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The New CEO

souleraser Senior Member
souleraser
souleraser

Joined: 10 May 2010
Posts: 251

Posted: 18 July 2011 at 5:40am | IP Logged
A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job.

The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man.

Furious, the CEO asks "How much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow replies, "I make about $300 a week. Why?"

The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and says, "Here's four weeks' pay, now get out and don't come back."

The man puts the check in his pocket and promptly walks out.

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what just happened here?"

From across the room comes a voice, "Yeah, you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200."

The following 6 member(s) liked the above post:

neeru aroraRehanismsamruthak-ekta fanKai.MidnightMusings

zee10 IF-Rockerz
zee10
zee10

Joined: 17 November 2010
Posts: 7606

Posted: 19 July 2011 at 11:28am | IP Logged
it's funny... LoL

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Kai.

samrutha IF-Dazzler
samrutha
samrutha

Joined: 27 March 2011
Posts: 4733

Posted: 18 August 2011 at 6:11am | IP Logged
ROFLROFLROFLROFL
Mr_Mrs.KSG Senior Member
Mr_Mrs.KSG
Mr_Mrs.KSG

Joined: 16 April 2011
Posts: 863

Posted: 21 August 2011 at 4:59am | IP Logged
ROFL
ILuvagudLaugh Newbie
ILuvagudLaugh
ILuvagudLaugh

Joined: 04 May 2011
Posts: 41

Posted: 23 August 2011 at 12:20am | IP Logged

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high-tech corporation.

The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes, #1,#2, and #3. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said.

Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Morris was catching a lot of heat. At his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

Morris, the new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively. Sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. Morris went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.

The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

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****Watch Jayhind.tv at http://goo.gl/MwA7u and have a good laugh****


The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

MidnightMusings

shootingstar27 IF-Dazzler
shootingstar27
shootingstar27

Joined: 25 April 2010
Posts: 4495

Posted: 29 August 2011 at 1:30am | IP Logged
LOL
MidnightMusings IF-Sizzlerz
MidnightMusings
MidnightMusings

Joined: 12 January 2010
Posts: 10704

Posted: 30 August 2011 at 9:29am | IP Logged
Haha.. The CEO should have used his brain!!
NerdBuster Groupbie
NerdBuster
NerdBuster

Joined: 29 August 2011
Posts: 126

Posted: 01 September 2011 at 4:20pm | IP Logged
ROFL

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