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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Sister of My Heart (Page 5)

solembaum Senior Member
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Posted: 24 September 2011 at 12:12pm | IP Logged
I had already replied on this post once.. but I was thinking about this on and off the whole day... and after all that I don't think there has been enough things on the show that would make me feel that Khushi and Anjali are deeper than Khushi and Payal... May be it is that I don't really remember, but I don't remember anything else that Anjali has done with Khushi that would make me feel that there is something deeper than what she shares with Payal... 

There were many times when Khushi got insulted in Raizada house when I felt that Anjali is absolutely useless especially since she makes a feeble attempt at registering a feeble protest and after that she allows Khushi to be insulted by people in that house be it mamiji or lavanya or Arnav... She is too busy trying to please everyone that she never stands up for what is right...  I don't remember another instance where I felt that bond between her and Khushi... I think in this instance it is because both of them can relate to that experience of being an orphan... and the pain of losing their parents ( But I am still not clear how Anjali knew!)

Coming to Payal... I too agree  that she does not act like a real elder sister... But then I think out of the two sisters, payal is the more homely, traditional 'good girl'... who has probably never considered the economic aspects as her responsibility ... other than managing the house based on that economic situation... Even in the old lucknow scenes Khushi is shown as helping her babuji with the accounts and the shop... whereas Payal is shown as her mom's saaya... Khushi is her babuji's saya..  I guess Khushi is in that sense doing traditionally what is considered as the son's role in their family whereas Payal has always been the traditional girl... 'Gaiya' as buaji described her... I guess so those roles weredefined like that even before they came to Delhi... so probably it doesn't feel unnatural to them that it is Khushi going out and taking up responsibilities while Payal handles the home front and helps buaji with work at home... I think in Lucknow we did see more bonding between the two of them... and even now although the conversations are not really shown, there are Shyam scenes where we see Khushi and Payal talking in the back ground... Coming to Payal realising about Arnav and Khushi... I think Khushi's symptoms are much less pronounced that Akash's symptoms... and since ASR has been probably the single most constant presence in Khushi's and hence in Payal and Buaji's life since they came to delhi, I don't know if Khushi's constant references to him would start ringing alarm bells ... Those references can also be interpreted as being due to the kind of experiences that she has had with ASR.. so even for Payal it might not register as something that is more than her rating about this person who has totally disrupted life as she knew it.. And ASRs symptoms are probably more acute... but due to Lavanya's presence even Anjali is yet to make out that there is a possible Khushi angle there... so all in all while the Khushi- Anjali scene really was a gem and Anjali was really a very motherly figure in that situation... I still don't see enough to think that anjali-khushi bond is deeper...  and if ASR is 28 or even 26 anjali has to be atleast 30??? so there definitely has to be some difference in the way a 30 year old married woman will handle an 18 year old girl right??

Extremely sorry about the length of the post... 

P.S - Loved the title...Sister Of My Heart was one of the books that I had loved reading... But somehow couldn't finish the sequel... Vine Of Desire... I think I felt bad about the way things started ... and you made me feel like going back and reading the book :-)


Edited by solembaum - 24 September 2011 at 12:13pm

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Posted: 24 September 2011 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
^^^
Vine of Desire is good also, but not as good as Sister of My Heart.  And it all does not turn out bad, so finish it. Smile
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Posted: 24 September 2011 at 12:37pm | IP Logged
Anu
 
One reason I can think of is Daljeet is a better actor or more popular than Deepali and so the good dialogues are being given to her

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Posted: 24 September 2011 at 5:14pm | IP Logged
[QUOTE=Vistaa
 
 
To your point about Khushi's instinctive connection with Anjali and it being closer than her bond with Payal...IMHO, it is nothing more strange than what say, a breast cancer survivor may feel an instant and close connection with another survivor even though they have met for the first time. The two may be able to relate and understand each other on that topic, better than with their other loved ones. That does not mean they don't have an entirely robust, satisfying and fulfilling relationship with their mother, or sister or husband...as the case may be. It is just a question of feeling the kinship that arises out of shared experience.
 
 
Anjali and Khushi feel that moment of total accord and complete understanding because both have lost their parents...seen them go, never to return. Payal still has her father and when he remarries, she has a loving mother too. Payal will never be able to feel Khushi's pain of being an orphan, even though the sisters love each other to bits and would do anything for each other.
 
