Joined: 28 February 2011
The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:
Joined: 20 May 2008
The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:
Joined: 25 February 2010
The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:
Joined: 28 February 2011
"In the days that followed I changed completely. I cut off all relations with my friends. Adi and Vicky would try to talk to me about it but I ignored all such conversations and eventually they gave up also. I pushed everyone away because I felt I deserved no happiness after taking away a life that was so important to all of us. Dadi was the only one I would even remotely listen to and that was because she was an elder. I would spend most of my time in the office and only come home at a suitable time for Piyu. Dadi took care of her most of the time but I knew it was my responsibility also. So I would only come home for their sake otherwise who knows where I would have gone to wallow in grief."
Maan finished his discourse in the same position where he started it. By staring out into the darkness, away from eyes that he thought would judge him. Once he was done Maan had lost all stamina. It had been a long time since he had recalled all of the past as a whole from the very beginning. It was horrible enough living with the simple facts so going through each detail within his mind was absolutely dreadful. Emotionally he was drained and numb due to the refreshed thoughts coming back to life within his mind to harbor the amplified guilt once again. But now he was nearing physical collapse also and had to push against the glass for support. He closed his eyes tightly and wished to go back in time and change all of this. He wished to erase everything and make it be perfect.
Geet intently listened to every word that came from his lips. She not only listened to it but she lived it. Geet mentally transported herself into his past. She rode the in the car with him. She felt the pain there and also in the hospital where she could picture him lying unconscious. She cried for him when the truth came out and when his support walked out on him. Geet cried for Armaan and his anxiety for his unborn baby and Riddhima, she cried for Piyu's unknown loss, and Dadi's grief of losing one loved one and going through the torture of watching another lay hanging between life and death. She had cried so much silently that along with the streaks of water on her cheeks, her eyes had also dried up. If someone were able to look at her face despite the darkness they would see that all color had been sapped with paleness taking its place. She statuesquely sat staring at his back observing the slouching of his position and the clenching of his fists in either anger or frustration every now and then. But upon seeing his body weakening so much that he needed support of the wall she rushed to his side to help. With her hand coming in contact with his cold skin Geet became alarmed and tried to pull him towards the sofa but he wouldn't budge. She hoarsely whispered, "Maan, please sit down."
Maan had purposefully ignored her eyes the whole time he rehashed his secrets. He wanted to ignore the expressions that would inadvertently come on her face. Maan thought they would judge him as guilty even though that was what a part of him wanted. However, when Maan looked at Geet, he saw none of that. In contrast, Maan saw a reflection of his pain and sorrow. He didn't want to look to into it them and looked away only nodded to her request before following Geet towards the sofa where he collapsed holding his head. Geet took a seat next to Maan and rubbed his arm to get warmth into his icy body. He seemed calm for a few minutes but silence can be deceiving. "It's unfair…it's unfair that I walked away unharmed while…" His voice was low and bitter.
Geet didn't let him finish his sentence by immediately covering his mouth. She shook her head vigorously until she could manage to speak without sobbing. "Don't you dare say that Maan, that's not true. Undoubtedly Armaan was physically harmed and lost his life but you didn't escape unscathed either. You walked away with the weight of his death on your shoulders for the rest of your life."
He slowly removed Geet's hand from his face and gently held it. "Nevertheless Geet, what I have to bear is nothing compared to what he lost. At least I was given the ability to live with a burden. Armaan didn't even have that choice."
She squeezed his hand and spoke as softly as possible without being inaudible. He was the most vulnerable she'd ever seen him be and the last thing she wanted was having him push her away also. "Maan, I'm not saying the life he lost is any less than what you suffered but it was his time. I know that doesn't change anything but certain things aren't in our hands. If nothing remember this from me. You learned to accept his death and accept his daughter as your own. Now it's time to accept yourself."
"I have accepted myself." There was authority in his voice but it was distant and only half convincing even to him.
