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Bhavanab

Coolbie

Bhavanab

Joined: 31 March 2009

Posts: 23473

Posted: 30 July 2011 at 12:59am | IP Logged
As decided ... I think we should restart with Write A Scene contest !! Hoping for active participation in this thread based on which it can be decided whether to continue or not.


The rules of Write a Scene Contest Are Simple

Rules:
 
1. Please do not quote other's post.
2. Participants please post the ENTRY number on top of your entry. First person writing a scene will number his/her scenes as 'ENTRY 1' and so on.
3. If you like a scene, please hit 'like' and kindly avoid commenting till the contest is over.
4. The Scene SHOULD connect all the caps. That is compulsory.
5. More than One Entries Can be Sent Smile
6. Any Doubts can be asked in the
General Discussions #14 thread . Do NOT discuss here. This Thread is Only For the Entries.


Last Day for Entries is Thursday evening 5PM IST.
Voting from Thursday till Saturday
Winners will be announced on Sunday.
Voting scheme will be told later.

For reference one can consult the old Write a scene contest
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1617260

Pictures for this week's contest are :-















Hoping to see active participation in this and the DOTW thread Smile




Edited by Bhavanab - 06 August 2011 at 7:32am

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Padmpriya

IF-Dazzler

Padmpriya

Joined: 30 November 2010

Posts: 4373

Posted: 30 July 2011 at 4:11am | IP Logged
ENTRY NO 1






PIC 1
freddy is in shopping mall when someone comes and keeps gunpoint on him. It is salunkey saab.
Freddy - hmm umm...ye ye aap kya kar rahe hai?? Aapko pata hai aap ne gun kispe rakha hai...mere dil pe gun rakha hai aapne aur mere biwi ko kuch hogaya to...
Salu- arre freddy!! Tum bhi na... Pata hai tumare dil mein bhabhije alawa kaun ho hi nahi sakta par tumane to glowse pehne nahi hai isliye socha boss se danth khilane se accha mein hi bata do!!
Freddy- arre sir aap bhi na... Meine to investigation shuru hi nahi kiya tha... Aapne to muje dara hi diya aur plz us acp sir ka naam mat lijiye.

PIC -2
at beauru
abhijeet asks acp for permission to celebrate freddys birthday.
Abhi- sir pichli baar freddy hum sabko party di thi is baar uske janm din par hum bhi kuch kare kya??
Acp- par abhijeet ye freddy aj dikhayi nahi de raha.aj muje beauru bilkul shant lag raha hai... Wife pravachan jo nahi pada ja raha...LOL

pic 3
acp: aur haan ye jo case aaya tha uska kya hua... kuch pata chala...
daya- wo sir humne freddy ko shopping mall sumit murder case investigation ke liye beja hai taki hum yaha discuss kar sake...
pic 4
Acp- muje pata tha daya... HUMNE matlab tum dono ne... Koi bhi kam tum dono ek dusre ko bina bataye nahi karte..( daya is shyly luking at acp now). Accha thik hai humara freddy bhi khush ho jayega aur kitne din guzar gaye koi jashn nahi hua beauru mein... Aur ek baat daya abhi wo apne code words use karna mana hai(daya is still shy) its an order... Muje batake karna jo bhi karo( man mein) code words tumare to mein bhi break nahi kar paunga...

<plz sorry as i have not put pics as i am on mobile , n when i get online i will put pics . Hope u all like this.>


Edited by Padmpriya - 01 August 2011 at 10:25am

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DivAniTanni

IF-Sizzlerz

DivAniTanni

Joined: 22 April 2009

Posts: 19884

Posted: 30 July 2011 at 5:06am | IP Logged
Entry No-2

(In the Forensic Lab)


