Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee

   

The Mumbai Trip - Part II (Final Part) (Page 4)

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saam123

Goldie

saam123

Joined: 27 July 2011

Posts: 1759

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 1:41am | IP Logged
so good . every word is very beautiful. please do not finish it .write it more.u done a wonderful job . please please write it more . hope cv will see this do like this . show will be on top. so good 

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Opti

IF-Stunnerz

Opti

Joined: 14 October 2006

Posts: 27739

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 1:51am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Maaneet06

AMAZING!!!
Thanks

Opti

IF-Stunnerz

Opti

Joined: 14 October 2006

Posts: 27739

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 1:57am | IP Logged
Originally posted by serialwatcher16


Opti,

That was a good way forward. How I wish we could have atleast a part of it in the serial but conversations are something that the cv's don't even want to put their effort into. sigh. 
Thanks Usha.  I too hope that they give us more conversations between Maaneet and with Barry in charge of dialogues, I'm sure he can do wonders if only given the opportunity.

Opti

IF-Stunnerz

Opti

Joined: 14 October 2006

Posts: 27739

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 1:59am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sumona_mona28

Wah awesome update...

thanks for the update...

I want that Geet will ignor Maan and then Maaneet's conversation as you wrote...

If Maaneet will go to Mumabai I think the rain seq will happen and the accident part as you mention in your first part...and we will get to see a Maaneet hug...

Wonderfull written ...I am wondered why CVS ko ye Idea nahi aata...
Thanks sumona. glad the story went as per your expectations.

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sumona28

Lily201

Goldie

Lily201

Joined: 04 April 2011

Posts: 1967

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 2:09am | IP Logged
@Opti-- If the starting tugged the heart strings then the finale completely moved a person-- really I'm still recovering from the effects the story telling had on me-- tons of KudosClapStarClap
 
You expressed from start to finish -complete with all the reasoning the various ups & downs, peaks & pitfalls one undergoes ,when a person has lost memory --but holds on to one figment of deja vu sentiments that ties one to their loved one...
 
The way you expressed Geet's grievance and Maan's undersanding of it plus his views on the matter were detailed to perfection--not to mention the involvement of Samira in changing his attitude to the worse and last but not the least the reconciliationEmbarrassedBig smile

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tazeen_29

tazeen_29

Goldie

tazeen_29

Joined: 01 December 2010

Posts: 2429

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 2:10am | IP Logged
  This is amazing ..perfect writing which is needed in the show in current Maaneet situations ...they should show these actions and reactions with powerful conversations btw them like the dialogues you've written...  are so perfect they should use in the Mumbai track..Ihope ...very well written ...Clap You should post this to Geet Cvs so they will get some idea to make the maaneet situations more sentimental...and attractive..superlike it dear ..WELL DONEBig smile!!!!

Edited by tazeen_29 - 11 September 2011 at 2:15am

panchjun5

IF-Rockerz

panchjun5

Joined: 15 June 2006

Posts: 6447

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 2:15am | IP Logged
Hey Opti...Had read the first part yesterday and found it truly sensuous...I love the way you bring out the subtle nuances in a marital relationship...the sexual tension, the feeling of passion, the total submission...excellent...For Geet, this was not the first time with her Maan, so when he made advances, she completely submitted to him...for her, it was like finding an oasis of love in the midst of a dry thorny desert...But for Maan it was the first time and it was totally physical (according to him) for him...So he decide to stop himself...And that must have taken a really strong willpower...which he has...But later when he was alone, the man that he is he immediately realised what his action must have done to Geet and went to soothe her ...but was too late...I wish the CVs took a note from your writing and implemented it in their own screenplay...Wish Wish WIsh...Hmmm...

Coming to the second part, The morning after...excellently depicted with the kind of back to square one scenario for both of them... Maan's guilt and inner turmoil and Geet's hurt at his rejection was very well portrayed...Geet found her inner strength and became what she is today because of what Maan said and did in the past...For her, he is her everything ...and when he rejected her...she suddenly felt worthless and completely lost...And when Maan saw her lying in the foetal position on the bed in the hotel...he realised, how much he had hurt her and went about rectifying his mistake...I loved the lines..."I do not want to merely fall in love with you, but rise in it. Rising is, however, slow and arduous, requiring a lot of effort and perseverance which I am willing to put in. Will you give me the time to understand you better and rise in love with you?" ...Beautiful, Beautiful lines...And once Geet got to know the reason behind her man's actions...she was willing to wait for him...forever and a day...Smile

Opti, wish the CVs would show us something like this...but knowing the CVs and their propensity to do exactly opposite of that which we wish...I truly fear we are going to be shown something inane...Anyways, will be happy that with your OS, atleast I was able to imagine what it would be like if Maan and Geet were to enact this and I will satisfy myself with that...LOLLOL...

So once again, I have blabbered on and on after reading your OS...And I will stop by saying that...You are too good...Smile...Clap


Edited by panchjun5 - 11 September 2011 at 2:56am

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Lily201

monikaseth

IF-Sizzlerz

monikaseth

Joined: 10 June 2005

Posts: 24051

Posted: 11 September 2011 at 2:19am | IP Logged
awesome... Big smile

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