 
The larger point about Payal being sort of useless as an older sister...that is true. But that is her character trait...that is who she is. Khushi has always taken the lead and Payal has always been happy to let her do so. She is the quintessential home-maker...like her Ammaji. It never even occurs to her that she can step out of the house and find a job...but if there is anything that needs to be done in the house, she will be the first one to take on the responsibility. Small things like calling Khushi...she asks Shyam to do...because her brain is wired to say that men should take the lead ...of course she will call once Shyam is not able to ...but her first instinct is to ask Shyam to make the phone call.
 
 
All this sounds almost alien to our sensibilities in this day and age, but there are enough girls/women who think that way even now.
 
 
Hope I have not bored everyone to sleep with this long tomeEmbarrassed
 
 
 
 
[/QUOTE]
 
 
@ bold..ClapClap Vistaa ..that was an awesome analogy..in a way makes sense ..because they bonded in that moment where as on a number of occssions Anjali has kinda takne the back seat..granted a moment in time..
 
Baqi...@ red..hahahah..you know Payal is probably the baby of the gupta family...Khushi has had her share of trials and tribulations and in a way is quite similar to ASR..whereas he became an introvert ..she became an extrovert..and similarily Anjali is the baby of the raizada family...prob because one of the siblings has shouldered the emotional burden..
 
 
@tome..Hrrrmph..and a one liner on anotherTongue

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Posted: 24 September 2011 at 7:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by current

[QUOTE=Vistaa
 
 
To your point about Khushi's instinctive connection with Anjali and it being closer than her bond with Payal...IMHO, it is nothing more strange than what say, a breast cancer survivor may feel an instant and close connection with another survivor even though they have met for the first time. The two may be able to relate and understand each other on that topic, better than with their other loved ones. That does not mean they don't have an entirely robust, satisfying and fulfilling relationship with their mother, or sister or husband...as the case may be. It is just a question of feeling the kinship that arises out of shared experience.
 
 
Anjali and Khushi feel that moment of total accord and complete understanding because both have lost their parents...seen them go, never to return. Payal still has her father and when he remarries, she has a loving mother too. Payal will never be able to feel Khushi's pain of being an orphan, even though the sisters love each other to bits and would do anything for each other.
 
 
The larger point about Payal being sort of useless as an older sister...that is true. But that is her character trait...that is who she is. Khushi has always taken the lead and Payal has always been happy to let her do so. She is the quintessential home-maker...like her Ammaji. It never even occurs to her that she can step out of the house and find a job...but if there is anything that needs to be done in the house, she will be the first one to take on the responsibility. Small things like calling Khushi...she asks Shyam to do...because her brain is wired to say that men should take the lead ...of course she will call once Shyam is not able to ...but her first instinct is to ask Shyam to make the phone call.
 
 
All this sounds almost alien to our sensibilities in this day and age, but there are enough girls/women who think that way even now.
 
 
Hope I have not bored everyone to sleep with this long tomeEmbarrassed
 
 
 
 
 
 
@ bold..ClapClap Vistaa ..that was an awesome analogy..in a way makes sense ..because they bonded in that moment where as on a number of occssions Anjali has kinda takne the back seat..granted a moment in time..
 
Baqi...@ red..hahahah..you know Payal is probably the baby of the gupta family...Khushi has had her share of trials and tribulations and in a way is quite similar to ASR..whereas he became an introvert ..she became an extrovert..and similarily Anjali is the baby of the raizada family...prob because one of the siblings has shouldered the emotional burden..
 
But even still, I don't see Payal becoming Anjali when she is older.  I mean I absolutely did not like Anjali on mute while Mami and La did that little police number on Khushi - but I just felt there was something more to this encounter with Anjali than what I saw with Payal and Khushi.  Payal was a lot more big sisterly in Lucknow.  She is basically hiding in Delh and hanging the laundryi.  I think it's the CV's fault ultimately for not writing dialogue.   Too busy planning the next cold front to hit Khushi's dupatta.
 
@tome..Hrrrmph..and a one liner on anotherTongue  Uh oh...back away from the tamater...
[/QUOTE]

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sun2011

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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 8:12am | IP Logged
Originally posted by momma1128

Originally posted by Vistaa

Originally posted by momma1128




 
 
 Great post Anu, ...the opening para is brilliantSmileClap...and thank you for introducing a great author...sounds like she has written some amazing books...summer reading list doneSmile.

