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JETSAR TIMES: CVs ki secret meeting pg 12 (Page 5)

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vasuja

Goldie

vasuja

Joined: 18 January 2010

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Posted: 06 August 2011 at 10:26am | IP Logged
Anu please inform Jagat the below

Mr.Suraj is extremely happy with your guidance and advice. He was gonna break up with old girl before moving to new one. But your great advice had opened his eyes and prevented him from doing anything moral...God curse Mr.Jagat and thanks Anu for the lovely interview.

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Suchi-

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Posted: 06 August 2011 at 10:41am | IP Logged
O O O O niceee coloumn its  awesome!!!!!
great IDEA!!

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swethasyam08

swethasyam08

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Posted: 06 August 2011 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
@Annika! don't know what to say only ClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClap

gr8 post. good tips too.

tinoo

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Posted: 06 August 2011 at 9:56pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by annika20

DISCLAIMER  The readers are solely responsible for the real life consequences of Dr. Jagat's advice in this column.  Dr. Jagat and Jetsar Times are not answerable or liable for any damage or mishaps, if any,  caused in real life through this column.

 

 
That sounds about right.  LOLLOLLOL. He NEVER takes responsibility or is answerable for any damage or mishaps caused by his actions.

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atominis

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atominis

Joined: 24 June 2011

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Posted: 07 August 2011 at 5:04am | IP Logged
@woman11, Suchi, Vss, Vasu

Thanks a lot! LOL

@woman11

Thanks for the question. It has been forwarded to Dr. Jagat.  He will answer it shortly. You see, he's a very busy man and has his own studies and complex life to deal with. So he needs some time to answer your question. BTW, very intelligent way of framing a question I must say!Wink

@tinoo

Yaar kitchen is Anandi, Sumitra, Gehna's department or Bhago's! They can't give such recipes! Gauri is too busy to cook and wants to cook only if it's about fulfilling a ritual for newly married women or showing off her talent to the boy of her choice once in a while, otherwise she has no interest in kitchen. So kitchen column kaun karega?

Already some people are threatening to sue Jetsar Times for providing such a column which doles out such strange advice. We're safe because Dr. Jagat has filled the coffers of all judges, sarpanches, magistrates and other administrative officials in Rajasthan through'' Kalyani Devi Personal Bank'' and given ''Jagat's Vow of Silence Gold lockets'' to class four employees of all courts so that they never let any complaint against this column reach any higher official. 

I wonder who will take guarantee of kitchen column?Shocked

Yes the disclaimer is necessary not just for this column but for anything associated with Dr. Jagat. Apni bhi akhbaar ki izzat ka sawaal hai. Humne logon ka theka nahin le rakha! Tongue


Edited by annika20 - 07 August 2011 at 5:05am

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Posted: 07 August 2011 at 7:08am | IP Logged
                                              JETSAR TIMES

Dr. Jagat's new invention ''Jagat's Vow of Silence Gold Locket'' sends tremors around the world!

Jetsar: It is known to history of mankind that whenever any radically new invention or innovation has been created, it has initially led to intense debate worldwide. The latest invention that has literally shaken the world is this thing, curiously called ''Jagat's Vow of Silence Gold locket''. It has been devised by none other than our very own Dr. Jagat, grandson of Kalyani Devi, from Jetsar. 

Jagat's Vow of Silence Gold Locket, is actually a large necklace/chain made of 24 carat pure gold, with a pendant that is fashioned like Surya Dev of Hindu religion. The unique feature of this locket is that one can give it to anyone to get his/her work done quickly and keep their secrets. It is particularly effective and useful in getting works of illegal or tricky nature, done quickly and effortlessly and ensures that the one who wears it forever keeps the secrets of its giver.

Apart from this, this locket also makes its wearer generally proud and shameless and helps in easily telling lies and making up stories- the qualities which are of utmost necessity to survive and thrive in this big bad world. The only possibly undesirable effects of this locket are shifty eyes and stupid grin on its wearer whenever asked about his actions.

