can't believe he just did that. But it brought the entire look of that bed together. I guess with the garlands all around and the pink petals on the bed, the white netted curtain, he added, down the middle just added to it. Did he really think that curtain would make a big difference? Well...I guess its better than nothing. I turned back to look at Arjun, he sat in that hanging swing. He looked disappointed, maybe angry, he just seemed off, one thing's for sure, he clearly is not one bit interested in this marriage, and that was a good thing right... He was deep in some thoughts, I couldn't tell about what but with his expressions they did not seem like happy ones. After this long dreadful day all I could do is think of getting into that bed and sleeping. I was soo tired so that's exactly what I did...
Duniya ke har ek shouk to pala nahi jata
Sheeshe ke khilono ko uchhala nahi jata
Aasaan hai basa lena dil me har kisi ko
Par har kisi ko dil se nikala nahi jata...
In another room, we see a women frantically wondering about here and there, just then a guy walks in calling "Mum..Maa" [Sarita] and she turns towards the door and says "Are Romit waha kyun khara hai...aaja yahan...mere paas". While walking towards her, Romit saw his mother look like a nervous wreck and questions her "Maa kya hua? You haven't slept yet...koi problem hai kya? Aap itni pareshaan kyun lagrahi hein?? Apko toh khushi hona chahiye na...Aaj bro ki shaadi hui hai.." ..he adds with a hint of excitement in his voice. Sarita is looking worriedly at Romit who is standing staring at her, waiting for her reply. "Haan, I was just thinking about Arjun "
Romit: "Bro...lekin kyun...Bro toh abh bilkul teek hojayega...ekdum jhakkaas. Bilkul pehle ki tarah, mum aap chinta mat karo, everything should be fine in a few days"
Sarita: " I'm scared, you know how much he loved Gauri" Sarita's voice trembles as she continues "his love for her reached beyond the moon, and when she left his life, it wrecked him" she sounded as if ready to cry... " Getting him married, I was hoping he would change, hoping that he will come back as my loving, happy son" Sarita covers her mouth with her pallu as she is on the verge of breaking down.
Romit: "We'll get him back maa, don't worry, I trust this marriage and Arohi's influence can bring him back to us once again..."
Sarita: "I don't I know, Arohi must've only agreed to this because of her mother. Amrit is my best friend and she would never say no to me and Arohi...well she is just like her mother, she also can never say no to elders. I know she didn't want to get married now too. I paid for her to study and become a big lawyer one day and I myself have caused a block on her road. She wanted to focus on making a career, that's what Amrit said but this marriage will change her...I know, because she is a very simple, traditional girl. I just hope that both can learn to love each other"
Romit: "Mum, don't worry, mein hoon na'I will make sure that if they don't on their own, I will make them fall in love with each other' I also want my brother back...and I will make sure I get him back. He will move on with Arohi and forget Gauri forever' you take rest and I will take care of everything" Sarita nodded and Romit left.
Adhoori Si Hai Zindagi Adhoore Hai Hum,
Bujh Rahin Hai Saansein Jal Rahe Hai Hum,
Badalte Mausamon Ne Sikhaya Hai Buhat Kuch Lakin,
Paane Ki Hasrat Mein Sab Kuch Kho Rahe Hai Hum,
Na Maloom Manzilon Par Qadam RUk Se Gaye Hai,
Beerh Mein Raston Ki Taraf Barh Rahe Hai Hum,
Toot Kar Bikhre Hai Khwaab Kuch Is Tarah Ke,
Ik Arsaa Hua Hai Unko Chun Rahe Hai Hum
** **To be continued
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