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Eyes And Vision [Original SS] : Chapter 10 : Pg 53 (Page 53)

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FragranceOfLove

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FragranceOfLove

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Posted: 15 August 2011 at 4:56am | IP Logged
Originally posted by KaSh-Maneet-Fan

Hiii
Awesome update
Loved it
She was wrong
But everything is right in love nd war
Can't wait 4 more
Con soon
Thanks 4 da pm







Thanks :)

I am glad that the part was met with your expectations :)

Yup, people do...after all, they are humans...and humans are bound to make mistakes. Besides, he asked her for her trust...who was she to betray him?

- Mahak

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FragranceOfLove

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Posted: 15 August 2011 at 4:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Favouriteofall

thnx for the double update
Pankhudi was wrong on her part
curious to know Arth's reaction
update the next part soon
nd thnx for the pm Smile







Thanks :)

I am glad that the part was met with your expectations :)

Why are you blaming Pankhudi for everything? What was her fault? He asked for her trust...and who was she to betray him?

- Mahak

FragranceOfLove

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FragranceOfLove

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Posted: 15 August 2011 at 5:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by mjhtnupurmayank

Hey Mahak, Hey Pooja

You know wat.. I forgot dat there are two updates...U did? N wen the 1st 1 ended I was like "How could she end it like this" hhehe...i am not that cruel... n den i read ur lines n went on 2 read d next 1...!!! good for me...or else u wud have killed me..

Okk... I am not shocked...i wanted something different...but i had to compromise.. I had expected this already with the other day's update...i gave more than enugh hints...i love that u were able to guess it... Heart-wrenching story...thank you. but well-written...! aah...thanks a lot...
Ohh she used to call him Arth... yup...she did... Well, does this signify sumthin further?? let us hope, not.

Pooja

P.S 1 - enjoy your shopping.. n den give 2 updates,...!!! *winks* yeah yeah...zaroor zaroor...
P.S. 2- dont get shocked... I already noe the answer so I'm not askin THAT question...!!!! :P ohk...even i was shocked...




Thanks :)

I am glad that the part was met with your expectations :)

I replied to you above itself :)

- Mahak

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FragranceOfLove

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Posted: 15 August 2011 at 5:22am | IP Logged
Originally posted by .SilentPrincess

Wonderful update Mehak...Thanks Laiba :) So finally the past is over.. Yeah, it is. Okay I have to admit the past wasn't so dark as I thought...It initially was, but i changed it for someone. She didn't wanted to read so much misery, so i had to lessen it up. But it was definitely painful. Yeah, it was.

Especially when she said this...

"Galti humari hi thi'humne socha bhi kaise ki koi ladka ek andhi ladki se shaadi kar sakta hai? Humari hi galti thi'joh humne socha ki shayad woh humse sacha pyaar karte hain'aur humne apne baba ki seekh ko bhulakar apna sab kuch unhe de diya."

Heart wrenching... Yeah, the only time she doubts herself...was this time..

Ab ghalti kis ki thi aur kis ki nahin...?? Pankhudi ke nazariye say dekhe toh woh ghalat nahi thi... Kyunke uss ne sacha pyaar kiya tha, aur yeh bhi soch liye ke jis say woh pyaar karti hai woh bhi usse sacha pyaar karta hain...God! you KNOW her...i mean, you really do...sabko batana pada ki she wasn't wrong...and u understood that she wasn't wrong. Really, you know my Pankhudi.

Agar woh sach main usse pyaar karta tha na toh Pankhudi ka andha hone us k liye koi mainey nahin rakhna chahiye. Woh jaisi hai uss say waise he apnata...But that was the whole point, he never loved her. He only lusted her. And that's why he never understood.

Ab iss main Pankhudi ki kya ghalti hai, Pyaar main kya ghalat or kya sahi kuch pata nahi chalta bas behte jaate hain aur jab haqeeqat aaknhon ke samne aathi hain toh buhat dher ho chuki hoti hain... I wouldn't say she was at fault she was rather a victim... I really adore you now. Sahi maayne mein, meri Pankhudi ko abhi tak...sirf tumne samjha hai...Pankhudi wasn't at fault...she was rather a victim of situations :) Meri Pankhudi ko samajhne ke liye shukriya :)

I felt really bad for her...I can understand that. I felt the pain myself. Pehle usse bachaya phir pyaar ka ehsaas dilaya... aur phir uss ke andhe pan ko le kar usse chor diya...I hate such pieces of crap.

She must be really strong...She is. Usne zindagi se haar maanna nahi seekha hai. Sab kuch hone ke baad she's standing...Indeed she is :) A very admireable woman...  :) Oh...i just love her.

I'm very curious about Arth's reaction...Everyone seems to be. I think he will stay with her, he doesn't seem like the one to run away.. God! you are the only one to say this...you are not going to be disappointed. He might be speechless but he will be with her.. :) You would be amazed when he does speak.

