Joined: 16 February 2011
All I wanted to know was her...
My head was hurting. I held my head with one hand whilst the other was still clutched onto the rod. I closed my eyes trying to relieve myself from the pain but all that came to my mind was images of her. Images of her laughing, dancing, smiling, playing pranks...that's all that I could see. My pain only increased; not physically but emotionally. However, it gave me all the strength it could and soon I found myself grabbing the rod with both hands firmly and I had started to hit him all over pouring out all my anger and pain. The rod was a metal rod. It was just like the one he had used to kill her.
I still could see the scene so clearly in my eyes. It was like it had just happened yesterday not three years ago. In fact, that was the only thing I could remember. He was hitting her with that metal rod. I saw myself protesting but instead I got hit too. But I survived it, she didn't. Perhaps, it wasn't just the metal rod that they had used to kill her. I don't know. I don't remember. I don't who she was but all I knew was that I loved her. I felt it in my heart. That gave me the determination to kill this guy. I had to kill this guy. Because of this one guy I had lost her. And along with it the memories of her too. I lost the chance of living with her and I couldn't yet live with her memories because I had none left in me.
I dropped the rod as I saw him drop to the ground with blood all over him. He deserved this. That was one thing I did know.
I walked off from there and headed straight for my cold flat. I was smiling despite the fact that I had killed someone. In fact, I was satisfied with myself. I felt as if God himself had assigned me this task. I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off my chest. I didn't care if I got caught or if I was put to rot in jail. I was happy, that's all. I went and sat at my desk when something I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. It was a black leather book which resembled a diary. As I picked it up, somewhere I felt as if this was it. The solution to my problems.
I opened the first page and I realised that it was indeed my own diary. I read through all its contents and all that I could concentrate on was her. The images of her that I had previously made sense now. I could see all the things of the past happening vividly right before my eyes. This certainly was the solution to my problems. My cold flat no longer seemed cold. I opened the curtains and let light through just like how I was just enlightened with my memories with her.
Perhaps, God only wanted me to read this after I had fulfilled my task. Thank you, God. You have given me the ability to remember and cherish my memories with her...
Joined: 02 July 2005