Aw thanks Vistaa.  I recommend starting with her book of short stories Arranged Marriage.  Sister of My Heart is a continuation of one of those stories (if memory serves right - i am just too lazy to go to the book shelf right now LOL)
 
 
To your point about Khushi's instinctive connection with Anjali and it being closer than her bond with Payal...IMHO, it is nothing more strange than what say, a breast cancer survivor may feel an instant and close connection with another survivor even though they have met for the first time. The two may be able to relate and understand each other on that topic, better than with their other loved ones. That does not mean they don't have an entirely robust, satisfying and fulfilling relationship with their mother, or sister or husband...as the case may be. It is just a question of feeling the kinship that arises out of shared experience.
 
I agree with you about the shared experience.  But as an older sister, if I see my brother sulking because he broke up with his girlfriend, doesn't mean I can't offer a shoulder to cry on because I've never had a girlfriend.  And I do believe that Payal loves her sister but understanding is another issue. It's not just about this instance with Payal, it's a feeling I get like she has emotional blinders on when it comes to Khushi.
 Payal has been the aggressive mother-hen with Khushi on more than one occassion...when Arnav brought her home after the guest-house incident and then when he came home again with that insulting money offer. It is Khushi who stone-walls the emotional confessions...other than her "rakshas" mode rants of course. But I do agree that of late there have not been enough Khushi-Payal interaction...the last one of some note that I can recall being when Lavanya rudely insisted that Khushi stay on when the Trifecta (Buaji-Payal-Khushi) was about to leave after Janmashtmi pooja. That is when Payal had demanded Khushi leave the job because Lavanya was crossing her limits.
 
 

 
 
 
The larger point about Payal being sort of useless as an older sister...that is true. But that is her character trait...that is who she is. Khushi has always taken the lead and Payal has always been happy to let her do so. She is the quintessential home-maker...like her Ammaji. It never even occurs to her that she can step out of the house and find a job...but if there is anything that needs to be done in the house, she will be the first one to take on the responsibility. Small things like calling Khushi...she asks Shyam to do...because her brain is wired to say that men should take the lead ...of course she will call once Shyam is not able to ...but her first instinct is to ask Shyam to make the phone call.
 
 
All this sounds almost alien to our sensibilities in this day and age, but there are enough girls/women who think that way even now.

@ underline - That's exactly my point and it was this scene that highlighted it for me.  And while Payal may be brought up to be the bestest bahu, so has Anjali.  Somehow, I don't believe that even when Payal gets to be Anjali's age, she will have the same insight into people, including her own sister.  Also, it may never occur to her to go out and get a job - and I can live with that - if it weren't for the fact that she had absolutely no problem with Khushi taking up the brunt of the responsibility.  These women who still think this way, would have had a conversation with the sister or internally about how we shouldn't go out and do these things.  It seems to me she treat Khushi like the 'bhai' instead of the choti behen. Yes that is exactly right...Khushi is treated as the son of the house, rather than the youngest daughter...and I suspect, that is exactly how she wants to be treated. She is the one picking up cudgels on behalf of Bouji...remember the shopkeeper in Lucknow, after Payal's called off wedding? He was making sweet talk with Shashi and Garima while all the time passing off an inflated bill...and how Khushi not only caught the totalling "error", but also called him out on his tall claims?
Khushi, in her heart probably, wants to repay the Gupta family for taking her in and thus wants to be of use to them in any and every way...just as if they had a son...and the way the world treats us is largely determined by the way we project ourselves...Khushi has always been the Gupta family Fighter...she is the one with the scooty, and the helmet...Smile
(Confession time: I too have a younger brother, a democratic family and Khushi's spiritTongue...can't tell you how many times have fixed the fuse while he was fiddling with his latest video gameBig smile, and was more than happy to do it)


 
 
Hope I have not bored everyone to sleep with this long tomeEmbarrassed
 
 
 
 
 
 
Thanks Anu, for a most invigorating discussion.
 
 

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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 11:00am | IP Logged
I have been loving this thread, and since my favorite posters have posted time and again, I'd love to jump in one more time, please do bear with me!

One of my favorite soaps (before they ruined it) was Bidaai, and I liked it more for the sisters being portrayed in it than for the actual hum drum dramatic story lines. For those of you in the know, I'm sure you remember the dynamic between the cousins  Ragini and Sandhya, where the younger sister marries the older brother and the eldest one marries the younger. Their bond transcends all others, and the story moves mainly through both sisters' need to care for the other.

