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Child Marriage Laws: The Flip Side

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woman11

Goldie

woman11

Joined: 10 May 2011

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Posted: 02 June 2011 at 7:04pm | IP Logged
We all agree that child marriages are ethically wrong and should not be supported by law at any cost. However, there are plenty of cases where this very law that condemns child marriage actually becomes a curse for the women married off at an early age. In many cases the child brides are often abandoned by their husbands and left as juvenile divorcees with nowhere to go. I cite 3 different real life cases from the data collected by NGOs that my colleague gathered during the course of her research on women's health and child marriages:

Case Study 1: Nimmo, a girl of 7, was married off to an older man in a remote village in Rajasthan. Moved  to her in-law's house, Nimmo was forced into sexual relationship immediately after marriage and was almost repeatedly beaten up by her husband for not being able to 'satisfy' him. When she turned 11, her husband finally left her for another woman (who was more satisfying), leaving her with no means of subsistence. Nimmo's own family refused to take her back and she was left in a destitute condition till an NGO found her and arranged for her survival. Nimmo cannot claim alimony from her husband since the Indian laws don't recognize child marriage as legal.

Case Study 2:  Also reported in this link:
http://www.global-sisterhood-network.org/content/view/311/76/

I am quoting from the report---
More than 150 young women in Gudigandla village of Mahbubnagar district, who were forced into marriages when they were kids, now find themselves abandoned by their husbands. At an age when they should be beginning to think about marriages, they are living as divorcees who have little hope for the future. The village situated in Maktal mandal is paying for stubbornly sticking to the practice of child marriage despite many campaigns and legislations.

The women, aged bet-ween18 and 35, now stay in their parents' houses and make a meagre living as farm labourers. In all, there are 600 women in the village and almost every other house has a young divorcee. "I don't even want to mention the name of the man I was married to," said Ms S. Beeramma, 18. "After two years of living together, he took away my mangalsutra and asked me to go back home. Then he married another girl," she said.


My colleague says the issue of abandoned child brides is particularly pronounced in Andhra where polygamy is still a very strong tradition and in many cases the men do not want to support multiple wives.
The wives cannot claim alimony since their marriages are void in the eyes of law.

Case Study 3: Uncannily similar to Jagya-Anandi case:
In West Medinipur in West Bengal, Samina Bibi was married off at an age 12 to a guy of 15 in an arranged marriage. They lived together for 4  years and just had one daughter, when Mokhtar Alam, the husband, had to leave the village for better job opportunities in the city. He sent money to his wife for the first 6 months and then the money stopped. Samina lived off by borrowing and desperately tried to track her husband, who had stopped all contacts with his family. Finally, with the help of a local official she managed to travel to the city where Mokhtar was supposedly employed as a construction worker. She found out Mokhtar had remarried and had settled down with a new wife and a good income. Samina sought legal help but Mokhtar cited the illegality of his previous marriage and got off the hook. Ashamed and broken, Samina came back to the village and committed suicide. Her young daughter is growing up at her mama's place and probably will soon be married off early, like her mother.Cry

The Problem:

There are thousands of cases like these where the Child Marriage Act actually raises several other issues :
1. What happens to the abandoned child wife whose marriage is not recognized in the eyes of the law and yet who suffers the ill effects of such marriage?
2. What can be done when the men in such marriages use the law as an excuse to abandon their wives and take up a second marriage or relationship?
3. Can we at once declare child marriage as illegal and yet recognize the legal rights of the child brides as wives?

My suggestion:
With the debate still going on, I suggest a reformation of the existing child marriage laws. While the police and local officials should still work to stop the child marriages from happening, the law needs to be revised to protect the girls who are already married off:

i) If the girl is still underage, both the girls' family as well as the husband/ boy's family should be legally bound to provide and take care of the girl till she can afford to support herself.
ii) If the partners are adults and the man decides to nullify his child marriage, the wife should still be given all the rights of a legal wife and be eligible for alimony just like any other marriage.

Anandi's case is in fact very very rare. Most women victims of child marriage are not so lucky to have such a supportive in laws' family. However, there are many men like Jagya who could use child marriage as an excuse to abandon his wife and not take up responsibility.

