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Single and happy? (Page 2)

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Mru_bee

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 9:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by nureat01

Mru, the die hard Chandana fanLOL

I think Avantika in R.com was a free spirit, almost nomadic type of character...not exactly the most stable of ppl...I truly don't think she herself had a clue about what she really wanted in life...flitting from one thing to the next.


hahaha.. Anu LOL

Yes, I know Avantika was a free spirit. But I was talking more in terms of the dialogue.

The dialogue says at one point " Jab tak Aap akele khush nahee reh sakte, tab tak aap kisi aur key saath khush nahi reh saktey" I love this philosophy.

The main argument for marriage mostly is " you shouldn't be alone" , and I agree with the flaky Avantika philosophy of being happy when being alone too ...

-- Mru

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psawyer

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 9:42am | IP Logged
@Mru - absolutely agree with you. What is this word "settled" that has become so popular in this context? So an unmarried person is unsettled?! I get really annoyed when my family uses this term with relation to marriage. I don't want marriage to be my defining characteristic - oh, that girl, she is married/single/widowed. Not, she is a doctor/teacher/good human being/an excellent pianist. No, she is "settled" Wacko

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 9:49am | IP Logged
Originally posted by psawyer

@Mru - absolutely agree with you. What is this word "settled" that has become so popular in this context? So an unmarried person is unsettled?! I get really annoyed when my family uses this term with relation to marriage. I don't want marriage to be my defining characteristic - oh, that girl, she is married/single/widowed. Not, she is a doctor/teacher/good human being/an excellent pianist. No, she is "settled" Wacko


Hehe.. Vasu.

I can totally understand. Though I am not *single*, but I have gone through the *you should be settled* talks. Now that I am *settled*, I am all *set*? But, no, Now I have to *have kids* to be really *settled* and then after I have kids, am I *set* for life? Nopes, Now I have to get my kids *settled* in life. Vicious circle of *settling*. I am not sure when a person is said to be truly *settled*!!!.

So I say , I am completely *unsettled* and damn proud of it. LOL

-- Mru

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 9:51am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Mru_bee

Originally posted by nureat01

Mru, the die hard Chandana fanLOL

I think Avantika in R.com was a free spirit, almost nomadic type of character...not exactly the most stable of ppl...I truly don't think she herself had a clue about what she really wanted in life...flitting from one thing to the next.


hahaha.. Anu LOL

Yes, I know Avantika was a free spirit. But I was talking more in terms of the dialogue.

The dialogue says at one point " Jab tak Aap akele khush nahee reh sakte, tab tak aap kisi aur key saath khush nahi reh saktey" I love this philosophy.

The main argument for marriage mostly is " you shouldn't be alone" , and I agree with the flaky Avantika philosophy of being happy when being alone too ...

-- Mru


LOL sach hi toh hai...you ARE the die hard Chandana fan, haina? Along with Anju in that forum all in love with the pair of Rohan-AvantikaLOL

I liked that dialogue too and I agree with that as well...but I guess I'm not viewing this from the whole society pressure angle of what is perceived as being "settled"...I was viewing it from a broader human perspective that goes across cultures...Avantika TOO was looking for companionship in whatever way she could find it...and I'm willing to guarantee that in the fag end of her life, no matter how fun this philosophy sounds to her now, she would have wished that she could have found someone to share her life with. I'm not saying that just for the sake of that one should "settle" into marriage...but that doesn't mean that ppl can be happy being single for the rest of their lives either...you WILL feel the pang of loneliness at some point for sure...it is human.

You can be happy otherwise, period...your happiness isn't contingent upon being single or married...there are many other things you can find happiness in life to keep yourself happy on your own terms...but a craving for companionship shows in some form or the other...in Avantika's case, by jumping on Rohan all she could in this epi to drag him along to do "fun" things with her...why? She could have done those fun things ALONE also, nahin?LOL

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 9:55am | IP Logged

So, I'm just silently reading the discussion and I'll post my replies later at night once I'm home.. LOL

 
*goes back to silently lurking and reading the discussion* Day Dreaming

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 9:58am | IP Logged
LOL, Anu - I'm sure she could do those things alone...

