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#15 In my arms
It's been almost a month now and I get up with those eyes haunting in my dreams. The eyes that once were unsure of me reading them now trust me. Without any words I could tell exactly what they are trying to convey and that makes me more confident about anything related to the guy who was once my boss and within 5 days my brother's son-in-law.
Everyone was excited for the wedding. From last month since the engagement everyone was busy planning the wedding except me and Arjun. I was so occupied in the Kash that I skipped my meals often and Arjun was busy in K.M business because bhai was not allowed to travel outside India by Rashi bhabhi. The days before wedding are cool na! whenever I think about them I feel lively. You live the best period of your life in those few days before tying a not forever. Two hearts become one and a new life begins with the happiest memories of your entire life. Shefu filled me with the news that I was unaware of that Rashi bhabhi was the same girl bhai told me about before I left my home. He was pretty much sure about their relationship and he took right step. Bhabhi is too good. Before marriage everything seems so magical. I was writing in my dairy when I noticed a tear drop fell on my dairy. I didn't realize it as my dear drop for a while because I was so engrossed in the thoughts of marriage, a happy marriage that I never realized I cried. The tears were a happy feeling but somewhere deep down I knew that they were a product of how sad I felt. The sad feeling that I never discussed with anyone not even Shefali. The feeling that I could feel for bhabhi I can never feel it for myself. Those before marriage days, that fun, that love and then tying to the man you love will never be my case. I may achieve everything in life yet the hollowness of never getting the love of my life will never be filled and will die along me. The happy things are never meant for me.
I always thought when Rashi bhabhi will be gone it means it's just four of us. As far as Shefali is concern I know she is pretty sure about Romit and planning to ask him about his feelings after few days. I have seen Romit, how he looks at her. How he moves around her. So possessive, protective, patient while she blabbers. They were so deep in love they might have not told each other yet but surely they know that they are meant to be together. I am really happy for shefu. Once Romit and shefu open up themselves shefu will permanently in this house. That's so weird but yet it's going to happen. Without any doubt both Malhotra's and Kapoor's will be double happy because this relation will make their bond stronger. Life is simple and cute for them. I wish it could have been same for me. I would love to have a loving husband, the one who cares for me, is possessive and protective of me, who is patient while I shop but that is just a dream which is never going to be a reality. It is said that morning dreams are always true though I don't believe in it I wish the dream of me getting married someday may come us a morning dream in my life. Nevertheless I know it very well that it is not possible.
"We were supposed to be at Delhi yesterday but we are here finishing our work as a substitute for our siblings." I muttered to myself while I drive home. Today I wanted to drive because I was stressed with the work. The U.K stuff was getting nastier each day. Thank god it was over and tomorrow afternoon I am flying to Delhi. Arohi must have already gone today I thought while I park my car in driveway. I was alone today. I like being alone but ever since this mystery girl have entered in my life I like to think about her. I like to study her moves so that next time she attacks me with her mind reading stuff I could cross her. It has now become my habit to study her even in my dreams. We hardly met in past one month but the effect she hold on me is close to………………
I opened the door with a password. It was 11.30 I came to my room took shower changed into pink t-shirt and blue trouser and came down to the kitchen. Skipping one time meal has become a daily business for me now and I could feel I am becoming weak. Thank god I do exercise. My mornings are always present as I see her from my room. She must have not noticed but when she leaves her room for breakfast to go to the sets I come out of room and head towards our gym. The angelic divine face every morning is actually bliss. My whole day is blessed by her one sight. How anyone can have such a pleasant effect on someone's life without even knowing that person properly? Oh I am wrong she can read me so she knows me it's me who is dumb who couldn't figure her out yet. Thinking I was about to move out of my room to go out to the kitchen to see if anything is left for me when suddenly I saw my flute lying in my drawer which I had kept open I don't know why. I loved playing music. Flute music is so pleasant. I was so busy with the work that I couldn't give enough time to my hobby. I went to the drawer and slowly took out the flute. I closed my eyes and put the flute to my mouth once I closed my eyes I could see her only her and nothing else. I begin with the music……….