Geet realized he was far from being completely his old self. Maan had now trusted her with his past but it was time for him to trust himself to move forward. "No, you haven't Maan. The only thing you have accepted is guilt and punishment. You need to accept that along with the fact that there is also a life to lead. You've lived only for the sake of doing so for Piyu which in commendable but now you also need to live for yourself."
He looked at her curiously not comprehending what she was saying. Maan didn't understand why she was being sympathetic. He was expecting her to react differently, with animosity rather than concern. "Why? Aren't you the least bit angry with me? Don't you think what I did was wrong? Haven't I committed a crime? Do you think I really deserve a normal life after that? Aren't you also going to walk out on me like everyone else? Like Armaan, Riddhima, Sam and one day Piyu when she finds out the truth?" He threw one question after the other not being able to contain the anxiety.
Geet wanted to cry at the way his mind had already set itself up for hatred. Maan had preconditioned it for so long to expect hate that for him there seemed to be no other alternative. She loathed the way he wouldn't look in her eyes expecting that because what she felt for him was far from hatred. "What do you mean by when Piyu finds out the truth? Maan, she's not going to hate you."
"How do you know for certain Geet? She's my daughter now but what will happen when she realizes I'm the reason her biological father is gone? Will she see me as her father then? Will she even consider me as a person that loved her and wanted the best for her? Or will she only see me as the culprit?" It was then that salty water started to shed from his usually fierce eyes. Geet would have been oblivious to it had it not been for feeling teardrops fall one after the other on the hand he held tightly. Geet didn't stop him. She instead let him cry knowing it was only once all tears had been shed could a person be able to smile truly.
"Maan, you're right I don't know what her reaction will be but I'm certain she'll forgive you. You are the one person that has been there for her all this time. She knows you love her and care for her otherwise you wouldn't have given up so much for her. By the time she's old enough to realize the truth your bond together will only fortify and no one will be able to take away what you have with her."
"I guess only time will tell how the cards will fall." Despite his words, no one could miss the pessimism in Maan's voice.
Geet gazed at his lowered face dejectedly. Every word uttered by him caused her heart to ache over and over again. "So much doubt isn't good for one man, you know…" Geet wanted to continue with a question but debated if she should ask it. After drawing the conclusion it was critical to getting him to move on she lost all hesitation. "Why do you trust me and misunderstand me at the same time? Did you only trust me with your past to hope I would hate you so much and walk away on my own after knowing everything so you don't have to worry about hurting me?"
Maan thought for a moment before replying. "I only wanted to tell you the truth and the decision was to be solely yours…but you're right…a part of me did hope you would be angry because I don't want any more people to suffer because of me."
"Maan, more people are suffering this way. Your seclusion is tearing them apart inside. How do you think Dadi feels seeing you like this? What about the friends you left behind?" Maan sat silently not responding. She was trying to be calm but couldn't take his self destructive behavior. She pulled his face towards her making him look at her, "You said you trust me yet you were afraid of losing me to this? Is that how much you've understood me? Did you think of me to be this judgmental, Maan?" She asked him crossly.
Maan realized she was rightfully angry and apologized. "I'm sorry Geet…I know you're not like that…it's just that when I look into the mirror, in my eyes all I see is guilt. And throughout the years that's all I've expected from people. I guess that clouded my judgment for a moment but I was wrong. I forgot you're not in the category of people, you mean more than that…I'm sorry."
Hearing from him that all he saw inside was guilt was enough for Geet to know there was a long ways to go. Maan needed to trust in himself now. Moreover Geet realized she had to be the one to make him do so. "Maan, I'm not heartless. I also cannot only judge right and wrong. I'm human and I must take in to account my feelings which say you aren't guilty to the extent to which you hold yourself responsible. I believe you have the right to live and I will walk with you until you get to the point of acceptance. Even if you want me leave I'm not going anywhere until you are able to forgive, accept and deem yourself worthy to live. You made a mistake, which we all do and you must do what we all do when we make mistakes, which is learn from them."
