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Devki's Divorce Decision

Mehek25 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 16 September 2011 at 9:30pm | IP Logged
Friends this is the first time I am making a new post on MB forum. I have followed this show from Day1 and have loved it to the core (barring the V-S track which dragged). Getting back to the topic of the post...since D signed on the divorce papers and sent V to get S back almost all the viewers (including me) were scolding her for the decision and calling her a fool to send V after S. 

Initially I too was of the same opinion. But when I though over her action rationally I realised that what she did was not all foolish. Had I been Devki what would my reaction have been? Would I have tied V down to a loveless marriage?

Friends when D heard V's admission to S he clearly said he has always loved her (S) and will always love her and although D is his  very good friend (ha ha) he will never be able to love her. Would this not have hurt D? I bet she would have been hurt to the core of her being hearing this confession.

Without going into details of the family's reaction now comes the worst part of the hurt. D signed the divorce papers which V had given her on their wedding night. Do u all think that while signing those papers she would not have had a tiny ray of hope in her heart that V would tell her not to sign? I bet she would have at least had a wee bit of hope that that would happen. But when V did not say anything her final bubble would have burst. Would not that have hurt her yet again?

Not only that but when she said go and get S that idiot leapt at the idea, took the bag his wife had packed and went frolicking away to get his GF back.  

Now comes my question...was D right in what she did...I would say yes she was right...V's actions all went tom show her that come what may he would never have any feelings for her other than friendship. When there is not even the slightest hope of progressing beyond friendship, why should she hold on to V or to her marriage? She loves him desperately but would it not be better to make a clean break from the relationship rather than take the torture of seeing him pining day-in and day-out for another girl? That would have made her die a thousand deaths seeing him like that every day they were together.

I don't know if my post makes any sense or not because although I am a voracious reader I am no writer. But I have simply tried to pen down my thoughts on the confusion that is going on in all our minds as to did Devki do the right thing? Even our Dark Lord IMV should understand this. And who better to explain this to him than his own wife? She too has been living a loveless married life since a long time. But at least she has her children. In D's case that is not even a remotely possible thing. I feel it would be best for her once S comes back with V to make a clean break from the Viranis and to move on with her life. No doubt she can give competition to them in the business world but personally she needs to start her life with a clean slate...I know all this is easier said than done. But one could always try. (In my heart of hearts I am hoping S does not come back and V at least realises that D means a bit more to him than a friend but considering the way he ran after like a love-sick puppy I doubt that will happen. But there's no harm in hoping is there?). 

Sorry if I have bored u all by this never-ending post. 

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Posted: 16 September 2011 at 10:09pm | IP Logged
hmmm... legitimate topic.. lemme put it logically..

when D married.. She KNEW what not to expect from VV.. LOVE.. she was TOLD SO.. yet she did it for BBs sake.. I think everyone concurs on this..

Through her small journey with V she came to love him.. and who wouldn't.. he had once been her friend, philosopher and guide.. and once in love she started building some dreams.. had some hope that maybe he would be willing to give her a chance.. them a chance.. and hence she wrote the letter.. I have some dreams, some expectations from this marriage.. besides the compromise..  but if you DONT THINK SO.. then I will NEVER WANT TO LOSE your friendship and remain your wife socially but be your friend forever..

So WHAT CHANGED.. She found out.. WHO the past was.. and that She had no HOPE.. 2 very strong realization.. and the BIGGEST ONE.. The WHO-Sabina STILL loved him.. now break it up.. one you have given out.. the hope one.. she saw none.. fair ENOUGH.. now the WHO.. had it been someone she did not know... She wouldnt or couldn't have made a call like that.. but this was Sabina-ji.. someone she came to admire and love too.. and thirdly Sabina-Ji LOVED him too.. STILL DID.. 

Now.. She signed the papers.. but was it FOR HERSELF.. had reason 1 and 3 been different and if she had still divorced it would have been so.. but now it WASN'T.. the decision was made for VV and sabina.. as much as herself or maybe more for them.. when one makes a decision for herself its a stronger statement.. compare and contrast.. CP made a decision for herself.. LEAVE her domesticity.. did she look back.. at her 3 yr old daughter.. NOPE.. coz the decision as hard and rough it may be was for her peace.. now compare to D.. She still hasn't left.. is imposing her views.. waiting for Sabina to come back..

So in my mind its pretty established the decision was made much more for VS than just for herself.. She is used to do things for others.. She married for BB.. now is breaking the marriage for VS.. If she wanted to break free.. she wld have left long back.. disaccossiated with the family.. She told IMV ye ek adhoorey insaan ko jodne ki koshish hain.. so its meant for VV.. she loves him but cant see him in pain..understood..

Now.. If she made the decision for others.. V stands first in her priority.. granted.. but do BB, IMV, Charu.. everyone stand behind Sabina and VS in her priority list.. what they want.. how can she impose herself on them.. presume BB wont lose health over it.. 

