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Through the Facade- ArHi FF Completed (Page 6)

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rosecutie

Goldie

rosecutie

Joined: 16 June 2010

Posts: 1763

Posted: 18 July 2011 at 5:33am | IP Logged
edited my reply on pg 1

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-scarlett-

IF-Dazzler

-scarlett-

Joined: 03 January 2010

Posts: 3598

Posted: 18 July 2011 at 12:37pm | IP Logged
Zee!! Hug
OMG! I have no words to describe HOW good this shot was...
can you please make this a FF...wud love tht!
Firstly the dialogues were commendable... the whole accent
and the style of speaking that you grasped out of every character
was excellent...
and the whole twist added as a masala to the story...
 

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AnotherAdmirer

AnotherAdmirer

IF-Rockerz

AnotherAdmirer

Joined: 17 December 2009

Posts: 8342

Posted: 19 July 2011 at 3:14am | IP Logged
Originally posted by NaDzGirl

Originally posted by TheWandmaker


Thanks for ur amazing response Nadz, it truly made my day! :D
Where was i ? Stern Smile well i penned this ROFL ROFL Jokes apart i dont think i will be a regular member, i have got lots of work pending, but one thing for sure, m addicted to IPK now and no matter wat i always make it a point to come here n check the forum posts Embarrassed

I tried my best to stick to the characters n story, was mainly circling around the third promo, that was my inspiration basically.
I have been in your shoes time n now, to be speechless yet coming up with a fullfledged response LOL LOL
Once again thanks for ur kind and heartfelt review, i have been considering turning this OS into an SS after the response, will definitely keep u updated, i was a lil lazy while doin PM's for this one LOL Embarrassed

Luv
Zee xD

gosh can't blame u for being addicted to dis cz im totally obsessed with da show...
can't even sleep or breath properly tnx to arhi... and especially ASR!!! *thud thud*
oh it ws amazingly written *here i go again*LOL i really enjoyed every bit of it...

dont worry too much cz i'l make sure dat i nag u to write more!!!! u can't escape from nadz ROFL

u buys with exams too?!?!?! if dats da case, don't write until ur exams are over!!!!!
will def bug u afterwards ROFL ROFL
Goes without saying me too, It's ArHi everywhere n  m kinda luvin it !!  LOL Embarrassed
If so then u r gonna get regular updates, m very lazy otherwise ROFL Nah not exams, new session, classes r gonna start, plus month of ramadan ahead :)
and i have many pending FF's to complete :|

AnotherAdmirer

IF-Rockerz

AnotherAdmirer

Joined: 17 December 2009

Posts: 8342

Posted: 19 July 2011 at 3:17am | IP Logged
Originally posted by marisol45

nice work zee!
explanation for arnav, anjali and khushi's past fit perfectly :):)
do write more!


thnks a lot maria, m glad u liked it :)
tried to give it my best :D will surely keep writing Embarrassed

AnotherAdmirer

IF-Rockerz

AnotherAdmirer

Joined: 17 December 2009

Posts: 8342

Posted: 19 July 2011 at 3:28am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rosecutie

res*edited*


This was a fantastic update ZJ .ClapClapClap
Totally loved it.I loved how u unfolded the mystery of the past of Arnav & Khushi.The dialogues and the story seemed real.And the first tym u attempted to write in Hindi it was so good.Feeling bad for Khushi but i know that she will do her best and fight for her rights.Thumbs UpShe will leave no stone unturned in making Arnav realize his mistakes.She is standing right and wudn't give up so easily.I even loved the last part where she's frying jalebis and eating it herselfLOL whenever she's furious.Thanks for the pm and do continueHug


Luv
Nikki



Thanks for ur kind and heartfelt response nikki Embarrassed
I have attempted writing in Hindi before as u wud knw, but Buaji's style is hard..! LOL Embarrassed
I am luvin the current track of IPK, it indeed is a very unique show n abt Khushi frying Jalebi's a very unique trait introduced in the show, i cant recall any female lead consuming so many calories in the form of jalebi's while stressed...Icecream is ever famous, but jalebi's truly add the unique touch, i luv the Lucknowi background, as to how Nani has a goat as a pet, rather than a dog or a cat..these are sweet little nothings which add cuteness in overall terms to the show. I will try to be a regular updater LOL once again thanks for reading :)

Lots of Luv
Zee Hug

AnotherAdmirer

IF-Rockerz

AnotherAdmirer

Joined: 17 December 2009

Posts: 8342

Posted: 19 July 2011 at 3:34am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Vishwa-

Zee!! Hug
OMG! I have no words to describe HOW good this shot was...
can you please make this a FF...wud love tht!
Firstly the dialogues were commendable... the whole accent
and the style of speaking that you grasped out of every character
was excellent...
and the whole twist added as a masala to the story...
 

Thanks for appreciating my work Embarrassed Glad u liked it :D
I will surely be turning it into an FF, no guarantees on how its gonna turn out though :P
@Blue- I am glad u felt that way, it was one of the many reasons i felt hesitant to write on ArHi, Its been one month and i started getting these ideas, i felt maybe i was ready to write something, and this is wat i came up with, am glad i did Embarrassed
Once again thanks for reading :)

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-scarlett-

a little faith

Goldie

a little faith

Joined: 09 January 2009

Posts: 2040

Posted: 19 July 2011 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
Zeejay, Sorry for the delay,

I loved the opening line, wherein you set a scene of business through that busyness of her mind, frenzy...million thoughts...rushing.  Excellently done. You follow this theme of mess, of a blur later, with murmurs of the office, and that half-listening so that everything seems to be in a haze.  Nicely done.

