What about Ankur's dream?? - Page 2

Originally posted by: tanthya

Heyy My Lubbly Pals,


we have been going on and on about  how selfish, matlabi,khudgarz  Ankur is ?? we have derided him for not stopping over and allowing Sandhya  to fulfill her dreams ..But what about Ankur's dreams ?? ..Why r we not  looking at his dreams... hasn't he got a right to fulfill his own ..U may say not at the cost of Sandhy'a dream but then Can Sandhya  be allowed to fullfill her dreams at the cost fo Ankur's ??


As Ankur so rightly pointed out , getting into UPSC  is no child's play..sandhya may or may not crack it in the first year , her dream is a distant hazy goal ..it is not tangible  whereas Ankur's dream is already being realized ..it is tangible ...would not it be realistic and practical for Ankur to pursue what already is in his  hands than something which may never happen ..


Another pertinent point that Ankur raised was  Sandhy'a dream after her Marriage .. sad but true..many girls have given up their careers to maintain   their family ..what if Sandhya is forced to do the same  [  there is a high probability of this as her choice is rather different ]..then would not Ankur's sacrifice  be a waste ..this will definitely lead to resentment in his bosom ..


There is another  option that CV's have completely neglected to consider/tackle  .. That is the option of becoming a hosteler or PG .. This way both can achieve  their dreams and ofc we will not be gettin the DB 😆😆

Di...agree with you...the only issue I have is the 15 day marriage ...No brother should force his little sister...just to fulfill his dreams...but why does he want her to get married? I mean Sandhya can start working and then continue studying...and as I have highlighted in your post..true...why cant she stay in a PG?

AS far as Ankur being selfish...well the only part made me 😡 was the 15 day issue...other wise going to US for his career...its his choice and right...he is not selfish if he wants to follow HIs dream...

But the its star plus...so  😆 😆


Edited by JensonMishti - 12 years ago

Originally posted by: JensonMishti

Di...agree with you...the only issue I have is the 15 day marriage ...No brother should force his little sister...just to fulfill his dreams...but why does he want her to get married? I mean Sandhya can start working and then continue studying...and as I have highlighted in your post..true...why cant she stay in a PG?

AS far as Ankur being selfish...well the only part made me 😡 was the 15 day issue...other wise going to US for his career...its his choice and right...he is not selfish if he wants to follow HIs dream...

But the its star plus...so  😆 😆

Mishti, 🤗,


So happy to see u ..😃..

I think if the 15 day deadline [ now it is 11 day's BTW] had not been there, Ankur would never have bothered   to get her married and would have allowed her to pursue her dreams ..Perfectly accept that None repeat None shud be forced into a  delicate and fragile institution called Marriage ..

As for working and studying.. I think it is the conservative BG speaking...Sandhya is not from  metro where working and studying girls are common Plus how  much can she earn being a fresher... her  salary will not even be sufficient  for covering the expenditure on books ... Another issue is that of time..UPSC is very grueling exam..U have to spend atleast 12-18 hours just studying .. where will she find the time to study if she were to work ...  Above all where will she stay ..She cant stay on in the house without a chaperone ..and this people are not even considering the alternative..TYpical SP Muddle !! 😊

Originally posted by: tanthya

Mishti, 🤗,


So happy to see u ..😃..

I think if the 15 day deadline [ now it is 11 day's BTW] had not been there, Ankur would never have bothered   to get her married and would have allowed her to pursue her dreams ..Perfectly accept that None repeat None shud be forced into a  delicate and fragile institution called Marriage ..

As for working and studying.. I think it is the conservative BG speaking...Sandhya is not from  metro where working and studying girls are common Plus how  much can she earn being a fresher... her  salary will not even be sufficient  for covering the expenditure on books ... Another issue is that of time..UPSC is very grueling exam..U have to spend atleast 12-18 hours just studying .. where will she find the time to study if she were to work ...  Above all where will she stay ..She cant stay on in the house without a chaperone ..and this people are not even considering the alternative..TYpical SP Muddle !! 😊

Hmm...didnt think about that...i mean I guess if you have not lived in a small town...you wont understand the dynamics..I thought about how can CV's not think about PG...lol...whenI saw the 15 day episode... .that makes sense Di...conservative BG...

I am always there to read your posts Di... I alwasys do...👏 🤗 🤗

They are determined to get Sandhya married but at least can show all the alternatives of approaching some uncles, aunts or even Ankitha's family.  In today's society, people do not accept to take responsibility of girls, especially teenage girls, even if she is a close relative.

Originally posted by: b2011

They are determined to get Sandhya married but at least can show all the alternatives of approaching some uncles, aunts or even Ankitha's family.  In today's society, people do not accept to take responsibility of girls, especially teenage girls, even if she is a close relative.

Yes !! They shud have done that, Bharathi ...  I am sure each and every one of the relatives would have hesitated to keep a young,unattached girl for 2 years [ 6 months they might have agreed ]  ..Ankur then opting for marriage would have created a  slightly sympathetic impression's about him..

Teenage girls-yai vaikkradhu Madiyile thee kattindu irukira maadhiri ...😊

Thnx tanthya 

Originally posted by: tanthya

Speaking from Personal experience, Yes !! it is possible ..Bas it depends on how focused and determined u r ..Much Like Arjuna and the eye of the bird  in Mahabarath !! 😊

My problem with Ankur fixing up Sandhiya's marriage isn't about it destroying her dreams. I just don't like the fact that he wants to get her married within two weeks! In this time he will have to find her a husband too...it would be different if the marriage had been set up earlier and now they were just going to carry out the rituals. But in the time he has (if this were in reality), how can he find a suitable person for her? Isn't it obvious to the groom's side that this this girl has become a burden for her family and so she's being dumped onto them? They can treat her as they want because she probably wont have a place to go after the marriage.

It would be easier to accept if he had tried to find a place for her to stay at like a hostel or relative's house but it didn't work out somehow. And this would be really selfless of Ankita if she could delay going abroad since there isn't any job ultimatum on her since her family got the visa for her. But I see how leaving two girls all by themselves may not be the best idea so this wouldn't be a top choice either. Ankur does have a good dilemma unfortunately. I wish he would at least talk about this with Sandhiya calmly and try to get her to see from his point of view instead of taking it all on himself and marrying her off.
Edited by Rose_Petal - 12 years ago

Originally posted by: JensonMishti

Di...agree with you...the only issue I have is the 15 day marriage ...No brother should force his little sister...just to fulfill his dreams...but why does he want her to get married? I mean Sandhya can start working and then continue studying...and as I have highlighted in your post..true...why cant she stay in a PG?

AS far as Ankur being selfish...well the only part made me 😡 was the 15 day issue...other wise going to US for his career...its his choice and right...he is not selfish if he wants to follow HIs dream...

But the its star plus...so  😆 😆

Hi Tanthya,