I do agree with you that we are not creatures of solitude. We do and always crave human touch, human connection. But as others (and you) have said, permanence in a relationship does not automatically equal marriage. I am all on board for the permanent, serious, long-lasting relationship and I am even on board for marriage - I am not anti-marriage; I too would like to be married someday. But if I do not marry, I don't think I am the kind of girl who will be devastated by that. I could have affairs, I could have a long-term boyfriend, I could have no relationship (barring the familial and friendship kind) at all - but I would have enough other things in my life to make me happy. 

What annoys me is those girls who are dead set on being married and those parents who think that an unmarried girl is ruined forever. As Mru said, when are we really settled? We spend our lives trying to be settled and even by the very end we work for this purpose. I say we should be happy being unsettled, and just be happy. 

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 10:07am | IP Logged
More than an actor's fan, I was super impressed by the series on a whole. Rohan-Avantika pairing would have been too flaky .. hehehe

Ok, coming back to the topic (before Fivr goes *headdesking LOL ).

Hmm.. if the feeling of being lonely is one of the reasons, then it is also possible that one would outlive one's partner by several years or be married and yet be alone. Finally we are always alone, when we die. Having memories of a good life, comes with having experienced them, whether with husband, or kids or other family or friends. Being married increases the chances of having a companion next to you, when one is at the fag end of life.

*she would have wished that she could have found someone to share her life with*, I am sure she would have but would that have made her unhappy, I think not. It was her choice and she was happy. That I think follows for everything, being single or being married.. as long as one is happy, it doesn't make one status more desirable than the other.

* Errr.. I am not advertising being single for life, Just feel, it should be a personal choice, and society should not be the judge of whether it is the right or wrong choice.

Another Mru Philo *Being Single is a State of Mind.. Be Single, Be Free and Be Happy* LOL

Just realized, I rambled a lot.. blame it on the low sugar.LOL

-- Mru

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Posted: 26 May 2011 at 10:14am | IP Logged
Brilliant post! Very well written! =) 

Aaawh Fivr always love your discussions and was definately a massive fan of your TINs hoping you will be doing the same for BALH.. 

So to the topic-

Im only 22 so not really being pushed for marriage yet but my sister has just turned 30 and I know how much people are telling my parents that she should get married cos of what everyone will say, she has to be married soon or when will she have kids vaghera, but she is content and happy. I mean maybe she is fed up with the aunties nagging but I know some of my cousins who are reaching 35 plus and refuse to marry cos they say its easier to be single.

Personally I don't think being married will ensure happiness or being content. If the nagging/taunting stopped then many people wouldn't be pressured to getting married so quickly maybe? 

Sadly, but yes humans have this function whereby they can't be alone.. Its a way of life that people just don't like being lonely. I mean there are people who live alone but I don't think even they would cut off all ties with people around them? Its just how we are but does that mean just to have someone around marrying is the only option? (im not referring to cohabitation for the record I am quite old fashioned in some senses and don't agree with living with someone w/o marriage. Sorry but thats just mee). Why does only marriage have to fill the void of lonliness? 

I mean I have friend who married at 18 and she has two kids already. But what next? She says she is happy in her marriage and nothing changed for her only she lives with her husband and kids but she know is married and will be most likely for the most part of her lifetime so why rush? Or go so quickly? You may not fall in love again or find the ONE but she never really had a chance at waiting and first accomplishing things.

And also what about people in empty shell marriages? Just being married for the sake of children/family? There is a void there but people find other ways to be happy? 

As for Priya, I hope she's not the kismat ki maari, dukhiyaaran who acts as though she missed shaadi ki bus to suhaagaan land like some other dukhi birds I have seen on TV x amount of times. She seems like she is content and she doesn't really worry but I guess we will see the real extent of that on Monday when we see what the characters are really like.
Ideally, I hoping to see Priya as someone who is a working and just lives for life as it is. Not listening to the possible taunts that she may get for being kuwaari and so/so. Lol. 

^^ kuch zyaada hogaya. Mostly rambling on. Lol. 

=)

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