While pragmatic, intellectual, modern youth are very happy with this invention and are flocking to grab their own Jagat Vow of Silence lockets to gift it to others. Moralists are up in arms against it, expressing grave concerns about its harmful effects. 

The biggest protesters are the anti-corruption activists. Says one Devkinandan, a follower of Anna Hazare, ''This is just disgusting! Such an invention must be condemned and its inventor must be put behind bars! At a time when the whole nation is fighting against corruption, this so-called invention shall totally defeat the mission of our leaders! It will ruin the national movement!''

Social workers in Jetsar have already started writing letters to Anna Hazare and petitioned members of Parliament to see to it that this locket is banned and its inventor be jailed.

Some godmen are calling it an instrument of Satan and dissuading people from buying it.

The popularity of this locket and the furore generated by its effects is so strong that it even gained attention from international media. Organisations like Transparency International are gearing up to start a global campaign against Jagat's Vow of Silence Lockets and their sale. 

Meanwhile, our correspondent decided to speak to youth and they think all this hue and cry is totally unnecessary. ''The locket is gorgeous, though old-fashioned and expensive, but it makes our lives easier and gets all work done. No longer we have to worry about delays in government or even private offices!'', said a group of youth in Jetsar Haat. Some school kids said, they gifted these lockets even to their teachers and got them to give higher marks in exams and revealed that their parents were also giving these lockets to their bosses to get promotion at work. 
There is said to be huge demand for these lockets nationally and internationally, with queries coming from all parts of the world.

The Sarpanch of Jetsar chose not to speak about this issue.

On the other hand, Kalyani Devi, the grandmother of Dr. Jagat said, ''I am really proud of my laadesar! He took our family's name to the skies! May God give such a chirag to every family!''

The man himself, Dr. Jagat said (shifty eyed and laughing under his breath), ''Oh this is nothing! No invention or something. It just happened naturally! Actually the inspiration behind the creation of this Vow of Silence locket is my dear Dadi Sa. It's a result of her marg-darshan only. But yes I did give my own special touch to it. 
I first used this for myself, and when I got astounding results all these years. I thought I must share this technology with the humanity too. After all, we must do something for mankind! I am glad I was able to make a difference.''

When asked about the controversy, Dr. Jagat says (shaking his head), ''Ah! Usual drama by pseudo moralists! They are all backward and illiterate. They are just jealous of my ability! See, I don't mind all this tamasha. I understand that whenever someone shows a path towards progress and modernisation, the orthodox conservatives feel threatened and protest. Their reaction is natural. Even Newton, Einstein, Kepler..all these great discoverers and inventors of the world faced violent opposition. But they triumphed in the end. I am glad I'm in such august company. In fact, I am enjoying this worldwide attention and congratulate my patrons and fans for lapping up my invention and advancing in life!''

''Those who feel threatened by it, arrey just protect yourself from it by using your own brain and not giving in to temptation when someone gifts it to you! Khud pe kaboo rakhte nahin, doosron ko dosh dete hain!'' - he signs off.

Well, no matter what, this son of the soil did put Jetsar on the world map for sure! 




Edited by annika20 - 09 August 2011 at 8:21am

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swethasyam08

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swethasyam08

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Posted: 07 August 2011 at 7:51am | IP Logged
@Annika! Dr. Jagat's new invention ''Jagat's Vow of Silence Gold Locket''  ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

the title itself made me laugh and was confident that i will enjoy reading it and i was right. Clap Thumbs Up JT followers are confident enough that u won't disappoint us. 

what points should i mention which i liked most it is very very difficult for me. Wink learned abt gold locket. we even want how to make shifty eyes and in which situations? u mentioned that Dr. Jagat makes shifty eyes a lot so we just want to know. LOL


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vasuja

Goldie

vasuja

Joined: 18 January 2010

Posts: 1672

Posted: 07 August 2011 at 9:38am | IP Logged
I loved the way you have written. very very nice article...I think I need to grab a locket too, will save my time from running around government offices.

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