"I did learn from my mistake Geet. I learned to be in contact with people only to an extent that is necessary because I can't lose any more people I care about."
"That's the easy way Maan. Guarding yourself from loved ones for fear of hurting them is weak. And I know you are not a weak person Maan, you're far from that. That's why I want you to be the Maan that everyone knew before the accident, I want you to be happy again because that's truly what you deserve. You are not only repentant for your mistake but you have paid for it all these years. Now it's time to move on because there is no reason to waste a life the way you are. So I'm not going to let you go down this road any longer."
"I should have known you wouldn't give up." Maan looked at her with admiring eyes. He knew it was too soon to know if he could really change, if he could really be anything close to the person he used to be. But he was grateful to Geet for her determination to help him.
Geet saw a flicker of hope rekindling in his eyes causing her to break a smile. It was a weak one yet a smile nonetheless. She felt maybe somewhere she was able to get through to him. Not being able to contain her joy Geet softly pecked his cheek. "Of course not Maan, I don't give up on people, especially not on those that I care about."
Maan felt a softening in his heart, something that hadn't occurred in years. It wasn't only due to her actions but also her words. He didn't move away from her after she did that to ask her what was on his mind. Instead he moved closer to her ear and whispered unconsciously allowing his hot breath to bask her sensitive skin. "Why is that? Why do you care about me so much?" His voice went down a few octaves forgetting everything but the thought as to why she was doing this. Geet had her own troubles to deal with and could have very well ignored his problems but instead she was doing all she could to help him through this. He admired her personal strength to which she dealt with so much and the way now she was trying to make herself stronger for him.
Geet wasn't expecting that question. She pulled her face away from the side to actually look at Maan's face. Geet searched inside of herself for an answer to that question while staring into his eyes hoping they would allow her to give a definite answer but they wouldn't. They only made it more difficult. "I don't know why I care so much for you. But if I were to ask you the same thing Maan, what would you be able say?" Progressively with her words, Geet had moved closer almost half embracing him. Her hand which tugged his rough cheek towards her earlier had now snaked down the crook of his neck and rested on his shoulder blade. While the other remained languidly hanging onto his vest near the waist. Something started to unfurl inside her the deeper she allowed herself to drown into his brown eyes. She couldn't really explain it but hoped he could see it.
He stared into her eyes with equal vigor for an answer and after a few moments he came to a conclusion. It was indescribable. That is what he'd be able to say. Maan also didn't know why he cared for her so much. All he knew was that it was only natural to do so. Just as it was the most natural thing to have her in his arms like now while she ordered him about what to do next with his life as she had done all this while. She was able to revive hope in him as he had done for her. He realized the solutions to their individual problems lay in each other's hands. Maan knew he wouldn't be able to say anything after coming to accept this so he pulled her into his arms completely and hugged her tightly. He wasn't surprised when she didn't resist but rather aided the motion and also tightly glued herself on him. They stayed like that taking in their newfound feelings and savoring the warmth that both craved for so long in life. After a few moments Maan broken the silence, "I wouldn't need words Geet, I think this explains everything." She quietly started to sob again and Maan didn't stop her. He let her drain it all out. The past twenty four hours had been a roller coaster for her especially, from dealing with her own troubles solitarily to being an understanding companion in his woes. He acknowledged it was a time of change for both of them and that it wouldn't be possible for either to go forward in the right path if their ways were separate.
The entire day had been filled with one emotional tide after another coming their way. Both needed sleep and hadn't realized when it came so easily in each other's arms but welcomed it. The peacefulness was broken the following day when both were jolted to reality with Geet's cell phone blaring a rather unpleasant tune. Maan was the first to be awoken by it and grunted, "Why in the world do you have a Justin Bieber ringtone, Geet?"
