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UDI-BABA'S MISSING - CBI INVESTIGATION...MUST READ

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Darren_Pieu

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Darren_Pieu

Joined: 07 June 2011

Posts: 199

Posted: 12 July 2011 at 1:44am | IP Logged
Hi guys...I'm back...This post is a bit long...but plzz read and give feedback...dedicated to hardcore udi-baba haters!!!!

*********************************************************
[Another happy day at Babagiri zoo...Normally, you wouldn't associate the word 'happy' with babagiri zoo...but things have been different for the past few days...the reason?? - ek hi tho hain ...No UDI-BABA!!!!...Gorilla (Anant's dad) & Bhootni (Boo-Aah Daadi) were worried about udi-baba's missing...Rema had mixed feelings about his missing - she was half-happy because he had been the one who called off the engagement, she was half-sad because there was nobody to torture Anant...Anant is having the time of his life - no more anushaasan, no aashirvaad lena, no intolerable lectures about kul and parampara...]

[The door was knocked...Rema opened it to find a comic-looking man...]

Man: Is this the notorious babagiri zoo??

Rema: chess (means 'yes')

Man: Main hoon Inspector Doondna Merakaam from CBI...yahaan ke chief monster Mr. Udi baba kahaan hain?

Rema: woh kuch dinom se mixing (means 'missing') hain...

DM: What??...yahan ke ek aadmi kuch dinom se missing hain aur aap log police mem complaint hi nahiin kiya??

Rema: Arey injection saab (means 'inspector saab'), agar ek tsunami khatham ho gaya toh koi uske liye complaint dega kya??

DM: Chup karo aur iss zoo ke baaki sab nivasiyon ko bulaavo...

[other members of the zoo arrived]

DM: What a pity!...Aap logon ko patha hain...iss monster baba Interpol ki "MOST WANTED CRIMINALS" list mem pichle kayi saalon se No.1 hain...The Interpol declared Rs. 50 crores for his head recently...and...the paleontology department will give you even more if you hand him over to them since he is one of the few living members in their 'Ancient creatures on the verge of extinction' list...yeh sab jante huve aap logon ne unhe kho diya??...sharam hone chahiye tum logon ko!!!

Gorilla (Anant's Dad, no more mentions will be made...): Sorry sir, mujhe laga ki woh ek All India tour mem gaya hoga - to brainwash all modern people & convert them into parampara-waadis

Mohan: Sir, mujhe lagta hain ki woh hair-fixing ke liye foreign gaya hoga...aajkal yahaan ke sabhi musicians unke head ko drum samajkar stick se maartha hain...zaroor iss waje se gaya hoga...

Gorilla (roars): AREY CHUP KAR MOHAN!!!!...BAUJI HAIR-FIXING KE LIYE GHAR CHODEGA???...WOH BHI VIDESH JAANE KE LIYE????...TUMHARI HIMMAD KAISI HUI EK PARAYE KE SAAMNE YEH KEHNE KA??...TUMHE PATHA HAINA KI WOH PICHLE EK CENTURY SE APNE HAIR GROWTH PREVENT KARNE KE LIYE DRAINAGE WATER APNE HEAD PAR APPLY KARKE AAYA HAIN???...TUMHARA ACHA TIME KI WOH AB YAHAN NAHIN HAIN...AGAR HOTHA TOH ISSI WAKHT TUM 'POOF-POOF' HO JATHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DM: Woh iss ghar mem kisse sabse zyaada pyaar kartha tha??

Rema: Injection sab, baba hamare rest-in-peace bua daadi (means 'respected bua daadi') se sabse zyaada pyaar kartha tha...

DM: Unko jaldi bulaavo...

[Boo-Aah Daadi (short form - 'BAD') enters the hall screaming curses & crying out aloud...]

DM: yeh log bata rahe the ki udi baba aapse bohat pyaar kartha tha...July 3, 2011 raat ko woh gaayab ho gaya...uss se pehle unhone aapse kuch kahaa kya?

BAD: bhai sab bahut naraaz dhe ki woh besharam ladki shagun ko Anant ki sar par nahiin jhod saka...yeh baat ko leke unke dil toot gaya tha...woh agle din uss besharam ladki ke ghar jaane ki baat kar raha tha...uss besharam, bathameez,$^$&^%*^#%^%$&#%#...

DM: Missing ke baad aapne shagun ki gharwaalon se telephone mem baath kiya kya?

BAD: Arey aap kya baath kar rahe ho??...hum log telephone jaise aadhunik vasthu mem haath bhi nahin lagathe...agar door rehnewaale kisise baath karna hain toh naariyal ke pathe (coconut leaves) mem likhta aur ek kaboothar ke zariye bhejtha...lag bhag ek saal mem chitti wahaan pahunch jaatha hain...

DM(going mad): chodo, aap yeh petition par sign karo...uske baath hum sab log shagun ke ghar jaayenge...

[Inspector hands over the petition to BAD...she takes out a thin stem of neem tree, dips it in paneer and runs the stem over the petition paper...DM examines the paper]

DM: Yeh aapne kya kiya Boo-Aahji???????...SIGNATURE KE PLACE PAR AAPNE "HARI OM PRABHUJI" LIKHA HAIN...

BAD: Wahi meri hasthaakshar(signature) hain...

DM: Aaah...Chalo...shagun ke ghar

[Shagun's house in banaras...Shagun's parents are playing sudoku & shagun is feeding her pet, which is a rat]

DM: Yahaan shagun naamak ladki kaun hain?

