Dr. Jagat's Guide to Life! # 2
Hello readers! We thank you for the overwhelming response to our new series ''Dr. Jagat's Guide to Life'', by Dr. Jagat, Jetsar's anytime-anywhere- all purpose doctor! Today, Dr. Jagat shares tips on effortlessly changing girlfriends!
Suraj: ''I have a girl friend with whom I have spent 6 years...Things were fine and I met a new girl recently with whom my vibes seem to gel well..I feel this new girl is my soul mate. I have told my old girl friend many times that I love her and she is my soul mate... She has done few sacrifices also for me. But I think all the 6 years I was not in love with her. It was mere friendship which both of us misunderstood.
Should I break up with this girl before I start my relation with the new girl.
Please give me your advice??''
Dr. Jagat: ''Ah! Same old issues. I've done enough research on it. Don't worry friend. Have no fear, Dr. Jagat is here!
See I can perfectly understand our tastes change as we grow older, with time. It's also natural that you may passionately feel attachment to anyone and declare your GF as soul mate if she's nice to you and you also like her! It's a natural part of life, especially us men's lives!
See, 6 years is nothing to bother about! My expert research shows that you need not be bothered even if a girl has been with you for 16 years! 6 or 16 it's just a number yaar! Live in the present and think of your own self, your own needs and preferences first and foremost!
Here's my step by step guide for you:
- Keep your old girlfriend in dark about this new girl and keep the new one in dark about the old one. Never let either girl know what you're actually upto.
- Gradually reduce the intensity of passion and ''love'' for your old flame. Slowly, carefully start pushing her away from you on the pretext of being busy with study or work or ill health. Tell her you need time alone or are too stressed and overworked. Stop accompanying her everywhere like a pooch! Dooriyan bhi hain zaroori, samjhe?
- Never let the old girlfriend suspect you. Be nice and respectful to her but just stop being mushy and lovey-dovey.
- On the other hand, be as caring, loving, mushy, nice and goody-goody to your new-found girl, as possible. Make her believe you're the best guy a girl can ever ask for! Find out her interests. If she's career-oriented, feign seriousness about career and studies. If she's homely, then pretend to be a homebody, help around with some household chores, praise her housekeeping skills and offer to cook or do some homely stuff yourself. Phasaa lo machhli apne prem jaal mein, got it? The girl should be helplessly and hopelessly emotionally attached to you, so that nothing is ever able to turn her against you!
- Sacrifices are nothing much. Every good and loving Indian girl makes sacrifices for the man she loves. Yeh uska farz hota hai, usne nibhaa diya, bas! That's it! Don't make a big deal of typical Indian women's sacrifices, Tiger! They are thinking about you, you also think only about you! If at all, the old girlfriend brings up sacrifices issue, just tell her you respect her for the duty she performed. What she did was naturally expected from her and you respect her for that. Nothing more, nothing less!
- I do not recommend breaking up with the old girlfriend. It's a messy and complicated thing. Bekaar ke pange se acha hai, that you try to keep both girls in dark. I suggest you enjoy both of them. But if you are thoroughly bored of the old one then like I said, just start moving away from her very gradually.
- Start staying with new girl on the pretext of higher studies or business trip or transfer of job. Thoroughly cement your relationship with the new girl, while still keeping option of going back to old one till you're not 100% sure of living with the new girl.
- Precaution: Keep your friends from your neighbourhood or class in total control! Never let them also know what you're upto! Dost kab dushman ban jaye pata nahin! Zindagi mein sab kaam khufiya tareeke se karna seekho - that's what I have concluded from years of my research. See to it that none of the girls are too close to your best friends, especially the ones who know your secrets. Tell them woh ladka theek nahin hai, usse kabhi baat na karna. As I always say, keep your cell phone, letters, laptop and personal stuff in strict secrecy, lest any girl comes to know about what you're doing. Never let your ''things'' speak for themselves!!
- Okay, if your ''pesky'' conscience (conscience is such a crook!) starts ''pestering'' you for cheating the new girl, then write an emotional letter to her, telling her you were ''just a teenager'' when you fell prey to charms of the first nice girl you saw and that it was ''just friendship'' which that girl mistook for eternal love and got all clingy to you. Tell the new girl, that the old girl used to throw herself on you, but you never did anything from your side! You never loved her! Use flowery language, try to look like an innocent helpless victim of a crazy, clingy girl's mad ''love'', just make the new girl MELT with your words in the letter! Tell her you hope she will understand you, and if not, offer that you'd quietly leave her life and deal with the crazy friend yourself (isse zordaar asar hoga!).