Now coming to IMV.. he too has loved.. but knows that in spite of not being in love a marriage can linger and well enough in his standards of social codes.. he puts his empire, his legacy as a priority.. just as D is putting VS.. if she is right and doesnt wanna think of IMV.. why should he think about her priority.. which is NOT EVEN HERSELF..if her priority was herself.. she wld be thinking what next for herself.. IMV has asked her tht505373  times.. what will u do.. what will bb say.. where will u go.. wat abt yer business.. has she tht of any of that..in fact in his scheme of things.. D falls into a priority.. as she is CPs daughter.. and his bahu.. much more than D thinks for herself..

much as I understand about what you are saying that its tough to be in a loveless marriage.. D had prepared herself for it.. the day she did decide to marry... and if seen.. now its ever better coz she loves him.. her love cld be enough for both of them.. but nope only coz she wants Sabina and Vs love to be fulfilled she is doing such..

Lastly Sabina has less of a scope in this story.. coz she is NOT CPs daughter.. she hardly has any connection to IMV.. and Ds connect with IMV is stronger.. so D aint going anywhr from Virani household... with or without VV.. he either comes around or dies.. I see no possibility of a VS.. and if you have seen this show from the beg.. you will see.. NO ONE HAS LIVED WITH THEIR LOVE..LOL thats the whole theme.. Life is bigger than human desires.. and we work around it.. 

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koolsadhu1000 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 16 September 2011 at 10:19pm | IP Logged
I don't fault her decision . She is perfectly within her rights to take it after hearing his decisive speech about how he will NEVER be able to love Devki EVER .

Where she is wrong : 

In insisting Sabina should be bahu of this house and how she is waiting to welcome her and then move out . She should move out NOW if she intends to divorce . With quiet dignity . Whether Vaibhav marries Sabina or not is NOT her problem .  Whether IMV accepts Sabina or not is IMV's decision to make . 

Even telling Vaibhav that u fight for ur love and take stand against IMV for Sabinas sake is not good .  

The real thing is she crossed boundaries .

While I support her decision to divorce [ and secretly hope it NEVER happens as i prefer VD pair}  I do not support her crossing her boundaries and insisting IMV accept Sabina as bahu .

I also do not like the fact that befoore taking this huge step she did NOT bother to talk to BB or IMV himself . IMV was the last to know in his house , she told ALL . That was disrespectful as it was he who had brought her in the house by proposing rishta with his son .


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Posted: 16 September 2011 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
I totally disagree  she was disrespectful to IMV. It was her decesion and only hers to sign the divorce papers she did not need anybody's permission. Why should she stay in a loveless marriage just to keep her  husband family happy.  I totally support her decision and the way she did it. ClapClapClap
My only concern is she is going to run herself ragged trying to help everyone and collapse. I don't want V to come back because she is sick or hurt I want him to realize that she is his  life partner. Yes S is the love of his life, but who understand him, support his decisions who is there to encourage him when he needs it...D is.

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Mehek25

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Posted: 16 September 2011 at 11:18pm | IP Logged
no it was not wrong , after seeing vv drunk acts and his jigar kaa khoon dialogues
, it was a perfect decison 
but telling him to after saboo, and asking other ppl to accept them is wrong
its not her business and its not her right
but in a way i am glad , it will show me the real vv now,
will he give his jigar kaa khoon or will some sense comes back to him

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koolsadhu1000 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 17 September 2011 at 7:24am | IP Logged
I totally disagree  she was disrespectful to IMV. It was her decesion and only hers to sign the divorce papers she did not need anybody's permission.

I did not say she needed to ASK his permission . It was indeed her decision to sign alone . But she gathered all and TOLD them and IMV was not informed , he ws not there in that meeting . IMV is the head of that house , her sasur . That was totally disrespectful . It is against etiquette of an arranged marraige especially . When u break an arranged marraige , families need to be told properly . As its the families who arrange the alliance . Even BB deserves to know , she has disrespected her own grandfather . I repeat , she does not need to ASK . But she defo needs to TELL properly . Even more than Siddarth or Nirali , its BB and IMV who should be apprised FIRST as they arranged the marraige . Thats sheer etiquette .

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Mehek25 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 17 September 2011 at 9:14am | IP Logged
@koolsadhu

While I support her decision to divorce [ and secretly hope it NEVER happens as i prefer VD pair}  I do not support her crossing her boundaries and insisting IMV accept Sabina as bahu .

