Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

How far should you try to change a person? UPDATED

incandescent IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 20 September 2011 at 1:43pm | IP Logged

ARNAV - He is developing feelings for Khushi despite having a girlfriend. Even though he claims not be believe in love, he is in relationship.

What makes Arnav except La and not Khushi? He prefers La over Khushi because she is a modern, independent (so is Khushi), wears modern (western) clothes, speaks English fluently, according to him shares his view of life. She is more apt in the high society. 

Khushi on the other hand is also modern and independent, but she is also very religious and traditional (unlike Arnav and Lavanya). She comes from a humble background, wears gaudy clothes, and speaks with an accent.

His feelings for Khushi are clearly much stronger than his feelings for La but he refuses to accept it. He considers Khushi inferior to him due to her status. Is her status the only factor? Do you think Arnav would have accepted his feeling much easily if Khushi dressed up like La, behaved like La, spoke in polished manner despite coming from a poor family?

 

KHUSHI - She hasn't yet developed or realized her feeling for Arnav. She has grown up in traditional household where religion and marriage is valued. She cannot fathom Arnav's unconventional lifestyle. Teaching La the traditional ways of life is her job but she taken it a step further. She is unknowingly trying to change him through Lavanya. If Arnav changes his ways, would he be more acceptable to her? Will it be easier for her to fall in love with a changed Arnav? 

 

LAVANYA  - She is modern (westernized) girl. She is independent and earns a good living for herself. She is in relationship with a man who she truly loves despite his cold exterior. She agreed to be in a live-in relationship with him because they both did not believe in marriage. Arnav likes her, accepts her the way she is and does not want her to change in anyway. She is changing herself in order to be acceptable to his traditional family. She has even started to believe in marriage and has proposed to her man which has created a rift in their relationship. 

 

She agreed to live with Arnav even though she knew that there wasn't any possibility of a marriage. Initially she herself was against the idea and knew about Arnav's stand regarding marriage. Now that she has changed, is it justified for her to expect Arnav to change?



Edited by incandescent - 20 September 2011 at 1:50pm

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Posted: 20 September 2011 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
sorry Fari

i am not in a decent frame of mind to comment..

i should not have reserved...Dead




Edited by -RushTrip- - 20 September 2011 at 4:55pm

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incandescent

--Nargis-- IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 20 September 2011 at 1:47pm | IP Logged
That depends on how many things are WRONG with the person to begin with...no??LOL 

No but seriously, I don't think you can change a person, or their core, what you can try to do is change their perspective...change the way they see things...add a new perspective to their thinking, and I think that that is what Kushi is doing with La.Tongue  and inevitably with Arnav too...she is changing his perspective by being herself...she is so different from him...that her existence and her personality and her reaction to things present a different perspective.

With La...she is changing her perspective consciously, where as with Arnav its not so consciously.Tongue


Edited by --Nargis-- - 20 September 2011 at 1:51pm

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sun2011Yummymummytinselincandescent

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Posted: 20 September 2011 at 1:55pm | IP Logged

IN one of the old episodes he gave reasons for accepting Lavanya as his girlfriend, Out of those reasons the strong one was that Lavanya didnt want to marry him and he can enjoy his freedom. La is a girl who wont question ASR for his deeds.

He has no love for Lavanya, even didnt have any attraction.
He wants to be away from khushi because he is afraid of himself, he cant stop himself from thinking about her.
He want himself to maintain his tough ASR image and want to escape from marriage so he prefer to be with La.
 
I dont think that dressing style, status, accent etc have to do something with him, he always tell those things to khushi because he didnt want to be close with her, so he always make her down by reminding her status inspite of getting attracted to her.

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momma1128 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 20 September 2011 at 2:02pm | IP Logged
In the real world, when two people enter into a live in relationship and then one half expects more, the other half becomes bitter and feels that they are getting a raw deal after being open and honest.  It's about expectations.  When expectations change and will not be met, the relationship usually heads downhill.  La cannot expect ASR to change.  The only reason shown as to why she now wants marriage is so that she can keep ASR when she is no longer beautiful.  Totally flimsy.

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Posted: 20 September 2011 at 2:10pm | IP Logged
We are all constantly changing. This question usually refers to trying to change a characteristic about someone that they have no desire or reason to change. It is hard to accept a characteristic about someone that we would see as a fault within ourselves. Truly accepting someone in whole rather than in parts takes practice and an effort to understand that life is too complex to be judge and jury to everyone.

Because not everyone realizes that they are responsible for creating their own happiness. When you create your own happiness, the actions of others can very rarely affect your own feelings in a negative way. 

Sounds strange, I'm sure, but when a person decides to concentrate on making themselves into a happier, more positive person, that is exactly what they will begin to attract into their lives. 

I think that since most people don't know this, that is why they try to change other people.

Our relationships with others becomes truly joyful when we become aware of the fact that the only thing we really have control to change is within ourselves.


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incandescent IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 20 September 2011 at 2:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by rechup

IN one of the old episodes he gave reasons for accepting Lavanya as his girlfriend, Out of those reasons the strong one was that Lavanya didnt want to marry him and he can enjoy his freedom. La is a girl who wont question ASR for his deeds.

He has no love for Lavanya, even didnt have any attraction.
He wants to be away from khushi because he is afraid of himself, he cant stop himself from thinking about her.
He want himself to maintain his tough ASR image and want to escape from marriage so he prefer to be with La.
 
I dont think that dressing style, status, accent etc have to do something with him, he always tell those things to khushi because he didnt want to be close with her, so he always make her down by reminding her status inspite of getting attracted to her.


I agree that he does not love La, but i disagree that he has no attraction. Let's assume that he considers La to be an arm candy. He is only involved with her because a man of his status should have a hot, sexy gal in his life. Even for that he needs to be attracted to her in some way.

if not anything else, he at least finds her hot or beautiful.

There plenty of hot girls around who  would be lining up to be ASR's girlfriend. He could have picked anyone. Why La? He must have seen something other than her hotness quotient to chose her in the first place.

As for Khushi, it was shown in one of the promos where he is telling an employee humare kapde humaein banate hain.So the way a person dresses is important to him.

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incandescent IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 20 September 2011 at 3:23pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by momma1128

In the real world, when two people enter into a live in relationship and then one half expects more, the other half becomes bitter and feels that they are getting a raw deal after being open and honest.  It's about expectations.  When expectations change and will not be met, the relationship usually heads downhill.  La cannot expect ASR to change.  The only reason shown as to why she now wants marriage is so that she can keep ASR when she is no longer beautiful.  Totally flimsy.


i agree with your take on live-in relatioship in the real world.

La is totally committed to ASR. She is not planning to leave him when he's old. From her convo with khushi we learnt that she never really thought about her future and she agreed to the live-in arrangement without considering all aspects.  

La is flimsy and materialistic. But she still loves ASR. The depth of feelings vary from person to person and she loves ASR as much she can love a person. At least she thinks she loves him as deeply as possible. 

She never thought about the future. Now that she has, she is feeling insecure. She feels ASR may no longer want to be with her when she gets old. By asking for marriage, she is trying to save her relationship.



Edited by incandescent - 20 September 2011 at 3:25pm

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