Jagya has every right to choose his own life partner, but that doesn't give him the right to evade his responsibility towards his first wife. Jagya and Anandi's marriage is like any marriage gone bad, so Anandi should have all the rights of a divorced wife--including an alimony and rights over Jagya's property. I hope the cvs show this as to how a child bride, if abandoned, should still be allowed to claim her rights as a wife. I hate to see Jagya get off so easily, using child marriage as an excuse, posing as a victim and celebrating his love for Gauri with no responsibility, whatsoever towards Anandi.Angry



 


Edited by woman11 - 02 June 2011 at 7:12pm

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Suchi-

IF-Sizzlerz

Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009

Posts: 12564

Posted: 02 June 2011 at 7:32pm | IP Logged
THANK YOU VERY MUCHHH!!! 
mypoints EXACTLYYY


This is the reason why i am sooo UPSET at everyone and anyone who disses Anandi and call her dumb and all those rude names. 

because they are being cruel to the VICTIM not to the one who is the criminal. 


And yes Anandi is LUCKY to got a such a good family and a good example they are. As I mentioned that it is a Male Chauvinistic society so , they will tend to blame the female as many people do. 


And the interview of Jagya and Gauri , is exactly the proof of what people like Jagya do. Bring in the legality. No matter how many times the reporter said, so don't you think you have cheated on Anandi, they bring in the child issue and its legality. 

Bal Vivah, don't go together and all the other nonsense. Which is fine in technical terms but what abotu the girls who go through it!!????

what about them

yes exactly as many dear people who DISS Anandi might say, 


*EDITED*

Where as Jagya can live off with Gauri happily and Anandi can become successful !????

IS that a solution? NO.

Anandi is going to be succesful becuase its a story and not a reality. 

She is one girl ( a character-not real-) who got is off lucky, even though she suffered A LOT!! She got to study!


Thank GOD for that. 

====
But the above article shouts out the point I am screaming about every time I post... Its not about the legality of the issue, its the very nature of the issue, that is the inhuman treatment of the girls who go through this.

Men Don't CARE , they will just move on and have a good life where as the girls suffer.

What did Jagya not get, 

He got a great family
money
career and now a 
great career oriented girl whom he chose after he DUMPED off Anandi like a doormat.

I am sorry Anand is NOT a doormat rather she is voice of all those poor girls who are going through this EVERY single day and instead of appreciating this fact that she is standing up and fighting, and instead of supporting her, the Jagya and Gauri marriage is supported.

Its an Insult to people like Anandi and people like Gauri. 

===== 
Classic example , even today Jagya tried to do the guilt trip on gauri as well.. "well you hid from me too" !? trying to justify what he did.

And thats what he is, a person who loves himself and no one else. 

=====

But honestly my heart cries out for such Poorrr girls 

:"( tears 

I just hope this criminality stops and people change and for the better. 

Find the solution for the issue not an easy escape root for perverts> ! who care about their lusts and ambitions. 

VB Note: Please do not attack other members


Edited by ammoos - 02 June 2011 at 10:30pm

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divmath

Goldie

divmath

Joined: 17 November 2009

Posts: 2077

Posted: 02 June 2011 at 7:56pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Suchi-NivReniac

THANK YOU VERY MUCHHH!!! 
mypoints EXACTLYYY


This is the reason why i am sooo UPSET at everyone and anyone who disses Anandi and call her dumb and all those rude names. 

because they are being cruel to the VICTIM not to the one who is the criminal. 


And yes Anandi is LUCKY to got a such a good family and a good example they are. As I mentioned that it is a Male Chauvinistic society so , they will tend to blame the female as many people do. 

How can you just judge people...based on their opinion? this is unacceptable...have seen you talking a lot about this Suchi...doesnt mean I just keep quite...Yeah I HATE Anandi...there...so that doesnt mean I am a Male Chauvinist...I am a hard core feminist...just that my way of looking at things is different...so just cool it OK...you dont have any right to call people Male Chauvinists...just because they dont agree with your view !!


And the interview of Jagya and Gauri , is exactly the proof of what people like Jagya do. Bring in the legality. No matter how many times the reporter said, so don't you think you have cheated on Anandi, they bring in the child issue and its legality. 

Bal Vivah, don't go together and all the other nonsense. Which is fine in technical terms but what abotu the girls who go through it!!????

what about them

yes exactly as many dear people who DISS Anandi might say, 


Let them go to hell or commit suicide. - REALLY?? HOW DARE YOU  who said that??? AGAIN YOU ARE JUDGING...

Where as Jagya can live off with Gauri happily and Anandi can become successful !????

IS that a solution? NO. - 

Anandi is going to be succesful becuase its a story and not a reality. 

She is one girl ( a character-not real-) who got is off lucky, even though she suffered A LOT!! She got to study!


Thank GOD for that. 

