In the name of love - Page 2

This content was originally posted by: tanvismile

personaly fr me mariage is nt like joke wer u change partners.one needs to keep love n respect alive.at least try ur best to keep ur comitment.with respect jaan mariage,j was made to commit in a relation at 8.2 people made to sleep with each other.at 18 they r expectd to gv birth to children,wen u face real world u realse they r just burden.love is imp in mariage ,without love its useles to continue it bt love shuld nt be turned into a joke.if one continuosly keep changing partners then in name of love then is it right.so since j took comitment,left his family fr her i expect 2 b with her.

Jagya and Anandi were married whe he was 10 and she was 8. I don't consider it marriage too...but when Anandi returned back home she was 18 and he was 20. I have read posts that says people would have accepted JAAN marriage inspite of being arranged and done without love becoz it is was done in adulthood...Why is the 1.5 years of happy married life of JAAN brushed under the carpet??? I never understand that...

Lets assume JAAN were never married. Jagya met Anandi at 18 in village, loved her, had physical relation with her. he was her boyfriend. Then he goes to the city and fell for Gauri...How does that become right... If the argument for J sticking on to G is because he left his family for her then

why can't J stick with any other woman if he decides to leave his family and Gauri for the new girl...

Why can't the new girl have the rights on Jagya, because Jagya loves her and not Gauri anymore...

Why can't jagya justify his move to anew girl by saying that his attachment to Gauri was the sudden temptation for new things in new world?

I don't think 21 years marks maturity and adulthood. Some don't get maturity even at the age of 40 and jagya falls in that category...

Ignoring the child marriage and forgetting Anandi being his wife, I consider Jagya's behaviour ifedility to his girl friend of 1.5 years with whom he has shared mental and physical relationship...If aborting that is considered ok because he fell in love with gauri, then it is completely ok for Jagya to dump Gauri if he falls in love again.

Vasuja dear-if it was nt the issue of child mariage then the maters today wudnt b so complicatd to judge.seen j s behaviour for g.they wer best budies thn to lovers.he tried his level to stay away frm her bcoz he was maried.he startd findin faults in a bt even then the next day he rejectd g s proposal. He did attempts to stay away frm g.bt here their whole life is messed by child mariage incident.secondly its abt comitment ,now he has taken comitment with his own wil.so obviously he is expectd to b with g.

Tanvi : their is no doubt that child marriage did mess up things for Anandi... If she was allowed to choose a life partner in adulthood she would never have choose Jagya because their perspective to things are vastly different...

Like Suchi expressed the saddest part is that in the entire GAGA relationship Gauri's state and feeling is never considered. Jagya is  still hiding the important truth that Anandi and not his Bapusa will be sending money to them...When Gauri gets to know that she will be further humiliated. Jagya wants to continue his illegal marriage in name of love...He does not think that Gauri deserves to live peacefully and not in fear of loosing her marriage...He is not ashamed to ask money from Anandi, but he won't ask divorce becoz it will only expose his mistakes and jail him...to live a life of Gauri is hell, but no everything should be forgotten and look over by Gauri becoz Jagya loves her...

jagya will not even do the basic thing of legalising his marriage with Gauri becoz love is enough...may be that would have been true if they lived in a secluded island with no one else...Jagya is lucky that he has no legal ties with Gauri and can walk out any day...

May be gauri does not matter at all in GAGA pair...All she needs to do is dress pretty, smile and be loving to Jagya...I agree Jagya has taken a commitment in his own will and he is not legalising and strengthening it by his own will...
Edited by vasuja - 12 years ago

Vasuja-ds gave him money right while going.anyways time wil tel yaar.i believe that one does bad,he gets it.so i m cool with it.lets see how long his lies continue in name of love.

Great topic and wonderful points made by Vasu, Antara, Tinoo, Suchi and all.

[QUOTE=annika20Is Jagya's step only and SOLELY about true love or is it about changing preferences with age and rising status?![/QUOTE]

bang on Annika👏...I don't know why he looses his right to love and choice after marrying Gauri???Is their some rule that Jagya should not feel gauri boring and backwards after seeing a videshi mem...why is the moral compass set on Jagya only regarding Gauri...

Jagya is allowed to lie to gauri and hide vital truths

Jagya is allowed to keep his marriage to gauri illegal in name of love

But Jagya is not allowed to leave Gauri...

the funny part is gauri is the victim either she is in or out of the relationship becoz other than saying "I love u" and " Only u are important to me" jagya will never reveal the complete truth about his dealings in his life.

Agree with you vasuja and annika.
If one is arguing for Jagya's right to love and move out of marriage any time he wants, he is very well justified to leave Gauri too. He is totally entitled to leave Gauri for the same reasons as he left Anandi:

1. Apparently his hormones ran wild with Anandi when he was 20, so his hormones might have ran wild with Gauri too when he was 21. If his relationship with Anandi at the age of 20 was that of adolescent immaturity, he might feel later that his relationship with Gauri in his early 20s was also one of adolescent immaturity. We keep changing as persons throughout our life, if that sanctions us for newer partners, why can't Jagya leave Gauri?

2. Jagya romanced Anandi and became physically intimate with her as an adult thinking that's what husbands are expected to do in society. Jagya romanced Gauri and maybe became or will become physically intimate with her as an adult thinking that's what boyfriends/husbands are expected to do in society. If he is just a toy of society and has no rationality or understanding of his own actions, then he is very well entitled to leave Gauri just as he left Anandi-----------precisely because he has just been manipulated by the norms of society and hence the responsibility lies on society, not him.

3. Jagya's attraction for Gauri came as a package with Jagya's attraction for the city life and rejection of his village roots. The only flaw he found in Anandi was that she did not fit in his new life style. If this is the logic, then men like Jagya will reject their old wives every time there is an up gradation of their  own lives. There are many men in real life who feel ashamed of their desi wives and their desi culture in US and become the ideal American citizen. They adapt to a new life and leave everything, including their wives, for a new woman more suitable here. If Jagya's actions are justified, then those men are also justified in leaving their wives who do not fit. Why can't Jagya leave Gauri as a desi girl if he is supported for leaving Anandi as a village girl?

4. Jagya's choice is justified since we are modern, progressive people who should believe that marriages are not forever. Jagya's marriage with Gauri then is also dissoluble and it is also not meant to be forever. How is the pro-choice argument against Jagya's leaving Gauri then? If one supports Jagya's choice, then he is entitled to that choice throughout his life. Why does his right to choice stop at Gauri?


I find the pro-choice logic for Jagya very very skewed. If it's a matter of pro-choice, then that is applicable to Jagya or men like Jagya throughout their lives. Why are the stakes different for Jagya's relationships with Anandi and Gauri? Sounds like as if Jagya is justified to act as a modern, free man only with Anandi but he is expected to be the traditional husband for Gauri and should keep living with her till his death !!!
I understand that the pro-choice logic is a different POV and I respect that, but why this double standard in the pro-choice argument? 



Edited by woman11 - 12 years ago

Antara first of all i am very happy that you could visit the forum and participate in the discussions...

Yup looks like poor Jagya's right to freedom of choice becomes non exsistent after marrying Gauri...I can't bare this atyachaar done to Jaggu dad...he has the right to marry and live with any girl he falls in love with.

vasuja this is what baffles me reading some of those long lovey dovey essays on J's true love. Can u really call it true love? I guess the definition has changed over the years but i still believe that men like J wont take a minute more to dump their life partners once they get bored of them

true love and jagiya??...!! 😆... Edited by khusi_* - 12 years ago