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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

How far should you try to change a person? UPDATED (Page 2)

illa8 Goldie
illa8
illa8

Joined: 04 August 2009
Posts: 1377

Posted: 20 September 2011 at 4:54pm | IP Logged
nice

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incandescent

incandescent IF-Sizzlerz
incandescent
incandescent

Joined: 10 September 2011
Posts: 19912

Posted: 20 September 2011 at 6:48pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -RushTrip-

sorry Fari

i am not in a decent frame of mind to comment..

i should not have reserved...Dead


no problem yaar!

i understand. Smile catch up wth u later. 

poppy2009 IF-Rockerz
poppy2009
poppy2009

Joined: 18 March 2009
Posts: 5662

Posted: 20 September 2011 at 7:10pm | IP Logged
[QUOTE=incandescent]

ARNAV - He is developing feelings for Khushi despite having a girlfriend. Even though he claims not be believe in love, he is in relationship.

What makes Arnav except La and not Khushi? He prefers La over Khushi because she is a modern, independent (so is Khushi), wears modern (western) clothes, speaks English fluently, according to him shares his view of life. She is more apt in the high society. 

I think the reason that Arnav prefers someone like La is because she is more or less an emotionally undemanding person as compared to someone like Khushi, who will never compromise on her emotions for anything else! Arnav, obviously has his own share of insecurities and complexes and is clearly not able to / or want to be 'too' involved with any girl in his life, yet wants someone to share his life with! La fits that bill perfectly as of now! She would be the kind of wife who is happy with her husband's status and name and as long as her own (material) needs are fulfilled, won't be demanding on Arnav's emotions!
 
Khushi on the other hand is also modern and independent, but she is also very religious and traditional (unlike Arnav and Lavanya). She comes from a humble background, wears gaudy clothes, and speaks with an accent.

His feelings for Khushi are clearly much stronger than his feelings for La but he refuses to accept it. He considers Khushi inferior to him due to her status. Is her status the only factor? Do you think Arnav would have accepted his feeling much easily if Khushi dressed up like La, behaved like La, spoke in polished manner despite coming from a poor family?

Arnav only pretends to be a snob, but he is clearly not one! The fact that he gets genuinly worried for Khushi proves that he cares for her, beyond her colorful clothes and accented English and her so-called middle-class background. I don't think Arnav would have been any different with Khushi, even if she had put on Chanel clothes and carried a LV handbag! He is attracted to her and that is what makes him put her down, so that his pretence of hatred can mask his true feelings. It just helps his case, that she dresses up and acts in a way which is so very different from his own background. Arnav uses the fact that Khushi is not up-market to cover up his feelings...his charactrer doesn't seem to be superficial enough to care about such things!

KHUSHI - She hasn't yet developed or realized her feeling for Arnav. She has grown up in traditional household where religion and marriage is valued. She cannot fathom Arnav's unconventional lifestyle. Teaching La the traditional ways of life is her job but she taken it a step further. She is unknowingly trying to change him through Lavanya. If Arnav changes his ways, would he be more acceptable to her? Will it be easier for her to fall in love with a changed Arnav? 

It would not be right if Khushi falls in love with a 'changed' Arnav! Or for that matter if Arnav falls in love with a post make-over Khushi! The whole point of true love is that people accept each other for what they are rather than for what others expect them to be! It would be wonderful, if Khushi falls in love with Arnav on an as-is basis...with his anger, with his vitrolic tounge, with his attitude and with his bitterness. And Arnav falls in love with her simplicity, her bad dress-sense and her terrible English! 

LAVANYA  - She is modern (westernized) girl. She is independent and earns a good living for herself. She is in relationship with a man who she truly loves despite his cold exterior. She agreed to be in a live-in relationship with him because they both did not believe in marriage. Arnav likes her, accepts her the way she is and does not want her to change in anyway. She is changing herself in order to be acceptable to his traditional family. She has even started to believe in marriage and has proposed to her man which has created a rift in their relationship. 

