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Husband's affair drives wife to suicide (Page 2)

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bhavika0611

Goldie

bhavika0611

Joined: 22 August 2006

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Posted: 16 June 2011 at 3:43am | IP Logged
well, i don't have words to say, after reading, it 's been like echoing every emotion, How can a well educated boy can do this, if he was in love with some one else , why did he got married to this girl. Does any one one put gun on his head.

No doubt, it's a clear cut case of dowry, the boy accepted to marry her as his parent forced him and he agreed to it. and when his parent wouldn't satisfy with what they got, they started accusing poor girl, and that boy also changed his tune. I'm being judgemental here but i see no other reason for a boy to get married to this girl, when he was in love with other girl.

The boy and his parent should be severly punished. I do not see any revenge in it.Their behavior has made one innocent girl commit suicide, and it is offenceble crime in india.

It's always good to be practical, but this type of topic needs little sensitivity, i guess


Edited by -Fragrance-- - 16 June 2011 at 3:43am

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Rapier

IF-Rockerz

Rapier

Joined: 09 October 2010

Posts: 5060

Posted: 16 June 2011 at 10:15pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by blue-ice

Originally posted by Rapier

i agree with simi! dump his ass and sue him and his family for cheating her! he couldn't tell her that he doesn't love her and only loves his girlfriend before marriage? he knew full well that he was cheating her and he purposely made her life miserable! jerk!

U know in some states of America...u can actually sue the GF/BF of ur cheating spouse under a law called 'Alienation of Affection'...although it is rare but people have won huge amounts of money...

But why sue his family...don't we actually punish the criminal in a democracy and not his whole family??


sue his family because the family knew about this affair and had persuaded the dude to marry some other girl according to their wishes, and because, according to the girl's diary, they wanted a cook or whatever. that's why! i still say sue the crap outta them.

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return_to_hades

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 16 June 2011 at 10:35pm | IP Logged
I agree with Rapier, if the parents know that their son/daughter is in love with someone else but still force a marriage then they should also be held liable. It is illegal to force marriage, but many parents get try to force their kids through emotional blackmail. We need some legal precedents to prevent parents from doing so.

But yes there are really no grounds for dowry death, and that law should not be abused. There are plenty of other grounds for suing and charging for wrongful death though. Adultery, not revealing affair and essentially the guys entire family defrauding the girl into marriage, emotional duress.

Its really pathetic that she chose suicide. Its about time women were stronger and stood up for themselves. There are many better ways to handle such things.

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Rapier

IF-Rockerz

Rapier

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Posts: 5060

Posted: 16 June 2011 at 11:20pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

I agree with Rapier, if the parents know that their son/daughter is in love with someone else but still force a marriage then they should also be held liable. It is illegal to force marriage, but many parents get try to force their kids through emotional blackmail. We need some legal precedents to prevent parents from doing so.

But yes there are really no grounds for dowry death, and that law should not be abused. There are plenty of other grounds for suing and charging for wrongful death though. Adultery, not revealing affair and essentially the guys entire family defrauding the girl into marriage, emotional duress.

Its really pathetic that she chose suicide. Its about time women were stronger and stood up for themselves. There are many better ways to handle such things.



precisely! after reading the article, it seemed as if she blamed herself for the whole thing. even her mother-in-law blamed her for not making the marriage work! no one blames the real culprit, the guy! it's just messed up!

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blue-ice

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blue-ice

Joined: 04 March 2009

Posts: 25798

Posted: 17 June 2011 at 12:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Rapier

Originally posted by blue-ice

Originally posted by Rapier

i agree with simi! dump his ass and sue him and his family for cheating her! he couldn't tell her that he doesn't love her and only loves his girlfriend before marriage? he knew full well that he was cheating her and he purposely made her life miserable! jerk!

U know in some states of America...u can actually sue the GF/BF of ur cheating spouse under a law called 'Alienation of Affection'...although it is rare but people have won huge amounts of money...

But why sue his family...don't we actually punish the criminal in a democracy and not his whole family??


sue his family because the family knew about this affair and had persuaded the dude to marry some other girl according to their wishes, and because, according to the girl's diary, they wanted a cook or whatever. that's why! i still say sue the crap outta them.


Are u guys kidding me?...how old is this boy...16 or 26...the parents were morally wrong if they pressured him but they have ABSOLUTELY no liability for the acts of an adult child...the boy is an adult and he is supposed to know what is right from wrong...unless it can be proved somehow that the girl committed suicide because of them directly the parents cannot be sued...and this is why the dowry act is in play here, because that is the only way to get hold of the parents...
As much as I hate the boy for doing what he did...I am disgusted at the blatant abuse of the dowry law which is supposed to be used for the real victims ...