"Maan, do I look like I'm an obsessed twelve year old that listens to Justin Bieber? This has to be Piyu's doings." She tried to pull her arms out of their pressed position between Maan's back and the sofa to answer the phone which lay on the coffee table. But with Maan fidgeting it was a failed attempt. He noticed her annoyance but couldn't budge with all of her weight still on him. He told her to stop moving and he picked up the phone his free hand and held it to her ear. Even before she could say a hello there was loud, "Geeet!" notifying them both of who it was on the other side.
"Good morning, Sweetie. How are you?" Geet's face immediately beamed up hearing her voice.
"What do you mean good morning Geet? Its lunch time and you're still not home!"
Maan immediately screamed upon hearing Geet ask what time it was. How in the world had they both slept in for so long? Well, he knew how and why but it still was wasted time regardless. "Is that Dad screaming? I'm sure it is I can recognize the voice anywhere. Did he just wake up too?"
Maan couldn't hear what Piyu was saying since her voice had now mellowed to a normal tone. Geet didn't know how to respond to that, "Umm…yes Piyu that's him."
Piyu, on the other side, had turned the speaker on after wanting Geet to also talk to Dadi. "Geet, say hi to Dadi. I put you on speaker so you can talk to us together."
At the same time Maan also started screaming again leaving Geet barely being able to listen to what Piyu had just said. "Geet, come on and get up we have to get ready and go. It's already one o'clock, I want don't want to hit traffic on the way home. You can talk to Piyu when we get back."
Geet was irritated with the way he was behaving while she was on the phone. "Maan, just think about what you said, how can I get up if you don't move so I can get my arms out from behind which you are crushing?"
"That I am crushing? Geet, if you have forgotten let me remind you that it's you that is on me and I can't really help that." Geet only glared at him and attempted again to move.
"Geet? Are you still there? Hello…Geet…" Piyu asked. Meanwhile Dadi had disconnected the line not wanting to hear anymore after what Maan had just said. She didn't know what in the world they both were up to but knew well enough they wouldn't go down that path. Nevertheless, she suspected they'd think of her to have similar less than decent thoughts given the words that were spoken and to save them all from embarrassment she decided to disconnect and pretend to be ignorant. One thing she couldn't overlook though was the change in Maan's voice. Yes, he was still yelling but it wasn't cold or stern like usual instead she thought it to be lighthearted. She smiled at little thinking maybe there was some hope still.
Maan and Geet somehow managed disentangle from each other and immediately went their own ways to get ready. They were so caught up in what they had to do before leaving that they didn't over analyze what had happened not only just now but also last night. They didn't speak about it, not even in the car ride home. In a way they didn't need to because it was understood to be a mutual unspoken acceptance from both ends. They in their own ways realized concern for one another stemmed far deeper than only friendship. Indeed it started out as that but like all things that are allowed to grow. It can either flourish or perish. A part of them knew that had they turned on each other, ignored their inner voice that wanted to help the other the latter was likely. But they recognized the inner struggles the other was going through, they understood the underlying emotion of sorrow and pure helplessness and realized turning a blind eye on such a soul would only fuel the misery and self destruction. And that definitely was not an option for either of them in regards to each other.
That was a quick update, right? Well, don't get used too it...
The following 106 member(s) liked the above post:
Anjalin, mishtimsk, shanmanju, nehavashi, swati2011, honeyboney1, canon, dalur, maansineha, hedge1404, preetianand21, 01leothelion, ammyicycool, 5armad, Ballumau, bhakbhartifan, -Elfin-, nazsij, cloudflower, sakadafi, hamini_yash, cue1, rost, marvee-khan, redfox, mishtimohabbat, fullyfaltu, kavs123, MONIJA78, annbell, pari_DD, chiki143, Diva7, meem17, Sphinx, anky_s, NH1971, mystique_girl, -eiya-, prema_ks, Escapist, 123pritha, QueenbeePallavi, arabianpaki, babygurl10, kank_dah, --Kesh--, pushpi, lovebapu18, angelaraf, amzu32, puth, Newdime, ninavi, 286pearl, sheetalvasa, kdsubs, nats0101, Koolsmile, TanuDDian, crazydream, had2bu, kiran_rati, kabslocks, ammu5, ritzy09, basicquestion1, -Veritaserum-, Dilsay, krati5, Krishnaluv94, serialwatcher16, -memorable-, shalini01, esha143, Water., -Prithi-, mrk-1, --Saavi--, Alamelu, ninand, -afsha-, mandymore, mitzi11, shah10, --Ratna--, aamirkhanfan, t_areeb, Viji79, 6n6s6k6i6r6a6n6, zaara2212, Tyro, ---nishu---, anupm04, love2_soma, priyasree, punam2712, DimaagKaKeeda, Madhuri53, Loquacious_Aash, _BlackPearl_, .hayaat., abinash079, mysteriousmilli, -PoisonIvy-, Janakivallav,
Joined: 25 February 2010
You know today your readers will cheer for you. Finally they got the most awaited candy.
