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cant a person get frustated ? (Page 2)

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deep153134

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deep153134

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Posted: 14 June 2011 at 6:42pm | IP Logged
She is not called a vamp! She is called stupid. A person who does series of stupid mistakes and a person who tells series of lies for 5 years are not normal !!!!!!!
Gosh!!!! We need to change definitions of normal people !!!

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intruderfast

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Posted: 14 June 2011 at 7:46pm | IP Logged

does everyone want  her to understand a's pain in one go, pehle woh khud ki problems, khud ki sufferings ke baare mein soche handle kare yaa a ke saath sympathise karien

sab a ki tarah nahin hote pehle doosron kaa dard samajhte samajhte apni life ki band baaja baraat nikalengeLOLi am glad she is good but still not a clown of anandi
reg rona dhona infront of ds , i believe ds is far better nowLOLab toh a ko bhi permissin hain

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divmath

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Posted: 14 June 2011 at 8:32pm | IP Logged
They are a lot of Gauri lovers here and a lot of Anandi lovers which here would leave to differ opinions.But,Gauri is wrong too,she married Jagya even knowing he was married!Is this t\right,has she ever tried to put herself in Anandi's feet for once,IN the he epi she felt shameless when Anandi came and served food to both of them.What does she expect?,She has taken someone elses' rights from a woman.Okay it is  accepted she went through a lot as a child BUT now cant she not see Anandi's pain?
She was crying and how the family is acting today is somewhat partially her fault,but obviously less than Jagya.He went Mumbai to study and returns with an unusual behaviour.What will the parents think after he tells them he loves someone else,even though she didnt do anything as she was unaware.But when she was she cried for a while and came back to his lies.Isn't she intelligent?Isn't she not educated?,the word trust is what she is looking for!!How can she trust someone like her.Now soon Anandi will tell he family to accept her as thier ''bahu'' and the family will.
I'm not saying Gauri is fully responsible but all we know that Jagya is fully responsible here for sure.Guari will have a hard time in that family and in being accepted.And you never know,tomorrow Jagya will use her untill he wants when he is satisfied throw her away and says he wants someone that wears mini skirts
as the ladder:
Gaghra choli?sari
          to 
Anarkali/salwars
          to 
Mini skirts and the liss oes on
This Jagya character is just too much!!!Too complicated!He is very Selfish!!

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woman11

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woman11

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Posted: 14 June 2011 at 9:11pm | IP Logged
Tanvismile: I really appreciate you for putting forward an alternative point of view when the general trend in the forum now is more anti-Gauri/Jagat and pro-Anandi. I myself tend to be on Anandi's side most of the times, but that doesn't mean I do not respect a balanced opposite point of view. Having said that let me respond to some of the points you have raised and am trying to see things without bias.

1) You justify that Gauri is perfectly human in feeling hurt. Agreed she is. Anyone would be crushed if put in her situation. But the point here is that she did have a choice in not going through this torture. She should have sensed the hostility of the family right from the beginning and should have left with dignity. It's unwise to argue and provoke the people who are already so angry and hurt. And hence her plight. I don't think the Singh family would have gone after her if she had not provoked them. Why invite the ire of the people when you know they hate you? Why don't you just leave them alone? Wouldn't have it been much more better if Gauri had allowed them time to accept the truth instead of wanting to see radical changes overnight? Time heals all, and Gauri should have acted more wisely. The trouble she is facing is her own choice, and hence the complaint against Gauri.

2) I agree with your point that the family should understand that Jagya loves Gauri and his happiness lies with her. True. But we are talking about real human beings here who need a little more time to ponder over things and rationalize the situation. Jagya and Gauri should give them that time. The family is going through a series of emotions now---shock, disbelief, anger, guilt for child marriage (esp Bhairov and DS)  and immense sympathy for Anandi. It's not easy to rationalize things especially when they think it comes at the cost of their favorite person Anandi. And here is where Anandi's role becomes important. The more she accepts the reality with normalcy, the more she convinces the family that her happiness does not depend on Jagya anymore, the easier it will be for the family to come back to normalcy, and eventually accept Jagya and Gauri. And I guess Anandi is doing precisely that.

3) I don't agree with your point that the family is keeping Anandi only for household works. They share a much much deeper bond with her than see her as a chore performer.

4) I think a lot of Anandi supporters have critiqued Anandi for her flaws too. Nobody is perfect, neither is Anandi. She has been evenly criticized for her naivety/dumbness, her lack of resolute to get back at Jagya, her 'weakness' to try to save the marriage when she clearly saw it falling apart, and at times, just being submissive and not taking a stronger stand. If we agree these are are characteristic flaws we also need to look at why she is the way she is. The fact is a lot, lot many women---who haven't had a chance to be exposed to the world, who come from rural backgrounds and especially intensely dominating patriarchal families--are like her. In such situations the women are socially conditioned to be submissive, to be blindly obedient of the elders, to consider their husbands as superior and to believe in the infallibility of marriage. I believe all of us who are 'enlightened' and claim more confidence about our rights have to credit our own upbringings and social conditioning. Hence people blame it on her background. This is a fact. Do we like it? No. We would love to see things change and see more emancipated women. The point is Anandi's flaws point directly to the larger problems of social and gender conditioning while Gauri's flaws are mostly individual or personal.

