Mere pyaar mein kya kami reh gayi thee? (Page 3)

 

This I think is an excellent point. 

 

For me, I have always thought that the way she clings to the haveli is something unnatural. It's almost like she has no need for him -- it is just that he is a conduit to permanent haveli life.  And the only reason she misses him is because the basis of the haveli life is now threatened (not an explicit threat but the implicit one of being asked to leave one day because of gauri).

 

I dont think that she could have moved to mumbai because jagya's behaviour was getting intolerable...his insults etc. however, during the 10th standard exam showdown, she left this piece out of the story...nor did she let sumitra or bhairon know in private ... which I think is really, really, really weird.  Bhairon could have gone and found out what was going on right in the beginning.

 

I also feel that she doesnt divorce him not because she wants to be his legal wife...but because she doesnt want to stop being legal bahu of the haveli.

Mere Pyaar mein kya kami reh gayi thee.  This statement was echoing in my head all night and i was also mulling over it.  Glad you started this topic.

 

While I do agree with you all that bulk of the blame falls on Jagya's shoulders and you all bring up some salient points.  Some of you are gonna hate me for this, but i do feel that part of the blame does fall on Anandi.  now before you guys go attacking me about blaming the victim etc etc, I request you to hear me out.

 

We as human beings are constantly evolving, and i'd like to think... improving.  I think that childhood (choti) Anandi, had so much spunk, curiosity and an innate jest for life, that is sadly lacking in Adult Anandi.  Any attempt at levity by the current Anandi seems forced, even before her problems with Jagya.  Now i do realise that her spirit was viciously crushed by DS and therefore this change in personality, but I am really having a hard time digesting this because at times we saw her spirit peek through like when she fought for Jagya to study medicine.  She also spent 5 years of her time back at home away from the haveli, where she could have recovered from the atrocities of DS in her maayka.  now i know you will say her mum also brainwashed her, but all parents do that.  And they were not harsh with her.  In fact her parents are very loving and wouldnt that love be enough and Bhairon's and Sumitra and the rest of the family's love be enough to restore her spirit. 

 

Anandi has shown a love of books, a love for her felllow human beings, love for her husband , but she has not actively sought to be responsible with that love.

 

With regards to her books, she loves books, but did not honour education by following through with her own education.  It was always set aside in an effort to appease others. 

 

Her love for her fellow human beings is also compromised.  She wants to take short cuts in helping others.  If she dilligently thought through how she would uplift her community, she would  not have had this hodge podge school.  Now the elders education will suffer because of their personal enmity with her over the dhongi baba.  if she got the school master invloved, the govt. funding and had the elders attend classes in a more systematic manner, they would not have been so quick to shun education based on her involvement as there would have been neutral parties (masterji) conducting same.

 

Her love for her husband was also flawed.  She constantly thought that appeasing Jagya, will maintain his attraction and compliance.  Human nature is such that we get bored with what we have and constantly seek more challenging stimulation.  Jagya is no exception.  Anandi should have actively tried to get out of the haveli rasoi and tel malish and she should have tried to reinvent herself to remain interesting.  Marriage is hard work.  Both partners need to constantly work hard to stay interested and be interesting to each other.  Anandi had become stagnant on a personal level and Jagya was moving ahead. 

 

Before you bite my head off, let me add that the signs were all there even before Gauri's arrival.  On their honeymoon, remember Jagya wanted Anandi to wear the salwar kameez.  That was a thought provoking gesture, that hey my husband likes to see me in more modern clothes.  There were many opportunities for her to improve and educate herself, even with the family's blessing but she chose not to.  even the other examples once Gauri arrived on the scene mentioned by Sreevask and others.  She chose to be blind to those signs because of her 'trust' and love in Jagya.  She failed in her responsibility to protect her marriage or fight to make it work when she saw in the initial stages the cracks emerging at Jagya's birthday party or the phone conversations prior to that.  Her 'mahaantha', 'sahen shakti' or 'doormat status' contributed to her doing nothing to repair those  cracks.  She tends to give up easily when it comes to her personal life at the slightest tension, like when Jagya told her she cannot study when she passed 10th standard. 

 

I hope you guys understand that I am not attacking Anandi.  up until recently she was my most favorite character on tv.  in fact the human spirit within me wants her to truimph in whatever she undertakes, and that includes punishment for Jagya.  i do not believe he should be let off scot free and I do believe she has a larger responsibility in seeing to it that justice is meted out regardless of her personal gain or not but for the greater good. 

 

There is no mistake, Jagya's conduct has been most despicable.  99% of the blame falls on him.  But Anandi has been his enabler.  She has condoned his wrongdoings and sent the wrong messages to him by her financial support of him and by her lack of a lawsuit against him.  He prances around like a peacock thinking he has done no wrong because he has not had to suffer any consequences. 

 

So to come full circle, my take on this is LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH.  Evolving, improving changing for the better will keep your love alive on the giving and receiving end.  we constantly need to reinvent ourselves to remain interesting without losing our essence of being the good soul that your partner initially fell in love with.