Freddy: Salunkhe Sir, aap goli paakriye zara.
Salunkhe: Kyun main goli pakroo?
Freddy: Kyunki mujhe abhi acting karna hain. Main chahta hoon ke aap mujhpe goli rakhiye aur main kis tarha ek superhero ki tarha aapse goli chinloo aur aapko ghayal kardoo aap woh dekhiye.
Salunkhe: Freddy yaar, tumhari demagki bati itna zyada jalraha hain ke kabhi bhi fuse ho sakti hain. Par ek baat batao, tumhe acting ki kya zaroorat pari!! Tum to CID me ho aur yeh sab bahadoori hamesha hi karte aayeho (Salunkhe laughs secretly)LOL.
Freddy: Haa Sir, par yahan to main hero baan nehi paya. To sochraha hoon ke film ka hi hero baan jaoon. Koi to mera kadar karega tab. Issiliye practice kar raha hoon.
Salunkhe: O yeh baat! Thik hain, main goli chalata hoo. Hands up!
Freddy: Arre Sir, trigger maat dabaiyen, goli bhari hain! Aisa na ho ke hero banne se pehle main aasman me udhne lagoo aatma banke!!


(In the bureau)

ACP: Udhar kya dekhra ha ho, Abhijeet!!
Abhijeet: Woh Sir, kuch bhi nehi.
Abhijeet: Sir, Tarika jee aane wali thi na bureau me...kuch reports bageira leke. Hain na Sir??
ACP: Haan woh to hain.

(He turns to Abhijeet and becomes lil angry)

Abhijeet,Tarika nehi aayegi. Uski baadle tum aabhi jao aur uss ladke ka pata karo.
Abhijeet: Thik hain Sir. Main uski baad Salunkhe saab se milne forensic lab me chale aayoon kya?
(ACP gives a funny look.)
Abhijeet: Chalta hoon Sir.


(In the Forensic Lab)

ACP: Arre yeh kya horaha hain! Salunkhe tu Freddy ko marna kyun chahta hain! Isne koi ulti baate to nehi karliya.
Salunkhe: Arre nei yaar, ispe acting ka bhut chara hain! Hero banne ki taiari chalraha hain!
Daya: (laughing)Ha ha, Freddy aur acting. Sir, suna aapne freddy film ka hero banna chahta hain! Ha ha ha!LOL
ACP: Haan,film ka hero to aab yeh nahi ban payega par hero ka bhai ya baap zaroor banega.
Freddy: Sir, kya main itna buddha hoon, ke aap mere is tara insult kar raha hain. Koi mera kadarhi nehi karta. Kya zindagi hain!! (Freddy cries)LOL
ACP: E ro maat!
Daya: Aa..Sir, hamari film ki baat kare?
ACP: Kya?
Daya: Matlab hamari case ki baat kare!!
ACP: Haan!
Daya: Ladki ka baal mili hain!
Freddy: Mujhe bhi dikhaiyena Sir!
Salunkhe:Aab freddy baal ki khal nikalega jaroor...hero jo hain!!
Freddy: Abb...Nehi dekhna hain mujhe.


(In the Forensic Lab)