====
But the above article shouts out the point I am screaming about every time I post... Its not about the legality of the issue, its the very nature of the issue, that is the inhuman treatment of the girls who go through this.

Men Don't CARE , they will just move on and have a good life where as the girls suffer.

What did Jagya not get, 

He got a great family
money
career and now a 
great career oriented girl whom he chose after he DUMPED off Anandi like a doormat.

I am sorry Anand is NOT a doormat rather she is voice of all those poor girls who are going through this EVERY single day and instead of appreciating this fact that she is standing up and fighting, and instead of supporting her, the Jagya and Gauri marriage is supported. -

 

*EDITED*


Its an Insult to people like Anandi and people like Gauri. -  I dont think so...

===== 
Classic example , even today Jagya tried to do the guilt trip on gauri as well.. "well you hid from me too" !? trying to justify what he did.

And thats what he is, a person who loves himself and no one else. 

=====

But honestly my heart cries out for such Poorrr girls 

:"( tears 

I just hope this criminality stops and people change and for the better. 

Find the solution for the issue not an easy escape root for perverts> ! who care about their lusts and ambitions. 

 
VB Note: Please do not attack other members


Edited by ammoos - 02 June 2011 at 10:31pm

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intruderfast

Suchi-

IF-Sizzlerz

Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009

Posts: 12564

Posted: 02 June 2011 at 8:24pm | IP Logged
Divmath, you are coming and starting an argument. 

I did not mean by you from the above statements. If you think otherwise again its really not my problem.

It seems like you have issues with every statement I make and you are thinking I am talking about you. And its not the case you have said so clearly that you want Anandi to be successful and if you hate her etc etc thats ur wish. 

But yes I have stated my opinion and I have full right to do so and I have not insulted anyone
So peace

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intruderfast

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intruderfast

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Posted: 02 June 2011 at 9:17pm | IP Logged

what this is unacceptable suchi, how can u just make opinions like this abt anandi bashers

even though i dislike anandi, whenver she has done something good, i have appreciated her
thats my thinking, even if u hate a character , if he or she does something right , one should appreciate that, simple
and i can counterview the same abt jagya , jagya is not evil, he has done bad things ,
my blood also boil when ppl bash jagya even unnecessarily but hey thats ur opinion, bolo jitna bolna hain, similarly let us also speak our mind
 
 ppl hate him fine but he should be praised when he does something good, thats what i feel
i want anandi to study , make a name for herself, never ever said that she should die Ouch, or commit suicide
she has the support of her of jagya family so she can move on
oh dont mind if she gets some portion of their property,
even i want jagya to repent and truly say sorry to anadi for creating this mess
so pls just cos we r anandi haters , stop insulting us

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divmathtanvismile

andv

Goldie

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Joined: 09 March 2011

Posts: 2183

Posted: 02 June 2011 at 9:36pm | IP Logged
@the poster of the topic. Thank you so  much for all this information. Honestly until BV started I was unaware that Child marriage is still practiced in India. It is indeed a very sad state of affairs. These case studies that you have posted bring goose bumps to me. These young kids have to go through so much of physical and mental abuse. Its really sad.

So are these laws for child bride protection being currently reviewed? The suggestions that you have mentioned in your post if implemented might prove to be a blessing in disguise for these innocent girls. Is there a way to voice our support (through the internet)? If there is some website could you please post the same? thanks again.

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Suchi-

IF-Sizzlerz

Suchi-

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Posts: 12564

Posted: 02 June 2011 at 9:57pm | IP Logged
Anmol, again I did not make a direct implication on you or divmath and I have said that it is a general statement. IF you felt it, Then honestly how am I at fault when that was not my intention!? 

And you know verywell that I have always had pleasant conversations with you and appreciated many posts of you so its def. not personal. 
I hope you understand and can differentiate that I am making a general statement and my povs and nothing to do with what you say.


shine23

Senior Member

shine23

Joined: 02 June 2011

Posts: 360

Posted: 02 June 2011 at 10:14pm | IP Logged
Wowww - thanks for the post. Lot of information about the cruel realities around child marriages.
 
No man should be allowed to get off the hook from taking the responsibility of the marriage by claiming themselves to be a victim. Well fine you fell in love with someone else you want a divorce but you cant just treat your first wife like a piece of dirt and cant be allowed to move on by ignoring her existence. The thought makes me so mad that men gets away from these situations  so easily, remarries and lives happily without having to take any responsibility and the women involved  suffers their whole life - SO UNFAIRAngry.  
 

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