She agreed to live with Arnav even though she knew that there wasn't any possibility of a marriage. Initially she herself was against the idea and knew about Arnav's stand regarding marriage. Now that she has changed, is it justified for her to expect Arnav to change?

If Lavanya truly loves Arnav, then she won't expect him to change, for her or for anyone else! Arnav did not ask her to change...she did it after coming under Khushi's influence! Infact, if anything, Arnav kept telling her consistently that she should not become KKG, rather remain Lavanya Kashyap, but she still went ahead and became something that was clearly unacceptabel to Arnav!
 
He has been nothing but honest to her...he never promised her marriage...yet gave his committment and even got her to live with him at his home! It is not Arnav's fault, that Lavanya now wants to marry him and expects him to do that too![/QUOTE]
 
Nice post, btw!Big smile


Edited by poppy2009 - 20 September 2011 at 7:15pm

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ashvezDiyaSincandescent

incandescent IF-Sizzlerz
incandescent
incandescent

Joined: 10 September 2011
Posts: 19912

Posted: 20 September 2011 at 7:14pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by poppy2009

[QUOTE=incandescent]

ARNAV - He is developing feelings for Khushi despite having a girlfriend. Even though he claims not be believe in love, he is in relationship.

What makes Arnav except La and not Khushi? He prefers La over Khushi because she is a modern, independent (so is Khushi), wears modern (western) clothes, speaks English fluently, according to him shares his view of life. She is more apt in the high society. 

I think the reason that Arnva prefers someone like La is because she is more or less an emotionally undemanding person as compared to someone like Khushi, who will never compromise on her emotions for anything else! Arnav, obviously has his own share of insecurities and complexes and is clearly not able to / or want to be 'too' involved with any girl in his life, yet wants someone to share his life with! La fits that bill perfectly as of now! She would be the kind of wife who is happy with her husband's status and name and as long as her own (material) needs are fulfilled, won't be demanding on Arnav's emotions!
 
Khushi on the other hand is also modern and independent, but she is also very religious and traditional (unlike Arnav and Lavanya). She comes from a humble background, wears gaudy clothes, and speaks with an accent.

His feelings for Khushi are clearly much stronger than his feelings for La but he refuses to accept it. He considers Khushi inferior to him due to her status. Is her status the only factor? Do you think Arnav would have accepted his feeling much easily if Khushi dressed up like La, behaved like La, spoke in polished manner despite coming from a poor family?

Arnav only pretends to be a snob, but he is clearly not one! The fact that he gets genuinly worried for Khushi proves that he cares for her, beyond her colorful clothes and accented English and her so-called middle-class background. I don't think Arnav would have been any different with Khushi, even if she had put on Chanel clothes and carried a LV handbag! He is attracted to her and that is what makes him put her down, so that his pretence of hatred can mask his true feelings. It just helps his case, that she dresses up and acts in a way which is so very different from his own background. Arnav uses the fact that Khushi is not up-market to cover up his feelings...his charactrer doesn't seem to be superficial enough to care about such things!

KHUSHI - She hasn't yet developed or realized her feeling for Arnav. She has grown up in traditional household where religion and marriage is valued. She cannot fathom Arnav's unconventional lifestyle. Teaching La the traditional ways of life is her job but she taken it a step further. She is unknowingly trying to change him through Lavanya. If Arnav changes his ways, would he be more acceptable to her? Will it be easier for her to fall in love with a changed Arnav? 

It would not be right if Khushi falls in love with a 'changed' Arnav! Or for that matter if Arnav falls in love with a post make-over Khushi! The whole point of true love is that people accept each other for what they are rather than for what others expect them to be! It would be wonderful, if Khushi falls in love with Arnav on an as-is basis...with his anger, with his vitrolic tounge, with his attitude and with his bitterness. And Arnav falls in love with her simplicity, her bad dress-sense and her terrible English! 

LAVANYA  - She is modern (westernized) girl. She is independent and earns a good living for herself. She is in relationship with a man who she truly loves despite his cold exterior. She agreed to be in a live-in relationship with him because they both did not believe in marriage. Arnav likes her, accepts her the way she is and does not want her to change in anyway. She is changing herself in order to be acceptable to his traditional family. She has even started to believe in marriage and has proposed to her man which has created a rift in their relationship. 