I loved, JUST LOVED that contrast from those chills running down her spine to his flaming eyes, elucidating their conflicting ends beautifully.

I loved how you capture that cute charm of Khushi in her truly hatke manner and thoughts, where she is gulping down water, again that theme of urgency, thinking of him, so that her actions of pouring on water almost as though she hopes to abate his fierce temper.  I loved, JUST LOVED, that kooky, guilt ride/ trip,  a pun, Khushi style.  Also echoing the manner they first met and the second too, that journey, a ride and then being tripped.  Then that later planned ..trip for we prepare for trips whereas rides tend to be more random, unforeseen.

she was interesting to watch. I loved this moment, beautifully caught. Then that wonderful segueing into Arnav Singh Raizada welcomed his rude voice at the other end."Khushi Kumari Gupta" she retorted mimicking him. LOLExcellent.

You played out the dialogue between Khushi and her family eloquently, it never seemed forced or overly dramatic, but natural despite the dramatic content.

I loved, JUST LOVED, the last elucidating paragraphs.  but also a family..a name, an identity. This strength they gave her becomes the very reason she is able to be strong against their wishes, beautifully expounded.

I liked how you don't send Khushi's thought in circles so that she becomes confused or deluded. Rather always remains true to herself, thinking the best of EVERYONE, wanting to fix the past, present AND future, so that all are happy, all are good.  Excellently done and very true to Khushi. So that ease into liking Arnav is almost expected. 

except the sweetness of the Jalebi's and the sourness in her heart, which simply wouldnt go.  I loved, just loved this last line, the Khushi style of fixing sadness, with much, much sweetness.  Really cute. 

Zeejay, wonderful OS.  Love Sabah

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AnotherAdmirerlara3110

AnotherAdmirer

IF-Rockerz

AnotherAdmirer

Joined: 17 December 2009

Posts: 8342

Posted: 21 July 2011 at 2:59am | IP Logged
Originally posted by a little faith

Zeejay, Sorry for the delay,

I loved the opening line, wherein you set a scene of business through that busyness of her mind, frenzy...million thoughts...rushing.  Excellently done. You follow this theme of mess, of a blur later, with murmurs of the office, and that half-listening so that everything seems to be in a haze.  Nicely done.

I loved, JUST LOVED that contrast from those chills running down her spine to his flaming eyes, elucidating their conflicting ends beautifully.

I loved how you capture that cute charm of Khushi in her truly hatke manner and thoughts, where she is gulping down water, again that theme of urgency, thinking of him, so that her actions of pouring on water almost as though she hopes to abate his fierce temper.  I loved, JUST LOVED, that kooky, guilt ride/ trip,  a pun, Khushi style.  Also echoing the manner they first met and the second too, that journey, a ride and then being tripped.  Then that later planned ..trip for we prepare for trips whereas rides tend to be more random, unforeseen.

she was interesting to watch. I loved this moment, beautifully caught. Then that wonderful segueing into Arnav Singh Raizada welcomed his rude voice at the other end."Khushi Kumari Gupta" she retorted mimicking him. LOLExcellent.

You played out the dialogue between Khushi and her family eloquently, it never seemed forced or overly dramatic, but natural despite the dramatic content.

I loved, JUST LOVED, the last elucidating paragraphs.  but also a family..a name, an identity. This strength they gave her becomes the very reason she is able to be strong against their wishes, beautifully expounded.

I liked how you don't send Khushi's thought in circles so that she becomes confused or deluded. Rather always remains true to herself, thinking the best of EVERYONE, wanting to fix the past, present AND future, so that all are happy, all are good.  Excellently done and very true to Khushi. So that ease into liking Arnav is almost expected. 

except the sweetness of the Jalebi's and the sourness in her heart, which simply wouldnt go.  I loved, just loved this last line, the Khushi style of fixing sadness, with much, much sweetness.  Really cute. 

Zeejay, wonderful OS.  Love Sabah

 
Heyy Sabah Hug About the delay it really doesnt matter, I understand. you can always take your time and even consider not reading i have my crappy moments when a piece of work just becomes too um horrible.

That aside thanks for appreciating my work, I am really glad u liked it :) 
@pink- Interesting, i didnt think of it that way LOL see tht was a fluke :P thts wat i mean when i say u add beauty to things/substance with ur words! Embarrassed
@Red- I had a lot of fun while writing that part :D 
@Blue- I added that later, initially i was focusing on the track, when i read it once again, i found it lacking on the emotional front, thts when i penned these lines, i wanted to elaborate further but i thought it was getting too long, I had read somewhere that Kids who are orphans have a sort of weakness, an emotional instability regarding their identity...thts how i connected.

I am fallin short of words ryt now, I dont really know how to begin or end a sentence LOL Embarrassed

Thanks once again, It truly means a lot to me Hug

Lots of Love
Zee Embarrassed

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a little faith

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