And tears are heard within the harp I touch. Before the reward there must be labor. You plant before you harvest. You sow in tears before you reap joy.
And the smile that is worth the praises of earth is the smile that shines through tears.
The Quantum of Solace we found within each other's arms today that led us to the peaceful sleep that we craved for how long we don't know. The solace you gave me, by sitting by my side, landed your arm to hold on to it, despite the tightness of my grip. You see through me and not letting me down. Your support on me to stand up and encourage me to take my first step in the new world I step in with you by my side. You pull the hope out of my dark soul into the bright shine. Who are you? Why do you care? No don't give me the answer; I know what it is the words would not let the justification. A mere embrace says it all. You mean to me someone the one that I waited for long.
How can I leave you and disgust you? How dare you this is how you came to know me well? You become my strength and I let you land, that's not possible you see my friend as you are a great Man. You suffered enough to punish you, the sentence is over. It's time to live up your life as the other's cling on you. Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while so that we can see life with a clearer view again. The glory of life we all learn by heart. Let's began the journey both together you and I as we will live and survive.
I still remember the day how you shared your 1st paragraph and I felt the warmth that was wrapped in small folds and how it will unfold each wrap spreading it's warmth one at a time to give Quantum of Solace a name. Your each chapter unfolded each warmth of solace with proper quantum.
Min need I have to tell you how was the update? I'll let others say that...the words are not always the players. We should give the unsaid words to be ahead in the games sometimes.
The following 7 member(s) liked the above post:
arabianpaki, -eiya-, Limerance, pushpi, meravigiliso, Water., mitzi11,
Joined: 20 May 2008
The following 5 member(s) liked the above post:
Limerance, Newdime, Water., Krishnaluv94, mitzi11,
Joined: 20 May 2008
The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:
Limerance, Newdime, Water., Krishnaluv94,
Joined: 28 February 2011
The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:
arabianpaki, Newdime, Water., Krishnaluv94,
FF.manneet-**ANIMOSITY** Thread 1 pt 16 new thread
Author: FireSafireFiree Replies: 1148 Views: 336759
|FireSafireFiree||1148||336759||02 March 2013 at 4:33am by sushfiza|
MG FF:Limitless -Thread 3- NEW THREAD LINK PG1
Author: maan-ki-sanjana Replies: 1055 Views: 155753
|maan-ki-sanjana||1055||155753||03 November 2012 at 3:31am by Sona257|
FF-M&G-**ANIMOSITY** THREAD 3- link to thread 4
Author: FireSafireFiree Replies: 1014 Views: 236527
|FireSafireFiree||1014||236527||29 October 2011 at 6:54pm by maaneetfanatic|
FF-Enigma- THREAD 7 (thread 8 link on 1st page)
Author: FireSafireFiree Replies: 933 Views: 166256
|FireSafireFiree||933||166256||05 July 2011 at 3:55am by khwaishfan|
-kashish-maaneet ff THREAD 2..link new thread add
Author: muskanp Replies: 1136 Views: 261133
|muskanp||1136||261133||15 March 2011 at 7:54pm by preethia|
Popular Channels :
Quick Links :