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Omnipotent_Taco

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Omnipotent_Taco

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Posted: 12 February 2012 at 9:26pm | IP Logged

@ hades:

The problem I have with Tommy Jordan is that he's been putting his foot in his mouth ever since his video raked up a debate on good and bad parenting. He's been ranting about how his video was never meant to kick up a huge storm, that it was only meant for a select few, that he never meant for it to grab the eyeballs it did, etc.

He's supposed to be an IT guy. So I find it puzzling that it never occurred to him that YouTube videos can be made private and accessible to a maximum of 50 viewers. There's also an 'Unlisted' option in the 'Broadcasting and Sharing Options' menu in all user accounts, where only people with whom you've shared the vid link can check out the video.

Due to that, I'm not buying into his 'I never meant for the video to become such a big deal' justification. He chose to upload his video as is, so he should've been damn well prepared for the consequences instead of crying wolf and going on the defensive against media outlets and 'therapists' who are now making the most of this situation to get their 2 minutes in the limelight. Jordan put himself out there of his own volition, so people are obviously either going to rip him to shreds or worship the ground he stands on.

So in effect, he's set yet another shoddy example (of not thinking about the consequences of his actions). Maybe his daughter doesn't care, maybe she's doing fine, and maybe things between the parents and daughter have been sorted. Good for them. But that does not in any way give Tommy any leeway for justifying the means he took to achieve the end.

That's not to say that I side with his daughter though. She really did come across as spoilt, and I actually empathized with him till he blasted those bullets through the lappy. Admittedly, I found the whole thing effing hilarious till what he did became an ideal of good parenting and people put him on a pedestal.

Leaving all assumptions aside that TJ may or may not be prone to wrecking things in the house and be an overbearing dad, the Laptop Armageddon bit was uncalled for. To me, it doesn't matter that people down South are more relaxed when it comes to gun use. He is a parent, and he did what he did citing parental frustration. So pulling a gun out and destroying your kid's possessions is a big no-no in my books. He may have explained his motives behind the whole deal to his daughter later on, and things may have been set right thereafter, but kids, especially teens, pick up a whole lot of subconscious cues by observing their peers and parents.

Like I said earlier, he'd have done better confiscating her 'luxuries' (not destroying them) and giving them off to people in need, which in my view would have been a nice way of teaching her what it means to value your belongings and be grateful for what you have. That's leaving aside his mistake of giving in to most of her demands for material possessions over the years, and then doing a complete 360 and expecting her to slog for each dollar.

TJ may have been brought up a certain way (and he certainly upholds it from the little I've read), but that doesn't mean that particular way of upbringing can be as effective for your offspring or the coming generations. Kids these days are certainly pampered and ill-mannered, but you can't keep blaming everything on technology, a higher disposable income, and peers. I don't believe in physical intimidation to discipline kids, but then again I don't believe in lax parenting either. If certain values are inculcated in children in their formative years, they may be more likely to practice them as teens. Most parents make the mistake of trying to teach their kids certain lessons when they are much older, and then get sleepless nights because everything they say falls on deaf ears.

Of course parents make mistakes. They're human after all, but the difference here is that TJ made his move public and thereby made himself open to both appreciation and criticism.

As for that MDA thing- that was a sweet and smart move by Tommy to save his ass. Now if only he'd used his IT skills to make that video private…

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 13 February 2012 at 9:18am | IP Logged

@Omnipotent_Taco – I still give Tommy Jordan the benefit of the doubt because I can still see reasons why he would not make the video private. He wanted his daughters peers to see as well. To a certain extent he probably wanted other parents to also see how and why he was putting his foot down. But this video went viral like crazy within a short period of time. It is completely plausible that he did not expect the video to be shared, tweeted, reposted so much and garner so much attention. Even Rebecca Black who made a video to get attention did not ask for or expect the response 'Friday' got.

 

I don't perceive him as crying wolf over what is going on. He admits to making a mistake and drawing so much attention. He seems to understand the fact that he will get extreme reactions on both sides. However, as a person he still does have a right to defend himself and ask people not to misunderstand who he is. That's exactly what he is doing. For me the fact that he is not trying to profit and shielding his family from publicity reflects that he did not do this to garner media attention or this sort of widespread attention.