Abhijeet: Sir...ladka milgaya!!
Daya: Kya Abhijeet! Tumne Tarika ke liye ladka dhundh liya? Kitna mahan ho tum yaar. Bahoot accha kam kiya. Aab Tarika jee aur kuwari nehi rahengi. Bahoot bariya.(Daya gives a naughty laugh)
Abhijeet: K k k kya!! L L Ladka...Tarika ke liye??? (He takes time to control himself)
(Then becomes red with shy)Wohto hai hi na! Unki hi samne, aspash hamesha...unki liye ladka ki aur keya zaroorat hain!
Daya yaar, yeh ye bilkool thik nahi hain! Mera to heart attack hi aa gaya tha.LOL
Salunkhe: Ha wohto...(ACP stops him)
ACP:Salunkhe, mudde ki baat kar.
Salunkhe: Mudde ki baat, aab yaha jo film chalraha hain, uska mudde ki baat to ye hi na ke dulha milgaya, shadi parhao bhai. Pandit bhi yaha hain. Woh hamara Freddy, hero banna chahta hain. Shadi karana kisi hero se kaam nehi. Yeh aise baise koi insaan ki baat hain kya. Pandit to hero hi hota hain na!LOL Balke hero se bhi zyada bara kam karta hain!
ACP: Salunkhe kya film bilm lagake rakha hain!
Daya: Freddy ka kaam hain yeh sir. Yeh Baat chit usne shuru kiya tha na!!
ACP:(ACP gives a weird and suspicious look)Aur tumne to kahani ka climax hi khara kar diya.
Daya: Sir, woh main!!!(Daya turns red nowEmbarrassedLOL)
ACP:Accha chalo yeh sab choro. Shadi ki baat karte hain.
Abhijeet: Kya Sir!! Aap bhi!!
ACP:Arre us ladki ka shadi jis ladke se huyi thi tumne uska hi khabar laye ho na...sahi na???
Abhijeet: Haan haan Sir! Chaliye.



Edited by TanniSDaya - 01 August 2011 at 8:39am

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deepika102

IF-Sizzlerz

deepika102

Joined: 20 June 2010

Posts: 10489

Posted: 30 July 2011 at 7:06am | IP Logged
ENTRY NO_3



Freddy enters the forensic lab to find Dr Salunkhe bending over a beaker filled with some sort of a chemical. A gun also lies nearby. Suddenly Freddy sees that a strand of Salunkhe's hair is about to fall into the chemical, so he rushes forward and pulls away that hair. Salunkhe immediately reacts angrily as he never takes kindly to anyone touching his precious hair.Wink
Salunkhe(angrily)- Freddy, tumhari himmat kaise hui mere balo ko haath lagane ki?

Freddy(looking scared)- Arey Dr sahab, wo toh aapke baal chemical mein girne wale thhey isliye maine hataa dia...(now with a silly naughty look)- Dr sahab, sach sach bataiye, aap wig lagate hei isliye aap kisi ko ye baal chhune nahin dete na?

Salunkhe(looking angrier than before)- Excuse me, Mr Freddy, mere jo ye baal hei na wo asli hei, fasal ki tarah ugaye hein maine...

Freddy(laughing)- ha ha ha...Dr sahab main utna ullu nahin hun jitna aap samajhte hein..aapke ye baal nakli hei..maine keh dia bas...

Salunkhe- Ab bohot ho gaya..bohot dino se tumhara wo ACP mere baalo ko lekar mujhpar hasta aaya hei, ab tum bhi, iski sazaa tumhe milegi

Salunkhe picks up the gun lying nearby and points it at Freddy.

Freddy- Arey..ye ..ye aap kya kar rahe hei Dr sahab...I am sorry..aapke baal bilkul asli hein

Salunkhe- Nahin ab toh tumhe wohi karna parhega jo main kahunga nahin toh aaj mere haatho tumhara khoon hoga.

Salunkhe tells Freddy to do something hearing which Freddy turns ashen faced.(what Salunkhe tells him to do will be revealed laterWink)


Next day at the bureau. Abhijeet is looking worried and pacing the outer offfice when ACP marches in and after acknowledging Abhijeet's greetings, notices his worried look.

ACP- Kya hua Abhijeet? Tum kuch pareshan dikh rahe ho?

Abhijeet- Haan sir, main bohot pareshan hu aur saath main daraa bhi hua hu. Itna darr toh mujhe tabh nahin lagaa jab Dr Tarika bina baat ke lab mein zor zor se hasne lagi thi. Main tabse bhabhiji ko phone lagaa raha hu par wo phone hi nahin utha rahin

ACP- KAUN BHABHIJI? DAYA NE SHAADI KAR LI AUR MUJHE BATAYA TAKK NAHIN AUR TUM NAYI BHABHI SE BAAT BHI KARNE LAG GAYE, ABHIJEET

Abhijeet- Arey nahin sir, ye aap kya keh rahe hein..Daya aur shaadi..main toh Freddy ki wife ki baat kar raha hu, hum sabki iklauti bhabhi.

