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What about Ankur's dream?? (Page 3)

Angelbud Goldie
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Posted: 18 September 2011 at 3:40pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by tanthya

Originally posted by b2011

Losing a parent is traumatic at any age.  In this situation when both parents are lost, is it possible to overcome the loss within such a short period (hardly less than a month) and pursue one's dream.





Speaking from Personal experience, Yes !! it is possible ..Bas it depends on how focused and determined u r ..Much Like Arjuna and the eye of the bird  in Mahabarath !! Smile

Its not possible and the above is not correct! 
Rose_Petal IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 18 September 2011 at 3:43pm | IP Logged
My problem with Ankur fixing up Sandhiya's marriage isn't about it destroying her dreams. I just don't like the fact that he wants to get her married within two weeks! In this time he will have to find her a husband too...it would be different if the marriage had been set up earlier and now they were just going to carry out the rituals. But in the time he has (if this were in reality), how can he find a suitable person for her? Isn't it obvious to the groom's side that this this girl has become a burden for her family and so she's being dumped onto them? They can treat her as they want because she probably wont have a place to go after the marriage.

It would be easier to accept if he had tried to find a place for her to stay at like a hostel or relative's house but it didn't work out somehow. And this would be really selfless of Ankita if she could delay going abroad since there isn't any job ultimatum on her since her family got the visa for her. But I see how leaving two girls all by themselves may not be the best idea so this wouldn't be a top choice either. Ankur does have a good dilemma unfortunately. I wish he would at least talk about this with Sandhiya calmly and try to get her to see from his point of view instead of taking it all on himself and marrying her off.


Edited by Rose_Petal - 18 September 2011 at 3:44pm

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tanthya

Angelbud Goldie
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Posted: 18 September 2011 at 3:44pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by JensonMishti

Originally posted by tanthya



Heyy My Lubbly Pals,


we have been going on and on about  how selfish, matlabi,khudgarz  Ankur is ?? we have derided him for not stopping over and allowing Sandhya  to fulfill her dreams ..But what about Ankur's dreams ?? ..Why r we not  looking at his dreams... hasn't he got a right to fulfill his own ..U may say not at the cost of Sandhy'a dream but then Can Sandhya  be allowed to fullfill her dreams at the cost fo Ankur's ??


As Ankur so rightly pointed out , getting into UPSC  is no child's play..sandhya may or may not crack it in the first year , her dream is a distant hazy goal ..it is not tangible  whereas Ankur's dream is already being realized ..it is tangible ...would not it be realistic and practical for Ankur to pursue what already is in his  hands than something which may never happen ..


Another pertinent point that Ankur raised was  Sandhy'a dream after her Marriage .. sad but true..many girls have given up their careers to maintain   their family ..what if Sandhya is forced to do the same  [  there is a high probability of this as her choice is rather different ]..then would not Ankur's sacrifice  be a waste ..this will definitely lead to resentment in his bosom ..


There is another  option that CV's have completely neglected to consider/tackle  .. That is the option of becoming a hosteler or PG .. This way both can achieve  their dreams and ofc we will not be gettin the DB LOLLOL


Di...agree with you...the only issue I have is the 15 day marriage ...No brother should force his little sister...just to fulfill his dreams...but why does he want her to get married? I mean Sandhya can start working and then continue studying...and as I have highlighted in your post..true...why cant she stay in a PG?

AS far as Ankur being selfish...well the only part made me Angry was the 15 day issue...other wise going to US for his career...its his choice and right...he is not selfish if he wants to follow HIs dream...

But the its star plus...so  LOL LOL



No brother should have any right over his sister full stop!  In the UK and USA we do it our own way! Sanshyas brother is indeed selfish! Oh well i suppose Sandhya should be grateful she wasn't terminated at birth, lets face it Ankur wants to terminate her career!  He didn say he would send her any of his money did he!  He's a great big fat guy and she's thin! He probably eats her dinner as well! 
poppy2009 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 18 September 2011 at 6:49pm | IP Logged

Hi Tanthya,

Lovely post, as usual!
 
Even I don't think that Ankur is being selfish! Infact, he is being very practical and his argument in favour of going to US was quite solid! Sandhya might be talented and smart, but she is still talking in the air, while Ankur has the oppourtunity in his hands right now!
 