 

I disagree with his method. I too find the shooting of the laptop extreme. But I can see where he may come from as well.  I've heard from a lot of parents who have said that confiscating is never effective, because children have mastered the art of playing their parents and eventually making them melt and forgive – and then the lessons impact is not there. Some have even made driven their children to Salvation Army or Goodwill and made them 'donate' gameboys, cellphones etc as a lesson. Then the kids end up bribing grandparents or relatives to eventually get things back on birthdays/Christmas etc or collect enough gift money to get what they want. [And this part is a major social challenge in the United States. – My parents were always able to control what gifts we got and any cash gifts had to be handed to my parents. For some reason in the states relatives have too much leeway in gift giving and it is deemed 'wrong' for parents to take back cash gifts that kids receive. Even if they think kids don't know the value of money yet, relatives will accuse parents of being greedy or harsh if they take the kids cash gifts]

 

 That is why some parents have tossed toys, gameboys etc into the dumpster right in front of their kids. The shock value that the parents are able and willing to actually 'destroy' these precious possessions makes a lasting impact. Usually parents who do this have tried other means to discipline their kids, but resort to such methods to drive a point. So I can see why a parent might 'shoot' a laptop instead of confiscation or donating away – to make an impact.

 

Is it right? That's a tricky question. For some kids you need something impactful or shocking to drive a point. For some other kids it crosses the threshold and breaks them into more chaotic rebellion. It's a precarious task for parents to find the right level of punishment that works for their kids and avoid being too lenient or too strict. Personally, I strongly advocate confiscation, giving away – and even garbage before violently shooting something. I do believe that destruction sends wrong messages. But I get why parents do that and as humans I think they have the leeway to snap or be extreme at times. As long as they eventually find the right balance and maintain it majority of the times. Most importantly as long as they never ever physically harm or abuse their kids simply because they got upset.

 

Tommy Jordan was collecting for MDA long before this incident so he does care about doing something for the cause. The fact that he diverted the money after the incident as well is probably a mixture of saving himself and the fact that he cares.

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Arwen.

souro

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souro

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Posted: 14 February 2012 at 6:42am | IP Logged
I don't really think one can anticipate that their video would go viral. If that was true there are thousands of bands out there who must be posting dozens of videos of their songs and would've loved to know the secret of how to make a video go viral. Just as their anticipation that their video would garner 1 million hits turns out to be naught, similarly a person's anticipation that only a 100 people surrounding his daily life will watch it might turn out to be too small an estimation.

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return_to_hadesArwen.

return_to_hades

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Posted: 14 February 2012 at 9:24am | IP Logged

I knew it Matt Bomer! I knew it! Neal Caffrey is way too dapper, too dapper even for a White Collar criminal.  And I don't even watch your show, just the trailers during my SVU fix.

 

Now if only people took my calls more seriously and didn't get so defensive, like folks out on DID.

Arwen.

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Arwen.

Joined: 30 September 2008

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Posted: 14 February 2012 at 9:47am | IP Logged
^^ What Confused?

EDIT: never mind .. I googled LOL




Edited by Arwen. - 14 February 2012 at 10:33am

return_to_hades

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Posted: 14 February 2012 at 10:25am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Arwen.

^^ What Confused?




Matt Bomer is a TV serial actor who came out as gay today. I called it a long time ago. I've never seen his shows but he always appears too suave and stylish to be straight. LOL My accuracy rate is improving. I wish people took it more seriously when I say Terence Lewis is gay. Oh well, that one might be the Ricky Martin road.


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Arwen.

Arwen.

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Arwen.

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Posted: 14 February 2012 at 10:34am | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by Arwen.

^^ What Confused?




Matt Bomer is a TV serial actor who came out as gay today. I called it a long time ago. I've never seen his shows but he always appears too suave and stylish to be straight. LOL My accuracy rate is improving. I wish people took it more seriously when I say Terence Lewis is gay. Oh well, that one might be the Ricky Martin road.




Honestly speaking.. its not a shocking news or anything .. Bomer wasn't closeted or anything .. but he sort of chose to NOT confirm because of his show ...

I remember when i first discovered White Collar, i googled him and read all this ... There are pics of him kissing some guy ... He also talks about being in a committed relationship and helping raise three kids ... So i guess he was as out as he could be without making a formal announcement ...


Ah... this will break my friends' hearts LOLLOLLOL they called me heartbreaker for telling them about Wentworth Miller and Mark Feehily

@Terence Lewis ... that one is so obvious... I didn't realize there were people out there who didn't suspect this

EDIT: by the way did u suspect Ricky Martin as well? That was a huge shock for me

and who else do u suspect?


Edited by Arwen. - 14 February 2012 at 10:40am

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 14 February 2012 at 10:47am | IP Logged

I'm not shocked or surprised by Matt Bomer. I actually knew absolutely nothing about him other than the White Collar ads that come when I watch SVU. I know a lot of girls find him super cute though. He has lovely eyes.

 

When I was a high school teenager and Ricky Martin came out with Maria, of course not. He was my Latin super hero, sex god!!! By the time of Livin La Vida Loca, my suspicions were forming and I was convinced a few years later. He kept denying the rumors though till he came out recently.  

 

Oh there are tons of people who think Terence is gay. Unfortunately, every time you bring it up some people say he is not and some people say that its insulting to him and pick a fight. I cant prove that he is gay, its just instinct you know. I don't mind that he's gay though. I'd still happily marry him. LOL

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