She agreed to live with Arnav even though she knew that there wasn't any possibility of a marriage. Initially she herself was against the idea and knew about Arnav's stand regarding marriage. Now that she has changed, is it justified for her to expect Arnav to change?

If Lavanya truly loves Arnav, then she won't expect him to change, for her or for anyone else! Arnav did not ask her to change...she did it after coming under Khushi's influence! Infact, if anything, Arnav kept telling her consistently that she should not become KKG, rather remain Lavanya Kashyap, but she still went ahead and became something that was clearly unacceptabel to Arnav!
 
He has been nothing but honest to her...he never promised her marriage...yet gave his committment and even got her to live with him at his home! It is not Arnav's fault, that Lavanya now wants to marry him and expects him to do that too![/QUOTE]
 
Nice post, btw!Big smile

you have made some interesting points i'll edit later.Smile

incandescent IF-Sizzlerz
incandescent
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Joined: 10 September 2011
Posts: 19912

Posted: 20 September 2011 at 7:15pm | IP Logged
hey i just became a senior member !!!Party Dancing
solembaum Senior Member
solembaum
solembaum

Joined: 03 October 2009
Posts: 738

Posted: 20 September 2011 at 7:23pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by poppy2009

[QUOTE=incandescent]

ARNAV - He is developing feelings for Khushi despite having a girlfriend. Even though he claims not be believe in love, he is in relationship.

What makes Arnav except La and not Khushi? He prefers La over Khushi because she is a modern, independent (so is Khushi), wears modern (western) clothes, speaks English fluently, according to him shares his view of life. She is more apt in the high society. 

I think the reason that Arnav prefers someone like La is because she is more or less an emotionally undemanding person as compared to someone like Khushi, who will never compromise on her emotions for anything else! Arnav, obviously has his own share of insecurities and complexes and is clearly not able to / or want to be 'too' involved with any girl in his life, yet wants someone to share his life with! La fits that bill perfectly as of now! She would be the kind of wife who is happy with her husband's status and name and as long as her own (material) needs are fulfilled, won't be demanding on Arnav's emotions!
 
Khushi on the other hand is also modern and independent, but she is also very religious and traditional (unlike Arnav and Lavanya). She comes from a humble background, wears gaudy clothes, and speaks with an accent.

His feelings for Khushi are clearly much stronger than his feelings for La but he refuses to accept it. He considers Khushi inferior to him due to her status. Is her status the only factor? Do you think Arnav would have accepted his feeling much easily if Khushi dressed up like La, behaved like La, spoke in polished manner despite coming from a poor family?

Arnav only pretends to be a snob, but he is clearly not one! The fact that he gets genuinly worried for Khushi proves that he cares for her, beyond her colorful clothes and accented English and her so-called middle-class background. I don't think Arnav would have been any different with Khushi, even if she had put on Chanel clothes and carried a LV handbag! He is attracted to her and that is what makes him put her down, so that his pretence of hatred can mask his true feelings. It just helps his case, that she dresses up and acts in a way which is so very different from his own background. Arnav uses the fact that Khushi is not up-market to cover up his feelings...his charactrer doesn't seem to be superficial enough to care about such things!

KHUSHI - She hasn't yet developed or realized her feeling for Arnav. She has grown up in traditional household where religion and marriage is valued. She cannot fathom Arnav's unconventional lifestyle. Teaching La the traditional ways of life is her job but she taken it a step further. She is unknowingly trying to change him through Lavanya. If Arnav changes his ways, would he be more acceptable to her? Will it be easier for her to fall in love with a changed Arnav? 

It would not be right if Khushi falls in love with a 'changed' Arnav! Or for that matter if Arnav falls in love with a post make-over Khushi! The whole point of true love is that people accept each other for what they are rather than for what others expect them to be! It would be wonderful, if Khushi falls in love with Arnav on an as-is basis...with his anger, with his vitrolic tounge, with his attitude and with his bitterness. And Arnav falls in love with her simplicity, her bad dress-sense and her terrible English! 