ACP- Nahin mujhe lagaa shaadi karne ka drama karte karte iss baar Daya ne sach mein shaadi kar li. Par tum achanak Freddy ki wife ko kyu phone kar rahe ho?

Abhijeet(with a worried look on his face)- Sir, apna Freddy, wo bilkul chup ho gaya hei. Kal jabse wo forensic lab se aaya hei, tabse hasna toh duur ki baat chup chap sa ho gaya hei. Isliye maine usey ghar bhej dia.

ACP- Hey bhagwaan! Ye Freddy lagta hei pura hi pagal ho gaya hei. Mujhe pataa tha 1 din aisa hi kuch hoga. Agar wo kaam karne layak nahin raha toh main usey suspend kar dunga.

Abhijeet(with a look as if he is on the brink of tears)- Sir, agar aapne aisa kia toh main CID chorh dunga. Abhi bhi mere paas 1 resignation letter hei. Main hamesha apne saath 1 sample rakhta hu, pataa nahin kab aap koi senti baat keh do aur mujhe resign karna parhe.LOL

ACP- Arey Abhijeet, tum bhi na...Acha, ye Daya kahan hei.

Abhijeet- Sir, wo lab gaya hei pataa lagane ki aakhir aisa kya hua lab mein jis wajah se Freddy ko sadma laga


Daya arrives just then and looks flustered.

ACP- Ab tumhe kya hua?

Daya- Sir, ye Dr Salunkhe...main unki izzat karta hu bohot nahin toh mera bhi mann kia ki unhe do chaar baatei suna du. Unhone Freddy ke saath jo kia uski maafi unhe yahan toh kya wahan bhi nahin milegi(points upwards to indicate heaven)

ACP- Hua kya hei?

Daya- Sir, Dr Salunkhe ne gunpoint pe Freddy se apni wife ko phone pe ye kehne ko kaha ke wo usey talaak dena chahta hei...aur ye sunke shayad Freddy ki wife apne mayke chali gai.

ACP and Abhijeet (in unison)- KYA?

ACP-Salukhe ne aisa kyu kia? Aur gun loaded thi kya?

Daya- Sir Freddy ne dr sahab se kaha ke wo wig pehente hei. Nahin gun loaded nahin thi par Dr Salunkhe ne Freddy se kaha ke loaded hei aur usey sabak sikhane ke liye aisa kia.

ACP(shaking his head)- Ab Salunkhe ke baalo ke baare mein bolega toh aisa hi hoga na...kuch karna parhega.

Abhijeet standing nearby scratching the corner of his mouth, clears his throat and draws the other two's attention.

Abhijeet- Mere paas 1 idea hei jisse Salunkhe sahab bhi maan jaenge aur Freddy aur bhabhiji ki ladai bhi khatm ho jaegi.

He takes them to a corner and tells them of a plan. Daya with a smiling face is seen leaving the bureau.


Next day, ACP waits for good news. Daya arrives.

ACP(grimacing as he fears hearing bad news)- Kya hua? Sab theek ho gaya?

Daya(chewing his lower lip and giving a mock worried look)- Hua par sir bohot papad belne parhe. Pehle toh Dr Salunkhe maan hi nahin rahe thhey. Par tabhi Freddy aa gaya aur hamare plan ke mutabik wo America se exported variety hair shampoos aur combs ka package bhi leke aaya aur Dr Salunkhe se muskurate hue maafi mangi aur...

ACP- aur fir? Salunkhe ne usey maaf kia?

Daya(laughing)- haan sir, woh toh satve aasmaan pe pohoch gaye aur Freddy ko gale se lagaa lia.

ACP- Aur Freddy ki wife?

