Story: Scholastic Affair (Page 7)

It was raining microscopic compounds, if not cats and dogs. As I said, wondrous!

gracefully put her point across to a random homeboy from class using her knife-edged nails. & she refused to inflict any sense of knowingness on herself and regretted being random in the first place.  Beautiful detailing. I love how you are describing their character whilst you develop it too. In the form of Austen yet very much in your style. Bruce Lee said, that To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person. In my opinion that is exemplified in Austen's characterizations.  We cannot see into their hearts, no soliloquy or dear diary moments, as those that clutter modern day pieces, but interactions with others, layered with their opinion of them too, so that in truth we learn more about their hearts.  I learn more about Elizabeth, in her estimation of Darcy, her sister Jane, Wickham and of course the best illumination in the form of Charlotte, a very much underrated characterization.  I digress. Where I intended to travel, was the point that you too, use their opinions of things, and their interactions with people to illuminate the contents of their stomach and inner workings of their hearts.  Skillfully done. 

an imaginary dictionary round the 'F' and 'S' sections  I loved that you chose these letters, those hushed tones, the whispering quality they imply.  Compelling circumstances of closeness, of secret somethings said to somebody. Excellent!

"Yes, tart." Karan made an attempt to imitate, barely considering the shut-up-and-run-for-your-life institution. I loved the movements of Comedy in this line. The threatening outward delivery of tart,  mimicking hers, repeating for full impact as well as the inward teetering upon a failing to fall, or falling fail, which ever came first.  Brilliant.

ONLY bettered by this last moment, He did not answer, though he was heard cussing class ten A collectively for some reason. , Just sublime.

The passages in between were written with charm. The dialogues vying to distract us away from Karan's inner turmoil with their wit and wry, layered in history of supporting cast that is just skillfully written AND YET, it is Karan who has our attention, divided as it is, just like Karan.

Kankshita, an excellent chapter.  A wondrous SS. With wonderful love, Sabah


Edited by a little faith - 03 July 2011 at 1:31pm

edited my spot on pg 5