Fan Fictions


Fan Fictions
Fan Fictions

FF: Mohabbat Door Jaane na De-part 16 pg 46

-honeydew- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 23 September 2008
Posts: 19019

Posted: 07 August 2011 at 10:45pm | IP Logged
Hi guys !!! ive been toying with the idea of writing this story called Mohabbat Door Jaane na De for the last few weeks ... and have even written three parts ... for some weird reason, i always keep delaying writing the fourth part ...I have finally decided i am going to post the first part here anyway and then go on to get inspired to write the 4th one once i am pressured and dont get lazy ...!!!

The story starts right from Arnavs childhood, tracing why and how he went on to become the man he is, before he met Khushi and then they fall in love ... But Khushi has a past too ... I will not give much away ... but just post ... Part One down here !! Hope you guys enjoy reading it and also leave your comments behind for my feedback !! its almost been a year since i wrote an FF and i hope i finish this off in 12-15 parts !!

clickable links to the parts below:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Edited by -honeydew- - 06 December 2011 at 1:01am

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-honeydew- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 23 September 2008
Posts: 19019

Posted: 07 August 2011 at 10:48pm | IP Logged

Part 1:

The Raizada family was one of the most well known families in Lucknow. Everyone not only talked about how they were the family with respect and principles but people also talked of the love between the Raizada couple Mukesh Raizada and Pramila Raizada that seemed to be forever in love with one another. Even in social gatherings they were cited as the perfect couple. To 10 year old Arnav, his family was the best gift god had given him. Having been brought up by his superstitiously god fearing mother and a rationalist father, Arnav supposed had the best of both worlds according to the rest of the family that included cousins and relatives who were jealous of the opulent Sheesh Mahal that was the pride of the town.

 Arnav however was always afraid of his father's blunt and reticent ways. He would never have the guts to walk up to him and ask him for anything he wanted. He always chose to turn to his Mo, (that's what he called his mother) to ask for whatever he wanted and during most times, before she would go ahead, he would back out saying he didn't want it anymore. Arnav easily trusted anyone that showed him love and affection, and this to him was a perfect arrangement since his mother and father would obviously not betray that trust.

The one person he never really liked was his elder sister Anjali who always seemed to get preferential treatment since she was a girl. Whenever they fought, his mother would say "Arnav beta, didi se nahi ladte wo ladki hai, aur Raizada khaandan main humesha aurato ki izzat ki jaati hai". Even his dad would openly pamper Anjali while Arnav always wondered why women needed that kind of petting. He knew he would do without it as well.

When Po, or his dad, had just gotten Anjali a beautiful doll from Germany after one of his international tours Arnav didn't for one bit like the idea of how Anjali had gone on and on about it innocently without realising her brother was least interested in how pretty her doll looked and how many ways it could talk and greet people. Mukesh had gifted Arnav with a bunch of books on Germany and its history, but that didn't interest Arnav one bit.

"Alag Alag desho ke itihaas ke bare main jaana, logon aur unki Vidhiyo ko samajhna accha hota hai . Aur main chahta hoon ke tum bade hokar poori duniya ghoomo .. aur yeh tum vidya ke bagair nahi kar paaoge "

Arnav didn't get it. Why didn't his father ever get him what he wanted? Whereas, Anjali always had it easy. She would get toys to play with, she would always be smiling, giggling and running around the house, whereas he would be subject to hours of lectures by his father who would read to him, narrate experiences, his travels as well as the knowledge he had possessed. Sometimes Arnav would dose off, but Mukesh was a hard task master, he would not allow this lenience with his son. After all he had big dreams and plans for him.

Mo, was a fabulous singer. People called her Koyal. Sudarshan masterji was her Guru, and he would come every morning to train her. Arnavs day would begin with her riyaz and this melody soothed his ears. As the song Meri saanso main tu muskuraaye would begin each morning, he would half wake up but deliberately not open his eyes, since this would be his excuse to wait for his mother to personally come and call out to him.

Mo would still be humming, as she would walk into the room. She would come to the bed, turn the fan off first, peal three badams that she would have soaked over-night, and then stroke Arnavs forehead, kiss it and sweetly ask him to wake up. Arnav would turn around, hug his mo, and cuddle for a couple of seconds, before he would actually open his eyes. He didn't like the idea of having badams every morning, but his mother's pleasant face would force him not to refuse. This was his daily routine almost.