Thank you for the double updates... Embarrassed  It was entirely my pleasure :) Do continue soon... :) I am updating it today :)

-Laiba








Thanks :)

I am glad that the part was met with your expectations :)

I replied to you above itself :)

- Mahak

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FragranceOfLove

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FragranceOfLove

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Posted: 15 August 2011 at 5:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by a little faith

Mahak, Sorry for the delay in reading and replying, I truly look forward to updates of this SS. I am really glad to know that Sabah, and it's ok. Even i am late in updating.

Chapter seven


The atmosphere had changed. Exactly, you masterfully show why you can call yourself a writer. You use the first line and i am blushing already. The ambiance before was strange, being that it involved two strangers but in one jhalak you add an eerie quality that just like the temperature of shock takes him from fervid passions to chilling! Skillfully done. Thank you sooo much for the compliment, Sabah.

I loved, JUST LOVED, that little doubt upon her side. Yeah, Thank you. I never knew that my small detailing would be likes by you. That first sign of hesitation, for now she had something to lose, that mark that now they truly were not strangers. Yeah, she now trusts him and he holds an important part in her life. She is afraid to loose him now.

seemingly she had not heard what I had said. Or chose to ignore it. Wonderful detailing. Thank you. Very subtle but nicely added, layering the scene and characterizations and thereby the story as a whole. Wow..you are making my blush again.

humne zindagi se haar nahi maani.  Par phir...woh aaye hamari zindagi mein."  It is this detailing of her narrative that is imbued with sincerity so that these lines never seem overly dramatic but humble and simply stated. :) Beautifully done. Thank you again. You always keep her upon this side of the line where she can stand with dignity and not over the other side where we might be compelled to give her an obliged sort of sympathy. She doesn't wants sympathy. She is strong and i am glad that i succeeded in showing that.  Finely done. Thanks ke alawa, what can i say?

Then again illuminating your brilliance in this art you add another twist, another layer.  Just like life, we cannot foretell, foresee.  We are struggle against this blindness, like she does, frustrated, helpless when due do this weakness we are befallen BUT as you elucidate, we just need to keep faith, remain steadfast and strong for the unforeseeable aspect of life is a gift, like an unopened gift, we don't really know what it will bring but we should not lose our excitement upon the birth of each new day, each new gift no matter how many cut us, hurt us.  In this steadfastness we gain strength, as she did. I entirely agree with whatever you said. Amazingly written. And i loved how you penned it down. Beautifully portrayed. Beautifully done. Thank you.

Here the light of a saviour, and yet the added pain for the viewer, for what became of him in character, to fall from such grace, or is the pain from his loss. Yeah. Then question of what is to become of this new friendship. Iska jawaab hi jald hi milega. Excellent suspense, skillfully done. Thank you sooo much.

Chapter 8.

I really liked the intricacy of the flashback.  I am glad that you did :) The story itself is simple but it is through those nuances of human feeling, emotions that you so very skillfully illuminate what I find myself becoming lost in. Wow. Thanks. You are really flattering me.  Few could write so well about feelings that very few have known and yet you are able to make us understand to some degree that awkward, strange almost surreal moment Describing emotions,  even those which i never felt before, is the only strong point in my writing. Being an emotional person, describing it comes somewhat, naturally, to me. But, thank you for honoring me with so many praises., I tried to smile. Yes, it was indeed wrong.Some might say that it seems ludicrous that a man who would save her chastity would then steal something from it, that a  girl like her would kiss back at such a moment. Yeah, i can agree to that completely. This was what crossed my mind when i wrote it down. However as you paint it, giving that moment depth, we are able to easily understand that hazy strangeness that suffuses such moments, those moments when we are not ourselves, but besides ourselves.  Exactly what i wanted to portray! She was very weak at the moment and wanted some support. She drew that from the kiss, but at soon as her conscious came back, she broke it. That a jolt into reality makes you shudder back into your senses, as though your soul had left your body and had been gazing down as your actions. True. I wonder how you can be so skilfully perfect. Close and yet far removed too.  It is indeed strange and you write it wonderfully well. Thank you. And it is indeed strange how you understand so well.

some stolen moments of life from here and there'few kisses'.few hugs. Beautifully written.  Very much in her style, her adab. Thanks a lot.

Chapter 9

Again I loved how you bring in elements of noble themes that some may scoff at but only because they do not understand.  I understand, and therefore, i bring them up. Here the issue of a person like Pankhudi would give herself up to him.  "Do you trust me?" These days these words feel shallow and not strong enough to pull into into a surrender to a man BUT unlike us, to Pankhudi who truly understood, comprehended the most vast and majestic trait of Trust, she would have given her life let alone her body. WOW! Finally someone, Besides Laiba, understood! He asked for her trust...so who was she to hold herself back? And she did resist! But then, she trusted him with her life...how cud she let him think that she didn't trust him? Thank God that atleast you understood. I wud have failed if u, out of all, hadn't. I am truly glad you illuminated this issue. Even i am glad that i did. We live in times of nonchalance where such words are used like placebos when in fact they are a balm for our wearied souls. What a great use of words.

