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STORY CONTEST - 5 (RESULTS ON PAGE 26) (Page 8)

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gadhadada

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gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010

Posts: 53899

Posted: 03 October 2011 at 9:28am | IP Logged

hmmm... wat should i say...CryCry
Crysub nay tou ELECTRON MICROSCOUPE laga ker STORY kay TUKRAY TUKRAY ker diyeyWink...
khair i was the person who really messing the CONTEST with my STORY... cz only
MY STORY was PURELY OTT... i have tried but failed to completely change my FLOW n STYLECryDead...

abt VIS DII CRITIC POINT... thanx DII... yup it was a BLUNDER... seriously
main nay socha hee nahi... how STUPID i mAngry!!!

abt ASTONISH... yup buddy i agree that placing CELL PHONES at tables was not
expected by DUO... but here i brought that POINT (which always pinched me alot)
that in CID... TEAM majorly dependent on SALUNKHY Sir GYAAN... either its BRIEF
or WHOLE... so i personally put that kay DUO ko khud bhi GYAAN leena chahyey...
zahir sii baat hay SALUNKHY Sir sub kuch nahi batayein gay!!!... and abt that
DOOR... BHAI ko BACHACHE hay naWink... and yup abt that BOMB NEWS... ya U are absolutely
correct... i missed thatCry but it obvious na that LIFTMAN created the chaos...

abt SUNNY... Sunny yup U are rite... TAREEKA already told them that the GUY was
killed by sum POISON... but BHAI (oops... i mean DAYA Sir) just clearify his assumption
thatswhy he waited for SALUNKHY Sir... abt that WANDRA CONSTRUCTION COMPANY... ya
U are absolutely correct... all are so STUPID like MECry... it was a BIG BLUNDERCry... that
nobody did not see anything by anymeans... abt DUO entrance... yup its again a BIG STUPIDITY
from me... but they only want to seal that place... or saw the place... but it was STUPID Cry
buddy... very TRUE... and abt UR 3RD CRITIC POINT... i m so SORRY... mujahy samjh nahi aaya...
kya aap phir say is query ko mujhy samjha do gay... i meant i never ever said that LIFTMAN tried to
kill the GUY... the GUY killing was an ACCIDENT even MANAGER did not want to kill him
intentionally...

SHREYA... buddy i tried but its so difficult for me even my answer sheet was jus like that
and my teacher pat on their heads everytimeLOL... but yup i'll try...

abt VIS DII, POLLY, SUNNY and BHAVNA DII... yup the XTRA DRAMA and complete OTT which really spoilt the mood... i m so SORRY for that not to U all but from the rest of the READERS as well...

if i ll get any SCORE (which is quite IMPOSSIBLE)... its only because of VIS DII and GOOGLE...

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sunnyp1414

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sunnyp1414

Joined: 22 November 2009

Posts: 3085

Posted: 03 October 2011 at 10:01am | IP Logged
@ gadhadada
I didn't said liftman killed guy. 

(IF I remember story correctly)

I just said when he found dead body and  he said to his friend inform about bomb so that in that process CID find dead body. Vo CID ko kissi bhi tarah se lash ke bare mein batana chta tha but is this way to tell?

Listening bomb  stampede will be there and actually some innocent will be killed in stampede. He is actually causing stampede.

and please I know I scrutinized story badly, you know when I scrutinized my story yesterday I found more loopholes in my story than yours. I admit it publicly. I didn't read stories as one of participant in this story contest rather just as reader who was trying to read and always try to guess what next and I really like research work you tried to put in it


Edited by sunnyp1414 - 03 October 2011 at 10:04am

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gadhadada

Bhavanab

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Bhavanab

Joined: 31 March 2009

Posts: 23580

Posted: 03 October 2011 at 10:13am | IP Logged
Oh cmon GD ...stop this shedding of tears !!!! Yours wasn't bad re ... it was nice too ... just could've been better according to us ... slightly more toned down and it would have been perfect .. suggestions are for improvement ... I'm sure you'll do bettter ... take the suggestions positively and woprk towards them !!

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gadhadada

gadhadada

Coolbie

gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010

Posts: 53899

Posted: 03 October 2011 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sunnyp1414

@ gadhadada
I didn't said liftman killed guy. 

