Zeejay, Sorry for the delay,
I loved the opening line, wherein you set a scene of business
through that busyness
of her mind, frenzy...million thoughts...rushing.
Excellently done. You follow this theme of mess, of a blur later, with murmurs
of the office, and that half-listening
so that everything seems to be in a haze. Nicely done.
I loved, JUST LOVED that contrast from those chills
running down her spine to his flaming eyes,
elucidating their conflicting ends beautifully.
I loved how you capture that cute charm of Khushi in her truly hatke manner and thoughts, where she is gulping down
water, again that theme of urgency, thinking of him, so that her actions of pouring on water almost as though she hopes to abate his fierce temper. I loved, JUST LOVED, that kooky, guilt ride/ trip
, a pun, Khushi style. Also echoing the manner they first met and the second too, that journey, a ride and then being tripped. Then that later planned ..trip
for we prepare for trips whereas rides tend to be more random, unforeseen.
she was interesting to watch.
I loved this moment, beautifully caught. Then that wonderful segueing into Arnav Singh Raizada welcomed his rude voice at the other end."Khushi Kumari Gupta" she retorted mimicking him.
You played out the dialogue between Khushi and her family eloquently, it never seemed forced or overly dramatic, but natural despite the dramatic content.
I loved, JUST LOVED, the last elucidating paragraphs. but also a family..a name, an identity.
This strength they gave her becomes the very reason she is able to be strong against their wishes, beautifully expounded.
I liked how you don't send Khushi's thought in circles so that she becomes confused or deluded. Rather always remains true to herself, thinking the best of EVERYONE, wanting to fix the past, present AND future, so that all are happy, all are good. Excellently done and very true to Khushi. So that ease into liking Arnav is almost expected. except the sweetness of the Jalebi's and the sourness in her heart, which simply wouldnt go.
I loved, just loved this last line, the Khushi style of fixing sadness, with much, much sweetness. Really cute.
Zeejay, wonderful OS. Love Sabah