And then one day when Arnav and Anjali had just returned from school they heard loud voices shouting. It was their Mo and Po. To Arnav and Anjali this was strange considering they had never seen their parents fight. So they stopped by the door, and while Anjali does want to go ahead Arnav stops her asks her to wait on.

From their conversation, they can hear the mother cry  and say  " aur rahiye aap apni duniya main meri kya galti hai .. agar aap apni duniya main busy nahi hote toh aisa kabhi nahi hota "

Po: itna sab kuch hone ke baad, tum abhi bhi apne aap ko justify kar rahi ho ... I can't believe this Pam.

Mo: toh maine galat kya kiya  duniya ke liye hum hai ek perfect couple, par sacchayi kya hai .. yeh sirf hum dono hi jaante hai .

Both the kids are shell shocked hearing this ..What were their parents talking about. A near drop trickles down Anjalis eyes as she is shell shocked and for the first time a protective instinct takes over Arnav as he see's sister totally close up, tensed, and nervous almost shivering. He holds her hand assuringly whispers it would be fine. Anjali is almost about to burst out crying when Arnav shuts her mouth asking her to keep it low. But it's too late, Pramila has sensed commotion.

Mo: baccho ke aane ka time ho gaya hai . Hum baad main baat karenge is bare main 

From the other end, the children do not hear the father respond!

Later that day, Pramila comes into their bedroom and notices Anjali's a tear stained face.

Mo: Anjali beta kya hua  ( she asks worried)

In silent sobs Anjali is about to open her mouth when Arnav strongly gestures her not to say anything. Mukesh also turns up by then and the focus is shifted completely to Anjali. The family no longer wants to know what went wrong; they divert their entire focus on Anjali and wanting to set her mood right. The parents perhaps were trying to cover their guilt by being extra nice to the children.

After the parents leave, Anjali turns to Arnav and says " chote aapne hume kuch kehne se kyun roka "

Arnav: Pata nahi di .. maine aapko kyun roka, main bhi nahi jaanta maine aapko kyun roka .. lekin maine jo kiya mujhe wo sahi laga I am sorry di 

Anjali sweetly smiled at his brother and said .. " theek hai chote, lekin agli baar agar aisa kuch humne suna toh .. hum ma, papa se baat zaroor karenge aur unse poochenge ke wo humse kya chupa rahey hai .. "

Though younger Arnav nods and assures his sister, but he can't sleep peacefully that night, since something inside him begins to tick him and tell him, something is terribly wrong and he feels he may not be able to do much about it either.

Three months later, News is splashed all over the papers about how Pramila Raizada had during a family wedding disgraced the entire khaandan and run away with her music teacher while Mukesh had gone off on his business tours. 

Edited by Galarcher - 16 August 2011 at 2:54am

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swetha10 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 11 September 2007
Posts: 18660

Posted: 07 August 2011 at 10:57pm | IP Logged
Nice concept... looks interesting... plzz continue soon
thanx  a  lot for the pm...

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iqbals4ever IF-Dazzler

Joined: 03 August 2005
Posts: 2777

Posted: 07 August 2011 at 11:05pm | IP Logged
wow I loved this whole set-up for Arnav's character, I can't wait to read more!Clap

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SillyPepper IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 11 March 2011
Posts: 11774

Posted: 07 August 2011 at 11:33pm | IP Logged
wow! A perfect flashback for ASR! It was superb! 

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..Anita.. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 November 2010
Posts: 16637

Posted: 07 August 2011 at 11:54pm | IP Logged
I love it!!!! you have to continue an update soon...please PM me when you do
It is the perfect flashback and i loved the way you set up Arnav's character...i see some similarities with his dad and anjali with her mom.
Great job!!!

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mechantefille IF-Rockerz

Joined: 11 June 2008
Posts: 5263

Posted: 08 August 2011 at 4:59am | IP Logged
A hurt so deep it made him retreat into himself and keep the stern crude exterior to protect his sense of happiness.
If Arnav did indeed hurt so bad at such a tender age, then his hard exterior makes you get his protectiveness for Anjali and the base of that strong bond. More than her taking care of him, he has assumed the protective gear to keep her ever smiling. 
Nihu, if ur keeping the FF with the same characters n traits as in the show, then that's how I'd sum it up. 
Loved it - eager to read more.Hug

Edited by mechantefille - 08 August 2011 at 11:33am

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tinsel IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 02 February 2010
Posts: 13531

Posted: 08 August 2011 at 5:11am | IP Logged
Awesome FF,please do continue,absolutely loving how Arnav's character is shaping...

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