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Single and happy? (Page 3)

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neets_ltl

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neets_ltl

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 12:47pm | IP Logged
Hey Fivr, nice post - I am only 21 so I really haven't 'seen the world' yet LOL but my quick views intermingled with my forseeable hopes :P:

Is it possible for a girl OR a guy to be unmarried "past their prime shadi wali umar" and be perfectly happy/content with it?
Well, yes there are possibly some people out there who are perfectly happy without a jeevan saathi past that marriagable age, maybe because daily life routine has gotten them into a habit whereby it never occurs to them that they are lacking that companionship. Hectic lifestyles take over, and the 24/7 need to make money funda becomes more important, so much so, that those individuals forget the need to 'seek a partner.' Maybe such girls or guys are happy surrounded by the company of their parents and would rather stay with them, or maybe that lack of a partner is made up for by being surrounded by friends or work colleagues. Confused In the end, it depends on how that person's environment is and what sort of culture they are living in etc etc.

I personally, from experience, have heard back in India of cousin brothers and sisters who are unmarried and that have hit 30 or are past it. People talk and to be honest, judgements are created by others, even by those living abroad, where such issues, would be thought to be ignored. I guess at the end of the day, our culture plays a role in creating that need to get married at a young age. I find it weird that my cousins aren't still married. Yes, despite living abroad, one does, due to parents' influences and constant drumming of such issues, start to pick up and create such opinions. However, I myself would want to get married before such 'taane menne' are thrown on me LOL Also there are other issues like fertility (blame it on the scientist factor) and 'get married, have kids, shed the weight and maintain it' factor that I think will work well LOL

I agree with you that end of the day, men and women want companionship, and eventually it wil catch up, that 'akelapan' will be more prominent and like you said, seeing friends getting married and siblings/cousins YOUNGER than you get married, would create those sighs and 'if onlys.' Also, isn't that the whole purpose of us being on earth? We as humans have emotions, the biggest one of 'love' so that we can find 'the one' and pass on genes to the next generation and so forth. No one can escape love- there are some who have been able to live a life on their own, be it for religious reasons (devotees), personal family reasons or simply because they just feel like they're better off living life solely for themself rather than sharing it with someone. I couldn't do that Embarrassed

I do hope that they show those elements in Priya's life...hopefully it would be more thoughts that would be projected, in relation to her loneliness...a few words and subtle scenes, where expressions say it all type thing...
Thats my POV LOL

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...PARiNA...

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
gr8 topic ...

every1 has said a lot ..
just  like to say that .. u like to be single upto an age limit .. means upto 25-26 or 27 max
after that u WANNA get married
well thats what i feel .. coz i hv crossed that age ... LOL



Edited by ...PARiNA... - 26 May 2011 at 12:55pm

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
As Vasu said, there is a difference in being alone and being lonely. Being single does not necessarily mean that the person is lonely. A much married woman can too feel lonely.
 
 As a 20-something, being single for rest of your life may seem impossible. As you age, into your 30s and 40s, you just become comfortable with the idea of being single for life and the family pressure also wanes down. The society of late, especially in the metros, is more accepting of single women. Although there are wagging tongues who may even question the sexual orientation.

No one is perfectly content with anything. People do encounter pangs, but how you deal with it that matters. Just because a woman feels lonely, she would not jump in bed with the next available guy.

Talking of permanence in relationships, you cannot count on it in the day and age where every third marriage in the capital ends in a divorce, of which one in five is within the first year itself. Have seen marriages of 15-20 years ending in a divorce. Can always trust one's family to look out for us.

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 1:26pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Eventide



Talking of permanence in relationships, you cannot count on it in the day and age where every third marriage in the capital ends in a divorce, of which one in five is within the first year itself. Have seen marriages of 15-20 years ending in a divorce. Can always trust one's family to look out for us.


You can but uptill a point...what happens when your family passes away and you are the only one left?

If we can't count on the permanence of other relationships, we can't on that either...in one way or the other, they all end...but it is us human beings as a species that are coded to look for companionship so that life goes on...Again, I don't say marriage is the only solution but you can't discount the basic human need for companionship either...Generally we all have our families and they are the only ones that love us unconditionally...but one day it all passes away in the cycle of life too...generally speaking...ofcourse anyone can die at any time...there are no guarantees for any age.

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 1:42pm | IP Logged
^^ Anu, I agree that anyone can die at any time and eventually we will too so marriage I guess is important to keep the cycle going. 

I think the problem is people are 
a) afraid of the unknown? What will marriage be like? 
b) afraid of change- if I live with my in-laws x, y,z will happen and 
c) just don't particularly like change.

I am sure people who are open to new things but marriage is a whole new aspect that we need to be mentally, physically and emotionally ready for.. for some it may be at 18 and for others in later life.? So maybe marriage is just right for people at different points in life when only they know yes I am ready to take on whatever comes with marriage and martial life? =)

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 1:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by _Sanjana23_

^^ Anu, I agree that anyone can die at any time and eventually we will too so marriage I guess is important to keep the cycle going. 

I think the problem is people are 
a) afraid of the unknown? What will marriage be like? 
b) afraid of change- if I live with my in-laws x, y,z will happen and 
c) just don't particularly like change.

I am sure people who are open to new things but marriage is a whole new aspect that we need to be mentally, physically and emotionally ready for.. for some it may be at 18 and for others in later life.? So maybe marriage is just right for people at different points in life when only they know yes I am ready to take on whatever comes with marriage and martial life? =)


@bold: Totally agree with this point...that pretty much sums it up well I'd saySmile

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ProdigalStudent

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 8:01pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by nureat01



You can but uptill a point...what happens when your family passes away and you are the only one left?

If we can't count on the permanence of other relationships, we can't on that either...in one way or the other, they all end...but it is us human beings as a species that are coded to look for companionship so that life goes on...Again, I don't say marriage is the only solution but you can't discount the basic human need for companionship either...Generally we all have our families and they are the only ones that love us unconditionally...but one day it all passes away in the cycle of life too...generally speaking...ofcourse anyone can die at any time...there are no guarantees for any age.


By family, I did not just mean the parents. What about siblings? There is a lesser chance of out-living all siblings and their families. But you never know.

It is not the fear of change or being afraid of the unknown in all cases. Personally, I think it is about reasons for staying single and thus priorities. Lets say for example, a girl decides to stay single to help ease the financial burden, after the loss of a father. She may feel lonely occasionally. But would she be ready to let the family go, for the sake of love. Have come across a few such cases in real life. It happens. These women are well into their 50s and 60s now.


Edited by Eventide - 26 May 2011 at 8:06pm

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shanti05

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
Nice topic..Smile

In this age and time.. Single and happy may be Ok till certain time but then you need a companion ...

Also moreover for women I feel the biological clock ticks and with so much happening in the world  you need that one person to share your nutshell of emotions.. a support a person who understands you and decides to carry one the rest of your life till they part again..
so its always twos a company and its very much needed..

Stages in life demand that its a norm even if you do not wish now later it will come and fall in your plate !!



Edited by shanti05 - 26 May 2011 at 10:29pm

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