LAVANYA  - She is modern (westernized) girl. She is independent and earns a good living for herself. She is in relationship with a man who she truly loves despite his cold exterior. She agreed to be in a live-in relationship with him because they both did not believe in marriage. Arnav likes her, accepts her the way she is and does not want her to change in anyway. She is changing herself in order to be acceptable to his traditional family. She has even started to believe in marriage and has proposed to her man which has created a rift in their relationship. 

She agreed to live with Arnav even though she knew that there wasn't any possibility of a marriage. Initially she herself was against the idea and knew about Arnav's stand regarding marriage. Now that she has changed, is it justified for her to expect Arnav to change?

If Lavanya truly loves Arnav, then she won't expect him to change, for her or for anyone else! Arnav did not ask her to change...she did it after coming under Khushi's influence! Infact, if anything, Arnav kept telling her consistently that she should not become KKG, rather remain Lavanya Kashyap, but she still went ahead and became something that was clearly unacceptabel to Arnav!
 
He has been nothing but honest to her...he never promised her marriage...yet gave his committment and even got her to live with him at his home! It is not Arnav's fault, that Lavanya now wants to marry him and expects him to do that too![/QUOTE]
 
Nice post, btw!Big smile

I am not sure if the definition of true love means she should never expect marriage... In her own way I think she loves him... she was living in the present with no thought of the future and khushi made her think about the future... and now she wants something more permanent for her future... I don't htink what she is asking is unreasonable... But it could be a deal breaker since arnav does not love La and will never take that step for her... If he was going to keep his relationship as an unconventional thing and go for a live-in then he should really have kept it out of the house and he should not have agreed for this ive-in arrangement where La is constantly expected to get approval from everyone... while he can behave with a certain highhandedness with his family Lavanya cannnot get away with that.. and hence she cannot totally ignore his family and do whatever she pleases... he tells her keep his Di happy... His Di is happy when Nani is also happy... so ultimately Lavanya has to keep nani and Di happy...which means she cannot just be what she is in his house right? So the omnipotent man should have realised what he is putting her through and should have thought things through before inviting Lavanya in... or else should have told his Di categorically that he wont stand for a makeover of La.

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DiyaSincandescent

incandescent IF-Sizzlerz
incandescent
incandescent

Joined: 10 September 2011
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Posted: 20 September 2011 at 7:27pm | IP Logged
  

I am not sure if the definition of true love means she should never expect marriage... In her own way I think she loves him... she was living in the present with no thought of the future and khushi made her think about the future... and now she wants something more permanent for her future... I don't htink what she is asking is unreasonable... But it could be a deal breaker since arnav does not love La and will never take that step for her... If he was going to keep his relationship as an unconventional thing and go for a live-in then he should really have kept it out of the house and he should not have agreed for this ive-in arrangement where La is constantly expected to get approval from everyone... while he can behave with a certain highhandedness with his family Lavanya cannnot get away with that.. and hence she cannot totally ignore his family and do whatever she pleases... he tells her keep his Di happy... His Di is happy when Nani is also happy... so ultimately Lavanya has to keep nani and Di happy...which means she cannot just be what she is in his house right? So the omnipotent man should have realised what he is putting her through and should have thought things through before inviting Lavanya in... or else should have told his Di categorically that he wont stand for a makeover of La.


  

you have made an interesting point.



Edited by incandescent - 20 September 2011 at 7:28pm
poppy2009 IF-Rockerz
poppy2009
poppy2009

Joined: 18 March 2009
Posts: 5662

Posted: 20 September 2011 at 7:36pm | IP Logged
Actually, La is the biggest loser in the whole equation!Confused
 
If she changes, then Arnav doesn't like it; if she doesn't change, then Naani and (perhaps) Anjali don't like it!
 
Arnav is just being a typical man here! Wanting to enjoy rights without taking on any responsibilities! Its only right that Khushi tells him that his character is dheela!LOL

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incandescent

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