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SURROGATE RELATIONS # 4, PART 33 ON 13/10 (Page 149)

piya27 IF-Rockerz
piya27
piya27

Joined: 18 January 2011
Posts: 7222

Posted: 14 October 2011 at 1:26pm | IP Logged
plzzz 

show the past and try to update soon

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bangalores

Shimmerr IF-Dazzler
Shimmerr
Shimmerr

Joined: 07 February 2011
Posts: 3231

Posted: 14 October 2011 at 2:00pm | IP Logged
have sended you a pm dear.
pls have a look if you dont mindSmile

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bangalores

Mrs.MSKForever Senior Member
Mrs.MSKForever
Mrs.MSKForever

Joined: 31 January 2011
Posts: 266

Posted: 14 October 2011 at 4:22pm | IP Logged
PHEW!!!! seems like it had been for quite a long while since I last read the story...My god!! Bindu!! you been writing some "real" scenes there... well I think its fair to warn you that you will have a long post to read here since I might be talking of several things here!!! :-)
 
I can totally see the Maan and the Geet of the show doing these scenes...
Maan's frustration was so heart-felt...the way he subdued his uncontrolled frustration that geet was refusing to marry him, he felt scared that Geet might already be in love with someone else, least did he know of her soulful yearing for Maan's love... it portrayed the fact that how a person in love prays each moment that the person they love also reciprocates their feelings until confession and reciprocation of their love ...
 
the scene of their first night together made me recall the scene that was just after Nayantara's attempt to kill Geet in the party and Maan claiming Geet as his wife/partner thereafter... the scene you wrote is as palpable as that one... I loved how your Maan actually asked Geet's permission before doing what he had been itching to do when he saw her as a bride - take her in his arms... LOVED IT!!!! n to think that a show that at one point of time never had even 5 mins of boring screentime now needs to find even 5 mins of sensible story in it and Maan and Geet in the show have become clowns, a show that was a drama has now become a sitcom ... it makes me feel like doing some bodily harm to the dumbheads who dont listen to the innumerable fans cursing them... I guess they have decided that its time for the golden goose to die!! Confused Sad but their behavior doesnt leave room for any other conclusion about their intentions...
 
anyway, back to your story ... the second most endearing scene... the morning after...Geet, even in her subconscious knows Maan's touch... reminded me of the show's scene where Geet is in Maan's room when she falls ill running after him during the pregnancy revelation track... the way geet held Maan's hand showed her desperation then to keep Maan near her, with her,beside her...yours was more for the appropriateness of akwardness of  behaviour between a couple who is not in loverly relationship but fighting to distinguish between friendship and coupling... would love to see some more of these "friendly" morning afters...
 
To talk of the next scene, well I quite liked your Sameera here... the way she has understood Maan and graciously accepted the fact that you cant make anyone love you and its better to wait for someone who loves you than to go after someone whom you love knowing well that that person is NOT in love with you... its a recipe for disaster... I think your Sameera here is what Meera was for Geet in the show, giving up what she had loved(Dev) for what was right(making Dev surrender and accept his crime)... ohhh!!! again I have started thinking of the way the show has gone down the drain :( .. I think I need to focus on your story again!! ;-)
 
I love the shrewd businessman that MSK is... goaded brij to attack him and then sent him to jail to make sure the **%^&^%%^&*  rotts in the cell...he is such a swine in the name of a relative
Dadi has always been the sweet supportive pillar for Maaneet's relationship and I am glad that Anju Mahendru left the show as soon as sanity left the show... whenever she has been part of the screentime it has always been for some intense drama!! Your Dadi here is as lovable as the screen Dadi...
 
The haldi doodh scene was a nice touch... loved the drying hair wala scene... its an apt thing to share between married couple I suppose... but Geet on Maan's lap and then Geet tending to Maan in a way married couple at times do, was sooo awww ... keep putting in such fab scenes inbetween to build the sizzling chemistry between them
 
I loved the fact that Rudr still addresses Geet as chotu... a sibling love that shines out bright...I can very well see the warmth of a brother's love in his behavior...Rudr and Sam as pair... was a great start there...
 