I could hear a sweet melodious music from somewhere I couldn't locate from where. I was restless and sitting over in the room without finding the source is not in my genes so I opened the door of my room and started walking in the direction of the music. While I was walking I realized that the placid music was coming from the opposite room. Arjun's room. I was astounded. His room's door was slight open. I pushed it a little and stood on the door. He didn't realize I was there because I was so much immersed into the music that he was smiling to himself with closed eyes. That tone was heavenly I have never heard it before along with the tune I started to say some words at random I didn't know how it came to my mind I was instant…
Chahake bhi kehna paye
Dil ki baat dil mai chupaye
Bhaithe hai hum
Dil se dil ka
Rishta hai gehra
Phir bhi dilo mai
Kyu hai andhere
Jane na hum
Kash k eek din aisa aaye
Tum hum sath yu gungunaye
Dil ki bate juba keh jaye
Kash andhero mai kiran dikh jaye
She was singing and smiling. I couldn't believe that she has so much effect on me that with my eyes closed I saw her singing on my tune. This was amazing and I finished the tune and she too stopped singing and I slowly and carefully opened my eyes I didn't want her to go I wish she was standing in front of me and then….
The music stopped and now it was time to be back into the reality where Arjun will be watching me standing in his room. How could I lose control over me so much that I stepped into his room without permission. I was a little scared and hesitatingly I opened my eyes…….
She was really there with her eyes closed for a second and now slowly opening. She has got damn beautiful voice again as beautiful as she is. My mouth fell open looking at her and when I realized that she was opening her eyes I composed myself. I need to act cool.
He was staring at me the moment I saw into his eyes I knew he was shocked but he quickly hid his shock and stood composed. Before he says anything I should clear myself and without thinking much I began……..
"Arjun I am sorry I was sitting in the room and I heard the flute. I walked in the direction of the flute without realizing I am headed to your room. When I saw that room's door is open I stepped inside and I don't know what happened to me that I started singing. I know it's very stupid of me entering into someone's room without knock but believe me I was………"
I told him so fast that my own words didn't make any sense to me. I was falling short of air. My half words died on the way and I was breathing heavily. I was waiting for his reaction.
She said it so fast that I had to rewind the words to keep up with what she actually meant. The way she was standing in front of me guilty I knew she is embarrassed. Come on Arohi I am not a Hitler give me some credit I said to myself. She thought I'll shout at her but I was so damn happy with that song that I forgot where I was. I said softly…
"You have a very beautiful voice"
"You know it wasn't my…….." what did he say just now…
"Ha! Come again?" I didn't get what he meant may be I heard it but couldn't believe
Has she lost it? I told her that she has got a beautiful voice and she asks Come again? Whatever…
"I said you have a beautiful voice" I said making a moaning face.
Oh my God he gave me a compliment and I acted like a dumb. I tried to repair the damage that I have done.
"Oh Sorry and Thank you." I said blushing a little..
She blushed making me skip a heartbeat. I looked away before I lose control over me and start staring her like I am a moron.
"How you are here I thought you have left for the wedding." I asked making the awkward air around us normal.
So he wanted to make the air light. I was going to support him fully in this great and healthy cause
"Actually I am finishing the work tomorrow morning I had to cancel 2 shots because of some technical problem. When are you leaving to Delhi?" I asked him casually
"Tomorrow afternoon. And you?" I asked again my stomach was screaming out loud.
"I don't know may be evening." I said looking in the other direction. Right now I wasn't in mood to read him.
"Why don't we go together? I will cancel my afternoon ticket and we can fly in the evening together? That way we both will have a company. I am just suggesting, if you don't mind." I said avoiding looking at her yet trying to sound normal. I was playing with the flute in my hand.
