Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee

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The Mumbai Trip - Part II (Final Part) (Page 6)

Opti IF-Stunnerz
Opti
Opti

Joined: 14 October 2006
Posts: 28301

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 3:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by simm28

so good . every word is very beautiful. please do not finish it .write it more.u done a wonderful job . please please write it more . hope cv will see this do like this . show will be on top. so good 
Thanks simm. Sorry to disappoint you but  I cant write any more of this fic.
NANDY_BRU IF-Rockerz
NANDY_BRU
NANDY_BRU

Joined: 09 September 2010
Posts: 8036

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 3:51am | IP Logged
awesome

myramabin Goldie
myramabin
myramabin

Joined: 22 April 2011
Posts: 1703

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 4:24am | IP Logged
awesome really enjoyed it
Opti IF-Stunnerz
Opti
Opti

Joined: 14 October 2006
Posts: 28301

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 4:25am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Lily201

@Opti-- If the starting tugged the heart strings then the finale completely moved a person-- really I'm still recovering from the effects the story telling had on me-- tons of KudosClapStarClap
 
You expressed from start to finish -complete with all the reasoning the various ups & downs, peaks & pitfalls one undergoes ,when a person has lost memory --but holds on to one figment of deja vu sentiments that ties one to their loved one...
 
The way you expressed Geet's grievance and Maan's undersanding of it plus his views on the matter were detailed to perfection--not to mention the involvement of Samira in changing his attitude to the worse and last but not the least the reconciliationEmbarrassedBig smile
Thanks Lily.  I dont know what happens when one loses one's memory but tried to imagine it while adapting this scene.  I so wish Sam makes an entry either in physical form or atleast in conversation between Maaneet.  I want that loop to be closed once and for all before they wind up this show but I guess it will remain a wishful thinking. 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Lily201

Opti IF-Stunnerz
Opti
Opti

Joined: 14 October 2006
Posts: 28301

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 4:27am | IP Logged
Originally posted by tazeen_29

  This is amazing ..perfect writing which is needed in the show in current Maaneet situations ...they should show these actions and reactions with powerful conversations btw them like the dialogues you've written...  are so perfect they should use in the Mumbai track..Ihope ...very well written ...Clap You should post this to Geet Cvs so they will get some idea to make the maaneet situations more sentimental...and attractive..superlike it dear ..WELL DONEBig smile!!!!
thanks tazeen.  Dont know any of the CVs to write to them.
XSilentPrayersX IF-Sizzlerz
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Posts: 20397

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 4:30am | IP Logged
Loved it opti 
hermoso IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 11 September 2011 at 4:35am | IP Logged

that was really beautiful and cute . loved it .

Opti IF-Stunnerz
Opti
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Joined: 14 October 2006
Posts: 28301

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 4:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by panchjun5

Hey Opti...Had read the first part yesterday and found it truly sensuous...I love the way you bring out the subtle nuances in a marital relationship...the sexual tension, the feeling of passion, the total submission...excellent...For Geet, this was not the first time with her Maan, so when he made advances, she completely submitted to him...for her, it was like finding an oasis of love in the midst of a dry thorny desert...
 
Perfectly described. Yes, Geet remembers the times she has been intimate with her man and having been deprived of that closeness for so long, she more than welcomed it when he approached her. 
 
 
But for Maan it was the first time and it was totally physical (according to him) for him...So he decide to stop himself...And that must have taken a really strong willpower...which he has...
 
Yes, stopping in the nick of time is more difficult for a man than a woman but then our Maan has a steely willpower.
 
 
But later when he was alone, the man that he is he immediately realised what his action must have done to Geet and went to soothe her ...but was too late...
 
Yes, he realised what he did was wrong but she had cried herself to sleep before he could really apologise to her.
 
I wish the CVs took a note from your writing and implemented it in their own screenplay...Wish Wish WIsh...Hmmm...

Coming to the second part, The morning after...excellently depicted with the kind of back to square one scenario for both of them... Maan's guilt and inner turmoil and Geet's hurt at his rejection was very well portrayed...Geet found her inner strength and became what she is today because of what Maan said and did in the past...For her, he is her everything ...and when he rejected her...she suddenly felt worthless and completely lost...
 
Bang on yet again.  It is difficult for anyone to face rejection and Geet having gone through so much and for whom Maan was everything, a rejection from him hurt her very badly.
 
 
And when Maan saw her lying in the foetal position on the bed in the hotel...he realised, how much he had hurt her and went about rectifying his mistake...I loved the lines..."I do not want to merely fall in love with you, but rise in it. Rising is, however, slow and arduous, requiring a lot of effort and perseverance which I am willing to put in. Will you give me the time to understand you better and rise in love with you?" ...Beautiful, Beautiful lines...And once Geet got to know the reason behind her man's actions...she was willing to wait for him...forever and a day...Smile

Thanks Kavi. Geet will do anything for her man and especially after being so clearly explained to by him, there wasn't any hesitation on her part to give him the time he needed. 



Opti, wish the CVs would show us something like this...but knowing the CVs and their propensity to do exactly opposite of that which we wish...I truly fear we are going to be shown something inane...Anyways, will be happy that with your OS, atleast I was able to imagine what it would be like if Maan and Geet were to enact this and I will satisfy myself with that...LOLLOL...
 
I write these fics to fulfill what I want to see on screen.
 
So once again, I have blabbered on and on after reading your OS...And I will stop by saying that...You are too good...Smile...ClapThanks Kavi. Always a pleasure to read what you have to say.

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