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MagixX

IF-Rockerz

MagixX

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Posts: 6322

Posted: 17 June 2011 at 10:38am | IP Logged
Extra-marital affairs are illegal, and the boy should be punished. As such, there is nothing mentioned about the boy's parents threatening the girl for dowry, or making her life hell because her Father could not provide enough dowry, so saying that dowry is the reason for her death is lame. She killed herself because her so-called husband loved someone else, and she couldn't get him to love her (?)!

And also, sorry for being judgmental about a dead person, but what was this girl exactly!? She sounds like that typical saas-bahu soap heroine who keeps blaming herself for every wrong that has happened, and doesn't even have the courage to stand up for herself, and just walk out of the marriage! She shouldn't have to bear her husband's nakhraas. Wish she had set a deadline to their marriage instead. Agreed she didn't get a job she tried for, but is it the end? There could have been so many other opportunities! And all the while she kept claiming nobody was thinking about her, but well, what were her parents doing when she mentioned that they were sad?! Now she has made all of them even more sad..

And I agree, her parents are abusing this dowry law..it's not right. But the boy deserves to be punished on other moral grounds, and so do his parents. What a terrible world! :( Poor girl, I feel sad for her, but she could have handled this in a better way. May God bless her soul...

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return_to_hades

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return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006

Posts: 19997

Posted: 17 June 2011 at 10:45am | IP Logged

Parents often coerce their children to marry using various blackmail methods. Which kid would have the strength to make their own choices if doing so meant parents being melodramatic and blaming it on the kids. Our sub-continental society is structured in such a way that parents often have a lot of emotional/social command over their kids. Parents continue to use this to force marriages, and every now and then it leads to unfortunate circumstances with people stuck in horrifying marriages. We need to put some legal recourses in place to send the message that such practices will have harsh consequences. Only then can long term change come through.

 

Yes, adults are capable of making their own decisions. They can say no or complain to authorities. That is why even if an adult is coerced into a crime they face charges for accessory, and the sentencing is circumstantial. Even if an adult does not explicitly participate, they are often held liable for failing to report and prevent a crime. In this case the son could have refused to marry or sought assistance to avoid duress. The least he could have done is inform the girl and her family that he is in love with someone else or had a friend do it. No one is denying that he should be held liable as well.

 

Whose idea was it to get their son married, despite him being not interested?

The parents, they are the mastermind.

 

Who arranged the marriage with the girl's parents?

The parents, they planned everything.

 

Who hid the from the girl's family that their son is in a relationship with another woman?

The parents, they withheld important information?

 

Who was emotionally coerced into a marriage?

The son, he will be liable as an accomplice.

 

Who did not inform authorities of a forced marriage right way?

The son, he will be is liable for preventing a crime from taking place.

 

Who did not inform the girl and her family of his relationship?

The son, in fact technically marriage means each spouse is expected to disclose any previous history and withholding of past relationships can be considered as breach of trust and grounds for divorce or annulment depending on situation and jurisdiction.

 

So both the son and his parents ought to be criminally liable.

 

However, I think that it is a lame abuse of dowry laws in this case. The dowry laws are in place for women who actually face substantial abuse over dowry demands. This is clearly not the case here. While the girl was victimized and emotionally hurt, she was never substantially abused for dowry and the girl's parents are abusing a law.

 

Personally, I think even though dowry laws are in good intent and for good measure they have hit a point where they are failing and being abused by the wrong people instead of helping real dowry victims. I think existing laws need to be scrapped and replaced with a comprehensive and gender neutral domestic abuse and domestic violence laws. These laws should range from protecting spouses and families in case of forced marriage to actual physical abuse, as well as statutes for intentionally filing false charges. Anyone can be victims as families sometimes try to trap NRI or foreign educated spouses for their kids, or try and find ways to rip off well to do families and both genders and both sides need fair legal protection.

 

Finally, I have to reiterate a failed marriage or cheating spouse is not the end of the world. Especially if you did everything right on your part there is nothing to be ashamed or battered over. You have legal options to get your life together, and if you are educated with family support there is no excuse to give up with a wimpy suicide. Yes, it hurts when you love someone and they cheat on you but I hope that every woman who cries and wails over cheating spouses and contemplates suicide pauses for a moment to think of women across the world who actually survive and fight through things like getting beaten and/or raped by their own husbands on a regular basis often times they fight and survive without anyone there for them. The least any woman can do out of respect for women across the world is at least survive if incapable of standing up and fighting.

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souro

Moderator

souro

Joined: 27 January 2007

Posts: 13718

Posted: 17 June 2011 at 10:58am | IP Logged
Tragic yes but too melodramatic. Stand up, walk out.

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