Abhijeet who arrives just then with Freddy speaks out.

Abhijeet - Phir bas, Dr Salunkhe ne Freddy ki wife ko phone kar dia aur sach bataa dia

Freddy(looking very happy and grinning from ear to ear) - Haan sir, ab sab theek ho gaya, main abhi abhi itne saare bartan maanj ke aaya hu. Itna sukh mila mujhe...

Trio laugh in unison and everything gets back to normalcy.Big smile




Edited by deep_baner - 01 August 2011 at 7:42am

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kelly32shalini.cidNandiniraizaadaBhavanabHasini_smileSaadritasunnyp1414Rashida15debasree04-SNEHAL-

neeme

IF-Sizzlerz

neeme

Joined: 07 October 2010

Posts: 24131

Posted: 30 July 2011 at 11:42am | IP Logged
Sory guys, i m not b abel to take part in contest. I dnt have internet access.there is problem on my internet connection. And through mobile i can't add Caps .:-|
and time is going to end tom. So, if u guys can change ur entry numbers. Then do that. I m realy sory 4 ths. . .bt i m helples due to internet.

Edited by neeme - 03 August 2011 at 1:22pm

NehAditya8791

IF-Dazzler

NehAditya8791

Joined: 20 January 2006

Posts: 3989

Posted: 30 July 2011 at 8:34pm | IP Logged
~reserved~
entry no 5 

shalini.cid

Senior Member

shalini.cid

Joined: 15 May 2011

Posts: 431

Posted: 31 July 2011 at 12:09am | IP Logged

cant come online in the weekdays so posting my entry now itself 

ENTRY - 6

 

Freddy Kidnapped

Freddy - ye ye ye kya kar rahe ho?Confused

Kidnapper - maloom nahi? KIDNAP!! muhahahaha

Freddy - kyooon?Shocked

Kidnapper - mujhe kidnapping ka shock hai!! i mean shauk hai...LOL

Freddy - hindi nahi aata?

kidnapper - kidnapping karne ke liye hindi zaroorat hai kya? ek doon?Angry

freddy - kya? 

kidnapper - kick!! kick ko kya bolta hai...? haaan thappad! nahi laak!

freddy - ye theek nahi hai! CID ko dhamka rahe ho kya? tumhara 'udheshy' kya hai?LOL

kidnapper - abeee!!!! kaha na ki i dont know hindi!!! SPEAK IN ENGLISH

freddy - Why have u brought me here?

kidnapper - because im fed up with ur jokes in CID. i miss the real detective in freddyOuch

freddy - main kya kar sakta hoon? ye sab FW ka kaam hai... FW se bata dena ki bhavishy mein yeh mat karna 

Kidnapper - kitni times kaha that mujhe hindi maloom nahi!!! goli maar doon kya???

freddy- nahhhiii meri biwi akeli hogi..!!! CID mere bina chal nahi sakta!!!Wink

kidnapper- ye to maine didnt think!! tumhare bina cid will be incomplete!!sorry!! tumhe chod denge!!! aur plz ainda kisi ko aise mat IRRITATE karna!

freddy - thank u ji!! kabhi ghar mein aana to zaroor khichdi khila doonga!!!LOL

 

Scene -2 (bearau)

ACP : abhijeet! Yeh freddy ab tak nahi aaya... kya hua? Kuch bataaya usne?

Abhi : nahi sir... kahi bhabhi ji se koi jadga...Confused

Daya: ho sakta hai boss... ho sakta hai!

ACP : phone karo use

Abhi: nahi sir!! Agar freddy bhaabi ke saath hai to hame bhi daant padenge.. aur nahi hai to...


Daya: ye bhi ho sakta hai ki use koi use uta ke le gaya!!Ouch

Acp: hmm...(in thoughts)

Abhi: hahaha ye sochna bhi mat! Agar aisa hua to Freddy utane vale ko paka pakakar voh use chod dega!LOL

(Freddy enters running not shown in pic)

Freddy - chod diya!

