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Dowry/Dahhej- a punishment for a girl

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Posted: 07 June 2011 at 4:55am | IP Logged
hey every1!! im Yuvika...
after watching yesterdays episode, a thought regarding dahej/dowry popped up in my mind... we see it happening all the time or hear stories about how girls are tortured in their in laws because their parents didnt give enough dahej or maybe are left unmarried on their marriage day because their family failed to provide the dowry their to be in laws asked for.
 
its a similar situation 2 what may happen 2 payal in this shw considering from yesterday's precap her marriage proposal breaks possibly becos they fail to give the dowry abhishek's family have demanded. so my question to you all is do u think its right to ask for dowry? if so why, if nt why nt? and do u think its right to break off a marriage because the girl's side failed to provide the dowry demanded by the boys side? and pls share any dowry related real life incidents you have heared...
 
i hpe u all take part in this discussion...
 
YuvikaTongue

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Posted: 07 June 2011 at 5:02am | IP Logged
Dowry wasn't a bad concept to begin with. I remember my father telling me a few years back when I asked him why dowry needs to be given and he told me that dowry was suppose to actually be the daughter's share in the father's property which was given to her at the time of her marriage. It actually came into existence to establish equality between the sons and the daughters. The reason it became evil is when people started demanding it. 
A wedding based on the amount of dowry given doesn't even deserve to be called marriage in my eyes because it's based on materialism and greediness, something which can never make a marriage work.

Nice topic. A pressing social issue (:

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Posted: 07 June 2011 at 5:05am | IP Logged
Very good topic.
 
I hate this system of dowry.Marrying a person just for his/her money is disgusting.It is like comparing a person's life to some money.The one who takes dowry is an evil.He has no self-respect and no confidence on himself.he depends on his wife's property.And I also no girl should agree to give dowry.Taking or Giving Dowry both are wrong.A girl is tortured in her sasural for a lifetime for dowry.
I know a women who failed to bear the orture of her husband and suicide.It is so painful.

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Yuvika_15

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Posted: 07 June 2011 at 5:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Chill_Out

Dowry wasn't a bad concept to begin with. I remember my father telling me a few years back when I asked him why dowry needs to be given and he told me that dowry was suppose to actually be the daughter's share in the father's property which was given to her at the time of her marriage. It actually came into existence to establish equality between the sons and the daughters. The reason it became evil is when people started demanding it. 
A wedding based on the amount of dowry given doesn't even deserve to be called marriage in my eyes because it's based on materialism and greediness, something which can never make a marriage work.

Nice topic. A pressing social issue (:
@red... i agree and i find it so shocking when you hear about how girls are tortured because of dowry to such an extent wer the girl is physically harmed and beaten up...or evn attempting to burn her alive... there are the extreme cases in india and other asian countries where dowry is important in marriages...
 
@green...to begin with dowry originally included necessity things reali...bt nowadays evry household has the main necessities and dowry no longer can b defined as wt it used 2 b...nw it includes large amounts of money and other stuff like TVs and god knws wt else...i personally arent in the favour of it anymore because its clearly no longer abt giving the girl her right its mre of satisfying the boys side so they keep the girl happy bt i dnt think ne girl cn stay happy if the marriage was accepted onli becos lots of dowry was given becos thn the in laws may becum mre greedy n ask for mre so it ends up becumin a continuous cycleThumbs Down

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Posted: 07 June 2011 at 5:15am | IP Logged
Originally posted by JONAKIHATESYOU

Very good topic.
I hate this system of dowry.Marrying a person just for his/her money is disgusting.It is like comparing a person's life to some money.The one who takes dowry is an evil.He has no self-respect and no confidence on himself.he depends on his wife's property.And I also no girl should agree to give dowry.Taking or Giving Dowry both are wrong.A girl is tortured in her sasural for a lifetime for dowry.
I know a women who failed to bear the orture of her husband and suicide.It is so painful.
@red... exactly my point in many cases the dowry doesnt simply stop at fulfiling the amount demanded before the marriage..in fact thts the beginning of mre demands on their way..wich is sad reali...
 
@purpose... Shockedreali? poor woman...she mus hav gne thru hell 2 cum up with tht step...altho i am totally against the concept of committing suicide bt in many cases for sum women they think its the onli way out... tht jus shws hw there r stil ppl out der tht giv mre value 2 money thn 2 a person's life...pretty sad u knw..i feel bad for the women out there tht suffer becos of this dowry issueThumbs Down i feel it shud b totally banned
 
taani_20 Senior Member
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Posted: 07 June 2011 at 6:17am | IP Logged
Hi Yukiva. I'm Tamanna. Great topic! 

I am completely against dowry. A marriage based on dowry seems more like a business deal than a marriage. Asking for dowry and giving dowry are both wrong. So I'm glad that Payal and Khushi were taking a stand against giving dowry.

@ Chill_Out (sorry I don't know your name): Wow I never knew why dowry was started in the first place! Thanks for sharing, I learned something new today! It's sad that a custom that was started to give daughters equal rights to sons has turned into such a bad thing.

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Posted: 07 June 2011 at 6:32am | IP Logged
Originally posted by tamanna_20

@ Chill_Out (sorry I don't know your name): Wow I never knew why dowry was started in the first place! Thanks for sharing, I learned something new today! It's sad that a custom that was started to give daughters equal rights to sons has turned into such a bad thing.

Heyy. My name is Neethi (:
Yes, dowry started off as such a positive custom. Too bad it was made this way Unhappy
You know, sometimes, I actually wonder, is money actually more precious than someone's life? It sickens me! Ouch

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Posted: 07 June 2011 at 6:51am | IP Logged
Love your Post , hittin' to the sOciety issues .. but somehow i'd love to take part in it . Well Dowry has been made a significant matter fo' all parents and i've seen usually Girls 're even much Concerned about this . Its not a specific deal which parents have to accomplish if someone isn't capable to do so then what would happen ? the girl just state her subsistence bein' unmarried till the death ? Its absolutely not like that . Even the In laws Ought to comprehend Othervise they just don't accept the proposal . Endurin' taunts is the most Crucial state fo' a girl to do !

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