Shagun: Ji, Main hoo...

[Suddenly, a postman came in & gave a letter to shagun...Inspector snatched the letter from shagun & read]


To,
Shagun
Bathameez Villa
Banaras

From,
The President,
All India Kidnapping & Abduction Agency(AIKAA)
Delhi

Besharam Madam,
                          It is with a shattered brain that I'm writing this letter to you. You are aware that we kidnapped Mr. Udi baba while he was returning to his zoo from your home. At the time of abduction, we had blindfolded him with a cloth made of Jupiterium to block the laser beams erupting from his eyes. Upon reaching our hideout, one of our goons removed the cloth by mistake & he vapourized instantly. He has now set the whole place on fire & is killing us one by one. We, who kidnapped him, are now being held hostage by him. You gave us Rs. one lakh for kidnapping him; Now we are ready to give you Rs. 50 lakhs or more if you take him away from here. Please come over here with an ambulance & if possible, reserve some seats in the nearby graveyard.
                                                                                                                 yours dying,
                                                                                                                          Goon Shashank  




[The inspector flaunted a victorious smile...]

DM: Ab tumhare paas kehne ke liye kuch bhi nahin bacha...Sach sach batao...tumne udi baba ko kidnap kyoon kiya tha???

Shagun: Mem pehle se hi roka radh hone se pareshaan dhi...uske oopar se...kuch din pehle woh booda yahan aaya tha...yeh bataane ke liye ki unhone mere liye ek acha sa rishta doond liya hain...aur patha hain unhone kya kaha?? - "Pranaam kaniya...Hum jaanthe hain ki aap roka radh hone se pareshaan hain...koi baath nahiin...humne aapke liye ek acche rishte ka cheshta kiya hain...Yeh ladka Gujrat ke Gir jungal mem rehta hain...aur khushi ki baath yeh hain ki yeh ladka TARZAN ka great-great-great-great-great grandson hain...usse kapdon ka koi shok nahin hain...woh bamboo leaves se bane ek underwear pehentha hain...





subah bow aur arrow leke jaanvaron ko maarne ke liye jaatha hain...hamaare parampara aur samskrithi ke liye yeh ladka uchit hain...tumhare saath masth rahega..."...Mujhe ithna gursa aaya ki maine ek kidnapping company se baath ki...Iske liye jail jaana pada toh mujhe khushi hain...

DM: Jail????...naaa...You may receive a special honour from the Indian government for 'Outstanding contribution to the welfare of the nation' for this deed of yours...let's go there immediately & save those poor kidnappers...!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With love...

DanSmile
SmileSmileSmile


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Edited by Darrenpieu - 20 December 2011 at 5:17am

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Preet078

IF-Dazzler

Preet078

Joined: 09 July 2011

Posts: 4028

Posted: 12 July 2011 at 3:29am | IP Logged
tooo Good ... Its really Nice ...

I hope Udi Baba Shagun kae liye ase hi ladka dekh ...She deserve dat only...

navyaalex8

Goldie

navyaalex8

Joined: 23 June 2011

Posts: 2170

Posted: 12 July 2011 at 3:49am | IP Logged
ROFL

Well done as usual Dan! ClapBahut khushi huwi aapke "epic story" padkar ...sorry I dont know as much shuddh hindi as u but please put in the shuddh version of epic story/prehistoric saga in its place...

I was wondering what would happen if udibaba actually went for hair fixing(pls excuse the poor hindi)...

Anant goes into his room :

Anant: Navya!... tum yahan!... phir se mere room me!... I love you ...now that I've gotten my "I Love You" quota for the day out of the way, how did u get here?...phir kabhi batana...(moves over to hug her complete with manic grin Big smile which he now does whenever he gets excited (well, atleast he's in his room now and not a college corridor Tongue))

The long haired figure wearing pink  turns around in slow-mo, complete with bhayanak music which includes thunder/lightning claps/etc...

ITS UDI BABA!!!

Anant: (wears his now perpetually scared expression with real fear in his lovvvely eyes)DeadBABA!!!! main...woh...aap...(utters other stock anant-in-museebat phrases)

CSB : Ah-nannnt...lagta hai ki aap mujhe pehchaan nahin paaya?...kya aapko aur kisi ko jaante hai  who wears pink chudis and has looong hair? ...mein aapse bahut pyaar kartein hoon...

Anant- (still shellshocked)- woh...nahin...1 minute please, let me call my saintly rama bhabhi to save me... just after I poke my eyes out. Dead...


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Arvind_k_shamya

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Posted: 12 July 2011 at 3:51am | IP Logged
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-Reshmi-

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Posted: 12 July 2011 at 3:58am | IP Logged

 Dan...Nisha,

I will die laughing ROFL 
 
 

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navyaalex8

.Juhi.

IF-Sizzlerz

.Juhi.

Joined: 23 February 2011

Posts: 16853

Posted: 12 July 2011 at 5:23am | IP Logged
OMFG...hilarious post ROFL ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

Ram's hinglish was ossam
ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

-Yamini-

IF-Rockerz

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Joined: 11 May 2011

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Posted: 12 July 2011 at 5:27am | IP Logged
Awesome post and very hilarious also ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

barbie2011

IF-Rockerz

barbie2011

Joined: 15 June 2011

Posts: 6495

Posted: 12 July 2011 at 7:04am | IP Logged
Awesome ans hillarious post..ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL
i am amazed by your creativity and imaginationClapStar..what a story..I hope Shagun ke saath aisa hi ho...beechare UDi-babaLOLLOL..

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