ACP - kya? Kaha te itne der?

Freddy - SIR! Koi mujhe uta ke le gaya!!!

Daya - kya!! Aur  tum yaha kaise? Kaise chod diya? Kyon utaya?Shocked

Freddy - Voh to mera FAN tha... maine use kuch saval poocha aur voh mujhe cohd diya

Abhi - Dekha! Maine kaha na ki hamare freddy ko koi uta nahi sakta!... pehalvan hai!(jokingly)Tongue

Freddy - Thankyou sir!!Big smile

Abhi - arre nahi freddy tumhe to promotion mil sakta hai itne bahaduri kaam kiya hai!

Freddy - Thankyou sir! Koi bhi hai mere liye!! Main aapko pastry khila doongaLOL

Abhi - theek hai... aaj shaam ko XYZ bakery jayengeWink


ACP - Abhijeet! Meine socha ki tum pastry khaana chod diya!ShockedAngry

Abhi - sir bas aise hi.Embarrassed.!!

Daya - aise hi??(remembers abhijeet punishd to walk on treadmil and abhi's love for pastry)Wink (expression in the last pic)



Edited by shalini.cid - 31 July 2011 at 12:44am

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Jyotimena

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Jyotimena

Joined: 31 January 2011

Posts: 9307

Posted: 31 July 2011 at 1:06am | IP Logged


it is my 1st attempt Big smile

FREDDY KI TRICK!!!Big smile
entry-7Star
StarStarpic1
freddy entered his home.
Fred-us vivek ko toh choduga nahi!ACP Sir ke samne meri bejati kari!par mein bhi toh pagal hu jo nakli chipkali se dar gaya!
Suddenly some1 with yellow shirt jump on him!
'aaa...'fred screamed.
'kon hai'he look here and there but he found noone!
'khi bhoot toh nahi?'he thought,
suddenly a man with white hair and a gun aimed at freedy jumped out from the window.fred screamed and screamed with eyes closed...
'sir kya hua?'vivek said manteling his disguice.he was shaking fred who while screaming had fallen on the ground ,fainted!
Pic-2LOL
(after 0.5 hours)
acp-abhijeet daya! Freddy aur vivek kha hai?
Abhi-s..sir pata nahi.vivek toh fred ke pass hoga.hame chinta nahi jarni chahiye!
Acp-theek hai
as acp went 2 his cabin daya and abhi exchanged confused glances.actually they have sent viuek to scare fred but he had not till now
daya -boss kahi vivek ki jagah fred ne toh vivek ko nahi dara diya?
Abhi-pata nahi..
Tring...tring
buerue phone rings
'hello'abhi answered.he listened 4 a while and hung up d phone
daya-kya hua?
Abhi-(whispering)vivek ka phone tha.fred behosh ho gaya..jana padega!'
making some excuse they took off,leaving only acp  in the bureau,with a mysterious smile on his face!!!!Embarrassed
Pic-3 .and pic-4LOL
as abhi and daya entered d room,they were shocked to see fred on d sofa and vivek on his side.fred was lying with his eyes close
daya-kya hua vivek?
As vivek told them d story,tears rolldown his cheeks
they tried thier hard to wake fred but in vain!
Time passed by suddnly acp entered the room!
Abhi daya-sir!aap!
As acp came near fred too stood out of the sofa!
Vivek-sir,iska matlab aap...'
fred-ha vivek! Mein to natak kar raha tha!
Abhi-par tumhe kaise pata chala?
Fred-acp sir bhi mere saath the.unhone mujhe bataya!
Everyone turned toward acp
acp-(laughing)tum fred ko pareshan karte the toh mene uski madad ki!he deserve some masti like you !
Fred at everone stunned face
said'SWEET REVENGE AT LAST'Cool
----THE END----



Edited by jyotimeena - 01 August 2011 at 6:28am

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