Also, I did not understand on what basis did Ankita support Sandhya instead of her own husband! It was very unrealistic! What wife would choose to stay with her sister-in-law instead of her husband?Confused
 
What I did find odd was Ankur wanting to get Sandhya married off so soon, because he wants to leave for the US! Don't they have a single living relative? Or as you said, put her into some hostel or something! Marriage is a huge decision and to get a 19 year old married off in a span of a fortnight is quite questionable!
 
But I suppose, the creatives had little other option to show Sandhya and Suraj's wedding! Ankur will probably get to know about Suraj's background and yet get Sandhya married to him, because of the time limit!
 
 

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JensonMishtib2011ssweety007tanthya

tanthya IF-Addictz
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Posted: 18 September 2011 at 10:36pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ssweety007

thanks dii for the postBig smile
Agree to the points of Ankur...but marriage is definitely not the answer...
Here luckily for Sandhya...she gets a good life partner in Suraj...but everyone wont be this lucky...if she had problems in her marital life...the entire blame would be on Ankur...he'll be the only one responsible...

Even i felt the same thing...actually both of them can realize their dream...
Sandhya can opt for either a hostel facility or PG...else she can also stay with some relatives... it is not that dont have any relatives in the world...
Ankur could go abroad and also help her financially...

That would be practical..instead of marrying to some random family...
But as always no show is practical nor logicalLOL...


My Pleasure, Suji ..

Marriage can never be a arrangement...it is a beginning of  a new relationship which shud happen after both the parties are agreeable ..

Even if Ankur did force Sandhya, i would not exonerate Sandhya entirely..Did she fight for her dreams apart from chastising Ankur for his so called betrayal and sending him on a guilt trip by comparing him to her father ..Did she bring up alternative arrangements  which was shot down by Ankur? Did she think of a way on how she would be paying the fees  when the house is mortagaged... She has not done any of this.. we see her with a pencil and a book... How will her dreams fulfill when she is not proactively chalking a path ..


Practical, Logical,sensible .. they are very far from  depiction of a plot in serials LOLLOL

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b2011ssweety007

tanthya IF-Addictz
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Posted: 18 September 2011 at 10:42pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by JensonMishti

Originally posted by tanthya

Originally posted by JensonMishti

Originally posted by tanthya



Heyy My Lubbly Pals,


we have been going on and on about  how selfish, matlabi,khudgarz  Ankur is ?? we have derided him for not stopping over and allowing Sandhya  to fulfill her dreams ..But what about Ankur's dreams ?? ..Why r we not  looking at his dreams... hasn't he got a right to fulfill his own ..U may say not at the cost of Sandhy'a dream but then Can Sandhya  be allowed to fullfill her dreams at the cost fo Ankur's ??


As Ankur so rightly pointed out , getting into UPSC  is no child's play..sandhya may or may not crack it in the first year , her dream is a distant hazy goal ..it is not tangible  whereas Ankur's dream is already being realized ..it is tangible ...would not it be realistic and practical for Ankur to pursue what already is in his  hands than something which may never happen ..


Another pertinent point that Ankur raised was  Sandhy'a dream after her Marriage .. sad but true..many girls have given up their careers to maintain   their family ..what if Sandhya is forced to do the same  [  there is a high probability of this as her choice is rather different ]..then would not Ankur's sacrifice  be a waste ..this will definitely lead to resentment in his bosom ..


There is another  option that CV's have completely neglected to consider/tackle  .. That is the option of becoming a hosteler or PG .. This way both can achieve  their dreams and ofc we will not be gettin the DB LOLLOL


Di...agree with you...the only issue I have is the 15 day marriage ...No brother should force his little sister...just to fulfill his dreams...but why does he want her to get married? I mean Sandhya can start working and then continue studying...and as I have highlighted in your post..true...why cant she stay in a PG?

AS far as Ankur being selfish...well the only part made me Angry was the 15 day issue...other wise going to US for his career...its his choice and right...he is not selfish if he wants to follow HIs dream...

But the its star plus...so  LOL LOL




Mishti, Hug,


So happy to see u ..Big smile..

I think if the 15 day deadline [ now it is 11 day's BTW] had not been there, Ankur would never have bothered   to get her married and would have allowed her to pursue her dreams ..Perfectly accept that None repeat None shud be forced into a  delicate and fragile institution called Marriage ..