The reason I bring this up is because of the obvious parallels of the younger sister being the orphaned cousin who shoulders the family's responsibility, and sells herself into an unwanted marriage for her family. In the story, she also makes sure her eldest sister, the less assertive one,  who  is in love with the brother in law gets her happiness as well, as a bride. Bidaai worked because we see Ragini growing  from being just as hilariously naive as Payal, into a tigress and the one with the actual supportive, good marriage to draw strength from. She is helped by Sadnya, but ends up being her rock. There Sandhya is still a main lead but with Ragini's active support and brains at her disposal.

Im sure all serials are derivative, but I'm worried that the Khushi -Payal dynamic is being set up to mimic this older story, and Payal isn't enough of a character to grow beyond her meekness and obsession with clean clothing to truly be a support for Khushi once both sisters enter the Raizada House.

Khushi has enough stacked against her without having to permanently shield Payal from Mami and a hundred upcoming new enemies. Payal's character has been made into such a milk-toast wishy-washy (pun intended) caricature, I don't see the potential for redemption. Its not just her obliviousness with Khushi's emotional mindset, and the points about Khushi having walls  around her made earlier is well taken. Its her general refusal to take any responsibility, even for something as basic as making a phone call, or being strong for her Mom and Aunt at a horrible time-I noticed she immediately wanted Khushi when Shyam actually pointed out something she had to be responsible for. This has happened again and again.

Bottom line, I'm actually against Payal's entry as Akash's spouse in her current avatar, and until they really spend a few weeks and some intensive writing proving what she brings to the table, I'm happy with her being sidelined and not being a secondary heroine, Lakshmi style. It says something when you are being out-performed  by a goat.

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Posted: 25 September 2011 at 1:02pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by napstermonster

I have been loving this thread, and since my favorite posters have posted time and again, I'd love to jump in one more time, please do bear with me!

One of my favorite soaps (before they ruined it) was Bidaai, and I liked it more for the sisters being portrayed in it than for the actual hum drum dramatic story lines. For those of you in the know, I'm sure you remember the dynamic between the cousins  Ragini and Sandhya, where the younger sister marries the older brother and the eldest one marries the younger. Their bond transcends all others, and the story moves mainly through both sisters' need to care for the other.

The reason I bring this up is because of the obvious parallels of the younger sister being the orphaned cousin who shoulders the family's responsibility, and sells herself into an unwanted marriage for her family. In the story, she also makes sure her eldest sister, the less assertive one,  who  is in love with the brother in law gets her happiness as well, as a bride. Bidaai worked because we see Ragini growing  from being just as hilariously naive as Payal, into a tigress and the one with the actual supportive, good marriage to draw strength from. She is helped by Sadnya, but ends up being her rock. There Sandhya is still a main lead but with Ragini's active support and brains at her disposal.

Im sure all serials are derivative, but I'm worried that the Khushi -Payal dynamic is being set up to mimic this older story, and Payal isn't enough of a character to grow beyond her meekness and obsession with clean clothing to truly be a support for Khushi once both sisters enter the Raizada House.

Khushi has enough stacked against her without having to permanently shield Payal from Mami and a hundred upcoming new enemies. Payal's character has been made into such a milk-toast wishy-washy (pun intended) caricature, I don't see the potential for redemption. Its not just her obliviousness with Khushi's emotional mindset, and the points about Khushi having walls  around her made earlier is well taken. Its her general refusal to take any responsibility, even for something as basic as making a phone call, or being strong for her Mom and Aunt at a horrible time-I noticed she immediately wanted Khushi when Shyam actually pointed out something she had to be responsible for. This has happened again and again.

Bottom line, I'm actually against Payal's entry as Akash's spouse in her current avatar, and until they really spend a few weeks and some intensive writing proving what she brings to the table, I'm happy with her being sidelined and not being a secondary heroine, Lakshmi style. It says something when you are being out-performed  by a goat.

I liked your view point and post too! Bidai is a good example of the strong bond shared by sisters.
The thing about IPK...is that it mainly showcases Arnav and Khushi's story and after that Anjali's. There is lesser scope for Payal's character or story to emerge out of the shadows. All she does now is look pretty and mouth insignificant lines. Even Akash is completely sidelined.
To me it seems that at present the writers are not really bothered about giving Payal's character a new dimension. We can only hope that in the future when both sisters become sister-in-laws as well, Payal will have more to contribute as the elder sibling. 

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