Originally posted by: a little faith
Chapter ten.
I quietly listened to
everything she had to say. I couldn't believe how someone can be such a
bas***d! She was blind for God sake! How could he do something with someone
like her? I loved how you illuminate his innocence of the world through her experience. He is innocent. He just had never met someone who could explain that to him. His negative experiences of human emotions seem to pale when compared to hers but more so he feels that she doesn't deserve them, that she has suffered enough. Yeah, and that's why he is pure at heart. It brings out his naivety in regards this world for in truth most who have seem much of it come to know one thing, pain, hurt and suffering is not prejudiced in any way and will affect anyone and everyone. True. Young, old, tall, short, rich wealthy, the blessed the arrogant and yes even those who have suffered much at its hands already. The truth is the manner we deal with these negative emotions is what differentiates us, ranks us in this world NOT those aspects that I listed. Exactly. Amazing words yaar. Really. Amazing.
He found the best person he has ever come across BUT to know that he had to see her through her the trials she had been tested by. Yeah...I love the manner you don't just state things, like he is nice or he was naive and innocent BUT you write narrative, lines wherein we can find their heart's state. It isn't easy and takes much skill and of course talent like yours helps too. ๐ณ Thanks โบ๏ธ I am more than just shy right now. I always thought that I must not state the obvious, but let the readers feel that. And i am sooo happy that i am succeeding in that :)She is so innocent...like the
dew drops on a rose. She was more fragile than the petals of a rose. Although
she is very strong and can handle everything, yet she was lonely. Surely there
must be someone made for her.
Then that affinity, the reason destiny brought him here. Already there is a vast difference between her Arth and the soon to be this Arth of hers. He wishes not just love for her, but commitment, someone who would live out her days with her. Yeah, he thinks that after all this suffering, she simple deserves the best. Beautifully done. Thank you so much Sabah.
Someone who would accept
her the way she is...someone who would love her unconditionally...someone who
would hold her in his arms and love her to eternity.
This was just endearing. Thanks you *shy* The more he falls for her, the more we fall for him. Finely done. I am so glad for that...
As soon as I visualized
someone holding her in his arms, my blood boiled. The image was revolting. I
felt panic...possession...pain. And then I realized something.
๐๐๐Then that twist, just very imaginatively done. I did not see it coming, so it was like a surprise. The good kind. Excellently composed. Ahhh...Thank you. That's where the romantic and possessive streak in him struck a chord. LOL.
I was falling for her, if I
hadn't already.
I was lost in my
thoughts...trying to figure out how and when this had happened. And then, her voice
broke my trance.
To quote Darcy, "i was in the middle before I knew I had begun." To quote myself, "the seed was planted long before he knew, and grew, and grew and grew! Eee... I just LOVE Darcy. And your lines are also so beautiful. Infact, sometimes your lines make me think deeply...and affect me in a deeper way.
"Itna sab kuch sunne ke baad bhi aap yahin hain? Aapko kuch nahi
kehna hai?"
She still doubted me? I
felt hurt. How could she doubt me after all this? And then, I just realized how
much she mattered to me...how much her opinion of me mattered to me.
Brick by brick a house becomes a home, just like word by word a heart is pulled into another's soul, just like moment by moment we begin to feel less alone. Again, amazingly summed up.
I loved your composition, the manner you slowly unfold a tale so that nothing seems rushed or preposterous but natural like the fall of summer rain, unexpected but not unwanted nor unusual either. Just finely done. Wow. Inne ache words for me? Thank you, my lady. *takes a bow*
"Kehna hai na."
She winced. It was as if
she was prepared to take the blow yet she was nervous.
Even though it must have pinched him, there was happiness in there somewhere too, she cared for his reaction. Nicely done. Yeah, she does care for him.
"Toh kahiye na. Kya kehna chahte hain aap? And ghabraiye mat...agar
aap abhi humein chod kar bhi chale jaayein, toh bhi hum aapko dosh nahi denge.
Galti humari hi thi..aur vaise bhi hum aapko sahara dene aaye the...toh hum aap se
sahare ki ummeed kabhi bhi nahi karenge."
Was she serious? I think we, both him and us knew her well enough to know that she was serious and not so too. ;) Umeed toh hai lekin khwaish jaise, as caging as a breeze could ever be. She laid out her soul wherein we would find her desires, her wishes, but she never begs him, never asks him but leaves open her heart just like that door to her house, so that if he wishes he can make her his home. You have beautifully compared her feelings to that of her present state. I mean how could you connect the door to that of her feelings? I thought no one would even think about it. But then, you have always proved me wrong when compared to writing. You make me wonder if really i wrote all that stuff. Thanks a ton for being a friend and a reader too.
I braced
myself for the impact I was going to make on her. I had to say this out. I
couldn't hold it any longer. It was now or never.
"Pankhudi...marry me?"
She looked damn shocked.
Her eyes dilated and then she turned to stone. She had shut off all her
emotions. I could see that in those eyes. And then she said something which
broke my heart.
"Nahi." OK, so that was unexpected. ๐ I guess. However I always trust writers, especially one as gifted as yourself and so insightful too. I am so honoured *shy* This is your piece and so far you have never disappointed, I know that there is something more you wish to say, and that you will tell it well. Yeah, this proposal would make everyone see that Pankhudi is a human after all. She isn't that strong as we all think her to be. She too is broken. Looking forward to it. Me too :) With much love, Sabah
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