So after enough of blabber about what I read and felt( I read some 4-5 parts here actually), here is my wishlist as always:
 
I would like to see another of Maan's business trip without Geet, though only an overnight one, how he would not want to go at first and then miss Geet in the evening and how Geet would be completely sleepless with no Maan there even though she knows there will be no harm to her ... a phone conversation lasting well into the early morning that puts them both to sleep would be icing on the cake... there!!! fir se main lalchi banne lagi!! :D ...ghost writing your stories again...
 
A scene at the doctor's would be another one from my wishlist... not of ultrasound but a general checkup scene where Maan forgets Geet's appointment and lands up late... n Geet for the first time cribs... Maan could just be in awe of the way Geet has exercised her rights for the first time...
 
Is there going to be any "Annie" in the story too?? I wish there is, later in the story though... a girl who is almost Geet's age, but so unlike her - independent, carefree and assertive ... would give a chance opening to Geet to realize what she can be, irrespective of her past.
 
I would like a baby daddy scene too... Maan talking to the baby in the womb, the baby kicking n Maan for the first time feeling it... n then telling Geet how he misses his parents even thoough they left the world after he was much older...geet would then realize that it would be hard for her to walk out on this marriage not just because she loves Maan but because she doesnt want her baby to grow up not knowing his/her mother coz as per the laws of surrogacy the baby still would be a Khurana and would belong with Maan...
 
OK I think enough of my blabberings... I am pretty sure I have taken up 1 full page... but I think it was long due! :D...so plz think of it as 5 different posts for the 5 updates that I didnt read on time :D
 
My excuse is: I was super0duper busy... cant tell u how much I had been itching to read this story... had come online briefly yesterday for like 5 mins, but after I read some lines of the part 32 I got completely confused so logged off ki ab tab hi padhungi jab time mile... n fir aaj raha nahi gaya toh padh hi daala... wo bhi meeting mei... imagine!!! :D
 
Great Job Bindu!!! Wish I had the capability to write such great stories n with such clear thoughts!!


Edited by Mrs.MSKForever - 14 October 2011 at 4:28pm

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bangalores

gunjar Goldie
gunjar
gunjar

Joined: 13 March 2011
Posts: 2476

Posted: 14 October 2011 at 11:18pm | IP Logged
loved the update...
happy to c their relationship changing soon.
continue soon...:_

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bangalores

blueopal IF-Rockerz
blueopal
blueopal

Joined: 06 July 2010
Posts: 5004

Posted: 15 October 2011 at 12:03am | IP Logged
hey  am  back...
awesome  updates  dSmile...
geet   taking  care  of  maan  wasDay Dreaming...chooo  cute...
i  loved it...looking   fwd...

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bangalores

-bansi- IF-Dazzler
-bansi-
-bansi-

Joined: 14 February 2011
Posts: 4804

Posted: 15 October 2011 at 12:43am | IP Logged
Time for a new thread...
yaaayyy... Party
chalo chalo bindu open up a new thread wid a new update...!!

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bangalores

bangalores IF-Rockerz
bangalores
bangalores

Joined: 02 November 2010
Posts: 8334

Posted: 15 October 2011 at 12:51am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -bansi-

Time for a new thread...
yaaayyy... Party
chalo chalo bindu open up a new thread wid a new update...!!


thank u...
will start a new thread...but update not today...got to finish some cooking firstSmile

The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

huny.thebest-bansi-Shruthe..hinal..

-bansi- IF-Dazzler
-bansi-
-bansi-

Joined: 14 February 2011
Posts: 4804

Posted: 15 October 2011 at 1:31am | IP Logged
Originally posted by bangalores

Originally posted by -bansi-

Time for a new thread...
yaaayyy... Party
chalo chalo bindu open up a new thread wid a new update...!!


thank u...
will start a new thread...but update not today...got to finish some cooking firstSmile



ohhk...finish ur cooking...!!
will b waiting for the update...Embarrassed

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

bangalores

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