(IF I remember story correctly)

I just said when he found dead body and  he said to his friend inform about bomb so that in that process CID find dead body. Vo CID ko kissi bhi tarah se lash ke bare mein batana chta tha but is this way to tell?

Listening bomb  stampede will be there and actually some innocent will be killed in stampede. He is actually causing stampede.

and please I know I scrutinized story badly, you know when I scrutinized my story yesterday I found more loopholes in my story than yours. I admit it publicly. I didn't read stories as one of participant in this story contest rather just as reader who was trying to read and always try to guess what next and I really like research work you tried to put in it


SUNNY... i wrote that kay mujhy aap ka 3RD CONTRADICT POINT samjh hee nahi aaya tha... but now its CLEARED... THANX... and abt SCRUTINISED!!!!
karo dada... HUM nay roka thori hay!!!!ShockedShocked

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sunnyp1414

gadhadada

Coolbie

gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010

Posts: 53899

Posted: 03 October 2011 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Bhavanab

Oh cmon GD ...stop this shedding of tears !!!! Yours wasn't bad re ... it was nice too ... just could've been better according to us ... slightly more toned down and it would have been perfect .. suggestions are for improvement ... I'm sure you'll do bettter ... take the suggestions positively and woprk towards them !!


arry DII... its NOT MY TEARS... its MY CHASHMA tears naWink... HE is VERY EMMOTIONAL like BHAIWinkLOL... arry DII... i took all POSITIVE... i jus want to be HONEST... and thats ABSOLUTE TRUE that MINE was OTT... so NOT abt SHEDDING TEARS... i just want to CLEARIFY the CONTRADICT POINTS...


Edited by gadhadada - 03 October 2011 at 12:12pm

visrom

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visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009

Posts: 27993

Posted: 03 October 2011 at 9:28pm | IP Logged
You know what GD., you go OTT with everything...be it your apology or whatever.
 
If you keep aplogising all the time and demeaning yourself, even when you genuinely apologise, people will not be able to feel it. Just take it as a constructive feedback.
 
All of us here have loopholes in our stories, but I am sure all of us feel proud of our efforts. Believe me, one person has given me the least marks ever given to anyone in a story contest.  But I am at least 70% satisfied with my work, I am happy with what I wrote and I know that everyone has their likes and dislikes. I am not going Cry about it and apologising to everyone. Neither are the others.
 
Now please do not apologise to me or reply to this message with a page full of Cry smilleys or say that you will not 'roam around this forum' or use such terms. I will run away if I hear any more sorrys from you.


Edited by visrom - 04 October 2011 at 12:41am

gadhadada

Coolbie

gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010

Posts: 53899

Posted: 04 October 2011 at 12:51am | IP Logged
Originally posted by visrom

You know what GD., you go OTT with everything...be it your apology or whatever.
 
If you keep aplogising all the time and demeaning yourself, even when you genuinely apologise, people will not be able to feel it. Just take it as a constructive feedback.
 
All of us here have loopholes in our stories, but I am sure all of us feel proud of our efforts. Believe me, one person has given me the least marks ever given to anyone in a story contest.  But I am at least 70% satisfied with my work, I am happy with what I wrote and I know that everyone has their likes and dislikes. I am not going Cry about it and apologising to everyone. Neither are the others.
 
Now please do not apologise to me or reply to this message with a page full of Cry smilleys or say that you will not 'roam around this forum' or use such terms. I will run away if I hear any more sorrys from you.


i missed one of Ur CONTRADICT POINT DII... i think main nay ye likha tha kay SCREEN 5 was closed... in my CITY i usually moved to CINEPLEX where we saw 5 SCREEN... tou main nay usi ko put up kiya tha... SCREEN 5 open nahi tha per ABHIJEET SIr nay usay BOMB kay liyey hee open karwaya tha... lekin ho sakta hay likhnay mein kahein ghalati ho gayii ho...

visrom

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visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009

Posts: 27993

Posted: 04 October 2011 at 12:55am | IP Logged

My doubt was - when that screen was closed, how and why did some one in another screen shout 'bomb bomb'? I may have missed something...

 
 
Also GD, the above post is an explanation of your story, so please do not quote my above post as it's not connected to your post.
 
 


Edited by visrom - 04 October 2011 at 12:58am

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