5) You mention Anandi is immensely lucky. Absolutely true. It's rare to find such supportive in-laws who would go to the extent of disowning their own son for the sake of their daughter in law. But that's all Anandi has got. She doesn't have economic independence, a competitive education, or most importantly a supportive life partner. No matter how loved she is in the haveli the truth remains that she is still dependent on the family for sustenance and cannot claim economic independence without their support. For Anandi, the support of the Singh family is absolutely necessary while for Gauri it's more a matter of prestige. It is Anandi who should feel more insecure since if she is ever thrown out of the haveli she will not be able to survive on her own.

6) Finally I agree with you that whatever has happened has helped Anandi. Agree absolutely. Anandi needed the wake up call and things have been blessing in disguise. Hope she moves on from here and builds a better life for herself.

We will keep supporting our respective favorites, but as long as we are ready to ponder over the other point of view and rationally analyze it, I guess we can avoid a lot of fights. I appreciate those well balanced good arguments that make this forum so interesting.




Edited by woman11 - 14 June 2011 at 9:25pm

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Sunna_Deewani

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Posted: 14 June 2011 at 9:51pm | IP Logged
She can get frustrated, like anyone else. But her expectation of getting instant recongnition from the family is very unrealistic.
 
They(J & G) just walked-in as married couple, without bothering to even inform them and discuss their decision. Now she should not surprised / shocked at the family's reaction. It is very normal that they will try to ignore or hate her. In real life situations the family may even hurl abuses at her, not knowing actually anything about her.
 
The family is in state of shock . disappointment and also guilt. So gauri needs understand that it will take time for the family to accept her. They will definitely accept her later, afterall jagya is their own. But instead of crying and complaining that noone is accepting me, which was expected & jagya also warned her of this, gauri should be patient and give them some time to come out of their shock and guilt.
 
 

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vivacious_priya

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Posted: 14 June 2011 at 9:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by intruderfast

does everyone want  her to understand a's pain in one go, pehle woh khud ki problems, khud ki sufferings ke baare mein soche handle kare yaa a ke saath sympathise karien

sab a ki tarah nahin hote pehle doosron kaa dard samajhte samajhte apni life ki band baaja baraat nikalengeLOLi am glad she is good but still not a clown of anandi
reg rona dhona infront of ds , i believe ds is far better nowLOLab toh a ko bhi permissin hain

REALLY?? just next day D is so fine dat any one could scream n cry in front of herWink
I think G is dactarain sahiba she has permission whether she wants to cry/romance/ dance in front of DWinkLOLLOL
our poor anandi is anpadh gawar (acc to jagat) her crying style is also like very gawar!!LOL
gauri has different modern techniques of cryingWinkLOLLOL
n may be she cried deir knowingly so dat D can hear her rona dhona n accept her which z gonna happen soonWink
Mano ya no Mano
she got jagya's love but stil G is just jealous of A
coz uska dil mange more!!LOLLOL


Edited by vivacious_priya - 14 June 2011 at 10:00pm

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vasuja

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Posted: 14 June 2011 at 10:35pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by woman11

Tanvismile: I really appreciate you for putting forward an alternative point of view when the general trend in the forum now is more anti-Gauri/Jagat and pro-Anandi. I myself tend to be on Anandi's side most of the times, but that doesn't mean I do not respect a balanced opposite point of view. Having said that let me respond to some of the points you have raised and am trying to see things without bias.

1) You justify that Gauri is perfectly human in feeling hurt. Agreed she is. Anyone would be crushed if put in her situation. But the point here is that she did have a choice in not going through this torture. She should have sensed the hostility of the family right from the beginning and should have left with dignity. It's unwise to argue and provoke the people who are already so angry and hurt. And hence her plight. I don't think the Singh family would have gone after her if she had not provoked them. Why invite the ire of the people when you know they hate you? Why don't you just leave them alone? Wouldn't have it been much more better if Gauri had allowed them time to accept the truth instead of wanting to see radical changes overnight? Time heals all, and Gauri should have acted more wisely. The trouble she is facing is her own choice, and hence the complaint against Gauri.