Make sure your letter reaches her, don't place it on clothes or any place from where it can fall out of her sight! In fact, I suggest you get photocopies of that letter and place one copy everywhere, so that woh kahin na kahin usko dekh le aur padh le! Warna letter likhne ka koi faayda nahin!
- If you are 100% sure that you are sick of the old girl, don't want to be with her or find it taxing to sail in two boats at a time, then simply call up that old girlfriend, tell her you both have drifted apart and that both need to move on from teenage dilly-dallying to actual maturity of adulthood. Tell her you understand she did a lot for you, and respect her for what she did for you. Salute her for performing her duties well and being a nice girl. But make it clear you and her need to move on in individual lives. ''Ab hum saath nahin reh payenge, tum hamesha meri achi dost rahogi, tumse milkar acha laga. Mein tumhari kadar karta hun. Ab apne apne raaste alag alag hain. Kya kar sakte hain? Is mein kisi ki koi galti nahin hai. Bas haalat hi badalte rehte hain. Bye!''
Put down the phone before she gets a chance to speak. Got it?
- CAUTION - I really hope you didn't make the mistake of marrying that old girl! If you did, then let me tell you, it's okay to break up on the phone only. Don't worry about laws or divorce. Just flee from the city or the country with your new girl and start a new life, without giving a damn about the old girl or any damned law or social obligation! An adult man's freedom is above any law or social custom as per studies conducted by me and my associates.
- Dealing with supporters of both girls:
New girl - Impress the family/supporters of new girl with your charms or dramas like standing in rain all night in front of the girl's house or foregoing food and sleep for the girl or taking care of her when she's sick to show how much you love her. Convince them you'd love their girl and keep her happy forever. If need be, you can ''even'' get an illegal marriage certificate and do drama of marriage too, to reassure the family. Don't shy away from going to any extent!
Old girl - Tell them they are at fault for not understanding that people grow up and their preferences change with time. They should not force mere friendship as janmon ka bandhan on you or the girl. Say you've grown up, matured in real sense and got understanding of what is true love. Make excuses about old girl, bring up some faults/weaknesses about her and tell others she doesn't suit your needs anymore and you can't waste your life for her. You respect her for performing her duties, but now want to kick her out of your life and move on.
Finish it at that. Never give in no matter how much anyone insults, pressurises, ridicules or emotionally blackmails you or the new girl or gives badduas! Uphold your freedom of choice above anything else.
I wish you a very happy and fulfilling love life and total independence and control of your life! Be the master of your destiny! Shine like Suraj, Mr. Suraj! Best of Luck!''
ABOUT DR. JAGAT: Dr. Jagat is the all-time-all-purpose multi-specialist doctor cum psychologist cum life coach based in Jetsar (Jaipur for ''paperwork''), Rajasthan He got his medical degree from Charak Medical Institute in Mumbai. With his years of experience, unique upbringing and novel personal experiments in life since childhood, he's acknowledged internationally for his ability to ''treat any situation to suit one's own needs''. Dr. Jagat's book ' ''Jagat ke Jagat ko nachane ke nuskhey'' will be out soon. JT thanks Dr. Jagat for taking the time to write for our readers despite his busy schedule and messy...oops, ''complex'' life.
Note ' Please send us feedback about the column and your questions for Dr. Jagat, the all-time-all-purpose doc of Jetsar/Jaipur/Mumbai! If you're facing any dilemmas in life, turn to Dr. Jagat! Email - [email protected]
DISCLAIMER ' The views in this guidance and advice column are of the doctor only. The publication does not necessarily endorse these opinions. The readers are solely responsible for the real life consequences of Dr. Jagat's advice in this column. Dr. Jagat and Jetsar Times are not answerable or liable for any damage or mishaps, if any, caused in real life through this column.
Dr. Jagat's Guide to Life brought to you by Annika (Anu).
Edited by annika20 - 09 August 2011 at 8:22am