Originally posted by a little faithRain scene and all
I liked the title, a hark back to the previous chapter. It isn't easy to incite the reader to recollect the past before they begin anew the story without it seeming obvious, for instance how many times I have seen it done by use of an unnecessary phone conversation at the beginning of many a tv show, why don't they just use a recap instead? However you have managed it so eloquently in its subtlety that I am mighty impressed.
Thanks! You know, I might have used the random title that first came into my mind, but then I remembered how you usually try to link the titles to previous parts/themes, and decided on this one. Which just goes to show how encouraging your comments are! They really spur me on to put in more effort in my writing
Furthermore I love this now running theme of spoofing those cliche iconic moments in movies, tongue in cheek and yet with an honest edge, DCH style and once again you do it very well.
I guess, like the protagonist, I am an extremely filmi person so it kind of comes naturally Glad you like it!
We can also mention that you have chosen a very alluring iconic moment, that rain scene which conjures much in the reader's mind, in that it could spell that moment when two lovers meet OR when sadness suffuses through the soul of a lonely heart broken. Finely done. Then you layer it further with suspense within your first line, was forbidden territory. The physical encapsulating the spiritual aspect too, excellently done.
I loved the composition of the second paragraph, very beautiful. the fact that the exact degree of their truth was ambiguous... just as much truth amidst the lies...be anywhere between all and none.
Thanks so much! I'm very flattered!
Fourteen storeys, just as many stories, if not more. Wonderful, did I ever mention that I love puns? Excellent! right on cue, Ah, it is the sad rain. I loved that nod again to cliche that of course it only too natural part of our lives, hacknayed maybe but still all the same, personal. I love your style of writing, you mesh insight, narrative, plot and humour so meticulously yet it seems so effortless, just very skillful. I should be pinned down by a heroic sub-warden myself to become part of the story I had been a curious onlooker to. & by her ridiculously amnesiac (boy?)friend
So relieved that you think so! I sometimes find my writing way too erratic. So yayy at you finding that it all fits in! (Even though I know you are being slightly overly generous as always)
Excellent segue from the rain to her past and thereby elucidation of the present her, combining that theme of movies, Me, as a child, spending hours in front of the mirror, practising, perfecting faces, poses
. Utterly bored with all the moping
wondrous detailing, adding to the style of the narrative, that self mocking wit as well as saving the protagonist from over indulgence of grief. It gives both your story and her perspective. Nicely done.
I liked the pheonix rising from the sweetness of rain rather than sweat of scorching fire. That bollywood theme nicely tweaked so that it never seems overly dramatic but subtly sublime.
Really needed you to say that! I tend to be such a drama queen at times, that my notion of subtlety itself is kind of skewed
I really loved the conversation you worded between her and Irene. Very breezy, non confrontational almost manipulative, to have it out with a competitor, opponent, but not giving them an arena to also fight back. However she takes the hit gracefully, though slowly the bruising begins to surface in the aftermath so we begin to understand, appreciate the extent of the damage done, though she would try in earnest to hide it.
As usual, your analysis is spot on! This time, so much so, that it actually elicited a sad smile from me. I love how you understand things that I did not really intend to convey so explicitly.. It's surprising and also comforting.
It's a strange relationship that the two girls share. There is definitely something like genuine friendship somewhere. Irene is aware that she has hurt the protagonist, and is sorry for that, but she does not really understand how, so her apology cannot be complete. And the protagonist understands how Irene is feeling, but cannot convey her hurt to her, because she knows Irene might not really understand. And so, she forgives the wrong that was somewhat unintentionally perpetrated. But the hurt is still there, so her forgiveness cannot be complete.
Yet, the friendship is still there. The protagonist has decided to properly 'move on' so there really is no reason to hold any grudges. Some things still sting, but she will, as you said, "try in earnest to hide it."
Yes, Irene was concerned but only to a level, for another level of concern would be never mentioning it in the first place, parading themselves in front of her so that any misunderstandings could be given rope to hang themselves. Back to the bruising, Where love could be just a word, a joke almost That rosy red of love turning an off-purple with inflections of stale yellow and vomit green. Finally that inevitable end that all parents pray for protection for their child, alienation, I didn't quite fit in. It isn't about fitting in but finding someplace in this world to be in, some heart to belong to.
Very, very, very true
However she is indeed a fighter, maybe because her life hasn't been without love or security, her parents in her formative years giving her a solid foundation so that no matter how many times her ideals are bulldozed, she is able to build again.
Precisely! I am so glad you were able to tie in facts and clues from previous parts to come up with this analysis And I loved the building imagery you used
I really loved the manner you composed those closing lines, you never just say or state facts but give them stories all of their own, here an innocent sneeze becoming her adversary, but also that point that Irene missed.
Sure a sneeze could be a fore warner to that cold about to unfurl its wrath BUT it is also a clue, a sign to past filled with pleasantness and care free fun. As the protagonist elucidates, nothing is impossible except living in the past, so we must learn to enjoy it as best we can as it breezes by into our history.
Kiran, an outstanding chapter, eloquent and funny, full of insight. You should be very happy.
I am indeed very happy. I tend to be very, very critical of my writing. Which is why your reviews are usually very pleasantly surprising. But after I'd posted this part, I was just slightly less self-critical than usual. I think, so far, it's the only part that I've truly liked. Although, of course, I still have numerous faults to pick
With much love, Sabah