2) I agree with your point that the family should understand that Jagya loves Gauri and his happiness lies with her. True. But we are talking about real human beings here who need a little more time to ponder over things and rationalize the situation. Jagya and Gauri should give them that time. The family is going through a series of emotions now---shock, disbelief, anger, guilt for child marriage (esp Bhairov and DS)  and immense sympathy for Anandi. It's not easy to rationalize things especially when they think it comes at the cost of their favorite person Anandi. And here is where Anandi's role becomes important. The more she accepts the reality with normalcy, the more she convinces the family that her happiness does not depend on Jagya anymore, the easier it will be for the family to come back to normalcy, and eventually accept Jagya and Gauri. And I guess Anandi is doing precisely that.

3) I don't agree with your point that the family is keeping Anandi only for household works. They share a much much deeper bond with her than see her as a chore performer.

4) I think a lot of Anandi supporters have critiqued Anandi for her flaws too. Nobody is perfect, neither is Anandi. She has been evenly criticized for her naivety/dumbness, her lack of resolute to get back at Jagya, her 'weakness' to try to save the marriage when she clearly saw it falling apart, and at times, just being submissive and not taking a stronger stand. If we agree these are are characteristic flaws we also need to look at why she is the way she is. The fact is a lot, lot many women---who haven't had a chance to be exposed to the world, who come from rural backgrounds and especially intensely dominating patriarchal families--are like her. In such situations the women are socially conditioned to be submissive, to be blindly obedient of the elders, to consider their husbands as superior and to believe in the infallibility of marriage. I believe all of us who are 'enlightened' and claim more confidence about our rights have to credit our own upbringings and social conditioning. Hence people blame it on her background. This is a fact. Do we like it? No. We would love to see things change and see more emancipated women. The point is Anandi's flaws point directly to the larger problems of social and gender conditioning while Gauri's flaws are mostly individual or personal.

5) You mention Anandi is immensely lucky. Absolutely true. It's rare to find such supportive in-laws who would go to the extent of disowning their own son for the sake of their daughter in law. But that's all Anandi has got. She doesn't have economic independence, a competitive education, or most importantly a supportive life partner. No matter how loved she is in the haveli the truth remains that she is still dependent on the family for sustenance and cannot claim economic independence without their support. For Anandi, the support of the Singh family is absolutely necessary while for Gauri it's more a matter of prestige. It is Anandi who should feel more insecure since if she is ever thrown out of the haveli she will not be able to survive on her own.

6) Finally I agree with you that whatever has happened has helped Anandi. Agree absolutely. Anandi needed the wake up call and things have been blessing in disguise. Hope she moves on from here and builds a better life for herself.

We will keep supporting our respective favorites, but as long as we are ready to ponder over the other point of view and rationally analyze it, I guess we can avoid a lot of fights. I appreciate those well balanced good arguments that make this forum so interesting.




wonderful postClapClapClap...if you try to go in detail and write a very logical post in the forum then everyone will say that you are serious and say that they cannot take negativity...I got that  a lot for writing reality, trps etc...So let everyone support their favourites with their nails and teeth...

I have been with villagers myself and I have seen people like anandi, and similar situations. Most of us in forum are educated and are blessed enough to discuss, argue, bash, support characters like anandi, but their are woman like anandi in our villages tortured every minute in the name of our sanskaar...men like jagdish who ditch them and girls like gauri who become the other women without realising what happens to the first wife...I have met women with children abandoned by men for other woman in the name of love. Such real anandis don't got to court, dont go to police but silently suffer not because they are mahaan, but its because there are suppressed from their childhood.

when people used to bash A and call her unreal it used to get on my nerves because I have met real people like her, seen their tears...But I don't take these things to my heart now.  all of us will write our support and go on with our lives and nothing will happen to our rural women who does not even know about computer...But I am sure every person in this forum A supporters and non suppoters will do justice when they meet a real anandi and not tell her that you were dumb and allowed this to happen...I go on with this belief...sorry I got too senti

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Posted: 14 June 2011 at 11:59pm | IP Logged
Wonderful post woman11 

and good points Vasu. 

yes I have personally seen in my family (extended) and otherwise , women from Village who are exactly like Anandi. And this is precisely why I have always said, the reason why Anandi is the way she is (or was) is due to the background where she comes from. 

we cannot blame her naivety , lack of understanding of relationships (jagya and his betrayal) and her overly submissive nature , just on her. No. Its very much to do with what they are taught and raised with.


And this is why I love Anandi a lot because she is rising , rising from the ashes like Phoenix and she is ready to launch on her own. 
Her good quality , when properly nurtured with education and right guidance , can, will do wonders.

Some of it has already been proven with her positive steps towards the betterment of Village.

...

gauri , was a girl who we had a lot of expectations from. I specially had huge amount of expectations. Specially after her conversation with Jagya about hisimaginary friend in the care. 

And her stand for 'Nandini' in college.

but now that she is going against her own principles, I am disappointed majorly in her. 

May be future has something good ! lets see

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