Pratigya
Pratigya
Pratigya

India-Forums

   

What's up with Trust n all ??

tanthya IF-Addictz
tanthya
tanthya

Joined: 24 July 2009
Posts: 52583

Posted: 04 July 2011 at 12:47am | IP Logged


Haylllo  Namkeens,

Hwzz life??Big smile


I know that the forum has atkified on Dharmendra,Pratigya's re-entry, and TIRAAST ..Me, will wait for Sholay re-enactment and jaya Bhaduri  assent [ I know i am mixing up the character, but try as much as possible, I cannot pic Pratigya as Basanti ]and the inevitable fireworks, explosions that Pratigya will bring in her wake to Thakur Nivas...and not to be left out, I would like to add my own squawk  to the looming Trust Issue...


What is Trust ?? ..This was the first question that reared its head in my black Box ...and forthwith I consulted my oracle of Delphi , which promptly answered that ..

Trust, in a practical sense, means that you place confidence in someone to be honest with you, faithful to you, keep promises, vows and confidences and not abandon you.

Keeping this in mind... can we ask ourselves, whether Krishna placed any trust on Pratigya ..then the answer is NO !!..for he did not place his confidence on her , did not keep his vow of always being by her side  and abandoned her ...So does this  acquit Pratigya of any culpability ,,has she been the champion of Trust ,,again taking the  aforementioned maxim , then I would say that Pratigya had not been very forth coming about all the facts and did not bare her knowledge choosing instead to guard  it in her bosom   ## Agreed that Krishna got angry when she first let slip about Amma's plot , but hey you are fighting for ur relationship , aren't you?? after a token effort..you just give up and await the guillotine ..## ...So in my view..both loved each other but their love was not strong , has not grown to a level where one can rely on the other...


"The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they're not, we cry."


Trusting another person needs a realistic look at the other person, His/her back ground, the factors that make him what made him/her what he/she is today and also an acceptance of failure ..You cannot expect a mango fruit out of a  Neem seed .. Nor will a Mango tree yield its fruit immediately, one needs to work at it,pruning [removing the weakness, secrets], adding fertilizer [ ur unconditional love,support ], adding pesticides [  being open and honest & not letting any unwanted members into the inner circle ].Trust works best when there is no pre-conditon's attached ...

Trust is no commodity that can be brought from a mall..it is a feeling/ a belief that needs to be worked at by both and not only by one party..people are no  simple creatures, they are complex machines and their emotion's even more complex...and this emotions cannot be changed or erased over night ... a reasonable   time frame should be given  and both must work at it..it cannot be achieved by the efforts of a single individual ..Trust has to be earned ..but without knowing what components constitutes Trust ..How will any one earn Trust...for instance what was lacking  in Pratigya that Krishna did not trust her choosing instead to trust his Amma more...Why is Pratigya chary  of  hotfooting back into Haveli .. What factors will ensure the re-germination of Trust in Krishna ? has she enlightened Krishna with her expectation's ?? Krishna is aware that Pratigya does not trust him , but is he aware what will  reassert her trust in him..Did he ask her ??



"Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don't over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness."

 Leo F. Buscaglia




There is a sequence in Pratigya, wherein the heroine over rides her father's counsel and  knowledgeably informs him on the laws of marriage including the hidden clauses ...A scene which raised my eye brows !! I mean here was a gentle  Man who had 25 + years of married life, one  who has given quarter of his life in nurturing and maintaining this relationship , one who has seen the best and worst, the up's and down's of a married life and  she without even a micro second pause softly brushes off his suggestion...How many years of married life has she lived...not even a year,  out of which half  the time was in cold war, remaining quarter championing the cause of others and the other quarter to her husband ..then on what is she  basing her assumption's...is it on books...which chemistry book dealt with marriage &  relationship ?? ..and her second  assertion that their relationship will undergo a test ?? excuse me !! Test & relationship  !! if the test is for relationship...should not both be giving it ..why only one...and is Krishna informed about the test, has he been given an option?/ what if he fails, will Pratigya opt to stay on in  Green house indefinitely..we already saw the reaction f her mother when that washer woman probed about  Pratigya's continued stay...What comes across is the fact that Pratigya takes krishna's love for herself as granted, she is confident that he loves her...and this knowledge drives her ..it was her over weening confidence in Krishna's love that  kept her quite smug  and not very pro active during Amma's  war games ...she assumed that hell or high water Krishna will be there ...even now, she is doing the same mistake of taking him for granted ...she is fully confident that he will do whatever it takes to win her back  and she is complacent..her complacency was shaken when Amma stirred the pot , but once again it is taking roots ...her assured stance belies the fact that Krishna will come through, If she was so  confident  about the fact that Krishna will  change, then why not go  when he called the first time..Go home, sit down and explain that she came bec she knows that he loves her but there is a trust deficit and until that is overcome, she is not willing for any conjugal bliss ..but  she does not do that, she packs off Krishna telling him that he has to prove himself ..and she is quite sure of the outcome too !!,,IMO more than Krishna's continued and repeated blunder ..it is the complacency that kills the relationship...ppl close their eyes to the happening around them, the changes happening to their partner and simply assume that the partner will be there always, forgetting the fact that Marriage is a dynamic relationship, it needs constant attention,bit of time  n up in the priority list for the relationship to survive...