I can only give you love, not commitment." Then you come full circle for one may question her insightful nature in this respect. Yup. That was the whole purpose. Did she only see what she wanted? She wanted the feeling of being wanted...so she never saw what she was getting herself into.  Was she only grasping a hold of something she truly knew would never happen? yeah, she was. I disagree, for a girl like her who understood the worth of trust, she was conned by not her naivety but his, for in truth both got what they desired from the relationship. U r right. they both got something they both wanted. On her side it was love and trust, and ALWAYS remains so whereas on his side it was deceit and will always remain so. True.  Her trust and love were true and therefore remain as love and trust. Surely. His never amounted to any good and so neither will his heart understand these traits that are the only things worth attaining in this life. So true. But in today's world, people have forgotten this.

The proof of this is that years later she still places a high value on trust, by letting another stranger into her house, into her life. I am amazed at how you connected the dots...and to her personality. She is not the one to punish everyone for the crime of one. She understands that love is worth seeking and so once again opens her heart to the idea of it. Yeah, she does. Her love and trust were true and so when he deceived her, he only deceived himself, and in that way love and trust remained in her heart and did so until this day too. Rightly said. Pata hai kya? Kabhi kabhi mujhe lagta hai ki tum meri Pankhudi ko mujhse zyada ache se jaanti ho. After reading ur review, even i fall in love with my story. I start understanding my own story in a way, i never did before.

Mahak, wonderfully done. Thanks a lot yaar.  I really enjoyed this narrative. I am glad that you do.  With much love, Sabah







Thanks :)

I am glad that the part was met with your expectations :)

I was literally, at loss of words regarding what to say to you. And how to reply to you.

I replied to you above itself :)

- Mahak

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FragranceOfLove

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Posted: 15 August 2011 at 5:51am | IP Logged

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FragranceOfLove

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Posted: 15 August 2011 at 5:53am | IP Logged


I quietly listened to everything she had to say. I couldn't believe how someone can be such a bas***d! She was blind for God sake! How could he do something with someone like her?


She is so innocent…like the dew drops on a rose. She was more fragile than the petals of a rose. Although she is very strong and can handle everything, yet she was lonely. Surely there must be someone made for her.


Someone who would accept her the way she is….someone who would love her unconditionally…someone who would hold her in his arms and love her to eternity.


As soon as I visualized someone holding her in his arms, my blood boiled. The image was revolting. I felt panic…possession…pain. And then I realized something.


I was falling for her, if I hadn't already.


I was lost in my thoughts….trying to figure out how and when this had happened. And then, her voice broke my trance.


"Itna sab kuch sunne ke baad bhi aap yahin hain? Aapko kuch nahi kehna hai?"


She still doubted me? I felt hurt. How could she doubt me after all this? And then, I just realized how much she mattered to me…how much her opinion of me mattered to me.


"Kehna hai na."


She winced. It was as if she was prepared to take the blow yet she was nervous.


"Toh kahiye na. Kya kehna chahte hain aap? And ghabraiye mat…agar aap abhi humein chod kar bhi chale jaayein, toh bhi hum aapko dosh nahi denge. Galti humari hi thi…aur vaise bhi hum aapko sahara dene aaye the…toh hum aap se sahare ki ummeed kabhi bhi nahi karenge."


Was she serious? I braced myself for the impact I was going to make on her. I had to say this out. I couldn't hold it any longer. It was now or never.


"Pankhudi…marry me?"


She looked damn shocked. Her eyes dilated and then she turned to stone. She had shut off all her emotions. I could see that in those eyes. And then she said something which broke my heart.


"Nahi."




To be continued...

Okay, I have been very busy with my life.I am extremely sorry for the delay. I am gonna try and come online everyday from now on. Only two more chapters to go. Also, I am planning on a new SS, which is partly written, but I am never gonna publish it until I finish this one.

I know, wrong point to leave it. But then, we all love cliff hangers, don't we? ;)

And yeah, Sorry for the short part. I am writing my FF 'Arrange Marriage' for Pooja. So, I didn't get time to write more. This was the last thing written on it.

Remain tunes to find out about the next part :) Leave a review to make me publish it fast.

But, don't forget to press the tab here also :)

- Mahak



Edited by ...Mahak... - 15 August 2011 at 6:04am

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ShwePoo

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Posted: 15 August 2011 at 7:01am | IP Logged
I was gonna scold u for such a small update wen I read the line "I am writing my FF 'Arrange Marriage' for Pooja. So, I didn't get time to write more. This was the last thing written on it." N isliye I cooled down somewat..!! Lol... :P

Well, Nice update... Really Short but good...! I'm infact thinking about wats gonna happen further...!

So, Do continue soon...
Wil b waiting...

Pooja


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