I also do not like the fact that befoore taking this huge step she did NOT bother to talk to BB or IMV himself . IMV was the last to know in his house , she told ALL . That was disrespectful as it was he who had brought her in the house by proposing rishta with his son .
_____________________________________________________________
I agree with u on the point that she should not ask IMV or for that matter anyone in the family to accept S. Its their son's choice and whether or not they want to accept S as their DIL is purely upto them. Thats why I said that she must leave and make a fresh start for herself. If at all V comes back to her (and I so hope that he does), he should come because he cares for her however slightly, and not because she is in any sort of trouble (say financial or physical), or even because S refuses to come back with him or rejects his proposal for whatever reason. As for her decision to sign the divorce papers being disrespectful to BB or IMV it is possible that IMV was not around when she told the rest of the family. As fro BB she would definitely have to break it to him slowly knowing his physical condition. I am sure that D ids the last person to be disrespectful to anyone. The way she explained to IMV was also very good. He had come with the intention  of blasting her but just could not do so. But that did not stop him from using underhand ways to ruin her...or should I say he is doing all this to punish her?...Why should he be so selfish as to force her to continue with a loveless marriage? At this stage I think only CP can explain to him that it is not fair to force D to continue with this marriage. After all both CP and he had been forced into the same type of marriage.

In all this I feel sorry for D. she is trying to do good for all but is forgetting about herself. I think one should not always be so selfless and it is definitely not a bad idea to think of oneself above the well-being of others occasionally. And it is high time D started to live for herself instead of others. I think she needs someone in her life who will make her realise that. 

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Posted: 17 September 2011 at 10:19am | IP Logged
I agree with u on the point that she should not ask IMV or for that matter anyone in the family to accept S. Its their son's choice and whether or not they want to accept S as their DIL is purely upto them. Thats why I said that she must leave and make a fresh start for herself. If at all V comes back to her (and I so hope that he does), he should come because he cares for her however slightly, and not because she is in any sort of trouble (say financial or physical), or even because S refuses to come back with him or rejects his proposal for whatever reason. As for her decision to sign the divorce papers being disrespectful to BB or IMV it is possible that IMV was not around when she told the rest of the family. As fro BB she would definitely have to break it to him slowly knowing his physical condition. I am sure that D ids the last person to be disrespectful to anyone. The way she explained to IMV was also very good. He had come with the intention  of blasting her but just could not do so. But that did not stop him from using underhand ways to ruin her...or should I say he is doing all this to punish her?...Why should he be so selfish as to force her to continue with a loveless marriage? At this stage I think only CP can explain to him that it is not fair to force D to continue with this marriage. After all both CP and he had been forced into the same type of marriage.

In all this I feel sorry for D. she is trying to do good for all but is forgetting about herself. I think one should not always be so selfless and it is definitely not a bad idea to think of oneself above the well-being of others occasionally. And it is high time D started to live for herself instead of others. I think she needs someone in her life who will make her realise that. 

Well then she should have made sure he was around , shouldn't she Smile ? She should have announced her decision when ALL Viranis were present . Siddarth and Nirali r bachchas , the ELDERS decide the marraige and they need to be told . The people who needed to be emphatically present were IMV , Charu , BB , Master and Baa .  These elders HAVE to be told , there r no two ways about it . She need not ASK them , she has to TELL them . She was not disrespectful on purpose , but the action is disrespectful , unknown to her idealistic , youthful mind . IMV DID mind it , he remarked to Charu Did she bother Asking me before signing on Divorce papers or investing in films ? Well , one can dismiss the ASKING part , but he sure needed to be at that meeting , so did her grandpa.

I do not think she is being very sensible here in deciding to break the news to BB slowly . How is the news gonna be broken slowly or in bits and parts ? There is no other way to tell the news , except tell it in one line and relay the facts . Infact the more she delays , the poor man lives in illusion and hopes wrongly . It will be a bigger shock for him if he understands last . Imagine his shock when he understands that ALL knew and he was living in delusion . Some News r best told at the earliest . 

Regarding IMV being selfish and forcing her to live in a loveless marraige when both he and CP experienced loveless marraiges ...IMV is unashamedly selfish only my dear . Thats his character .Smile That said , I think its deeper than that this time . In his selfish way he IS looking out for CP's daughter and also his own son . THEY matter to him , not Sabina . IMV believes that with time , the remarkable friendship between D and V will change into love , all it needs is a chance . And to give it a chance the elders in the house should emphasize this on Vaibhav , D should behave like a woman not a martyr and attract Vaibhav's attention as she is his rightful wife and Vaibhav should pull himself up and agree to give a chance ...This is IMV's expectation , which can work IF GIVEN CONSIDERATION .

The problem is , no one is LISTENING to him . Not Vaibhav who believes his one month rendezvous is some eternal bond for life , not Devki who believes sacrificing herself and making way for his past flame is her duty , working on her marraige is not , not the elders who r nodding and dancing with Vaibhav's thoughtless decision without even weighing or considering the prudency of what IMV propogates , without even seriously thinking if Sabina really comes will she indeed be a fit bahu for their household . 

What happened to IMV and CP has taught IMV one thing , no marraiges in the world r perfect and one has to make them work .He really is not wrong . 

Regarding Vaibhav shud come to her only if he cares something for her ...thats not gonna happen so soon . Currently , if Vaibhav returns it shud be to help her out from a crisis . It can lead to more from there . I watch this show for IMV and VD equation . I won't mind this start . 




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