Parents often coerce their children to marry using various
blackmail methods. Which kid would have the strength to make their own choices
– if doing so meant parents being melodramatic and blaming it on the kids. Our
sub-continental society is structured in such a way that parents often have a
lot of emotional/social command over their kids. Parents continue to use this
to force marriages, and every now and then it leads to unfortunate
circumstances with people stuck in horrifying marriages. We need to put some
legal recourses in place to send the message that such practices will have
harsh consequences. Only then can long term change come through.
Yes, adults are capable of making their own decisions. They
can say no or complain to authorities. That is why even if an adult is coerced
into a crime they face charges for accessory, and the sentencing is
circumstantial. Even if an adult does not explicitly participate, they are
often held liable for failing to report and prevent a crime. In this case the
son could have refused to marry or sought assistance to avoid duress. The least
he could have done is inform the girl and her family that he is in love with
someone else or had a friend do it. No one is denying that he should be held
liable as well.
Whose idea was it to get their son married, despite him
being not interested?
The parents, they are the mastermind.
Who arranged the marriage with the girl's parents?
The parents, they planned everything.
Who hid the from the girl's family that their son is in a
relationship with another woman?
The parents, they withheld important information?
Who was emotionally coerced into a marriage?
The son, he will be liable as an accomplice.
Who did not inform authorities of a forced marriage right
way?
The son, he will be is liable for preventing a crime from
taking place.
Who did not inform the girl and her family of his
relationship?
The son, in fact technically marriage means each spouse is
expected to disclose any previous history and withholding of past relationships
can be considered as breach of trust and grounds for divorce or annulment depending
on situation and jurisdiction.
So both the son and his parents ought to be criminally
liable.
However, I think that it is a lame abuse of dowry laws in
this case. The dowry laws are in place for women who actually face substantial
abuse over dowry demands. This is clearly not the case here. While the girl was
victimized and emotionally hurt, she was never substantially abused for dowry
and the girl's parents are abusing a law.
Personally, I think even though dowry laws are in good
intent and for good measure – they have hit a point where they are failing and
being abused by the wrong people instead of helping real dowry victims. I think
existing laws need to be scrapped and replaced with a comprehensive and gender
neutral domestic abuse and domestic violence laws. These laws should range from
protecting spouses and families in case of forced marriage to actual physical
abuse, as well as statutes for intentionally filing false charges. Anyone can
be victims as families sometimes try to trap NRI or foreign educated spouses
for their kids, or try and find ways to rip off well to do families – and both
genders and both sides need fair legal protection.
Finally, I have to reiterate a failed marriage or cheating
spouse is not the end of the world. Especially if you did everything right on
your part – there is nothing to be ashamed or battered over. You have legal
options to get your life together, and if you are educated with family support
there is no excuse to give up with a wimpy suicide. Yes, it hurts when you love
someone and they cheat on you – but I hope that every woman who cries and wails
over cheating spouses and contemplates suicide pauses for a moment to think of
women across the world who actually survive and fight through things like
getting beaten and/or raped by their own husbands on a regular basis – often times
they fight and survive without anyone there for them. The least any woman can
do out of respect for women across the world is at least survive if incapable
of standing up and fighting.
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