Both of them are young and no angels, whereas one is aware of his mistakes , the other one is still not aware of her weak spots ...it is when both hunker  down and have a frank and free discussion instead of the roundabout  ones that Pratigya gives or the bombastic ones that Krishna delivers ..Then only then will this marriage leave first base !! else it will always be prone to storms and also make for an unequal relationship where sooner than later , the marriage will crumble unable to bear this unequal distribution...



"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy"

 Walter Anderson


People are human, frail, and sinful. Therefore, you need a realistic type of trust when you choose to trust someone. Trusting grows in relationships over time because as you spend time together with someone you build knowledge, understanding and authenticity. You gain insight into another person's character, needs, motivations and fears.



Unconditional love develops trust .The result is a growing trust in the other person. Not because that person is perfect but because that person is growing in honesty.When love is not patient or enduring; when love is unforgiving and always disappointed or looking for something to go wrong, it generates fear and looks for imperfections in the other person. Fear-based love is conditional creating an atmosphere of distrust, dishonesty and instability.You can have a limited trust in people as you grow to know them and they see you really care about them but the fact is that people will let us down. That is reality.


Take a look at yourself as well...

You will never be perfect and therefore, you will probably disappoint your loved one as well. You can promise to never say something hurtful or never tell a lie or never exaggerate or always keep your promises or (you name it) but since you are human you will also make mistakes and disappoint that person. The only thing you or your loved one can promise is to grow..

The components of love, forgiveness and commitment are as necessary to trust in a relationship as is honesty. Forgiveness gives you the chance to start over and trust another fallible human being again. Love helps to nourish trust. Commitment and honesty provide accountability to one another.


@ brown : sourced from an article...



Edited by tanthya - 04 July 2011 at 12:52am

The following 25 member(s) liked the above post:

mansoor87sweet_bhankiMeaningfulsudharao100ninahegdeprernacdassweety007akku8910lakshmi_pai-BugsBunny-aka.aieridreeskhan123arryline...Binny...geescorvetteTheAAcreationsa_umaAziyaMERARAIwaniya_fatimaSnigdha_KhanamMitu_....Poojie....-KingOfHearts-

waniya_fatima IF-Sizzlerz
waniya_fatima
waniya_fatima

Joined: 18 March 2009
Posts: 23844

Posted: 04 July 2011 at 1:05am | IP Logged
am meethi so can i post here :D :P
tanthya IF-Addictz
tanthya
tanthya

Joined: 24 July 2009
Posts: 52583

Posted: 04 July 2011 at 1:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by waniya_fatima

am meethi so can i post here :D :P


main hoona, Spicy..I'll balance u out..tho post karo..U here n I am waiting  u know where Wink
akku8910 Goldie
akku8910
akku8910

Joined: 06 October 2010
Posts: 1153

Posted: 04 July 2011 at 1:30am | IP Logged
A  very   good  analysis  abt  the  trust  factor   which  is  an  eye  opener  for  not  only     married  couples  but  also  as  individuals  who  has  also  later  got  2  foray  into  this  relationship.Trust  in  a marriage  doesn't  take  place in  a  year  or  2  but  over   the  years  of  understanding  btw  individuals ,  accepting  each  other  as they  are  and  who  they  r  as  individuals  and  ofcourse   communicating  with  each  other  ie,  a heart   2  heart  talk  which  is  also  a big  factor. 
Coming  2   K &  P  marriage  they  r  still  in  the  grassroot  level  according  2  me.    Before  she  places  the  test  of  marriage   2  K   she  has  2 look at  herself  as  an  individual    and  try  2  understand  her  husband  as  a  person-  their  weaknesses,  their  strengths  as  a  couple  and  should  go  abt  building  the  trust  btw  them   gradually.

