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Funny Jokes

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jannyjackson

Newbie

jannyjackson

Joined: 27 August 2011

Posts: 1

Posted: 27 August 2011 at 5:37am | IP Logged
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. 

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." 

"What?" said the puzzled groom. 

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?" 

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. 

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. 

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. 

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. 

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. 

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. 

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. 

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. 

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. 

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" 

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" 

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

  Funny Jokes


Edited by jannyjackson - 27 August 2011 at 5:43am

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thambu

IF-Achieverz

thambu

Joined: 12 October 2005

Posts: 111723

Posted: 27 August 2011 at 4:41pm | IP Logged
A teacher of  1 st grade  asked the small kid

what is your name ?

kid...  mera naam  surya prakash hai

teacher... oh no this is english class tell me in english

kid ... My name is sunlight

teacher... Embarrassed Embarrassed


 {  the kid translated even the name surya prakash into english as sunlight ROFL ]


Edited by thambu - 27 August 2011 at 4:42pm

ChocoLatte

IF-Rockerz

ChocoLatte

Joined: 01 April 2010

Posts: 5315

Posted: 27 August 2011 at 7:21pm | IP Logged
9 hidden facts -

1) 90% of people in Australia don't drink milk.

2) Snake's vision... is up to 5 km...

3) A man can touch sun if his body is completely surrounded by mercury.

4) No twins have been born up till now in Greenland.

5) Zebra doesn't have a liver.

6) All the above details are false.

7) Thanks for believing for a while.

8)Today is not April 1st.

9)But a fool is a fool on any day :p


Edited by Varsha.Arti - 27 August 2011 at 7:28pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

prachi25

ChocoLatte

IF-Rockerz

ChocoLatte

Joined: 01 April 2010

Posts: 5315

Posted: 27 August 2011 at 7:23pm | IP Logged
Simple IIT
Question

.

...

.

What is the solution for 2+2 = ?

Options:

a) 4

b) Four

c) IV

d) 4.0

.
.
AB PATA CHALA STUDENTS SUICIDE Q KARTE Hain...

ChocoLatte

IF-Rockerz

ChocoLatte

Joined: 01 April 2010

Posts: 5315

Posted: 27 August 2011 at 7:32pm | IP Logged
Teacher :- 1 book + 1 book ??
Student :- 2 books
Teacher :- 2 book + 2 book ??
Student :- 4 books

Teacher :- Now i will Ask u a difficult qus..
1354825 books + 2586925 books ??
Student :- Library..

Seedhi baat no bakwaas ||

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

prachi25

thambu

IF-Achieverz

thambu

Joined: 12 October 2005

Posts: 111723

Posted: 28 August 2011 at 3:33pm | IP Logged
^ wow!!!!   varsha jee...ROFL  your jokes made me laugh ...keep it up

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