Why the hell will I mind to such a wonderful company I thought to myself.
"Okay no problem I guess" I answered smiling at him.
"Aren't you hungry?" I asked him suddenly I wanted to change the topic and somehow I knew that he has not eaten anything.
Wow! This girl can really read me, god bless her.
"Actually I was heading to the kitchen when you know…." And I show her the flute raising my eyebrows.
"Is there anything left? I am sure you had your dinner." I asked her hoping that at least bread is left for poor Arjun.
"Yes I am done with the dinner. You come down I'll arrange plate for you." As I said this I ran out of the room without even glancing back. I was in hurry because I didn't want him to strive more.
While I was in his room I could see how well organized his room was almost opposite to mine. The blue shed made it feel boyish but it was grave. I felt it was same like the man in the room. Putting aside the thoughts I went to kitchen and started making dinner plate for him.
Even in the night gown she looked so wonderful. Simple but breathtaking. The way she ran before I could say thanks I guess she knew that I am going to argue saying No to her. I still couldn't understand my bond with her.. There was something hidden.
As I came to dining table I saw plate ready on the table but she was nowhere. So I thought she must have gone to sleep. But after I finished my food and was going to wash my dish she came out of thin air and took away the plate form me speaking nothing. While she arranged the plate I sat on the couch reading India Today suddenly something came to my mind..
I turned and saw her heading upstairs. I called her
I was going to bed when I heard Arjun calling me. I didn't relies I haven't said good night to him.
I turned and said
"I was thinking if you can dance" I said casually
Huh! What was wrong with this guy he was behaving very…. Normal……
"What you mean? Of course I can dance" I said smugly
I got up and moved towards her
He was coming to me and I wanted to run away but I am not showing my weakness I ordered myself to stay there.
I stood in front of her my eyes looking into her eyes
"Will you dance with me?" and I put my hand forward.
What the hell was going on but whatever it was even I wanted to see how a business man dance
I slowly put my hand in his hand and from nowhere the music began….
I made it sure setting the timer on the remote that the music will start as soon as she put her hand in my hand… thankfully timing was perfect and the music was instrumental kuch kuch hota hai….
I pulled her to me
His hands on my waist
Still staring into her eyes
I could feel Goosebumps all over me
I made her twist at a high note and again pulled her to me
I fit in his arms so well
She was in my arms as if she was meant to be there the whole life.
I could feel everything happening between us but his gaze was the only thing which made me stay there though I felt uneasy first
I felt uneasy first but as she was perfectly in my arms that touch of her smooth skin made me want her more.
I wanted her at this time I didn't know why and then suddenly my eyes fell on her lips.
The moment he saw my lips I bit the lower lip.
She bit her lip and I could feel they were trembling.
I wanted to touch them with my lips. I wanted to feel them. I wanted to hold her in my arms forever with my lips on her lips I was bending down and our lips were so close that any moment and they would meet each other.
They were so restless to meet each other that the anxiety was felt all over the body
I could see him bending down and we were about to do what we wanted to do he was slowly moving close to me, so close that now was the moment and suddenly I gained my senses it was wrong completely wrong I can't do that I pushed him away giving a heavy jolt in his chest, tears started rolling down my cheeks. How could I lose control over me? No! I ran away directly to my room. I didn't want to see back….
When we were almost about to celebrate the union of our lips she pushed me away and went crying to her room swiftly. I saw her running away from me helpless.
Hell what did I do just now? I was about t o kiss her? How can I do that? I had lost control over me? All these years I claimed that I loved Natasha and how the hell I was going crazy over this girl. She must have been hurt. What a jerk I am. I was….
No I should apologies her but I was left wondering that how could I ever do this to her…. I had no courage to face her again… I left thinking……. I was wrong…………….
"Sorry Arohi" I whispered to myself in the hope that she will forgive me
"KASH mai khud ko rok pata……………."
Joined: 10 April 2011
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