The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

sudharao100Featsa_umababithaj

lakshmi_pai Goldie
lakshmi_pai
lakshmi_pai

Joined: 08 August 2010
Posts: 2171

Posted: 04 July 2011 at 2:29am | IP Logged
i loved your presentation of the post di...well clubbed..

i think both are on the same boat as wat to do next...pratigya cant do anything without krishna's response...krishna responded and again confirmed that he will do everything possible to get his babu back...pratigya failed miserably ...she was expecting something mature from baba's side...but he can be mature only if she is with him..he has done most of such things in her presence...like kesar's rescue, opening dhaba etc...

i dont think that these love-birds have a space to share their sorrow and happiness in this TN.krishna will not understand his responsibilities unless they move out from TN.i think krishna will grow up himself when he is out of TN...he will face the  difficulties regarding money , his health , taking care of his wife, her safety...everything.they will grow as a couple only at that tym...

but still they need to adjust their life with their family members than being seperate .....Confused...pratigya is bahu of that house ...needs to play each and every role as others do...but still i want her to give more tym to krishna and their life than ditectivegiri...


Edited by baba2babu - 04 July 2011 at 2:32am

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

UnfinishedFeats

dhakarn IF-Sizzlerz
dhakarn
dhakarn

Joined: 16 May 2010
Posts: 15484

Posted: 04 July 2011 at 3:25am | IP Logged
Nice post di, K was the one who explained her the importance of love n trust n also the one who made promises of being with her every moment n pleadging never to leave her alone...many times he himself made a mockery of his own sweet talks often ending up breaking her heart...he must realize that all this love n love words should b converted to actions ...n don't expect her to love u n forgive for whatever u do...n seems like K is gonna b more stubborn n immature with this suicide diraama n P is gonna forgive him just like that...
babithaj IF-Rockerz
babithaj
babithaj

Joined: 16 August 2010
Posts: 9560

Posted: 04 July 2011 at 3:26am | IP Logged
If u look TRUST, its like do not Q other's actions n simply believe him/her without doubting... If this is trust, iam sorry, i don't want tht...  I feel in a relationship...Individuality is very important, we should not lack individuality for a long go... bcos if u try to mould urself to the likes and dislikes of a person, u tend to loose ur identity... which is not good n life will be boring after sometime...
 I want kriya to be together, whichever way, never mind...
 But its all abt after they get together, WHAT????? bcos till then they'll not shine in their own ways... bcos they themselves suffering without eachother... they cannot force this separation on them anymore...Its like a fire, unless it is putoff, anything n everything will materialize for them... Its only my POV...
 Thank Sathya... for such a huge post...Thumbs Up

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Feats

tanthya IF-Addictz
tanthya
tanthya

Joined: 24 July 2009
Posts: 52583

Posted: 04 July 2011 at 4:00am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ramanbabitha

If u look TRUST, its like do not Q other's actions n simply believe him/her without doubting... If this is trust, iam sorry, i don't want tht...  I feel in a relationship...Individuality is very important, we should not lack individuality for a long go... bcos if u try to mould urself to the likes and dislikes of a person, u tend to loose ur identity... which is not good n life will be boring after sometime...
 I want kriya to be together, whichever way, never mind...
 But its all abt after they get together, WHAT????? bcos till then they'll not shine in their own ways... bcos they themselves suffering without eachother... they cannot force this separation on them anymore...Its like a fire, unless it is putoff, anything n everything will materialize for them... Its only my POV...
 Thank Sathya... for such a huge post...Thumbs Up


No, It is not like that...I suggest you read it again ...

Very well put, individuality is needed and the two individuals should have a merging point..they simply cannot run parallel the rest of their lives if their individuality is total opposites ..

Ppl always  evolve..if  we take a look at our self..we are not the same that we were a few years ago...but of course a few basic traits never change...


KRIYA should be together only when Krishna has a semblance of maturity [ which he is sadly lacking so far]  and Pratigya a semblance of reality ...

u r contradicting urself..if both are individuals , how can they not exist without one another..being individuals they can very well stay apart happily pursuing their other activities ..


They are not forcing the separation..she consciously chose to be apart from him until he learns some hard facts about relationship ..and he respected her enough to let her be !!

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Feats

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Author Replies Views Last Post
i dont trust aman

Author: carisma2   Replies: 6   Views: 497

carisma2 6 497 20 August 2010 at 1:34pm by daisyluv
Whats the use of realisation?

Author: Kirs   Replies: 6   Views: 592

Kirs 6 592 19 July 2010 at 9:02am by -Sheena-
Friends trust and mutual respect

Author: suk19   Replies: 6   Views: 543

suk19 6 543 26 June 2010 at 7:48am by shruthiR
dont u trust krish????

2 3 4

Author: kasturika_kashu   Replies: 25   Views: 1267

kasturika_kashu 25 1267 07 April 2010 at 6:18am by shruthiR

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category / Channels
Forums

Check these Celebrity also

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.

Popular Channels :
Star Plus | Zee TV | Sony TV | Colors TV | SAB TV | Life OK

Quick Links :
Top 100 TV Celebrities | Top 100 Bollywood Celebs | About Us | Contact Us | Advertise | Forum Index