As for working and studying.. I think it is the conservative BG speaking...Sandhya is not from  metro where working and studying girls are common Plus how  much can she earn being a fresher... her  salary will not even be sufficient  for covering the expenditure on books ... Another issue is that of time..UPSC is very grueling exam..U have to spend atleast 12-18 hours just studying .. where will she find the time to study if she were to work ...  Above all where will she stay ..She cant stay on in the house without a chaperone ..and this people are not even considering the alternative..TYpical SP Muddle !! Smile


Hmm...didnt think about that...i mean I guess if you have not lived in a small town...you wont understand the dynamics..I thought about how can CV's not think about PG...lol...whenI saw the 15 day episode... .that makes sense Di...conservative BG...

I am always there to read your posts Di... I alwasys do...Clap Hug Hug




Yup, Mishti, Mentality and the Society from which u have come and are going to stay will play a part in ur decision making...PG may be frowned upon but I donno why they are not looking into hostel facility ...


Thank you, Hon for ur support and lubb Hug

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b2011

ssweety007 Goldie
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Posted: 19 September 2011 at 12:25am | IP Logged
Originally posted by tanthya

Originally posted by ssweety007

thanks dii for the postBig smile
Agree to the points of Ankur...but marriage is definitely not the answer...
Here luckily for Sandhya...she gets a good life partner in Suraj...but everyone wont be this lucky...if she had problems in her marital life...the entire blame would be on Ankur...he'll be the only one responsible...

Even i felt the same thing...actually both of them can realize their dream...
Sandhya can opt for either a hostel facility or PG...else she can also stay with some relatives... it is not that dont have any relatives in the world...
Ankur could go abroad and also help her financially...

That would be practical..instead of marrying to some random family...
But as always no show is practical nor logicalLOL...



My Pleasure, Suji ..

Marriage can never be a arrangement...it is a beginning of a new relationship which shud happen after both the parties are agreeable ..

Even if Ankur did force Sandhya, i would not exonerate Sandhya entirely..Did she fight for her dreams apart from chastising Ankur for his so called betrayal and sending him on a guilt trip by comparing him to her father ..Did she bring up alternative arrangements which was shot down by Ankur? Did she think of a way on how she would be paying the fees when the house is mortagaged... She has not done any of this.. we see her with a pencil and a book... How will her dreams fulfill when she is not proactively chalking a path ..


Practical, Logical,sensible .. they are very far from depiction of a plot in serials LOLLOL
ya... as u said sandhya didn't protest much...other than blaming Ankur and comparing him with their dad...
Being a parent and being a brother is different and their responsibilities also differ...fathers have only thing left to do...that is make sure their children are being provided with what they want...whereas bro must look after his life,his future,his wife,his kids...etc.
Also Ankur's plan can be realized very soon... Whereas Sandhya only dreams of becoming an IPS officer...she hasn't thought abt how she will go forward with her studies...she knows that her bro is going to US soon...if she is 19(not sure) then she has to complete her graduation first...to get a decent job and work to save money...
But Ankur's decision of getting her married is also a hasty decision...

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b2011tanthya

tanthya IF-Addictz
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Posted: 19 September 2011 at 12:28am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ssweety007

Originally posted by Masakalli

i like the issue that youve raised...but i still think that ankur has acted selfishly - okay everyone has the right to fulfill their dream. But if he really loved his sister he would put his dream behind hers, and do whatever he can to fulfill her dream.
 
Who cares what happens in the future? Yes, I know many women choose to quit their career to concentrate on family/children and home, but Sandhya is not one of them - in fact she doesnt even want to marry yet! He should know his sister by now and give her a good start to her life and make her financially independent
 
I like the way the show is putting education on top of women's lists: THIS IS ESSENTIAL FOR EVERY WOMAN on earth XX


@bold...totally agree with uBig smileClap
i am not defending Ankur in any way...dont get mewrongLOL...but thinking from his point of view...he thinks that her dream of being an IPS officer is just a fascination towards the law & order...he may not know how serious she is in her determination to be one...

But here...both are right in their mind...Ankur wants to go abroad and Sandhya is becoming an obstruction...Sandhya want to be fulfil her dream and Ankur is becoming an obstruction...




yes, Suji ... and also he  understands that when it is marriage or job... sandhya will have to choose marriage.. that is the kind of upbringign she has had...from his POV..all this is  just awish fulfillment of a princess who may  junk it once her goal is achieved and all his sacrifice may prove to be futile ...She has to get him to realize how much this means to her.. he has to be aware of the determination , her will which sadly she has not displayed so far ..

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