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Dr. Jagat's Guide to Life!
Hello readers! Starting this week, we bring you insightful new series ''Dr. Jagat's Guide to Life'', by Dr. Jagat, Jetsar's anytime-anywhere- all purpose doctor! This week Dr. Jagat shares tips on college life:
Dear Dr. Jagat: ''I'm a 17 year old boy about to start college in a big city this year. I am from a small village, so I am feeling nervous about how I'll adjust and manage my life in college in the big city. Please guide me.''
- Some family's laadesar from some small village near Jetsar
Dr. Jagat: ''College? Congratulations on securing admission in a big city college! Don't you worry my boy! College is a fun, exciting part of life, opens up many opportunities for future and especially a college in a big city (I hope it's something like Mumbai you're talking about!) introduces you to ''stuff'' that'd blow you away and give you new choices in life! See I'll give you some simple tips for a small time village boy to adjust in college and start a NEW LIFE:
- Examine your name dear. If it's boring, long or sounds old-fashioned then change it with a shorter, snazzier name! Even I changed my name from Jagdish to a cooler-sounding ''Jagat''!
- Instead of worrying about village background, simply don't tell anyone that you're from a village! Give the name of some big city in your state! Jaipur's a great idea for us in or around Jetsar, I can vouch for that through my personal experience!
- Understand this is a big bad world. Be diplomatic and learn to effectively fool teachers, college administration, classmates and other people you come across in the big city. Don't hesitate, karna padta hai yaar, agar life mein aagey badhna hai!
- Ragging can be fun and actually useful in future. Female classmates will become sympathetic and all emotional about you. Endure it for higher gains in future.
- Be thick-skinned and don't let anyone take advantage of you (instead take advantage of others). Do warm up to and fall for persons (particularly female) who help you out in a sticky situation, who knows one of your helpful classmates could be your future life partner?
- You have to maintain image of innocence and good character if you want favour from teachers and wish to have nice girls as your best friends. College is not just for study, it's also a hunting ground for a future and better life partner!
- If you have any other friend of yours from your village taking admission in same college, then learn to keep him in control and take him in confidence so that he never phods your bhaanda! Lest your carefully constructed image be damaged!
- Try your best to keep your family from visiting you in college in the big city, or else your efforts at being a cool big city collegian will fail. We love our parents and dadi-dadas, but we should simply make them believe we are doing fine by the grace of their blessings and only need them to send the cheque every month! Aashirwaad toh hota hi hai, bas kharcha pani samay se mangwate raho!
- If your parents insist too much on coming to meet you in city, just tell them that it's a puzzling, big city and they'd feel lost here, so they needn't come. Offer to come home and meet them once a year for a day or two. If they land up in big city, tell them to wait at platform or take them to a picnic spot in your city and have bits of talk there and see them off as soon as possible! We love parents, my boy, but we shouldn't let them impede our flight to glory!
- CAUTION - If at all, you were married as a child and have a beendni at home, never ever let anyone discover about it or else adjustment and reputation-building in big city college becomes difficult. Try to keep her in impression of still being in love with her or missing her. Better still, I hope you attempt to find a more modern and classier (you know what I mean!) girl in big city and start a new chakkar with her!
- Don't ever live in hostel (even if you get a room). Hostels are stifling for young growing boys. Try to live in a house as a paying guest. For most enjoyable stay, get your new best friend (female one!) to stay with you in the same PG. Convince her to pose as a married couple and stay in same room with her! I was forced to live like this due to the landlady's insistence on married couples and having no other options, but I observed and concluded that it was an enjoyable experience! But don't go too far and take full advantage of her. Understand?
- Study hard, party harder! Enjoy picnics on landmarks of the big city, play antakshari in playground of your college with classmates, have mock fashion shows in classroom. Masti karo yaar! Have fun with the girl you like! Have get-togethers at friends' houses. It's damn easy to get a degree and get a tag of doctor/lawyer/engineer ' you name it!
- Precautions ' Keep all personal belongings in strict secrecy, tell only what you'd like others to believe about you, keep your cell phone with you and never let anyone see your contact list or messages. Keep all stuff sent from home only with you. See to it that your big city classmates or best friends never land up at your home or end up calling your parents!Change the topic quickly if conversation is about one's background or home! Always feign extreme seriousness about career in front of teachers or friends, whether you're actually serious or not.
- Have fun, be shameless and be successful! Best of Luck!''
ABOUT DR. JAGAT: Dr. Jagat is the all-time-all-purpose multi-specialist doctor cum psychologist cum life coach based in Jetsar (Jaipur for ''paperwork''), Rajasthan He got his medical degree from Charak Medical Institute in Mumbai. With his years of experience, unique upbringing and novel personal experiments in life since childhood, he's acknowledged internationally for his ability to ''treat any situation to suit one's own needs''. Dr. Jagat's book ' ''Jagat ke Jagat ko nachane ke nuskhey'' will be out soon. JT thanks Dr. Jagat for taking the time to write for our readers despite his busy schedule and messy...oops, ''complex'' life.
Note ' Please send us feedback about the column and your questions for Dr. Jagat, the all-time-all-purpose doc of Jetsar/Jaipur/Mumbai! If you're facing any dilemmas in life, turn to Dr. Jagat! Email - [email protected]
DISCLAIMER ' The views in this guidance and advice column are of the doctor only. The publication does not necessarily endorse these opinions. The readers are solely responsible for the real life consequences of Dr. Jagat's advice in this column. Dr. Jagat and Jetsar Times are not answerable or liable for any damage or mishaps, if any, caused in real life through this column.
Dr. Jagat's Guide to Life brought to you by Annika (Anu).
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